What's Your Relationship?

[KinkyJoe]

correctness

NOM NOM NOM NOm



Makes perfect sense to me. You explained it better than I did.





Thank you both. I was afraid I'd rambled too much.



Some of us are just special, label-less snowflakes. You know...like me.

i think you are both right i have tried the path of BDSM but it is not all things to all people i thought for a long time it was just me i am married but we talk and she knows she cant be all things for me or i for her. i enjoy different thins with in the spectrum but it all dosnt fit. you know

 

[Jerseyshore]

Gay bottom, love being seduced and letting my partner take the lead

 

[NimkiiGrizz]

I am many things. There are many titles. What matters in the end is that if your owned or in my service you do as your told. Being spirited and fun is great as long as in the end your respectful and know your place.

Just because you have a cunt does not put you in charge. If it Does you need to date men not children.

 

[Kadee]

I enjoyed reading through this thread.

I am submissive and happily married (15 years). However, my husband is extremely passive. I tried a few times earlier in our marriage to encourage his Dom side, until I realized he doesn't have one. He made an attempt a few times and it failed pretty miserably. I could feel it wasn't genuine and he felt awful at the thought of causing me any pain or discomfort at all. We bumbled through that phase for a while, mostly at my urgings.

Fortunately, we evolved into having an open relationship and we have lived happily ever after since that. He enjoys that I have experiences with other people. He chooses not to, except for a couple of times we included a third. My good experiences with dominant men bring out the best in me, which brings out the best in our relationship as a whole. It works for us.

 

[Farawyn]

I want to be alone for the first time in my life. I'm not. That's all I'm ready to say right now.
Living with someone and being lonely is different than being alone, right?

I look back at this post and realize as I read on that it spurred 2 of my most important relationships, both on this board and in my life: Necro and cookie.

I'm so happy I was able to post my sadness. I remember feeling immobile in my loneliness.
I couldn't move, or I would break.
Necro reached out to me that very day, and we haven't stopped speaking since. And cookie was the first person here (besides NO, who I was already friends with) who saw my kids' pics, who I let into my real life.

Things have changed. I'm so happy. I'm so grateful. I have real tangible love.

 

[MeekMe]

I look back at this post and realize as I read on that it spurred 2 of my most important relationships, both on this board and in my life: Necro and cookie.

I'm so happy I was able to post my sadness. I remember feeling immobile in my loneliness.
I couldn't move, or I would break.
Necro reached out to me that very day, and we haven't stopped speaking since. And cookie was the first person here (besides NO, who I was already friends with) who saw my kids' pics, who I let into my real life.

Things have changed. I'm so happy. I'm so grateful. I have real tangible love.

It's nice to be able to go back and see where you were and compare that with where you are now.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I look back at this post and realize as I read on that it spurred 2 of my most important relationships, both on this board and in my life: Necro and cookie.

I'm so happy I was able to post my sadness. I remember feeling immobile in my loneliness.
I couldn't move, or I would break.
Necro reached out to me that very day, and we haven't stopped speaking since. And cookie was the first person here (besides NO, who I was already friends with) who saw my kids' pics, who I let into my real life.

Things have changed. I'm so happy. I'm so grateful. I have real tangible love.

I always find comfort in knowing this does happen. Very happy for you and Necro.

I'm not in any relationship, and I do not anticipate being in one anytime soon.

It just is what it is.

Too many factors at play in my life, including my children and work, plus my general distrust of people have me spending the vast majority of my time just being me dealing with it alone.

There are times I'd prefer to not feel this way, and I hope for circumstances to change, but it's a feeble hope at best.

It's interesting to note that the flaws I see in myself that I try so desperately to protect the world from, are not flaws that I would consider significant or off-putting in others.

Funny how the brain works, huh?

 

[Luna2121]

......

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I look back at this post and realize as I read on that it spurred 2 of my most important relationships, both on this board and in my life: Necro and cookie.

I'm so happy I was able to post my sadness. I remember feeling immobile in my loneliness.
I couldn't move, or I would break.
Necro reached out to me that very day, and we haven't stopped speaking since. And cookie was the first person here (besides NO, who I was already friends with) who saw my kids' pics, who I let into my real life.

Things have changed. I'm so happy. I'm so grateful. I have real tangible love.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[i_love_myself76]

I am a truely dominate personality but there are many times I wish my husband would make choices. I am not one who enjoys 24/7. It's a fine balance when you have that kind of relationship. I find that he irritates me when he can't even decide what he wants for dinner. He gets ignored for hours then wonders why. Make sure you have solid rules and guidelines in how far you go before you start or it causes problems later.

 

[cookiecat]

I look back at this post and realize as I read on that it spurred 2 of my most important relationships, both on this board and in my life: Necro and cookie.

I'm so happy I was able to post my sadness. I remember feeling immobile in my loneliness.
I couldn't move, or I would break.
Necro reached out to me that very day, and we haven't stopped speaking since. And cookie was the first person here (besides NO, who I was already friends with) who saw my kids' pics, who I let into my real life.

Things have changed. I'm so happy. I'm so grateful. I have real tangible love.

I am incredibly happy for you. You deserve all the love in the world.

I don't know necro so well, but I see your happiness, and I too feel cookie's specialness, and yours. Your happiness makes me smile.

That connections of affirmation and joy can be made here makes me feel very committed to this little community and hopeful for people who join. I miss no. The vigour you two brought was just delicious, and with cookie and necro and MI's no, and masters delight, it was a very buzzing little period of time

Wasn't it though?

 

[NimkiiGrizz]

Relationship

well we just are if that makes sence. I am King/Master/Daddy. She is an alpha female i have tamed and made my loyal servant. There is just about nothing she would not do for me. all I have to do is ask. Are there compromises inour relationship. yes there are a couple but not very many at all. Some are Huge others are nothing. All depends on your relationship and definations of a relationship. Were extremly old school so the modern day Feminist doesn't like us at all cause all they seem to see is cave people. All we see is a loud bitch who needs a propper fucking. it's all perspective

 

[i_love_myself76]

well we just are if that makes sence. I am King/Master/Daddy. She is an alpha female i have tamed and made my loyal servant. There is just about nothing she would not do for me. all I have to do is ask. Are there compromises inour relationship. yes there are a couple but not very many at all. Some are Huge others are nothing. All depends on your relationship and definations of a relationship. Were extremly old school so the modern day Feminist doesn't like us at all cause all they seem to see is cave people. All we see is a loud bitch who needs a propper fucking. it's all perspective

True because I know I would never be able to be with a dom. To much of a personality conflict. Lol

 

[symbolicflame]

Submissive, pet with a bit of primal thrown in, brat lesbian in a strictly vanilla relationship. Would I like it to change? Sure would! Will it? Very doubtful as she has no desire to explore what I enjoy.

 

[Lord_Johnny]

Hell idk

So I have had a number of great Dominant/submissive relationships (as the Dom), and most, when the time came, ended peaceably and on good terms.
My last Submissive, a married woman, simply dropped off the earth, for all I know. She went on a trip and then poof. *shrugs* I can only assume she decided to discontinue the relationship, so it's been...interesting. I am pretty sure that means I don't have a relationship there. Anymore.

 

[EmpressJosephine]

Or lack-there-of?

We have threads for submissives and dominants, and I think we need something broader. We all know there isn't a "one twue way." This thread is inclusive, so I want to hear about what you identify as and how it works for you. Or even how you don't use labels.

If you have a relationship, how does it work? Do you like it the way it is? Do you want it to change? If you aren't in a relationship, what kind do you want or see yourself having?

...

I never really thought about it before but, I guess if I had to label it, then I'm a:

Bisexual switch polyamorist.


And yes, thank you, I "like it the way it is"!

 

[american_beauty]

I am still exploring and thought I was more of a submissive to put a label to it but a lover, who i would say seemed dominant, told me that I made him weak. Its not easy trying to understand my sexual urges but this forum at least helps me ask better questions of myself

 

[american_beauty]

... ... ... ... ...

 

[Farawyn]

I am still exploring and thought I was more of a submissive to put a label to it but a lover, who i would say seemed dominant, told me that I made him weak. Its not easy trying to understand my sexual urges but this forum at least helps me ask better questions of myself

Weak how? Weak in the knees? Or unable to dominate you?

 

[LucyBee01]

Wow, this is a big question. Here is a stab at an answer. I am an owned and very happy submissive of my Master. Sometimes we organically change gear into Daddy/little girl. We live together and we are pretty much 24/7 with the dynamic as I would describe us as naturally Dominant/submissive, although of course it gets dialled up or down depending on what is going on with real life, etc.
He is also my lover and my friend.

It does amaze me how we found each other - two needles in a haystack - to find our desires and kinks and aims were well matched.

We are poly, seeking a possible third. We also enjoy playing with others from time to time, as Master allows.

 

[SalvDali]

2nd post

Well I posted on here 8 months ago when we began dabbling in kink. We were married for almost 14 years before we really dabbled in anything really kinky. I had fantasies that I didn't have a labels for. I always assumed they were just fantasies that I would never have the chance to actually act out. I was even ashamed of myself at times.

Then I discover my wife is reading erotica about the same fantasies, we watched 50 shades which was only good (for me) because it started the discussions for us that lead us to where we are now. Even hearing her say she wanted the same things as me wasn't enough. 18 years together and I had never even yelled at her before, we really had a leave it to beaver story book marriage. It took me a bit to really want to include her in my fantasies because I had spent so much time feeling like it was some pent up evil inside of me that I needed to contain.

We spent a lot of time laughing at first because it was so awkward. It took her explaining why she wanted me in control for me to be able to begin to seriously try. I had it in my head I couldn't be that way to someone I Loved. I was wrong, I was sooo wrong. I feel so much more connected now and I cant imagine this with someone I didn't Love.

Today if I am to check the boxes that fit me: Rigger, Exhibitionist, Dominant, with a hint of Sadist.

 

[Farawyn]

Well I posted on here 8 months ago when we began dabbling in kink. We were married for almost 14 years before we really dabbled in anything really kinky. I had fantasies that I didn't have a labels for. I always assumed they were just fantasies that I would never have the chance to actually act out. I was even ashamed of myself at times.

Then I discover my wife is reading erotica about the same fantasies, we watched 50 shades which was only good (for me) because it started the discussions for us that lead us to where we are now. Even hearing her say she wanted the same things as me wasn't enough. 18 years together and I had never even yelled at her before, we really had a leave it to beaver story book marriage. It took me a bit to really want to include her in my fantasies because I had spent so much time feeling like it was some pent up evil inside of me that I needed to contain.

We spent a lot of time laughing at first because it was so awkward. It took her explaining why she wanted me in control for me to be able to begin to seriously try. I had it in my head I couldn't be that way to someone I Loved. I was wrong, I was sooo wrong. I feel so much more connected now and I cant imagine this with someone I didn't Love.

Today if I am to check the boxes that fit me: Rigger, Exhibitionist, Dominant, with a hint of Sadist.

This is great, Sal.

 

[SilverBass]

Several years ago I became friends with a woman who I worked with. At the time we were both involved with someone else in long term vanilla relationships that were not altogether bad, but more or less unfulfilling and boring. We bonded as friends and found that we could relate to each other being as our home lives were similar. Down the road a few years, both having ended our previous relationships and leaving our old job, we remained platonic friends but it never went beyond that. I had always been attracted to her but never thought of pursuing her for more than friendship. Perhaps because she never showed signs of being interested in me for anything more than that, and the fact that I had other options. One time as we were texting, she told me that she had become jealous when we were at a large social event (not together, but both there) a few days prior. I had my arms around another woman, and my friend told me that she wished it were her. Well, that got the ball rolling in a big way......

By this time both of our schedules had become very busy and we could only see each other once or twice a week, but we started talking every day and things started to get intimate. At first very vanilla. I mean really we were just happy to be spending time together. We started talking about fantasies and kinky ideas and she may have been the one that first brought up the idea that being a submissive turned her on. Now granted all along she had been submissive already, as that is her nature, and I had been more dominant. She was pretty much ready and willing to do anything I wanted anyway, regardless of titles or roles. In otherwords, our natural disposition pretty much put us halfway into a D/s relationship from the get go. So we both started reading about BDSM and realized that we fell into these roles pretty easily, and we both thought it would be a turn on and a lifestyle that we'd like to take on more seriously. As the Dom I took it upon myself to set the guidelines for how our relationship would play out. Of course I knew of her limitations, of which there were not many, but more importantly by this time I knew what she liked and did not like. So I proposed this new spin on the relationship with her and let her know that if she agreed, my rules, between us, would be binding. She agreed and here we are.

To define us, we are what we call a M/p couple, or Master/pet. Mostly the same but slightly more than D/s, as we have established that not only is she my sub, but I own her as well. Maybe others would define this differently, but this is how we do it. That ownership extends 24/7 and extends into everything she does. With that said, there are still areas in her life in which I do not control, such as her career, family life, finances, and privacy. I also don't risk her safety in any way either. But outside of these areas she is to abide by my rules, do what I say, and act appropriately at all times. But I am not a hard ass. I am gentle and just about everything I plan for her or for both of us is in her best interest. I treat my pet like gold and her comfort is very important to me. There is no sadistic elements in our relationship at all. When I say her I treat her like gold I mean it. She is nothing like a pet that is a dog or a cat, but if I don't want my cat to be uncomfortable then why would I want my human pet to be uncomfortable? So she is always taken care of. With that said, there is no lack in submission that I require. What I say goes, and she knows it. She is a very good girl! Discipline is a rare occurrence with us, mostly because I don't believe in "funishment". The discipline is real and deserved or it is not there, but she is so well behaved that there is rarely a need for it anyway.

 

[Farawyn]

Several years ago I became friends with a woman who I worked with. At the time we were both involved with someone else in long term vanilla relationships that were not altogether bad, but more or less unfulfilling and boring. We bonded as friends and found that we could relate to each other being as our home lives were similar. Down the road a few years, both having ended our previous relationships and leaving our old job, we remained platonic friends but it never went beyond that. I had always been attracted to her but never thought of pursuing her for more than friendship. Perhaps because she never showed signs of being interested in me for anything more than that, and the fact that I had other options. One time as we were texting, she told me that she had become jealous when we were at a large social event (not together, but both there) a few days prior. I had my arms around another woman, and my friend told me that she wished it were her. Well, that got the ball rolling in a big way......

By this time both of our schedules had become very busy and we could only see each other once or twice a week, but we started talking every day and things started to get intimate. At first very vanilla. I mean really we were just happy to be spending time together. We started talking about fantasies and kinky ideas and she may have been the one that first brought up the idea that being a submissive turned her on. Now granted all along she had been submissive already, as that is her nature, and I had been more dominant. She was pretty much ready and willing to do anything I wanted anyway, regardless of titles or roles. In otherwords, our natural disposition pretty much put us halfway into a D/s relationship from the get go. So we both started reading about BDSM and realized that we fell into these roles pretty easily, and we both thought it would be a turn on and a lifestyle that we'd like to take on more seriously. As the Dom I took it upon myself to set the guidelines for how our relationship would play out. Of course I knew of her limitations, of which there were not many, but more importantly by this time I knew what she liked and did not like. So I proposed this new spin on the relationship with her and let her know that if she agreed, my rules, between us, would be binding. She agreed and here we are.

To define us, we are what we call a M/p couple, or Master/pet. Mostly the same but slightly more than D/s, as we have established that not only is she my sub, but I own her as well. Maybe others would define this differently, but this is how we do it. That ownership extends 24/7 and extends into everything she does. With that said, there are still areas in her life in which I do not control, such as her career, family life, finances, and privacy. I also don't risk her safety in any way either. But outside of these areas she is to abide by my rules, do what I say, and act appropriately at all times. But I am not a hard ass. I am gentle and just about everything I plan for her or for both of us is in her best interest. I treat my pet like gold and her comfort is very important to me. There is no sadistic elements in our relationship at all. When I say her I treat her like gold I mean it. She is nothing like a pet that is a dog or a cat, but if I don't want my cat to be uncomfortable then why would I want my human pet to be uncomfortable? So she is always taken care of. With that said, there is no lack in submission that I require. What I say goes, and she knows it. She is a very good girl! Discipline is a rare occurrence with us, mostly because I don't believe in "funishment". The discipline is real and deserved or it is not there, but she is so well behaved that there is rarely a need for it anyway.

SB, thank you! I am nosy and love reading about stuff like this.

Does she wear a bell on her collar?
I like bells.