<.< Predict Their Demise >.>

[Wild_Honey_66]

Falls into an active wood chipper.

Pecked half to death by a flock of geese, then lifted 200 feet in the air and dropped onto a frozen lake.

Canadian geese. Brutal bastards.

 

[Hypoxia]

Pecked half to death by a flock of geese, then lifted 200 feet in the air and dropped onto a frozen lake.

Canadian geese. Brutal bastards.

Devoured by a rampaging herd of Venus fly-traps. They bite.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Devoured by a rampaging herd of Venus fly-traps. They bite.

I see you over there in that fetching white jacket.

Clothespin on your nose. Safety pins through your lips.

 

[Hypoxia]

I see you over there in that fetching white jacket.

Clothespin on your nose. Safety pins through your lips.

Yet I still live, able to semaphore with my eyelids. No, my demise will be more certain. Shoved from the lip of a volcano, maybe. Or forced to listen to political speeches till my brain shrivels.

Ah, but you wander through coastal Oregon after the radiation-laden wind from Fukushima mutates the local Darlingtonia grove. You are devoured by a walking pitcher-plant. Regrets.

 

[ydahecnot]

Falls into a vat of epoxy

 

[jasonmason]

Falls into a vat of epoxy

Chasing Pokémon Go and falls off a cliff.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Chasing Pokémon Go and falls off a cliff.

Drowning in a tub of butter at the Orville factory.

 

[jasonmason]

Drowning in a tub of butter at the Orville factory.

Was it at least Class V butter?

Old age in a hundred years.

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

Drowning in a tub of butter at the Orville factory.

She is going to go too deep!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

She is going to go too deep!

Neverending Stiffy Syndrome after popping too many little blue pills. His bladder bursts and he drowns in his own pee from the inside out.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Yet I still live, able to semaphore with my eyelids. No, my demise will be more certain. Shoved from the lip of a volcano, maybe. Or forced to listen to political speeches till my brain shrivels.

Ah, but you wander through coastal Oregon after the radiation-laden wind from Fukushima mutates the local Darlingtonia grove. You are devoured by a walking pitcher-plant. Regrets.

You like me. I can tell you've been stalking me and therein lies your folly.

Dies lonely and heartbroken after discovering I only have eyes for The Sexy Brits.

(Your semaphoric love letters had no affect on me!)

 

[ydahecnot]

Kills herself when she discovers that all possible thread topics had been taken

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Kills herself when she discovers that all possible thread topics had been taken

Head worked over with a meat tenderizer.

 

[ydahecnot]

Is executed for premeditated crypticness.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Is executed for premeditated crypticness.

Finger or toenail ripped from their bed every ninety seconds.

 

[Hornblende]

Finger or toenail ripped from their bed every ninety seconds.

Drowned in the 'attentions' of sundry Brits...

 

[GiggLeGasm]

Drowned in the 'attentions' of sundry Brits...

His death will be shameful, yet kind
And strange in many a mind
While beneath her thighs
Between several sighs
He'll drown 'twixt the flesh of her thighs

 

[beachbaby179]

His death will be shameful, yet kind
And strange in many a mind
While beneath her thighs
Between several sighs
He'll drown 'twixt the flesh of her thighs

A limerick. Perfect. Hee hee.

She's going to die from never ending hiccups due to giggling.

 

[ydahecnot]

She died waiting for the Devils to win another Stanley Cup

 

[mickyp123]

She died waiting for the Devils to win another Stanley Cup

Died after too long with his head in the clouds

 

[SoulAssasin247]

Died after too long with his head in the clouds

Trying to make unbreakable individuals admit submission, you'll be thrown into the depths of Mount Doom.

 

[Hornblende]

His death will be shameful, yet kind
And strange in many a mind
While beneath her thighs
Between several sighs
He'll drown 'twixt the flesh of her thighs

Just saw this, and laughed. A lot...

 

[mickyp123]

Trying to make unbreakable individuals admit submission, you'll be thrown into the depths of Mount Doom.

He got charred when laughing i threw up the remains of a napalm sandwich

 

[papadoc19]

Weirwood arrow through the eye

 

[BlackCashmere]

Weirwood arrow through the eye

Death by malnutrition...too many drive thrus to Chick-Fil-A, and Arbys...