Fetishes: learned behavior or inherent?

[holliday1960]

I am curious about how others perceive their fetishes. No matter what the fetish might be, do you feel your particular interest was a result of an experience or do you believe some fetishes are inherited? (Before you discount the notion of inherited behaviors, consider your own past and and ancestry.) How do you account for certain affinities or even phobias that seem to have no basis in your own life experiences?

 

[quietlylooking]

I am curious about how others perceive their fetishes. No matter what the fetish might be, do you feel your particular interest was a result of an experience or do you believe some fetishes are inherited? (Before you discount the notion of inherited behaviors, consider your own past and and ancestry.) How do you account for certain affinities or even phobias that seem to have no basis in your own life experiences?

IMHO, I think fetishes are mostly a result of experiences. Sometimes those experiences might be events that happened so long ago or in such different contexts that they might not be obviously linked to the fetish.

 

[holliday1960]

IMHO, I think fetishes are mostly a result of experiences. Sometimes those experiences might be events that happened so long ago or in such different contexts that they might not be obviously linked to the fetish.

Agreed that most are a direct result of experiences; but what about those that are not? In your opinion, is it a coincidence that certain practices that a large number of one family might share the same sexual preferences? (A case in point might be twins separated at birth and adopted to different parents, yet they share a particular fetish with a biological parent, grandparent, etc?

 

[quietlylooking]

Agreed that most are a direct result of experiences; but what about those that are not? In your opinion, is it a coincidence that certain practices that a large number of one family might share the same sexual preferences? (A case in point might be twins separated at birth and adopted to different parents, yet they share a particular fetish with a biological parent, grandparent, etc?

I'd be very interested in seeing the data on this.

 

[ropebunny87]

I am curious about how others perceive their fetishes. No matter what the fetish might be, do you feel your particular interest was a result of an experience or do you believe some fetishes are inherited? (Before you discount the notion of inherited behaviors, consider your own past and and ancestry.) How do you account for certain affinities or even phobias that seem to have no basis in your own life experiences?

Such an interesting idea!! I think that just like our personalities it can be a combination of genetics and environment (that whole "nurture vs nature").

I was raised on a household where sex was taboo, and when it came to pain it was a "shake it off" mentality...did that have anything to do with what I enjoy? No clue.

But I have come to learn a high sex drive runs in my family (speaking biologically now)...all the women just have high sex drives, and my cousin and I had a great conversation where we learned we're both into a LOT of the same things.

This would be an interesting study to do....anyone need a thesis topic??

 

[holliday1960]

I think a lot of us would be interested in seeing data on this. (At least those of us who are fascinated by human psychology. Like ropebunny, in my family, the women have high sex drives. But, it is ironic how they share the same interests sexually speaking. None of us knew it until one made an off-hand comment and the rest of us spun our heads in response. LOL Apparently, it has covered more than 5 generations after more in depth investigation on the matter. Also, should point out, one of my parents was adopted, and we learned that the biological grandparent (my great-grandparent) had the same traits. So far, we have been unable to trace any further back than that. So, what do you think folks? Thanks for the posts.

 

[Green_Knight]

I would say that most sexual behaviour is a matter of experience and environment, some is inherited, and some is - I don't know.

To deal with the last point first, I was thinking of something like asexuality. That can hardly be inherited, or the asexual person wouldn't exist, but can it really be the result of experience or environment?

A quick look on the internet throws up an article in the respected Nature magazine in 2006 on a genetic influence on sexual desire. "A team of scientists in Israel looked at a gene known as the dopamine D4 receptor (DRD4), which partly controls the brain's response to dopamine, a chemical often associated with the body's 'pleasure system'. Scientists know that this neurotransmitter can control sexual behaviour in animals and humans, and that dopamine circuits help to create the drive for things such as sex, drugs and food."

The team found that students with one particular version of the gene scored roughly 5% lower, on average, in sexual desire than those with an alternative gene variant; a small but statistically meaningful difference. Around 70% of the population carry the low-arousal version and some 20% carry the high-arousal version of the gene.

One problem is, though, that dopamine has many functions in our brain that influence our behaviour. The article says that there is some evidence that the DRD4 gene is linked to novelty-seeking, so the people who crave more sex might simply be the type that craves more excitement generally. Also, dopamine may influence how sharply the brain reacts to sexually arousing stimuli and prompts bodily reactions such as an erection.

Alcoholism and other forms of addictive behaviour are another area in which there is an experience versus inherited debate. Studies have shown that half the risk of developing alcoholism may be down to genes but by no means all children of alcoholics go on to become alcoholics themselves, so it's far from straightforward.

 

[RawHumor]

One problem is, though, that dopamine has many functions in our brain that influence our behaviour.

That's a good post. A lady friend and I both get turned on when we make each other laugh.

This is an interesting topic for discussion. I've often viewed fetishes much like phobias. Typically, there's an event that you can trace it back to. Other times, it is learned behavior from a parent or someone similar.

Is any of it genetic? I would assume some is... but I'm thinking mostly not. I've been wrong before, however.

 

[Green_Knight]

...A lady friend and I both get turned on when we make each other laugh...

There's probably the basis for a whole PhD thesis in that one sentence. I've always believed that if you can make a woman laugh, you're at least halfway to fucking her.

 

[beingtrue2me]

Very interesting topic. I have two different thoughts. I have a thing for leather and boots. I know when and how it started. Once I started riding a mc it developed from there. That's easy to explain. Not so easy is the one my ex had. He had an intense fetish for women that smoke. So much so that I made a deal with him that I would smoke if he promised to not pursue it online. Thing is, no one in his family smoked and I never knew where or how he developed such a fetish. I just knew that I hated him watching stuff online with a passion.

 

[holliday1960]

No doubt that dopamine affects how we feel in more than one way. So does serotonin. But, in my own case, I have a low tolerance for pain, and an even lower tolerance for pain meds. I have always found that when I dont feel well, sex does make me feel better. This must have something to do with hormone levels. I am not, however, one who seeks excitement in general. I've never been a thrill seeker.
Let's take this a bit further...regarding something almost insignificant...I have a saying that I use often, but only with certain people. My spouse has heard me say it many times, but yet my mother has never heard me say it. I inadvertently said it to my spouse in front of my mother one day. My mother looked shocked and turned white. She informed me, "Your father used to say that to me all the time!" It could not have been learned behavior as I never had contact with my father. (My parents divorced just after I was born and there was no contact after that.)
Additionally, another family member who never knew my father and was born long after he was deceased, uses the exact same expression, and for the same purpose,which they have never heard me say either.
As I said, it sounds almost insignificant, except that these other traits, such as fetishes are not common. Some are quite unique. And so far, we have been unable to connect them to learned behavior of experience.

 

[Green_Knight]

...Thing is, no one in his family smoked and I never knew where or how he developed such a fetish...

It may not have been anyone in his family. Someone who he worked with perhaps, a friend of the family or neighbour, or even a film star from way back. Even a passing glimpse can sometimes be enough to start things going.

I remember, years ago, seeing a girl in the street in Germany. She was wearing a summery top and stopped to put her rucksack on her back, raising her arms in order to do so. That revealed unshaved armpits, made even more wonderful by the fact that her hair was extremely dark. That was all it took.

 

[beingtrue2me]

It may not have been anyone in his family. Someone who he worked with perhaps, a friend of the family or neighbour, or even a film star from way back. Even a passing glimpse can sometimes be enough to start things going.

I remember, years ago, seeing a girl in the street in Germany. She was wearing a summery top and stopped to put her rucksack on her back, raising her arms in order to do so. That revealed unshaved armpits, made even more wonderful by the fact that her hair was extremely dark. That was all it took.

Whatever it was, it made a lasting impression and it got out of hand. He was looking at videos all the time of women smoking, joined a couple sites that he even had to pay to join and almost got to the point we couldn't have sex without him talking about it. I had enough and gave in and made him that deal.

Me - I can do without my thing for leather it just makes it sexier for me but my ex was in deep with his. Fetishes are a very interesting thing to even try and understand.

 

[panchro]

I knew a guy who cross-dressed sometimes. As far as I know he was completely heterosexual. His wife was aware of it and it was part of their sex life.

He learned that his son was cross-dressing at about 15. As far as he knew, his son had never seen him in women's panties. Nurture or nature?

 

[wdbtchr]

I guess I'm on the side of nurture over nature. My family never discussed anything sexual, but the kinky things I experimented with are born out of my early dabbling in anything sexual and the results that brought me pleasure.

Add on: Think back to how you triggered your very first orgasm. Mine would have been called sounding now days.

 

[bear175]

My parents and sibling never uttered a word about sex so it's hard for me to know where my fetishes come from as some came very early.
The one thing I remember is catching up my father masturbating on lingerie advertisements in the catalogue of a well known chain store. That was long before internet.
But I guess a family that puts their fetishes on the table ends up getting off to them together then ...

 

[boredpisces]

I can honestly say that I had detailed fantasies of a sexual nature before I even knew what sex was. You can call it genetic, instinct, or I've even heard "memories of a past life," but I don't think there's any reason fetishes can't be the same. As with anything, it probably has more to do with actual experience, but I would contend that a fetish is a personality trait you can be born with like any other.

 

[CuttingEdge]

I grew up in a VERY conservative home, and despite that I know my brother, myself and my father share the fetish of enjoying a barefoot woman. Now I am not sure why, but as conservative as we were in our home, it would suggest some sort of genetic twist. I am not sure, or maybe it was just subtle inferences that my dad made towards a barefooted woman that I never actually picked up on.

One of my most early memories of this enjoyment was sitting in back of church where I did the sound control. One of the prettiest woman at church happened to be sitting in the back row with heels that hurt her feet. Only a few minutes into the service and I she took them off. To this day that memory is etched in my mind, but I liked the barefoot look long before that day.

 

[Funnbrandy]

Oldest argument.....

This is a classic nature vs. nurture argument.....so I think it's safe to say that it's a little of both, but for every person it's probably different, some people are just more inclined to have certain fetishes while others have positive experiences with them and learn to love them......either way it's one of the oldest arguments in the book, lol

 

[holliday1960]

I would like to thank everyone for some interesting input on the subject. I think we all agree that MOST fetishes are learned or from pleasant experiences we have encountered, however, I am seeing on the board that many of you do agree that there is a strong likelihood some could be inherited.
I particularly liked the suggestion that some people feel certain fetishes may even stem from past-life memories. This is certainly a possible answer, if a bit out of mainstream thinking.
I would like to expound on that notion for a moment. In Christianity, most of us have heard the quotation regarding "the sins of the father are visited upon the son", and I believe that continues on to say for 7 generations.
Is it possible that what was meant by that was, simply put, that DNA imprints, whether dominant or recessive, can and do surface for up to 7 generations? (Somewhat like in animal husbandry when 7 generations are required to develop a "new breed"?) Is it not only possible, but likely, that we retain certain tastes, or even memories which "feel" comfortable to us because they are imprinted in the genes we inherit from our ancestors up to 7 generations back?
Is it plausible that what we think of as "past lives" and the memories we think we may have from a previous life are nothing more than the memories of our ancestors that are somehow imprinted in the DNA we inherit?
Please keep your ideas and opinions coming ladies and gents. I appreciate hearing them.