So what happened to Fetlife?

[kimuk]

I was having a browse last night. I used to be a Fetlife member years ago so thought I'd rejoin. Says it's not accepting new members. There is a little info on the net about a "meat list" security leak. But can't find any statement about it from Fetlife it's self.

So what happened?

 

[MeekMe]

Attack of the spambots. There's been a high number of new accounts posting links to viruses so FL has stopped accepting new members until they can find a solution to the problem.

People not reading the thread have prompted my edit.

FL isn't invite only anymore. You can sign up as you like. FL now doesn't allow certain kinks to be discussed and you'll have to look through the thread to find it because I'm too lazy to do the work for you.

 

[kimuk]

Thanks for the info

 

[RawHumor]

I hadn't heard about that. Interesting.

 

[Miles Long]

Did you tell them you're not a bot?

 

[kimuk]

Maybe I am

 

[RawHumor]

Maybe I am

http://application.denofgeek.com/pics/film/50ai/35.jpg




Changed the pic.

 

[Miles Long]

I like to see girls of that... calibre.

 

[jonnysimple]

I like to see girls of that... calibre.

Oh wow LOL

 

[MeekMe]

This seems appropriate here because many of us suggest FetLife as a resource for information and finding local events for kinksters.

So here's an update about signing up:

FetLife is now invite only. Not every member will be able to give out invites and invites are limited based on how much money a member has poured into the site. If you don't have a membership already, I'm not really sure how you will be able to sign up. Given that it is no longer an easily accessed resource, we may want to stop directing people there. Or at least let them know they'll have to find an invitation.

This new system is also not fully planned out or implemented yet. Maybe things will change as they work it out.

 

[cookiecat]

This is really too bad. Thanks for the info.

 

[LucyBee01]

This seems appropriate here because many of us suggest FetLife as a resource for information and finding local events for kinksters.

So here's an update about signing up:

FetLife is now invite only. Not every member will be able to give out invites and invites are limited based on how much money a member has poured into the site. If you don't have a membership already, I'm not really sure how you will be able to sign up. Given that it is no longer an easily accessed resource, we may want to stop directing people there. Or at least let them know they'll have to find an invitation.

This new system is also not fully planned out or implemented yet. Maybe things will change as they work it out.

Oh gosh, I hope they change that system. I don't know if I would have ever discovered and got to my first munch without joining FetLife

 

[MeekMe]

Oh gosh, I hope they change that system. I don't know if I would have ever discovered and got to my first munch without joining FetLife

This seems to be a major concern among members. I'm thinking it won't last long as event organizers start leaving. I signed up when the local club website directed people from their own site to FL in order to see event plans and get more info. If they can no longer direct new members to FL to collect that info, I suspect they will use FL less and start working on their own site content or moving to a more accessible platform.

 

[CutieMouse]

This seems to be a major concern among members. I'm thinking it won't last long as event organizers start leaving. I signed up when the local club website directed people from their own site to FL in order to see event plans and get more info. If they can no longer direct new members to FL to collect that info, I suspect they will use FL less and start working on their own site content or moving to a more accessible platform.

Yep.

Ultimately there will be growth, but the growth may not happen on Fet.

I am amazed that this was the best solution to deal with spammers, phishers and viruses. I get that the site grew faster than anticipated, but instead of biting the bullet and dealing with site security when there was "only" 100,000 members, they prioritized other things... Aaaaaannnnnd here we are.

Invitations will be rolled out to members first (1 for every 2 months of membership); they're using that to "test" the idea, then they'll roll it out to non members or something. The site will still make money (it might make more if all the non-members decide they want/need memberships to pass on invitations), but the spammers/etc? They'll find a work-around. It's what they do.

 

[MeekMe]

Yep.

Ultimately there will be growth, but the growth may not happen on Fet.

I am amazed that this was the best solution to deal with spammers, phishers and viruses. I get that the site grew faster than anticipated, but instead of biting the bullet and dealing with site security when there was "only" 100,000 members, they prioritized other things... Aaaaaannnnnd here we are.

Invitations will be rolled out to members first (1 for every 2 months of membership); they're using that to "test" the idea, then they'll roll it out to non members or something. The site will still make money (it might make more if all the non-members decide they want/need memberships to pass on invitations), but the spammers/etc? They'll find a work-around. It's what they do.

That's 3 invites per 6 months of paid membership with a max of 24 invites. Non-paying members will eventually receive the ability to invite, but it will be less than paid members. Some members may not receive the ability to invite at all. This is all part of the plan, I guess we'll see what happens.

Given that there likely are better solutions to the spammer problem, I think it has more to do with trying to boost paid memberships. Which is fine with me, I don't have any actual links to the community or reason to invite people, so this doesn't affect me really and I have no problem dropping the site like a brick if it no longer entertains me. d(^_^o)

 

[CutieMouse]

Given that there likely are better solutions to the spammer problem, I think it has more to do with trying to boost paid memberships. Which is fine with me, I don't have any actual links to the community or reason to invite people, so this doesn't affect me really and I have no problem dropping the site like a brick if it no longer entertains me. d(^_^o)

Yep; that's my assessment, too. They needed to find a way to slow down membership, because at some point exponential growth becomes a bad thing... But as soon as I saw the announcement, I was wondering how long it would take an enterprising hacker to get through whatever system they're putting in place to make membership "invitation only".

 

[Miles Long]

I had no idea all this was happening! Guess I need to check my Fet announcements more often. I have a hard time seeing the invitation only thing being a good idea. It feels like it will really cut off people from signing up, which eventually means everyone will want to go find a new site. And I agree with CM, the spammers will eventually find a way around it simply because they have nothing better to do than keep trying until they figure it out.

 

[MeekMe]

Checking Fet Announcements wouldn't have helped much. The owner only made an official announcement after a couple of weeks of people finding out no new members could sign up (there was only a message on the sign up page saying this so members continued to spread the word and then found out after the fact that their friends couldn't actually sign up) and immediately going to post in all the Fet specific groups asking why. Also, I'm sure he got quite a few messages asking.

The money theory makes sense more and more. There was a recent change in advertising on the site shortly before they cut off new memberships. The spammers seem to have been just a really convenient excuse. :shrugs:

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[MeekMe]

I've been a member of a paid membership online site in fact targeted by spammers after it went paid membership only. We have a membership at fetlife which is all but unused, I signed up to see something sold by a member here. It's not unreasonable to want to make a living from a website, my guess is it would take time, effort and a considerable amount of mental space, but if I were a fetlife user I would be more comfortable if it is the case, that it were address candidly, even with a positive spin. I think those who like it probably like it enough to contribute a small amount? The invite only thing is a shame, because it will limit people finding there way to kink, and potentially be seen as 'poaching' from other sites rather than having cross over in user base. I imagine some might like the 'exclusivity' aspect though.

As alluded to, maybe some good alternatives will be born out of this.

I don't think it's unreasonable to make money from the site. They already make money from it. Lots of people already contribute money to the site in exchange for special privileges like viewing videos and having some extra features on their profile. With the newest change (FL is known for making useless changes and never addressing bigger issues) some long time supporters have decided to no longer pay. Some people love this new change. Most people have no clue or don't care.

I'm of the not really caring crowd. I didn't pay before, and the changes won't get me to pay. The perks that come with a paid membership are all things that wouldn't enhance my experience. Also, even if my account is allowed invites, I don't plan to use them.

 

[CutieMouse]

It feels like I'm gossiping by thinking-out-loud here, instead of Fet... Like I'm at a party standing in the kitchen talk about someone in the living room...

Anyway!

The sociology-nerd in me is watching the changes at Fet unfold with interest. Interesting points of view on all sides -

A) it's JB's site; he gets to do anything he damn well pleases
B) the sky is falling/this we are witnessing the death throes of Fet
C) must! protect! The Lifestyle!

I kinda agree with A - it's Baku's baby, his money, time & business model. I may question the decision, but I also acknowledge there are factors involved I do not understand because it's not my baby.

I very much see the view of B, mostly because C. And C is where my real concern lies. I understand people found ways to find kink long befor the interwebz was invented. TES and SOJ were around when websites were just a twinkle in some dude's eye. But how people used to find "community" however one defines it), isn't how "community" is found, today. Most of the local groups/organizations depend on Fet to make announcements and/or recruit new members. A lot of people have no idea there are groups & organizations out there, and Fet is their first exposure to the concept of a "kink community".

It becomes a chicken/egg thing; a symbiotic relationship, which I'm sure will eventually be sorted out.

But the thing that is really concerning to me, is the number of posts and writings I'm seeing over there, that talk of this change (even temporarily) being a good move because now we can ensure people are "serious" about BDSM".

How does one define "serious about BDSM", and who gets to decide what qualifies? I don't go to munches. I loathe public dungeons. I (snobbishly, I admit) see a strong % of "lifestylers" as kinky D&D players with whom I have little in common. I own a grand total of TWO toys, and that's only because my lover thought they might be fun. [They are.] I've been tied up exactly 4 times; 3 of them put me off bondage for years. I don't use titles, and approach people as equals in all settings - creating the assumption "domme" the few times I did try to explore in the local scene. I keep my kink private; I don't even have any fetishes listed on my Fet profile because unless you're in my bed its none of your damn business.

From the outside looking in, I could easily be seen as not serious".

Yet my relationships revolve around D/s. I lean towards TPE/CNC (with the right partner). I am who I am (what I am) 24/7 regardless of status - single, partnered, poly, monogamous.

I can't think of a way anyone could create a litmus test for someone like me. And the more I see posts and writings about the changes being a good thing, that the website needs a way to vet people, that we need to ensure the right sort of people are joining... The more I question where people like me, who already feel marganilized by "the scene", will fit in.

Fet can close ranks and wrap the website with a kinky white picket fence, but it won't eliminate the cyber-stalkers, spam-bots, pay-for-play, virus-laden posts. Those people will always find a way. But it will make it harder for people like me to make a positive difference in an online community.

 

[MeekMe]

I agree with you, CutieMouse. I certainly wouldn't be considered serious enough to make it into the ranks of the elite kinksters. I just read a post suggesting new members fill out an application with a community leader reference. Lmao, because that's how we know they're for serious guys.

Just posting a bit of an update, again. It seems that they are allowing new members to submit their information to be put on a "waiting list." The message indicates they will only allow a certain number in each day but there's no word on how many or even when this will actually take place. There's been no official announcement and instead this was discovered randomly by a member. There's no word on how they decide on who gets in, how many, or when this will actually happen.

I guess that's going to be their solution for new people without contacts for invites.

Funny side note: I happen to be kinky AND I play tabletop RPGs. o(^▽^)o

 

[MichelleInAsia]

Finally joined up with that site a couple months ago. Seems good but activity seems to go in waves. For a couple weeks swamped with 30 new people messaging you a day and then a couple weeks where it's 2-3 a week if that.

Not seen any bots but then tend to use it to chat to just a handful of sane people and have a giggle at some odd inbox stuff

 

[richard_daily]

Yep.

Ultimately there will be growth, but the growth may not happen on Fet.

I am amazed that this was the best solution to deal with spammers, phishers and viruses. I get that the site grew faster than anticipated, but instead of biting the bullet and dealing with site security when there was "only" 100,000 members, they prioritized other things... Aaaaaannnnnd here we are.

Invitations will be rolled out to members first (1 for every 2 months of membership); they're using that to "test" the idea, then they'll roll it out to non members or something. The site will still make money (it might make more if all the non-members decide they want/need memberships to pass on invitations), but the spammers/etc? They'll find a work-around. It's what they do.

Why does there need to be growth?

We're an outlier... on the fringes.

I have no need to have every tom, dick, and harriette pretend that they "get it" by exploring something that doesn't call to them.

That's not to say that I'm against the dabblers... but I don't think that kink needs to be any more accessible. If people are interested in anything off of the beaten track in regards to sexualities, the internet makes it very easy to find whatever it is your heart desires... "growing community" just waters down the quality of the pool.

As such, Fetlife has been overrun with normal, boring people that want threesomes and anal, and think that's "kink", and with a personal pet peve, people who think that submission is "a gift".

That's why I've pretty much stopped using it.

 

[MeekMe]

We're going to need special badges soon to prove we're quality enough for the pool.

Anyway, since this is at the top again, here's an update!

Looks like new members can join with a text message verification.

...kinksters will be asked to verify themselves through a one-time anonymous text message if they weren’t invited by another member of the community.

This process isn't necessary for those that receive an invite. There's been concern over how the site recognizes numbers for different countries, but overall this seems to be the process and it doesn't appear to be horribly inconvenient.

Also, that invite for auction on eBay didn't sell.