Buddy lists: do people actually use them?

[Freya_Gin]

Because I've been on various forums for years and if anyone ever added me to their buddy list, I didn't know it. I'm not sure if that means no one uses that feature or if I should feel sorry for myself.

 

[Blue]

I've never paid any attention to buddy lists or friends lists either.
But now I'm also wondering if I was ever on anybody's buddy list and if they ever expected me to re-buddy them or something, and did I hurt their feelings because of it?
Oh dear Vishnu, the moral dilemma is real!

Well, I'll always have my sock puppets for when I'm lonely.

 

[Endless_Night]

I use them.
It helps me to find users I want to talk to again and at a glance I can see if any of them are on line.

Also... If I ever decide to turn off my PMs...an idea that I variously consider... anyone on my "buddy list" would not be effected.

I also use the ignore feature.

Curious. Presumably they only show up on the Buddy List if they have themselves enabled to show up if they're online?

 

[seela]

I've never added anybody on my buddy list, never really used ignore either. I put somebody on iggy once, but it was a brief affair, because I thought it was easier to just not read their posts and the iggy made the board look all choppy.

The buddy list I only found about a year ago and didn't understand what it was until it was explained to me. It's very rare I get a PM from someone I don't already interact with on the boards, and it's not even a weekly affair to get one even from the people I interact with, so I guess I see no need for a buddy list. Besides a lot people seem to use the invisible mode, in which case I wouldn't be able to tell if they're online anyways.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[midwestyankee]

When I first joined Lit the Buddy List was more robust than it is now. As I recall, it was very easy to see who among your Buddy List was online without even going to your Control Panel to do so. I honestly don't recall precisely how it worked but I do remember that the site did an upgrade of its bulletin board software in 2004 or 2005 that eliminated the one feature of the Buddy List that I appreciated. I stopped adding people to my list then and I haven't looked at it in years. Chances are, most of the people on my list haven't posted in the last five years or more.

I wish I could add more to the conversation but my memory on this is a tad vague.

 

[UrbanBohemian]

I put people I like on mine but I've never actually used it. I use invisible mode most of the time so I don't know if there's much use in putting me on one. I have more people on that than my ignore list (which I call my "Bye Felicia!" list) but the ignore list is the one that has an actual function. I've been on sites where it did serve a real function though. And you could see whose lists you were on too. So that was cool. But here, I don't know... I've never actually checked. It's not hard to figure out who'd be on mine (at least one has posted here) but I just don't use it for some reason. A lot of my friends always appear offline so I don't know what I'd use it for anyway.

Generally, though, yeah... I do think they can serve a purpose. Ironically the most functional one I remember was on AOL for Instant Messenger back in the day.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Denny

Some forums we are on there are friends lists. Here it's a buddy list. I noticed new members where the friend list is seem to want friends even when they never comment or share anything.
I basically just ignore those lists.
But why do members us the invisible mode and yet keep commenting. We know you are here.
To me being friendly and knowing who's on line makes it more fun.
Seems 50% are now invisible yet are the most active members here.

What a tangled web we weave!

 

[seela]

But why do members us the invisible mode and yet keep commenting. We know you are here.
To me being friendly and knowing who's on line makes it more fun.
Seems 50% are now invisible yet are the most active members here.

What a tangled web we weave!

I don't think being invisible means not being friendly.

I just don't like to get cyber sex PMs from random people, and I used to get those before I started to use the invisible mode. Now that I'm invisible, nearly all of the random PMs I get are about something I have posted rather than being about my being female. I much prefer it this way. Not that I get the random PMs that often anymore in the first place.

Although I realize that now that I have a lot more incredibly boring and incredibly unsexy posts under my belt, I probably wouldn't get the cyber sex PMs that often anymore.

In short, I wouldn't mind people knowing I'm online. I mind people seeing my screen name on the list of people who are online and interpreting that as an invite to send cyber sex invitations. It got old fast.

 

[cascadiabound]

I don't think being invisible means not being friendly.

I just don't like to get cyber sex PMs from random people, and I used to get those before I started to use the invisible mode. Now that I'm invisible, nearly all of the random PMs I get are about something I have posted rather than being about my being female. I much prefer it this way. Not that I get the random PMs that often anymore in the first place.

Although I realize that now that I have a lot more incredibly boring and incredibly unsexy posts under my belt, I probably wouldn't get the cyber sex PMs that often anymore.

In short, I wouldn't mind people knowing I'm online. I mind people seeing my screen name on the list of people who are online and interpreting that as an invite to send cyber sex invitations. It got old fast.

Exactly this.
The random cyber sex come on PM s from people who I'd never seen before but just messaged me because they could see I was here got old.
I'm perfectly happy to interact with people about things I actually post about or if I know you from the boards. Just not random sex pickups.
Being here in invisible mode has nothing to do with how "friendly" I am.