Vanilla?!?

[anthilly]

Due to an argument with someone, I'm reaching out to the experts on the fetish forum. Let us touch tips and fondle our way to an answer. What is vanilla sex. What acts are included in the reach of this definition. Remember this is scientific so lets just not answer but explain at least a little bit of our answer.

I consider vanilla to be this.

1. Two Party Sex, MF/MM/FF/
2. Blow jobs/ Hand jobs/ Cunnilingus
3. Beginner Sexual Positions.
4. Vaginal and Anal sex
5. Mutual masturbation

Things that may be vanilla now.

1. Light Bondage
2. Toys

If you agree or if you disagree, speak now and be heard!

 

[makemewet69]

Due to an argument with someone, I'm reaching out to the experts on the fetish forum. Let us touch tips and fondle our way to an answer. What is vanilla sex. What acts are included in the reach of this definition. Remember this is scientific so lets just not answer but explain at least a little bit of our answer.

I consider vanilla to be this.

1. Two Party Sex, MF/MM/FF/
2. Blow jobs/ Hand jobs/ Cunnilingus
3. Beginner Sexual Positions.
4. Vaginal and Anal sex
5. Mutual masturbation

Things that may be vanilla now.

1. Light Bondage
2. Toys

If you agree or if you disagree, speak now and be heard!

For me, I don't consider anal vanilla. I suppose because I've never had it is why I disagree there.

 

[CharlieGG]

Makemewet just hit on what i think is the definition of "vanilla" sex. It's the "same ol'" and so it's different for each person.

The OP defined a blowjob as "vanilla" but do you remember the first time you got a blowjob? That was most definitely NOT vanilla!

Again, I define vanilla as whatever is "standard" for someone within a relationship. For example, I've known couples who only have sex doggy style. That's the way they both like it, that's how they do it, that's fine, for them super "vanilla"

I know other guy friends who would KILL to fuck their wife doggy-style but she's not really into it, so she only gives it up that way rarely. For those guys, doggy-style sex is not "vanilla" it's a real treat.

 

[ProfQ1955]

Vanilla sex would be doing the same moves over and over because it was comfortable for both partners.

 

[OkraeaterGuy]

I would say...

...for most vanilla sex would me, missionary position, procreation type sex. Oral sex, etc. would be like one sex manual called it "the sauces and pickles" of sex.

 

[Carnevil9]

Vanilla sex would be anything that doesn't feel dirty.

 

[Hypoxia]

"Sex is filthy and disgusting, but only if you do it right." --Woody Allen

Vanilla sex is thus wrong sex.

Neapolitan is OK.

 

[anthilly]

"Sex is filthy and disgusting, but only if you do it right." --Woody Allen

Vanilla sex is thus wrong sex.

Neapolitan is OK.

Lol I like that, Mr. Allen had it right!

 

[anthilly]

As almost everyone has said vanilla is what people are comfortable with, but what i was thinking that might not have been expressed clearly was this. What is the common denominator of vanilla sex. Sex is different with all of us, but their should be some commonality between our opinions. Maybe a poll is in order?

 

[Iceprincess12]

Due to an argument with someone, I'm reaching out to the experts on the fetish forum. Let us touch tips and fondle our way to an answer. What is vanilla sex. What acts are included in the reach of this definition. Remember this is scientific so lets just not answer but explain at least a little bit of our answer.

I consider vanilla to be this.

1. Two Party Sex, MF/MM/FF/
2. Blow jobs/ Hand jobs/ Cunnilingus
3. Beginner Sexual Positions.
4. Vaginal and Anal sex
5. Mutual masturbation

Things that may be vanilla now.

1. Light Bondage
2. Toys

If you agree or if you disagree, speak now and be heard!

I put vanilla as beginner sex but I think it's more a sense that sex is for procreation and any pleasure is a secondary concern.

 

[suckonsimon]

I voted something else. Because the list doesn't work. Vanilla is sex with limited expectations. For some people that's fine, and all they want. More commonly the term expresses one person's disappointment in another's limited range in delivering sexual satisfaction.

 

[Tomahawk26]

As almost everyone has said vanilla is what people are comfortable with, but what i was thinking that might not have been expressed clearly was this. What is the common denominator of vanilla sex. Sex is different with all of us, but their should be some commonality between our opinions. Maybe a poll is in order?

I don't know, I think "kinky" and "vanilla" are really so subjective that it's pretty hard to come to a consensus on what such terms truly connote. Someone's who kinkier than me might call my sex life vanilla, while someone more vanilla than me would call it kinky. For what it's worth, when I think "vanilla" I think no frills, no fantasies explored kind of sex.

 

[anthilly]

I voted something else. Because the list doesn't work. Vanilla is sex with limited expectations. For some people that's fine, and all they want. More commonly the term expresses one person's disappointment in another's limited range in delivering sexual satisfaction.

Very nicely put simon, I've always loved your insight to things. You've provided me with alot of help when I first showed up here, even if you don't remember lol. It does often become the "bad" word when we talk about sex lives. I don't want something that can be as sensual between two people as the traditional sex roles to become a bad thing. The poll isn't perfect, I wish the details could be clearer but we are dealing with public opinion and that is never simple. Since having my discussion with my friend on the topic I want to see what the masses opinion of "vanilla" was. I guess it could have been phrased as "main-stream" and would have been valid also. It's always interesting to see what people think on a topic and it's even better when you get a response that you didn't expect!

 

[Tomahawk26]

I think "mainstream" is a good word--I think there's kind of a negative connotation to the word "vanilla."

 

[anthilly]

I think "mainstream" is a good word--I think there's kind of a negative connotation to the word "vanilla."

I'm starting to agree, and for your earlier post. This is true, that's why I wanted to find the base line. Then I was going to see what the base line for Kinky was. Think of this as a census for sexual opinions.

 

[suckonsimon]

anthilly, thanks for your reply to mine. Appreciated!
I was critical of the options list. But overall your thread has got me and others thinking and having good goes at expressing an answer to the question!

... btw everything about your profile is great. I love your 'profile pic' and I know that feeling!

 

[Hypoxia]

Yes, all quite subjective.

Try this: vanilla sex is comfortable sex.

Thus, non-vanilla sex strains muscles and breaks stuff.

Unless you're comfortable with that.

Which is kinky.

 

[anthilly]

anthilly, thanks for your reply to mine. Appreciated!
I was critical of the options list. But overall your thread has got me and others thinking and having good goes at expressing an answer to the question!

... btw everything about your profile is great. I love your 'profile pic' and I know that feeling!

Ya gonna make a guy blush simon sheish lol. But thank you, you've helped alot of people on lit with a kind word and some well articulated advice.

 

[anthilly]

Yes, all quite subjective.

Try this: vanilla sex is comfortable sex.

Thus, non-vanilla sex strains muscles and breaks stuff.

Unless you're comfortable with that.

Which is kinky.

LOL that is kinda kinky. That will be the next poll, were gonna figure out where our kinks average out on the public opinion thread.

 

[thesweetsweetness]

You have to remember that the population that you are poling is all here on Lit. I tend to think that those of us who have found the forms and actually post here are already the kinkier bunch of the general population at large.

 

[anthilly]

OH I count on it, but if you don't know how to Kink how can you have an opinion on what is and isn't kinky

 

[anthilly]

Bumping it to the main page.

 

[screwher]

To me 'vanilla' is when sex becomes obligatory. A married couple whose sex life has been reduced to Saturday night missionary in the dark.

 

[Funnbrandy]

Agreed...

To me 'vanilla' is when sex becomes obligatory. A married couple whose sex life has been reduced to Saturday night missionary in the dark.

Vanilla is a relative term....if your first time with a new partner was 10 minutes of missionary in the dark it could still be exciting, but 10 minutes of missionary in the dark with a long term partner could be boring....it's not the act that's vanilla, it's the passion behind it....

 

[lynn-23]

Vanilla is a relative term....if your first time with a new partner was 10 minutes of missionary in the dark it could still be exciting, but 10 minutes of missionary in the dark with a long term partner could be boring....it's not the act that's vanilla, it's the passion behind it....

I agree with this. We have been married 7 years, sex all the time. Still just plain missionary at night in our bed can be the most erotic and wonderful. If you are always having to push boundaries to get a thrill, I think you are missing out on a lot of what can make sex so wonderful.