New and a bit confused

[CutieMouse]

Yep.



What does that to you?

The man just... does. There's no logical explanation, no specific act, no particular anything. It just works [in and out of the bedroom].

 

[hooterbif]

The man just... does. There's no logical explanation, no specific act, no particular anything. It just works [in and out of the bedroom].

Fantastic. Congratulations!

 

[SpunThings]

Yep.



What does that to you?

That's a better question for your partner, as everyone is different.

 

[_Necrosomantic_]

After reading people's responses versus your answers, two things spring to mind. ( and please don't think I'm piling on you. )

1. She is begging for YOU to take things in the proper direction and wants little to no prior knowledge, as spontaneity seems to be a huge part of what she desires. This is not uncommon in the least ( everyone encounters it at some point ) and not something that is hard to understand, as even the best sex can become unfulfilling when it becomes routine.

2. You need to have a good long think about what she's said vs. what you have done. There seems to already be a high bar of stimulus going on in your encounters and, at face value, it is what you believe is complicating things. However, what you have done instead of finding the deeper meaning in the desires she has expressed, is opted to repeat the same situation attempting to recapture the feeling/energy that original experience had ( which is a mistake ). You are her boyfriend now and want to become her Dom, neither of which can be properly performed while chasing past novelties she experienced one time with a third party. That's something you can't do and should stop focusing on.

( And I mean this facetiously )
" Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact... same fucking thing... over and over again expecting... shit to change... That. Is. Crazy."

Instead, aim to surpass that experience.

 

[hooterbif]

After reading people's responses versus your answers, two things spring to mind. ( and please don't think I'm piling on you. )

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I agree with what you have said; however, I believe that surprise is a subset of what she really craves - to be controlled.

Consider what happened yesterday. She was at work. I started texting her (see below). At the end of the text, we had a very hot session. She loved it.


Tonight I will have you under my control.
Thank you Daddy
take your butt plug
out of your purse
clothespins too
Yes Daddy
plug in the hitachi but make sure it stays hidden
Yes
put the ball gag in the drawer
Yes Daddy
put a blind fold in the drawer
Yes Daddy
put the butt plug and clothespins in the drawer
Yes Daddy
You are going to be my cumslut tonight.
Yes Daddy
Daddy can I take a bath right now please?
Yes, it was just a matter of timing.
I was going to tell you to do that, and if now is a good time, then that's good.
Yes now I think is good
When you are done, put the butt plug in your ass. Take a picture and send it to me.
If it's ok with you
Yes, take a bath now.
Yes Daddy
I don't know exactly when I will be ready to address you tonight, maybe 10.
At that time, I want you to be in crotchless panties and that tight bustier, if that is what you call it.
Put on your whore makeup.
Yes Daddy
You are going to have to be very quiet tonight
so that nobody catches us.
It's our secret little girl.
If you want this to keep happening, you have to be quiet.
Yes Daddy
I will be quiet
Actually, I changed my mind.
Wear a little girl skirt
and the hello kitty shirt.
Yes Daddy

I am going to take your virginity tonight, and I don't want to hear even a squeak from you, no matter how much it hurts.


Yes Daddy
I'm scared
I am going to ruin your twat.
You should be scared.
Is it gonna hurt?
Yes.
Why Daddy?

Because that is what you deserve.
You fucking whore.
You told me what you did with that boy.
That is only for Daddy.
Why is my virginity gonna hurt Daddy?
You'll see.
I didn't know Daddy... I'm sorry
Don't say sorry.
You'll get what you deserve tonight.

Yes Daddy
You are going to do to me what you did to that boy.
Yes Daddy
He told me it was just playing
Don't make excuses to me you little slut.
You are my cum slut
Yes Daddy
I am your cum hole
Yes, that's right.
Don't forget that.
I do whatever I want to you.
I use you and abuse you.
Yes Daddy
I take what I want.
You own me

Yes, you know.
Yes Daddy I know
Maybe I will get you a bit drunk tonight.
Do you have wine?
But Daddy I'm not old enough to drink
None of that matters. It doesn't matter if you are too young to drink or to get your pussy busted.
Yes Daddy


In fact, it is better that you are too young. That's what I like.
I'll obey Daddy

I can take advantage of you because you are young and dumb.
Yes Daddy I don't know anything... Thank You for teaching me
I put something for you to drink outside the bathroom door.
Make sure that you drink it all.
Thank You Daddy
Yes Daddy
You won't hear from me for a while, maybe until 10.
Yes Daddy
I'll be waiting for you Daddy
I got some videos for you while you wait.
You are to watch them.
You are not allowed to touch between your legs if you feel something funny.
Understand?
Yes Daddy
Make sure the sound is off.
lock the door
Yes Daddy
I'm in the bathtub Daddy
Good
My bald little pussy feels good in the warm water, Daddy
I bet it does. You better not be touching it too much to spoil it for Daddy.
I won't touch it Daddy, you told me I couldn't even if it felt funny
Good
Daddy is the only one allowed to touch down there
Unless I tell somebody to use your pussy.
I'm being good Daddy
I will tell you what to do because it is what I want.
That is what is important.
Yes Daddy
I will obey
Good little girl.
I love you Daddy
you own my little pussy
I will obey you, and won't question you
Because you know what's best for me Daddy
Good girl.
Good girl
What are you doing?
Watching the movies you got me
Good girl
Unlock the door
Yes Daddy
Put the ball gag on
Yes Daddy
Get on all fours with face towards headboard
Yes Daddy
Done?
Yes Daddy
Thank you

 

[Raingirl85]

I agree with a lot of the others, especially meek me. and it sounds, as others have said, that you are trying to find a perfect formula of what to do to her to please her, rather than just Dominating her as YOU. Don't try to be the Domme girl she was with. Be the Dom You. If that persona exists inside you.

I also think there is a particular excitement and adrenaline rush when you have sex with a new partner for the first time who you don't know very well and who you are allowing to play Dom to your sub. It is hard to experience that particular brand of excitement with a LTR who you know very well and love and trust. While there are many other ways to have exciting, adrenaline-rush sex, they won't feel the same as that terrifying-yet-exhilarating first time with someone new where you've let go, allowed this person who has NOT earned your trust to Dom you and just hoped for the best. It's not particularly responsible behavior to seek out these types of liaisons without some sort of vetting mechanism (eg in your case, you could vet men/women to bring in for this purpose).. But my point is, maybe part of her discontent is a sort of craving for that feeling she got from that type of hook up.

I'm not nearly as eloquent as everyone else, but that's my 2 cents.

 

[hooterbif]

I agree with a lot of the others, especially meek me. and it sounds, as others have said, that you are trying to find a perfect formula of what to do to her to please her, rather than just Dominating her as YOU. Don't try to be the Domme girl she was with. Be the Dom You. If that persona exists inside you.

I also think there is a particular excitement and adrenaline rush when you have sex with a new partner for the first time who you don't know very well and who you are allowing to play Dom to your sub. It is hard to experience that particular brand of excitement with a LTR who you know very well and love and trust. While there are many other ways to have exciting, adrenaline-rush sex, they won't feel the same as that terrifying-yet-exhilarating first time with someone new where you've let go, allowed this person who has NOT earned your trust to Dom you and just hoped for the best. It's not particularly responsible behavior to seek out these types of liaisons without some sort of vetting mechanism (eg in your case, you could vet men/women to bring in for this purpose).. But my point is, maybe part of her discontent is a sort of craving for that feeling she got from that type of hook up.

I'm not nearly as eloquent as everyone else, but that's my 2 cents.

Thank you. I agree with what you are saying.

My girlfriend even told me that the zone she got in with the girl had to do with a combination of a bunch of things that magically came together, including her fantastic boobs, the fact that I set the whole thing up, the fact that the girl has many years of experience in d/s life, etc.

(Not sure if this is relevant, but this is the firth or sixth time we have been with this girl. The first time, I set it up with them together without me because I was out of town. I think that time went just like this last time based on what she told me. The difference is, this time I heard it and realized it was something way different.)