Litiquette3

[Ginger41]

So the question is, have you changed your ways here at lit as the result of receiving some sort of feedback, if so what complex you to change your ways?[/QUOTE]



No, not at all. Ive been here a while and Im the same now as day 1. Im not gonna change based on any of that nonsense (good or bad). I hold the power to sign off, delete, respond, interact and control my experience here.

 

[ChainedUp]

So the question is, have you changed your ways here at lit as the result of receiving some sort of feedback, if so what complex you to change your ways?

Compelled. Demerit points for Managament for lack of proofreading.

 

[Skankstar]

Wanders through for the late night crowd.

Over the course of time there's been lots of discussion on PDAs within the threads, so there's no point in going down that road once again. Instead, lets veer slightly and discuss whether or not you engage in any board banter with a play partner. Do you leave secret messages around the threads that only they know are meant for them? Do you openly have lit exchanges that unless you tip your hand too much, know one would be the wiser for what's going on. Or do you not engage publicly with your play partner?

I tend to just chat with my playmates via personal messages. And I rarely stalk their posts. Unless I haven't heard from them in a few days then I go all PI.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

A little PDA is okay, most times I refrain, but sometimes it's just fun to do a little teeny-tiny bit. Threads get boring at times and sometimes a rise in blood pressure is needed. Now this notion of tipping of the hand, I'm certain one would grin and wonder what they other was up to. Is it deliberate, nah. But maybe. Yes, I'm being bad.

If I leave a secret message for someone, it's well thought out so they know it's intended for them. I sometimes wonder if I make a random comment if it's read into too much. My random blurts are random, I'm the queen of rambling random bubbly thoughts. It's all good.

I'm too nice, no snarky or aloof attitude in me.

I like this new warmed up Chained.
A nibble on the ear to see how much trouble I get into.
**shrugs shoulders and bats eyelashes**

 

[All_4_Love]

Yes, I've left things on threads that were meant for someone knowing if they were on the same page or receptive to it, they may know it was for them.

Something just occurred to me and yet it wasn't spawned by this question. It was brought on by something else that just now occured. Anyhow, I am compelled to respond and put it out into the universe. It is somewhat related but it didn't happen at Lit.

Despite what some may believe, I know from experience that you can feel a connection to someone in the online world. And at times, never have spoken to that person directly via PM or privately at all, but just sense when they are speaking to you, or they can sense when you're speaking to them.

It is completely intuitive, a knowing. He wrote a cryptic post, probably many, but one stood out. My intuition told me it was directed at me but my fear overtook and I questioned his intent. Looking back, as I've done many times, I have wondered if it was because he felt it, too. Either way, that post literally changed the course of my life and he will never know that. Either way, it doesn't matter now. I disappeared shortly after. Then he showed up out of nowhere 3 years later. And then, he was the one that disappeared shortly thereafter.

Meant to be? Yes, obviously so. I am certain it was meant for us to only pass on our journeys. I can't help but wonder how much of that is my fault because I didn't trust it. Or because my fear said, no way, it can't be. Or maybe my ego saw something just because it wanted to. I will never truly know but things like that are real. I know that now. Strange how the universe works. Strange how some soulmates aren't meant to share their lives with one another. Brief encounters can be so very powerful and leave you breathless and grateful if you open your heart to them. I will never forget him, not ever.

 

[Suz_anne]

Do you leave secret messages around the threads that only they know are meant for them? Do you openly have lit exchanges that unless you tip your hand too much, know one would be the wiser for what's going on. Or do you not engage publicly with your play partner?

I'm not a huge fan of PDA - either here or in offline life. A little bit is sweet, of course. A lot gets nauseating quickly. What's the online version of holding hands? That's probably pretty okay.

So the question is, have you changed your ways here at lit as the result of receiving some sort of feedback, if so what compelled you to change your ways?

I've never received feedback regarding my ways. I'm not a prolific poster, so that may be part of the reason why. I mostly post dirty pictures from tumblr and tell people what songs I'm listening to at the moment. And try to find weird pictures for IHC's threads.

I have received feedback about other Litsters. People who have noticed that I'm interacting with someone on the boards and who offer up some advice &/or warnings about that someone. I've listened to all of it, took some of it with a grain of salt, but mostly made up my own mind. It's worked out okay so far.

 

[ChainedUp]

I like this new warmed up Chained.
A nibble on the ear to see how much trouble I get into.
**shrugs shoulders and bats eyelashes**

Ear nibbles, I believe that's a first time I have gotten those. I'm pretty sure I like it. In fact I know I do

 

[Mindfondler]

So the question is, have you changed your ways here at lit as the result of receiving some sort of feedback, if so what compelled you to change your ways?

I don't recall ever doing that from explicit feedback. When I first joined Lit, I took some time to lurk around and assess the environment before I took the plunge and started posting. Over time, my assessments have changed (indeed, I think the environment has itself changed) and I've probably adjusted my behaviour in order to fit in. I'm not sure that I can identify precisely what changes I've made though, as I tend to do this subconsciously in response to my perceptions of implicit hints and signals.

I have received feedback about other Litsters. People who have noticed that I'm interacting with someone on the boards and who offer up some advice &/or warnings about that someone. I've listened to all of it, took some of it with a grain of salt, but mostly made up my own mind. It's worked out okay so far.

I've never had feedback like that! I imagine, though, that as a married guy, I'm not as vulnerable to the potential pitfalls as many others. I'm glad to hear that this happens, as long as it's well-intentioned and not juat malicious gossip.
.

 

[ChainedUp]

They say that age is just a number, that you're only as you feel. But we all know better. Age does have an affect on us all. Sometimes it's good, as the transgressions of youth become the life lessons we rely upon later in life. What age were you when you realized you were older than you once were? Do you accept becoming older with open arms or do you fight it every step of the way?

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

They say that age is just a number, that you're only as you feel. But we all know better. Age does have an affect on us all. Sometimes it's good, as the transgressions of youth become the life lessons we rely upon later in life. What age were you when you realized you were older than you once were? Do you accept becoming older with open arms or do you fight it every step of the way?

I think I'm at this age right now actually. I don't freak out about age, really. I like being able to look back and see experiences and good times had. My life is my own and I still do what I want. Being older doesn't change that. Honestly, most of the time I simply forget I'm not 21 anymore. Lol

 

[Lord Pmann]

They say that age is just a number, that you're only as you feel. But we all know better. Age does have an affect on us all. Sometimes it's good, as the transgressions of youth become the life lessons we rely upon later in life. What age were you when you realized you were older than you once were? Do you accept becoming older with open arms or do you fight it every step of the way?

I'm still a young, strapping 32. Except I just fucked up my ankle so I'm walking with a limp right now.

Anyway, I've always been an old soul. Responsible from the time I was weemann. And as some, less fashionable people say, I dress in the shoes and pants of an old man. Not true. I'm stylish as hell. I digress.

I have noticed in the last couple of years shit hurts sometimes. For no reason. Like, I'll wake up and feel like I slept on a damned conch shell or something. I check the bed to see if my wife played a mean prank on me, but no, it's just me getting older.

I find myself getting more mellow as I get older. Well, about some things. Then some things, like hipsters, make me really angry with their stupid bikes and lumberjack beards when we know good and well those motherfuckers have never swung a hammer in their cynical lives. See?

 

[All_4_Love]

Physically, I feel my age. It's neither good nor bad. Yes, I'm getting older. The aches and pains, wear and tear, are creeping up. I started to notice the aging process at about 38. It's all good.

Emotionally and spiritually, my mid 30s were a time of great pain and confusion. I survived the most painful experience that any one person could ever face. I say survived because, at times, the pain was so unbearable I felt like I was dying. Ultimately, this became a humbling experience, an awakening. It forced me to look at my life, my choices, my mistakes, and to take responsibility. I gave my power away and gave control over my life to someone for far too long. So, my 30s were the time when I started to realize a lot, one of those things being that life wasn't to be taken for granted and that if I should be fortunate enough and safe enough to assume that I would live into old age, my time here still wasn't getting any longer, and every single day was precious. Most importantly, it was my life to live, not someone else's. To say the least, this was not just the time when I realized I was older than I thought; I became older.

This led to a deep appreciation for the gift of my life. Although, I believed that the soul is eternal, I realized that this woman, who I am, my experience, will only come around once. Then, it's over. I completely embrace getting older because I know that life only gets better with age. With time comes wisdom and experience. Accepting that death is the final act, I don't want to die. The thought of aging then makes me very sad. The pure joy at just being alive is something I never want to end. Ugh...the feeling is just so completely bittersweet.

Hey! I'm almost 41 and I still get asked for my ID when I try to buy alcohol! Now, there's something to be grateful for!

 

[BlackCashmere]

Also, I had a good 12 inches of hair cut off - that's what old ladies do.

You are very beautiful...

 

[GiggLeGasm]

My mom passed away when she was 45 and that year always lurked in the back of my mind - as if I knew that I would cross some mystical barrier and either make it or not.
When I got divorced, I was 45 years old. Part of me died, just as I'd always feared; but part of me was finally allowed to live. Every year since then has been filled with reasons to celebrate the struggle.
..I still can't bring myself to cut my hair.

 

[BlackCashmere]

My mom passed away when she was 45 and that year always lurked in the back of my mind - as if I knew that I would cross some mystical barrier and either make it or not.
When I got divorced, I was 45 years old. Part of me died, just as I'd always feared; but part of me was finally allowed to live. Every year since then has been filled with reasons to celebrate the struggle.
..I still can't bring myself to cut my hair.

Your moms light shines on in you to all of us...Im so proud of you...you have such a positive inspiring outlook...Im so blessed to call you my friend- you have made a difference in my life ...

 

[TheSilverLining]

Do you leave secret messages around the threads that only they know are meant for them? Do you openly have lit exchanges that unless you tip your hand too much, know one would be the wiser for what's going on. Or do you not engage publicly with your play partner?

Have I ever left secret messages around the place for a specific person? Yes.
Did that person always twig they were for them? No. LOL
Do I engage in Lit-public with my play partners? Errrr, don't have any to engage with. So that'll be a "no". Cyber does nothing for me.

So the question is, have you changed your ways here at lit as the result of receiving some sort of feedback, if so what compelled you to change your ways?

I'd love to say "no" and that I'll always just be me, but I probably have changed my ways - or at least the way I present myself.
I think the character I portray here was closer to me when I first started. But that soon ended. Nothing like being shot down in flames and accused of all sorts as an incentive to reign it in a little.
Now I'm just part of me. You'll only ever see bits of me. Cowardly? Yes, probably. But that shit hurts.

However, I have received a string of PMs recently accusing me of being verbally abusive and really rather aggressive with certain male posters. So apparently I'm doing a canny job of conveying my not-so-inner bitch.

They say that age is just a number, that you're only as you feel. But we all know better. Age does have an affect on us all. Sometimes it's good, as the transgressions of youth become the life lessons we rely upon later in life. What age were you when you realized you were older than you once were? Do you accept becoming older with open arms or do you fight it every step of the way?

I'm 31 - still wet behind the ears.
However, I have a child in secondary school (the UK equivalent of high school) and my eyebrows have turned almost completely white. The secondary school thing was a major "how the hell did that happen?" moment for me.....I'm not old enough for that!
I don't feel any different to how I did a decade ago. I'm a little more bitter, perhaps - lessons learned and all that. My bones know the difference. I have early onset arthritis in my left hip, and I have a pretty physical job. Sometimes I sit down after a long day and everything stiffens up. (perverts)
But I still look like a child (seriously, got ID'd for an age 12 product a few weeks back) so things could be worse.....

 

[All_4_Love]

My mom passed away when she was 45 and that year always lurked in the back of my mind - as if I knew that I would cross some mystical barrier and either make it or not.

My mom was 43, and this is exactly what I've been going through. Words can't even explain my feelings in reading this.

When I got divorced, I was 45 years old. Part of me died, just as I'd always feared; but part of me was finally allowed to live. Every year since then has been filled with reasons to celebrate the struggle.

And this... So inspirational. It brings a smile to my face.

...I still can't bring myself to cut my hair.

Me either. It's not gonna happen. I'm at peace knowing that with old age I will look like a washed up gypsy woman. I prefer to carry it off Stevie Nicks style, but going blonde isn't an option for me.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I'm at peace knowing that with old age I will look like a washed up gypsy woman. I prefer to carry it off Stevie Nicks style, but going blonde isn't an option for me.

Let your inner mermaid shine!

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'd love to say "no" and that I'll always just be me, but I probably have changed my ways - or at least the way I present myself.

To this... I don't think it's good to be opposed to change at the suggestions of others. Not to please people, but we have to get better somehow. And, if say, consider the source. Is it someone who genuinely cares for you? A neutral observer? A jilted lover? Those biases can play into the suggestions. But I think when people say "I'm just me" and don't take criticism, you keep yourself from becoming a better person. People who tend to never change are usually assholes.

Someone once said to me, "Pmann, you may be the smartest person in the room. But you're not smarter than everyone in the room." That was the best advice anyone ever gave me. Because while I may have been more experienced than any single person in that room, my ideas certainly didn't trump the collective experiences of a group of people. From that moment, I vowed to be less of a stubborn dickhead. It doesn't always work. But I mostly do okay.

 

[BlueEyedGent]

They say that age is just a number, that you're only as you feel. But we all know better. Age does have an affect on us all. Sometimes it's good, as the transgressions of youth become the life lessons we rely upon later in life. What age were you when you realized you were older than you once were? Do you accept becoming older with open arms or do you fight it every step of the way?

Personally, I do not have a problem adding another candle to my birthday cake each year...but it does make me reflect and realize that if I am getting older then my parents are as well...and yes, I know that no one knows when it is time to meet our maker, but most likely they will pass before me and my brother...and that saddens me to think of them not being here on Earth...

It really hit home not too long ago when I was made the legal guardian of my brother...it was passed from my parents to myself...

 

[All_4_Love]

Let your inner mermaid shine!

*smile*

Yes indeed, lady. I intend to...

Somewhere in the twilight, dream time, somewhere in the back of your miii-ind.

*giggle*

 

[Bitesback]

There are various life milestones that can be signposts in our lives as we get older. For those of us with kids, some of those are associated with the stages of our children's lives. At the other end of the school milestones to Rainshine and her little one, I recently went to the last parent teacher interview for my elder boy. He finishes classes next week before his final school exams. For me, his increasing independence is a series of taking stock moments in my getting older. Actually, being called to the Principal's office ASAP....that's a real moment of needing to be very grown up.

The last eight years have also seen me attending too many funerals of friends, some after illness, some suddenly...the youngest at 44 years of age, the oldest at 52. That's a reminder that we are not invincible, and life can be cut short. But of greater significance to me in getting older has been living past the age my Mum passed away. In terms of days, that was earlier this year...yes, I calculated it so I knew when that day would be. I know now that my Dad had done the same thing.

Gigglegasm and All4love, and anyone else marking the passage of time this way while still relatively youthful...

Ladies of Lit, whatever your stage of womanhood...

check your boobs!​

 

[ChainedUp]

Recently I saw something (it could have even been a post at lit) about the "you're beautiful" movement. Essentially the thought is that, no, not everyone is beautiful. That there was a disservice by allowing someone to think they are beautiful when they aren't. Just like there are varying degrees of intelligence or athletic ability, there are also varying degrees of beauty. That somehow we're becoming a society of "participation trophies" and that all of this makes us ill prepared for the realities of life where some win, some lose, some make lots of money, others don't ......etc

I'm not sure, quite honestly, where I am with this. I'm a firm believer in having confidence but I'm not a fan of participation trophies.

Enlighten me, teach me, let me hear your thoughts.

 

[kimbalee]

I'm with you on the participation trophy movement. I think it's stupid and leads to a mentality that all I have to do is show up and that's good enough. I don't have to make any effort because I'm still gonna get the prize. I think it's a disservice as well. It rewards non-effort and creates a sense of entitlement.

On the beautiful issue, yeah... some people are not supermodel material but everyone has the same ability to have a beautiful soul. Beauty comes from many different components, not just physical appearance. It might be what first attracts you to a person but for me at least, it's not enough to keep me interested.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Good question, Papa Chained. Like everyone else, I find this such a foolish way of thinking. It gives people and kids the illusion that all things and all people are equal at all things when this isn't the case. By no means am I implying that someone is less of a person because they don't have this quality or that trait. But I'm saying that they are not likely equal in every way and it's a huge disservice because, when the penny drops and they realize they're so ugly they could make a buzzard fall off of a shitwagon, then it's a brutal lesson.

I get really annoyed when people do this with their kids. And I know all of YOUR kids truly are the smartest things to walk the earth. But I'm talking about other people's kids. I hate to break the news, but 50% of kids are in the dumb half. Yet 100% of the parents think their kids are in the top 5 percentile. It's okay if your kids aren't in the top half. It really is. Again, 50% of people fall that way. That doesn't make them less valuable or less lovable. But everyone doesn't does fall in the upper limits of society. That's okay. But we also shouldn't tell people that they are in the upper limits, if they aren't. Then you have dumb people trying to become doctors or ugly people trying to become models or talentless people trying to sing. Just watch any music show and see some delusional fucker out there humiliating his/herself because their parents were too deluded to tell them they suck.