The ghosts in the room

[Bramblethorn]

Grace Bellavue, who died last night, was an Australian sex worker and writer. I just discovered this piece by her and thought some of the authors here might appreciate it.

https://gracebellavue.wordpress.com/2013/09/08/the-ghosts-in-the-room/

 

[Handley_Page]

Grace Bellavue, who died last night, was an Australian sex worker and writer. I just discovered this piece by her and thought some of the authors here might appreciate it.

https://gracebellavue.wordpress.com/2013/09/08/the-ghosts-in-the-room/

I just love this euemism "sex worker".

 

[Bramblethorn]

I just love this euemism "sex worker".

Eh? I'd have said "sex worker" is about as non-euphemistic as it gets.

A euphemism is a vague or indirect way of talking about a thing, like when you tell little Timmy that his dog has gone to a farm in the country or that Mummy's having grown-up cuddles with her special friend.

A "sex worker" is somebody who does work that involves sex. Pretty straightforward.

 

[lovecraft68]

Eh? I'd have said "sex worker" is about as non-euphemistic as it gets.

A euphemism is a vague or indirect way of talking about a thing, like when you tell little Timmy that his dog has gone to a farm in the country or that Mummy's having grown-up cuddles with her special friend.

A "sex worker" is somebody who does work that involves sex. Pretty straightforward.

And it is work. Any porn star that claims she 'loves it' is pandering to the audience. They certainly don't love the constant enemas, stomach issues, eating disorders, cramps, vaginal pain, cramping and everything else that comes with hours of filming. Oh, wait, sorry I'm ruining the fantasy

And the 'happy hooker' who really gets into her job is a myth as well. Sex for pay, especially on a regular basis turns it into a completely mechanical act.

 

[Bramblethorn]

And it is work. Any porn star that claims she 'loves it' is pandering to the audience. They certainly don't love the constant enemas, stomach issues, eating disorders, cramps, vaginal pain, cramping and everything else that comes with hours of filming. Oh, wait, sorry I'm ruining the fantasy

And the 'happy hooker' who really gets into her job is a myth as well. Sex for pay, especially on a regular basis turns it into a completely mechanical act.

Curious - did you read the piece I linked? "Completely mechanical" is about the last thing I'd use to describe that.

 

[lovecraft68]

Curious - did you read the piece I linked? "Completely mechanical" is about the last thing I'd use to describe that.

Truthfully? First, she is writing of an encounter, of course she is going to portray it that way

Also like all professions, some have a better bed side manner. I'm not saying they act like robots, that won't get them regulars, but beyond the act...it is an act.

A big thing with professionals is getting regulars so they aren't always dealing with new people and 'what ifs'

and once they get the regular what it turns into is the sought after GFE from the john. The more than sex, the 'how was your day, how are you baby, just relax...."

I doubt they really mean it with the dozen or so they are juggling in their schedule.

Worth noting a few years ago I interviewed a half dozen back page/craigs list girls. set up with them and paid them a few dollars for a a cup of coffee and half hour pf conversation in a public place.

Not one of them said they 'enjoy it' and one of them said how she would be thinking about next days class schedule while she was giving head or having sex, but out loud it was all "oh, honey, oh..."

I don't buy it.

As an interesting aside of the six.

Two just took the money and left, three asked if I wanted the 'experience' and would give me a lower price.

One said she thought I was hot and offered me to go back to her place for free because she liked 'older bad boys'

I wished she had left out the older part....

and that I wasn't married...

 

[Carnal_Flower]

Im not convinced. Seems like a lot of romanticized frou frou that skirts the actual sex work part.

Reminds of Anais Nin, except that a.) Nin had actual love affairs to write about and b.) Nin went into great detail about her subjective experience of sex.

Id need more to be convinced the actual "work" part was intimate and deep, not just enjoying the dude's post-orgasmic opening up.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

It's easy to say, "I don't buy it" when you're on the outside looking in.

Having been a stripper for nearly three years, a lot of what was said in this blog resonated with me. There were plenty of times where I felt more like a therapist than a stripper. Men all have their reasons for going to strip clubs, and I can tell you that more often than not those reasons go beyond "seein' some tits and ass."

Being able to console these lost souls was one of the most fulfilling and satisfying parts of my dancing career. Sure, sometimes I put on an act if I felt they weren't being sincere (strippers and "sex workers" aren't always the ones doing the acting) but the ones who were sincere, and you could tell, their feelings, emotions, and pain were very much real, and my desire to help them was also real.

But the topic is about prostitutes, er, I mean, sex workers not strippers, right? Answer me this: if you lined up 100 people who all shared the same profession, how many would say they loved their job? I'd go as far as to say the majority would say they hate it. Even doctors hate being doctors, I know several who do. My point? There are plenty of prostitutes who hate what they do, just like there are plenty of strippers who hate what they do. But I, for one, loved being a stripper. To say that ALL prostitutes hate what they do, and that it is ALL an act, is simply a generalization. There are exceptions to everything, shades of grey, and this person is obviously the exception. That doesn't make her fake.

And she isn't the only one with a similar blog:

http://blog.sherisranch.com/legal-prostitution/5-reasons-why-i-love-being-a-legal-courtesan/

You can take from "Char's" blog what you will, considering it is posted on a legal brothel's website, but I have spoken with her, for free, numerous times on the subject of prostitution. Her words are genuine. But she comes from a different walk of life than the six "craigslisters" LC had interviewed. Char is a "legal prostitute", while the six girls are "street walkers". Allow me to explain the difference, and why "sex worker" actually is quite vague.

Legal prostitute:

- First off it's legal, so no worries of being arrested

- Require a license, and regular STD screening are required to maintain this license. Drug use is also screened.

- Provide their services inside legally established brothels for a period of time set by the prostitute. During this time, they cannot leave.

- Brothels provide security. Bouncers, cameras, witnesses, safe rooms with "panic" buttons.

- Brothels also provide provisions. Condoms, oral dams, sanitizer, wipes, etc.

- Legal prostitutes are educated on how to spot symptoms of STD infections as part of their licensing process, further decreasing the spread of diseases.

- Charge far more than "street walkers" because of the cost to uphold their license.

Street walkers:

- Is illegal. The threat of being arrested is very real.

- Because of no need for a license, regular STD screenings aren't guaranteed.

- Provide their services based on preference. Some are in-call, out-call, or both. There is inherent risks in all situations.

- No security other than their own ability to defend themselves. Risks of sexual violence is FAR greater.

- Must buy their own provisions, and some go without due to costs.

- Most are not formally educated on how to spot symptoms of STDs. If they do know, refusing a client has added risks due to not having any form of security beyond self defense.

- Charge far less than "legal prostitutes" because of no required screening costs.

So after comparing the two, if you are a street walker, which is what anyone advertising on Craigslist is, would you be happy with your profession when you have risks of being arrested, risks of being assulted with no one to help you, greater risks of STD infections, have to pay for provisions, have no insurance or other benefits provided by "normal" jobs, and get paid less than you should?

But even so, this woman in the OP has found aspects of this lifestyle worthwhile. It isn't for everyone, just like accounting, security, or sales isn't for everyone. Some people love what they do, even if it involves sex, but they are in the minority and no less real.

 

[lovecraft68]

Men are looking for two things. Sex and reassurance that they're worth something and both are just stroking, one the cock, one the ego, but for most men they are one in the same.

The "its okay, baby' is as insincere as the sex which is my point.

I'm not saying sex workers don't act as more then a sexual escapade, my point is its acting and the guys are so dumb they believe the woman cares just like they believe the "Oh my god orgasms are because they are that fucking good.

Now I admit to having paid for sex in between my marriages. Why not? $200 for an hour with a pretty coed? As opposed to a date of the same price for who knows what?

But I needed no coddling, I was there to fuck pure and simple. I did get a couple of compliments from them that I was more fun than the average John, but mostly because I was in damn good shape which separated me from the average slob paying for it.

One asked why I was paying for it and my reply of "Because its easier, I have no morals and I like the dirty thrill" made her spit her water out and give me points for honesty.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

I don't agree. Sex is a given, sure, but reassurance is but one of many possible reasons. I think it would be more accurate to say, "sex and fulfillment of an emotional need."

Take the guy in the article. He didn't need reassurance or an ego boost. He needed to remember what passion felt like, or perhaps, to forget about his loss for a few minutes. He was grieving, in his own way.

But then, there are couples who hire prostitutes too. Where is the emotional need in this instance? Is it insecurity, or is it purely fulfillment of a fantasy? Maybe the man feels inadequate, or maybe his SO does? Or it could be they are both bored of each other sexually.

My point is, there are too many factors in the "whys" when it comes to sex, let alone sex with a prostitute, to say that every instance is "this" or "that". The possiblities are almost endless, and you're not going to quite put your finger on it completely when you're on the outside looking in.

While sex may not be as physically enjoyable for the prostitute as she may make it out to be, there are other enjoyable aspects of sex besides just the big "O". I don't think a prostitute would do what they do for a long time just for money alone. But again, there are always exceptions.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

I think you're in La la land.

Bloggers aside, the vast majority of prostitutes do it for survival and for drugs, which means money.

This blogger, who went straight from corporate America to "branding" herself, is the exception. It nauseates me how she uses this emotional blather sell a glamorous image. She figured out how to become her own pimp, and suddenly she's a prophet.

But I'm talking actual street workers, the huge majority, who are much more likely to be raped or murdered, have little choice or options, and can't just pick up and get a new life. the idea that they're actually doing it for their own enjoyment, out of choice, is an idealization.

I don't think a prostitute would do what they do for a long time just for money alone. But again, there are always exceptions.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

I don't agree. Sex is a given, sure, but reassurance is but one of many possible reasons. I think it would be more accurate to say, "sex and fulfillment of an emotional need."

Take the guy in the article. He didn't need reassurance or an ego boost. He needed to remember what passion felt like, or perhaps, to forget about his loss for a few minutes. He was grieving, in his own way.

But then, there are couples who hire prostitutes too. Where is the emotional need in this instance? Is it insecurity, or is it purely fulfillment of a fantasy? Maybe the man feels inadequate, or maybe his SO does? Or it could be they are both bored of each other sexually.

My point is, there are too many factors in the "whys" when it comes to sex, let alone sex with a prostitute, to say that every instance is "this" or "that". The possiblities are almost endless, and you're not going to quite put your finger on it completely when you're on the outside looking in.

While sex may not be as physically enjoyable for the prostitute as she may make it out to be, there are other enjoyable aspects of sex besides just the big "O". I don't think a prostitute would do what they do for a long time just for money alone. But again, there are always exceptions.

Sorry, Roz, but your sex positive message of personal empowerment doesn't fit in with the concept that men are idiots with dicks and women are always victims. Any woman who writes something sex positive has been brainwashed by the mainstream media into ignoring their victim status. What they really need is a big, strong, man-hating man to protect them from the rest of the male-gendered filth in the world. Please adjust your thinking if you insist on posting anything further. Oh, and always fear bi-guys, because we're just gay guys stealing women that should be sleeping with straight men.

 

[LadyVer]

Grace Bellavue, who died last night, was an Australian sex worker and writer. I just discovered this piece by her and thought some of the authors here might appreciate it.

https://gracebellavue.wordpress.com/2013/09/08/the-ghosts-in-the-room/

What happened to her?

Interesting blog post. I would imagine sex with hookers, whether street or "professional," is not all black and white. As a woman, I don't know what it's like to pay a man for sex. I do know what it's like to have sex with men I didn't know when younger and grief-stricken. Sometimes, people do what they have to do to get by. Sometimes, they aren't thinking too clearly. Sometimes people get what they need from strangers. Sometimes, shit happens. C'est la vie.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I think you're in La la land.

Bloggers aside, the vast majority of prostitutes do it for survival and for drugs, which means money.

This blogger, who went straight from corporate America to "branding" herself, is the exception. It nauseates me how she uses this emotional blather sell a glamorous image. She figured out how to become her own pimp, and suddenly she's a prophet.

But I'm talking actual street workers, the huge majority, who are much more likely to be raped or murdered, have little choice or options, and can't just pick up and get a new life. the idea that they're actually doing it for their own enjoyment, out of choice, is an idealization.

Cupcake youre clueless.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

Do please enlighten me, Big Daddy


QUOTE=NOIRTRASH;71695212]Cupcake youre clueless.[/QUOTE]

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Do please enlighten me, Big Daddy


QUOTE=NOIRTRASH;71695212]Cupcake youre clueless.

[/QUOTE]

The girls sell it for every reason you can imagine. Mostly they make more money than when they clean your house.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

Well we agree its about money.





The girls sell it for every reason you can imagine. Mostly they make more money than when they clean your house.[/QUOTE]

 

[oggbashan]

A couple of doors away from my secondhand bookshop used to be one of our local whores.

She was an older lady who specialised in older customers. She was a good customer for my shop. I wasn't one of her customers, even though I persuaded her to join our Chamber of Commerce. As a single prostitute working alone she was offering a legal service.

(I was, and am, their Vice-President. Some of the other members thought I was taking the 'Vice' part of my title too literally. But she offered a 10% discount to fellow Chamber members. She also received a discount from the Chamber members for building work. One of the carpenters equipped her 'dungeon'.)

Many of her customers waited in my shop, pretending to browse until she was available. Some bought books 'to be collected later'. Most were widowers or older divorced men. In our small town those who used her services were known. She didn't talk about individual customers, only in generalities. Most were just lonely men. Although most wanted and paid for sex, many also wanted someone to talk to. As long as she was paid, she would do what the customer wanted.

The only temporary concern was from the neighbours between my shop and the whore's premises. Between 2 and 2.30 on every Wednesday afternoon the customer wanted to be whipped. His screams could be heard through the party wall.

The neighbours joined a social club for pensioners that met on Wednesday afternoons. As they were out every Wednesday afternoon, they didn't hear the screams. Apart from those afternoons, they were satisfied with their neighbour. She worked daylight hours from 9am to 5pm and the premises were empty outside those times. Further down the road was a house occupied by students who caused more nuisance with occasional parties.

She retired when her husband retired and they moved away, selling the house she had used as her work premises. The new occupants had young children that were far noisier (except on Wednesday afternoons!).

 

[Bramblethorn]

I think you're in La la land.

Bloggers aside, the vast majority of prostitutes do it for survival and for drugs, which means money.

Most people in most careers are doing it "for survival", one way or another. How many people do you think would show up to Wal-Mart or McD's tomorrow if they didn't need the money?

As for drugs:
The Working girls : prostitutes, their life and social control study on the Australian Institute of Criminology found that the most common reason given by sex workers for starting in the industry was to earn more money (44.5%). Other reasons (respondents gave multiple reasons) were unemployed at the time (36.7%), curiosity about self or prostitution (25.8%), to support a family (16.7%), to support a man (5.5%), for sexual enjoyment (3.1%) and to support a drug habit (9.45%). The study compared the answers given by sex workers with the expected reasons for entering sex work as given by health workers and students and found that “prostitutes see and treat prostitution as a job option, unlike most non-prostitutes, who see it as an expression of a psycho-social deficiency.” - http://www.kingstribune.com/weekly-email/item/1789-sex-workers-facts-and-myths

It's interesting to compare the way people talk about sex work with pro sport. Something like NFL takes a heavy toll on the body - joint damage, concussion, and so on. Sometimes their management illegally hand out addictive drugs to players to keep them working. Many are financially exploited: within five years of retirement, 60% of NFL players are broke.

But when a NFL player says he loves the game, people believe him. They don't assume he's lying for a paycheque, they don't moralise about how he has to be rescued from an industry that's just going to exploit him.

This blogger, who went straight from corporate America to "branding" herself, is the exception.

Uh, since when is Adelaide "corporate America"? I mentioned at the start of this thread that she was Australian.

It nauseates me how she uses this emotional blather sell a glamorous image.

https://gracebellavue.wordpress.com/2014/06/20/20-things/ <- hard to see how that's supposed to be "selling a glamorous image".

What nauseates me is how people who are all eager to defend sex workers suddenly turn on them when they dare to speak for themselves and aren't interested in playing along with the "helpless victim" stereotype. Then they're all liars who need to be taken down a peg, natch. You've rehashed inaccurate stereotypes that make it clear this isn't exactly your field of expertise - but when somebody came into this thread who had actual experience of working in adult entertainment, you wrote her off as deluded.

Patronising much?

But I'm talking actual street workers, the huge majority, who are much more likely to be raped or murdered, have little choice or options, and can't just pick up and get a new life. the idea that they're actually doing it for their own enjoyment, out of choice, is an idealization.

Street sex work is dangerous, but in Australia most sex workers have better options:

It’s all but impossible to get reliable data on the number of sex workers working outside the registered industry. However, the 2003 Australian Study of Health and Relationships found that, of men who visited sex workers the settings included brothels (64.6%), escort services (32.6%), massage parlours (26.8%), private premises with a single sex worker (25.5%), private houses where more than one sex worker worked (11.5%), and street sex work (5.9%). - http://www.kingstribune.com/weekly-email/item/1789-sex-workers-facts-and-myths again

Even allowing for uncertainties in measurement, that 5.9% doesn't seem like "huge majority".

What happened to her?

I've been wondering that myself. I haven't seen anything about cause of death. I'm guessing there's no suspicion of foul play or somebody would've mentioned it.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Well we agree its about money.





The girls sell it for every reason you can imagine. Mostly they make more money than when they clean your house.

[/QUOTE]

Money is essential but I've known many who like the variety. I usta know an older gal who gave all the money to her husband, she liked her clients. One gal told me hooking was a good way to screen lovers, the best ones got special freebies.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

I stand humbly corrected on any point you wish, except to clarify the only point of Roz's I did suggest was "deluded" was the assertion that she didnt think women would do it for as long as they do if it was only about the money.

That, I think, is deluded. As you agree. Its about economic survival.

Most people in most careers are doing it "for survival", one way or another. How many people do you think would show up to Wal-Mart or McD's tomorrow if they didn't need the money?

As for drugs:
The Working girls : prostitutes, their life and social control study on the Australian Institute of Criminology found that the most common reason given by sex workers for starting in the industry was to earn more money (44.5%). Other reasons (respondents gave multiple reasons) were unemployed at the time (36.7%), curiosity about self or prostitution (25.8%), to support a family (16.7%), to support a man (5.5%), for sexual enjoyment (3.1%) and to support a drug habit (9.45%). The study compared the answers given by sex workers with the expected reasons for entering sex work as given by health workers and students and found that “prostitutes see and treat prostitution as a job option, unlike most non-prostitutes, who see it as an expression of a psycho-social deficiency.” - http://www.kingstribune.com/weekly-email/item/1789-sex-workers-facts-and-myths

It's interesting to compare the way people talk about sex work with pro sport. Something like NFL takes a heavy toll on the body - joint damage, concussion, and so on. Sometimes their management illegally hand out addictive drugs to players to keep them working. Many are financially exploited: within five years of retirement, 60% of NFL players are broke.

But when a NFL player says he loves the game, people believe him. They don't assume he's lying for a paycheque, they don't moralise about how he has to be rescued from an industry that's just going to exploit him.



Uh, since when is Adelaide "corporate America"? I mentioned at the start of this thread that she was Australian.



https://gracebellavue.wordpress.com/2014/06/20/20-things/ <- hard to see how that's supposed to be "selling a glamorous image".

What nauseates me is how people who are all eager to defend sex workers suddenly turn on them when they dare to speak for themselves and aren't interested in playing along with the "helpless victim" stereotype. Then they're all liars who need to be taken down a peg, natch. You've rehashed inaccurate stereotypes that make it clear this isn't exactly your field of expertise - but when somebody came into this thread who had actual experience of working in adult entertainment, you wrote her off as deluded.

Patronising much?



Street sex work is dangerous, but in Australia most sex workers have better options:

It’s all but impossible to get reliable data on the number of sex workers working outside the registered industry. However, the 2003 Australian Study of Health and Relationships found that, of men who visited sex workers the settings included brothels (64.6%), escort services (32.6%), massage parlours (26.8%), private premises with a single sex worker (25.5%), private houses where more than one sex worker worked (11.5%), and street sex work (5.9%). - http://www.kingstribune.com/weekly-email/item/1789-sex-workers-facts-and-myths again

Even allowing for uncertainties in measurement, that 5.9% doesn't seem like "huge majority".



I've been wondering that myself. I haven't seen anything about cause of death. I'm guessing there's no suspicion of foul play or somebody would've mentioned it.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

Uh, since when is Adelaide "corporate America"? I mentioned at the start of this thread that she was Australian.

I believe Carnal_Flower was referring to the blogger I linked who left her corporate position to work in a brothel. From what I know from speaking with her directly, she would fall under the "curiosity about self or prostitution (25.8%)"

I think you're in La la land.

Bloggers aside, the vast majority of prostitutes do it for survival and for drugs, which means money.

This blogger, who went straight from corporate America to "branding" herself, is the exception. It nauseates me how she uses this emotional blather sell a glamorous image. She figured out how to become her own pimp, and suddenly she's a prophet.

But I'm talking actual street workers, the huge majority, who are much more likely to be raped or murdered, have little choice or options, and can't just pick up and get a new life. the idea that they're actually doing it for their own enjoyment, out of choice, is an idealization.

I suppose I should have clarified that prostitutes, living in the United States, or possibly nations with similar culture like Australia or the United Kingdom, most likely are not doing it solely for the money after +10 years. Also, "doing it for the money" is vastly different than "doing it for survival".

You want to know about those who "do it for survival"? Research webcam girls who live in third world countries sometime. Those girls don't have a choice.

Here in the US? There's always a choice. One of the most uneducated, bullshit statements I've heard while stripping is that strippers are desperate and they "don't have a choice". I've met plenty of girls who were "down on their luck", but they still made the conscious choice to dance naked on stage opposed to signing up for WIC, welfare, or even employment at places with minimum wages. No one forced them. No one held a gun to their head, or held their children for ransom. Plenty got on stage for the first time and couldn't go through with it. I once met a girl who started dancing to "feed her children" but when I asked if she had signed up for WIC or welfare or looked for a support group, she said "I don't take hand outs." Again, choice.

Prostitution isn't much different. These women choose what they do, one way or another. That is, unless they live in third world countries. That's a whole other world entirely.

 

[Handley_Page]

Eh? I'd have said "sex worker" is about as non-euphemistic as it gets.

A euphemism is a vague or indirect way of talking about a thing, like when you tell little Timmy that his dog has gone to a farm in the country or that Mummy's having grown-up cuddles with her special friend.

A "sex worker" is somebody who does work that involves sex. Pretty straightforward.

I'll confess my ignorance of many things; including commercial sex. I haven't lived for any length of time in a big city.

Let me explain. Prostitution was, during my growing-up time, very rarely mentioned. I don't think I ever heard my parents use the term, unless they quoted a newspaper article.
As I understand it, for many years there was a bit of a problem. Whilst 'selling her body' was not, of itself, illegal, soliciting for business was, as was 'pimping'.
What made the matter worse was that there is an associated crime "living off immoral earnings" (a bit of a problem during WW2, I'm told).
So a Prostitute could not be charged Income Tax because it meant that the Government is "living off immoral earnings" which various Governments declined to do.

As far as I can see, it's only within the last decade or so that it's become a 'discussable' subject, and even the BBC had to careful about where they put anything to do with it. The appellation "sex worker" also got tied to those who assist in the treatment of medical or psychiactric problems; these were another group of unsung heros.

But the BBC still does not use the term 'Prostitute.' The girl concerned (often the late girl concerned) could well be the local champion whore but when reported, she was still "in the sex industry" or a "sex worker".

But I would dearly love to have seen the face of the Tax Clerk who opened the Tax form of one lady who declared herself to be a Prostitute. . . .

.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I stand humbly corrected on any point you wish, except to clarify the only point of Roz's I did suggest was "deluded" was the assertion that she didnt think women would do it for as long as they do if it was only about the money.

That, I think, is deluded. As you agree. Its about economic survival.

No, I don't agree with the "that is deluded". There's no contradiction between "many people get into sex work because they need to pay the rent" and "those who aren't enjoying it might leave earlier". Because for many there are other things they can do to pay the rent, just that they come with their own tradeoffs.

If somebody hates sex work and finds the idea degrading, they might prefer to take a McJob to get by. If they find it fulfilling and can deal with the pressures it creates, they're a lot less likely to find a shift to retail appealing.

BTW, one of the reasons I see mentioned a lot as a reason for sex work is the flexibility. For people who have health issues or carer responsibilities that make it hard to keep a regular job, being able to design their own timetable can be a big benefit. Not that it's the only job that offers that, but the alternatives have their drawbacks.

As I understand it, for many years there was a bit of a problem. Whilst 'selling her body' was not, of itself, illegal, soliciting for business was, as was 'pimping'.

Yeah, that's a common legal position. Comes from the assumption that pimps are abusing and exploiting the workers - which, sure, sometimes they are. But anti-pimping laws have some nasty side-effects.

Working alone can be dangerous. A lot of sex workers prefer to share a house with another SW, or work in a larger brothel that can afford professional security, or have a driver who can drop them off on a call and raise the alarm if they don't show, etc etc. Many have partners, and may be the breadwinner in that relationship. Anti-pimping laws put all those people at risk of arrest, which pushes SWs into dangerous solo work.

What made the matter worse was that there is an associated crime "living off immoral earnings" (a bit of a problem during WW2, I'm told).

I'd love to see that law applied to arms dealers and certain advertising execs!

But the BBC still does not use the term 'Prostitute.' The girl concerned (often the late girl concerned) could well be the local champion whore but when reported, she was still "in the sex industry" or a "sex worker".

My rule of thumb is that I call people by their preferred names unless there's a very good reason not to. As far as I can tell, most people in the business prefer "sex worker" to "prostitute", for a range of reasons.

One is that "prostitute" has picked up a lot of negative connotations. When you hear about somebody "prostituting their talents" there's always an implication that they've done something dishonest or corrupt. Sex work is usually very honest work - you get what you paid for - and sex workers would prefer not to be jumbled in with bribe-taking politicians and so on.

Another is the desire to emphasise that "sex work is work". A lot of sex workers would like to have their occupation treated by the same standards as other professions e.g. right to hire security, work collectively, workers' rights. Calling it "sex work" aims to keep the focus on the fact that this is something people do for a living, and that "saving people from prostitution" without their consent actually means "taking away their job".

It's also a bit broader, encompassing some related professions that deal with similar issues and prejudices but might not be classed as "prostitution" per se.

But I would dearly love to have seen the face of the Tax Clerk who opened the Tax form of one lady who declared herself to be a Prostitute. . . .

I don't know how the system works in the UK, but in Australia and New Zealand there's a standard classification for that. The occupation you put on your tax return gets classified under a standard scheme (ANZCO).

Sex work gets classified under ANZCO 451813: "sex worker or escort" is the principal title, "prostitute" is listed as an alternative, "dominatrix" and "telephone sex worker" are listed as specialisations.

Funnily enough, New Zealand specifically reminds taxpayers that they should include illegal income on their tax returns, and apparently some do. It can be a wise decision - ever since Al Capone, tax evasion has been a favourite way of going after organised crime. But where I live, it's a legal occupation.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

BTW, one of the reasons I see mentioned a lot as a reason for sex work is the flexibility. For people who have health issues or carer responsibilities that make it hard to keep a regular job, being able to design their own timetable can be a big benefit. Not that it's the only job that offers that, but the alternatives have their drawbacks.

Flexibility is very appealing for some. Whether you're working out of a legal brothel or not, you have complete control of your schedule. Few professions offer this kind of flexibility. Even if you own your own business, you can't always "take off" when you want to.

In "Char's" case, she works about one week out of the month and takes her summer months off completely to maintain her ranch. She works more during the winter months because that is the "peak" time for business during the year. If she wants more/less money, she can alter her schedule at will. For some people, having free time is priceless.

My rule of thumb is that I call people by their preferred names unless there's a very good reason not to. As far as I can tell, most people in the business prefer "sex worker" to "prostitute", for a range of reasons.

One is that "prostitute" has picked up a lot of negative connotations. When you hear about somebody "prostituting their talents" there's always an implication that they've done something dishonest or corrupt. Sex work is usually very honest work - you get what you paid for - and sex workers would prefer not to be jumbled in with bribe-taking politicians and so on.

Another is the desire to emphasise that "sex work is work". A lot of sex workers would like to have their occupation treated by the same standards as other professions e.g. right to hire security, work collectively, workers' rights. Calling it "sex work" aims to keep the focus on the fact that this is something people do for a living, and that "saving people from prostitution" without their consent actually means "taking away their job".

Most legal prostitutes in the US prefer the term "courtesan". It has served as a way to "dodge" the negative connotations of what they really do. A good portion of street walkers go by "escorts" for the same reason. It's interesting that Australian prostitutes use "sex worker" in a completely different approach. Perhaps prostitutes here should do the same, seeing as how they share the common goal of being recognized as a legitimate profession.

Even the term "stripper" shares the same negative connotations and some people even consider stripping and prostitution to be the same thing. Thanks to stereotypes, I've been called stupid, desperate, drug addicted, filthy, etc, etc. I'm far from any of those things, and most of the dancers I worked with, or have talked to on my many travels to strip clubs across the country, are far from it too. These women aren't just strippers, but also high school graduates, entrepreneurs, and college students. I could go on and on.

It is my wish that the world at large take a moment to better educate themselves about what really goes on with women in any sex or "adult" occupation. Maybe then we can take the right steps to get these women off the street and into a better protected environment where they can still provide their "service." The women would be safer, the clients would be safer, the government can tax the shit out of it, everyone is happy.