murmurmara
Sensually Sixty
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2014
- Posts
- 10,717
add some silk, and most things get better...
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I'm feeling discouraged. The girls are flaming red, swollen, and tender. Doctor says it's not infection, which is a relief. He calls it just a reaction to surgical trauma -- and says it could take weeks or even months to subside. I'm back in bandages, and having trouble sleeping. My appointment with the radiation oncologist was delayed a week. All this is tough for a control freak who doesn't have many control possibilities these days. I cling to the illusion of control, the schedule. I want to get on with it -- the radiation treatment, the healing, the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I'm in the lucky 1% of those struggling with the Big C -- perspective is valuable -- but some days that just doesn't help.
My massage was the only wonderful thing about Wednesday. Oh, and a fabulous swordfish and asparagus dinner!
I can't wait for it to be light enough to go to the river and lay my troubles down...
add some silk, and most things get better...
![]()
I'm feeling discouraged. The girls are flaming red, swollen, and tender. Doctor says it's not infection, which is a relief. He calls it just a reaction to surgical trauma -- and says it could take weeks or even months to subside. I'm back in bandages, and having trouble sleeping. My appointment with the radiation oncologist was delayed a week. All this is tough for a control freak who doesn't have many control possibilities these days. I cling to the illusion of control, the schedule. I want to get on with it -- the radiation treatment, the healing, the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I'm in the lucky 1% of those struggling with the Big C -- perspective is valuable -- but some days that just doesn't help.
My massage was the only wonderful thing about Wednesday. Oh, and a fabulous swordfish and asparagus dinner!
I can't wait for it to be light enough to go to the river and lay my troubles down...
oh... the surgical tape which was supposed to help with healing and scarring and which I was supposed to wear for six weeks had to be removed due to the inflammation. At last I had a good look at my nipples which are healing well. The areolas are substantially reduced in size, but I do have nipple sensation.... plus I have so many pics from before surgery to enjoy.
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add some silk, and most things get better...
![]()
add some silk, and most things get better...
![]()
add some silk, and most things get better...
![]()
add some silk, and most things get better...
![]()
The Pollyanna Post
Thanks so much for the wonderful support you shower down upon me! After post 2594, I wanted to make clear that mostly I focus on gratitude. I was feeling discouraged so I let it out. It feels right to me to experience and express the full range of emotions, not paper things over with platitudes.
Bottom line, I am in the 1% of those dealing with cancer. Most of the cancer club has to cope with much more serious disease and significantly more challenging treatment. I am almost apologetic usually when talking about this. I feel like an imposter in the cancer club. BUT I am having my own experience of cancer, and it is still hard physically and harder emotionally.
I am becoming pretty good at reframing:
So my breasts are swollen, bright red, and oozing -- at least I don't have an antibiotic-resistant infection!
So I'm not walking with my usual briskness -- 18-20 minute miles are still movement. I'm grateful I have the determination and energy to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and walk 3-6 miles a day.
So I'm sleeping more than usual and not reading as much -- I'm fortunate not to have to go to work daily, and I'm loving my bed and my naps.
So there are tugs and stabs with every breath, with every step -- sensation is better than numbness... YAY for sensation.
I still feel well cared for and thoroughly cared about.
Rushing out the door, so replies later, but wanted to balance the discouragement post with the Pollyanna post.
and a pic before I fly away
![]()
I'm feeling discouraged. The girls are flaming red, swollen, and tender. Doctor says it's not infection, which is a relief. He calls it just a reaction to surgical trauma -- and says it could take weeks or even months to subside. I'm back in bandages, and having trouble sleeping. My appointment with the radiation oncologist was delayed a week. All this is tough for a control freak who doesn't have many control possibilities these days. I cling to the illusion of control, the schedule. I want to get on with it -- the radiation treatment, the healing, the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I'm in the lucky 1% of those struggling with the Big C -- perspective is valuable -- but some days that just doesn't help.
My massage was the only wonderful thing about Wednesday. Oh, and a fabulous swordfish and asparagus dinner!
I can't wait for it to be light enough to go to the river and lay my troubles down...
The Pollyanna Post
Thanks so much for the wonderful support you shower down upon me! After post 2594, I wanted to make clear that mostly I focus on gratitude. I was feeling discouraged so I let it out. It feels right to me to experience and express the full range of emotions, not paper things over with platitudes.
Bottom line, I am in the 1% of those dealing with cancer. Most of the cancer club has to cope with much more serious disease and significantly more challenging treatment. I am almost apologetic usually when talking about this. I feel like an imposter in the cancer club. BUT I am having my own experience of cancer, and it is still hard physically and harder emotionally.
I am becoming pretty good at reframing:
So my breasts are swollen, bright red, and oozing -- at least I don't have an antibiotic-resistant infection!
So I'm not walking with my usual briskness -- 18-20 minute miles are still movement. I'm grateful I have the determination and energy to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and walk 3-6 miles a day.
So I'm sleeping more than usual and not reading as much -- I'm fortunate not to have to go to work daily, and I'm loving my bed and my naps.
So there are tugs and stabs with every breath, with every step -- sensation is better than numbness... YAY for sensation.
I still feel well cared for and thoroughly cared about.
Rushing out the door, so replies later, but wanted to balance the discouragement post with the Pollyanna post.
The Pollyanna Post
Thanks so much for the wonderful support you shower down upon me! After post 2594, I wanted to make clear that mostly I focus on gratitude. I was feeling discouraged so I let it out. It feels right to me to experience and express the full range of emotions, not paper things over with platitudes.
Bottom line, I am in the 1% of those dealing with cancer. Most of the cancer club has to cope with much more serious disease and significantly more challenging treatment. I am almost apologetic usually when talking about this. I feel like an imposter in the cancer club. BUT I am having my own experience of cancer, and it is still hard physically and harder emotionally.
I am becoming pretty good at reframing:
So my breasts are swollen, bright red, and oozing -- at least I don't have an antibiotic-resistant infection!
So I'm not walking with my usual briskness -- 18-20 minute miles are still movement. I'm grateful I have the determination and energy to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and walk 3-6 miles a day.
So I'm sleeping more than usual and not reading as much -- I'm fortunate not to have to go to work daily, and I'm loving my bed and my naps.
So there are tugs and stabs with every breath, with every step -- sensation is better than numbness... YAY for sensation.
I still feel well cared for and thoroughly cared about.
Rushing out the door, so replies later, but wanted to balance the discouragement post with the Pollyanna post.
and a pic before I fly away
![]()
and a pic before I fly away
![]()
Always so hot mara.
Mmmm Yummy!
Mara....you are keeping the situation under control just fine...and together with your external and inner beauty it will help you to see the end of this ordeal quiet swiftly....As always you are my inspiration and source for many past and future hard-ons....
Love, hugs and kisses
Valdo
xxxxxx
Not when you're wearing it![]()
Sensitivity is awesome!!!!!!
Many hugs and kisses sexy Mara![]()
It sucks things aren't going as you hoped sweet Mara. Sometimes the only real control we have when fighting this disease is how much positive we bring to each day. So, healing is slower than you want...but believe your healing is almost destiny and this shit is just slowing it down a bit! *giving you a supersized hug* FYC!! FYC!!FYC!!!
Extremely suckable nipple Mara![]()
You can't get discouraged. I know you just want to go from point A to point B with no deviations, but sometimes those side trips are well worth the journey. Keep a positive attitude and know that a whole community is behind you. Pulling for you to get through this ordeal. Don't worry about being upset, but just don't let a negative attitude invade you.
Good to hear your sensation is still there. I am thinking we need to see more of those pics. Because, after all it is, all about the Breasts!!!!
I think it is add some of Mara's Breasts and everything gets better.