Should fantasies come true?

[passion_fruit]

I have a difference of opinion with my husband over this and I wonder if it's a male/female thing. I maintain that some fantasies should remain just that and trying to act them out would probably ruin them and might be well out of your comfort zone. He says that unless he thinks a fantasy might actually come true it doesn't do anything for him.

What do you think?

 

[Linda_Canyon]

Depends on the fantasy.

 

[dz2681]

I think the idea that a fantasy could come true does make it more exciting and worthwhile. But there are some that should remain a fantasy in my opinion.

 

[peterson4008]

Fantasy

I actually think fantasy can sometimes be more exciting than reality. As one who has lived out many fantasies, I can tell you that they rarely turn out as awesome in real life as they do in fantasy. Just my opinion.

 

[NjoyIt]

I actually think fantasy can sometimes be more exciting than reality. As one who has lived out many fantasies, I can tell you that they rarely turn out as awesome in real life as they do in fantasy. Just my opinion.

Agree 1000%

--NjoyIt

 

[Rockstarkings]

I think the idea that a fantasy could come true does make it more exciting and worthwhile. But there are some that should remain a fantasy in my opinion.

My thinking is, there are some fantasies that would be very nice if they came true, and some other fantasies that are really best left in the fantasy realm ;-)

 

[jaF0]

I know mine never do.

 

[keatonb]

It can also be a turn on to just describe what u and ur partner might do to each other, as well.

 

[DarkPleasures]

Should fantasies come true?

Yes. .

 

[CyranoJ]

What do you think?

Fantasies that involve committing actual crimes or harming or assaulting anyone would be an obvious no, hopefully.

Fantasies that involve public display, exhibitionism or humiliation? Probably no, because they're really not nearly as fun for everyone around you and you can run into some pretty un-sexy complications, even if the worst you're risking is a fine. But... I would understand the temptation.

Fantasies that you can act out in the privacy of your own home (or some other appropriate and agreed-upon setting)? I don't see why not, as long as you take all the appropriate safety precautions if the activities involved are physically dangerous in any way. (This is especially true with some BDSM-related fantasies. There are people who just decide to give breath play or choking "a try" in bed with no real idea WTF they're doing, for instance, which is incredibly dangerous.)

 

[nataleeg]

As much as I am all for fulfilling sexual fantasies (as long as they are safe and legal, of course). I do agree that some are best left unrequited. When you fantasize while masturbating or with a partner, you are always envisioning the perfect scenario for you. Exactly how you want it to go because you know yourself and what turns you on the most. You also know what turns you off and what boundaries you have.
A real life scenario will never play out exactly within the lines your ideal ultimate fantasy. While o think planning and discussions can help this, it also takes away the spontaneity of the situation. If the real life experience falls short or even is unpleasant it spells the demise for your hot, go-to fantasies.
It's just a risk that should always be considered.
On the flip side, it could lead to a mind blowing experience which will provide masturbation fodder for the rest of your life

 

[screwher]

My wife

Damn right fantasies should come true. I frequently fantasize about other men screwing my wife. And I'd love nothing more than for another man to spend the night in my bed with my naked wife ducking her brains out.

I'd love to get PMs from any guy that would like to tell me how they would.

 

[Iceprincess12]

I think fantasies are sometimes too perfect and real life will never measure up. I would rather keep them in my head where I can relive or change them anytime I want.

 

[Sheana_V]

No, not necessarily. A good portion of my fantasies are dangerous, impossible, or would be no fun in real life.
A good exemplar is that many people have fantasies about being raped. These people however don't actually want to be raped

 

[CyranoJ]

No, not necessarily. A good portion of my fantasies are dangerous, impossible, or would be no fun in real life.
A good exemplar is that many people have fantasies about being raped. These people however don't actually want to be raped

Yeah, this especially is one of those ones that one always really hopes is obvious... but it does bear repeating, lots.

 

[lustatopia]

All fantasies, by definition, are better than real life. But the paradox is that real life, because it is really real, can be better than anything you can imagine. This is because it's impossible to imagine accurately what you have not actually experienced in life, thus a fantasy is like a sketch for a painting, or a story board for a film. It's just a line drawing of a multi-dimensional experience.

The difference is risk. Fantasies and dreams are no risk zone, anything can happen with little consequence. Fantasies are cheap, anyone can afford a couple. Reality, on the other hand is fraught with existential risks, known and unforeseen. Reality costs heaps. It is this risk, which makes reality a far more riveting and, if lucky, rewarding experience than fantasy.

The secret to a good sex life is a thrilling transmogrification of the two - fantasy soaked reality.

 

[Erosfan]

As much as I am all for fulfilling sexual fantasies (as long as they are safe and legal, of course). I do agree that some are best left unrequited. When you fantasize while masturbating or with a partner, you are always envisioning the perfect scenario for you. Exactly how you want it to go because you know yourself and what turns you on the most. You also know what turns you off and what boundaries you have.
A real life scenario will never play out exactly within the lines your ideal ultimate fantasy. While o think planning and discussions can help this, it also takes away the spontaneity of the situation. If the real life experience falls short or even is unpleasant it spells the demise for your hot, go-to fantasies.
It's just a risk that should always be considered.
On the flip side, it could lead to a mind blowing experience which will provide masturbation fodder for the rest of your life

Safe and legal are most important.
I have had the good fortune to live out some of my fantasies over time and I have not been disappointed. Some will never happen and that's OK.

 

[Missingout]

Best to have a solid plan with firm rules in place before you pursue your fantasies especially if it includes others to be involved. We went in mostly by the seat of our pants.
I'm very fortunate things worked out for the best in most cases because my wife has a solid head on her shoulders add the fact we really love each other deeply.
The things we did without that I could of easily lost her.

My biggest fantasy is cuckolding or wife share. It's still my biggest fantasy that will probably never happen again. My wife wants nothing to do with another man again yet I will say, never say never. Together we have talked that possibly down the road in our lives we might consider a swing with another couple if the right situation presented itself.

Right now she is living out her bi sexual fantasy with one other woman who she is in a relationship with. The positive side for me is I get to enjoy threesomes on occasions with them.
Even after being in this situation I still find my biggest fantasy is her with another man.

Fantasy is like a dream which you only think of the upside. Reality on the other hand is when the uninspected occurs and it will. That is why you need to think ahead of possible outcomes, plan and have firm rules.
I'm a little hung over at the moment so I hope I'm getting this across properly.

We had several problems with the cuckolding side yet not a single one with her bi fantasies becoming reality. The three of us have a perfect understanding of what this entire arrangement means. I won't say any ripples are possible because we're all human. It's been perfect balance since it began so far with communication being entirely key.
It took awhile to get to be at this level with lots of mistakes along the way. Almost all those mistakes were my fault because I was thinking with my little head.

 

[Paul_Chance]

It does depend on the extent of imagination involved in a fantasy too.

Some people have relatively simple fantasies - "make love to my girlfriend on a beach in Rio".

As opposed to "have a love triangle with Halle Berry, Tyra Banks and Oprah Winfrey".

It's a pretty wide range, so I'd say most fantasies are better off staying in the fantasy realm, when you can use them to spice up your sex life.

 

[quietlylooking]

I think I can agree with both sides. My fantasies almost always involve scenarios that are theoretically possible. I don't fantasize about having sex with movie stars, fictional characters, etc. as I don't think of those acts as being "possible". However, I do often fantasize about things that I would never in real life want to occur, but which could happen if I wanted to make them happen.

 

[WonderPonder]

I'd say it all depends on the fantasy. In my case the fantasy in question consists of my wife and her coworker who are both very sexually attracted to one another. As of now this is all new so it is only kept as sex talk while we play.
The other man has no idea that I know or that we are fantasizing about it and he won't.
This fantasy has rekindled our drab sex life to an unbelievable new level. We were having vanilla sex maybe once a month until this came up. Now we've had three straight nights of the greatest sex we're enjoyed in years. Last night was the forth night since this began and chose not to get physical with each other. We talked about it, just held off which I personally feel like I'm going to explode.
We both haven't felt anything like this in years so we're taking this slow, enjoying the fantasy aspect of it.
I truly believe this fantasy will eventually become reality sometime in the future. To put a time on it is impossible. I've received some sound advice here so I'm using that with what I already know and feel. Our relationship is rock solid, our sex life was very lackluster.
We're going out for a nice dinner together tonight, then we're going dancing and enjoying each other.
I'm trying not to get over excited about the possibilities of this becoming real. We want to enjoy this stage of the fantasy to the fullest before the next step.
I'm not a cuckold or a wife watcher. I've never even fantasized about my wife of almost 22 years being with another man until the past week. Finding this website, reading through all the posts people have written on with many different topics has really opened my eyes. Never would I thought that in a flick of a switch our sex life would not only turn itself around but be hotter than it's ever been.
Over those four nights we have 100% opened up, been completely honest letting all our sexual desires free. That right there proves how solid a foundation we have.

 

[Rusty914]

trying to act them out would probably ruin them and might be well out of your comfort zone.

What do you think?

Dear PF,

Well firstly and MOST importantly you and he need to talk out what your,
"Comfort Zone" is. Whenever things went sideways for us, it was because
one of us, usually her-lol, went contrary to what we discussed.

That being said . . . .

I don't regret anything we've done, well maybe.....well no not even that, lol.
And for two people married out of High School we've done a hell of a lot.

In the beginning there was not physical participation and that was enough.
But that changed over time, when we were ready and met the right one/s.
And 99% of what we've done we've not yet written about. We'll eventually
put that to pen, or key.

It's been a while since we've done anything in "any" lifestyle, for us life got
in the way and then we've both had health issues. But honestly we BOTH
look very fondly on the things we did and the experimentation that we
enjoyed together. All of it. The good and the not as good.

I hope that helps, but don't either of you kid yourselves about one thing.
Either way you decide it will be a big decision for you.

Rusty (& Marla)

 

[Jazzylatinmom]

I have a difference of opinion with my husband over this and I wonder if it's a male/female thing. I maintain that some fantasies should remain just that and trying to act them out would probably ruin them and might be well out of your comfort zone. He says that unless he thinks a fantasy might actually come true it doesn't do anything for him.

What do you think?

I agree with you. My boyfriend and I have some very kinky fantasies but I don't think they should all come true. I think things can get complicated if they do. I also think if you made all your fantasies come true, there's nothing left to fantasize about. I wouldn't like that because I really enjoy the sex when we are talking about these fantasies! hehehee

 

[passion_fruit]

Dear PF,

Well firstly and MOST importantly you and he need to talk out what your,
"Comfort Zone" is. Whenever things went sideways for us, it was because
one of us, usually her-lol, went contrary to what we discussed.

That being said . . . .

I don't regret anything we've done, well maybe.....well no not even that, lol.
And for two people married out of High School we've done a hell of a lot.

In the beginning there was not physical participation and that was enough.
But that changed over time, when we were ready and met the right one/s.
And 99% of what we've done we've not yet written about. We'll eventually
put that to pen, or key.

It's been a while since we've done anything in "any" lifestyle, for us life got
in the way and then we've both had health issues. But honestly we BOTH
look very fondly on the things we did and the experimentation that we
enjoyed together. All of it. The good and the not as good.

I hope that helps, but don't either of you kid yourselves about one thing.
Either way you decide it will be a big decision for you.

Rusty (& Marla)

Hi, thank you for you thoughts.

Firstly, this isn't about him trying to make me do anything I don't want to. I'm just trying to understand his viewpoint. I fantasise about stuff that will never come true, that I don't want to come true but is just hot. He says there's no point even fantasising if you know it will never happen. Each to their own I suppose.

 

[magicalmoments]

I have a difference of opinion with my husband over this and I wonder if it's a male/female thing. I maintain that some fantasies should remain just that and trying to act them out would probably ruin them and might be well out of your comfort zone. He says that unless he thinks a fantasy might actually come true it doesn't do anything for him.

What do you think?

I'm with you passion. Mind you, you don't know which should remain fantasies until after you've tried them. On hindsight I wish I'd kept my group sex, (orgy), fantasy as a fantasy. The reality has spoiled it forever.