Nervous new sub

[gorgeous_grl]

Hi new here. I introduced myself and now for the reason I joined. My husband and I have been married 3 years, very happily. Our sex has always been great but I was always left wanting something a little more. I've been interested in BDSM for a long time but was never trusting enough to ask for it. So when my husband asked for something new (rape play) I was ecstatic. After a lot of talking, research, and y/n/m list we have our first light session last night. It left me shaking and satisfied (for now). It was mild, my knees in the seat of a chair, my hands bound and pulled over the back until my chest was against the chair back. He used a wooden spoon over my body, striking my buttocks six times over the course of about five min, running it along my body in between strikes. It was hard enough to redden my skin, sharper than I had anticipated, but the marks were gone by morning. He took me after in the chair, then untied me and took me on the bed, forcing me face down until he finished. We cuddled after, and talked. He slipped easily into sleep but I didn't. I felt, excitement, nervousness, humiliation, anticipation. Is it normal for such intensity after a not so intense session? Is there something we should be doing differently? I feel practically giddy, like you do at the start of a new relationship when you're not sure where it's going to go. Advice is greatly appreciated.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Absolutely normal. After 10 years I still have trouble sleeping afterwards. Learn some relaxation techniques to calm your mind and body so you can sleep.

Welcome

 

[Primalex]

Is it normal for such intensity after a not so intense session? Is there something we should be doing differently? I feel practically giddy, like you do at the start of a new relationship when you're not sure where it's going to go. Advice is greatly appreciated.

Looks fine to me.


Just make sure to ground him occasionally; power over someone can rush to your head.

 

[gorgeous_grl]

Absolutely normal. After 10 years I still have trouble sleeping afterwards. Learn some relaxation techniques to calm your mind and body so you can sleep.

Welcome

Is there any particular site that you recommend I read up on this? Is it something I do alone or with my Dom?

 

[ecstaticsub]

Is there any particular site that you recommend I read up on this? Is it something I do alone or with my Dom?

By the sounds of it your Dom is sound asleep. Mine does the same thing. He is happy and satisfied and falls asleep holding me. Meanwhile I am wide awake with my mind on overdrive. So yeah, it is something you do yourself

I don't know of any sites to point you to I use methods that I have learned in yoga class and seminars I have gone to. I very calmly put to bed a part of my body one area at a time, very slowly and rhythmically starting at my feet.

I concentrate on relaxing my foot and then move up until my entire body and mind is relaxed. I listened to CD's long time ago to help me learn the technique. I am sure there is something on Youtube that is similar.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Sounds like adrenaline is maybe bubblin. I have mixed reviews from friends, but there is a method that is a great help for some. Seems a safe and easy thing to try if it resonates with you.

How to fall asleep in under a minute

Sounds like you and your mate are exploring and having a lovely time. Congratulations and welcome.

 

[gorgeous_grl]

Thank you, I'll have to try it. I'm relieved that these reactions are normal. I'll look into relaxation and coping techniques. Can anyone else relate?

 

[Prince Albert]

Yes very much & remember this was your 1st "real" session. the 1st time can be very powerful, heady, whxi could have contributed to your lack of sleep.

 

[FurryFury]

Nervous can = excitement.

Elation can = having trouble going to sleep. I'm never sleepy after good, kinky, sex. I'm always too high.

Good for you!

 

[IrisAlthea]

Thank you, I'll have to try it. I'm relieved that these reactions are normal. I'll look into relaxation and coping techniques. Can anyone else relate?

Yes, I can relate.
Sometimes I like staying awake, thinking it over and enjoying physical closeness.
Other times I feel a need to be alone and to move around. Going for a walk or just moving around for a while to get the adrenaline out.

I have been known to fall asleep first too.