Convince me that I'm not better off being single

[Rufus_the_Lame]

Hi I'm Rufus, a simple hearted fool who is at a crossroads in my life. Before me are three options.

1. Remain single for the rest of my life, living a simple uncomplicated existence but a little lonely at times.

2. Try and find a girlfriend on a 'normal' dating website like OK Cupid. Where the women I pm never reply and it might take 2 or 3 years of my life to even get a date.

3. Try to find someone to cyber online with, have a relationship which while erotic is also completely electronic. Also there is the potential for my card details to be stolen again; and some little tea leaf using my network access to buy PS3 games.

 

[Cubantripod]

How about just let it be. The more you try and force it the less anything will happen. Get up every day, live life and let it happen. It will happen.

 

[Rufus_the_Lame]

How about just let it be. The more you try and force it the less anything will happen. Get up every day, live life and let it happen. It will happen.

Thank you Cuban Tripod, we will make that option 4. Those are some wise words, for the last year I have been happy being single. I have just been going about my life and letting things happen. It's just in the last couple of weeks or so I've felt a stirring in my loins for a new relationship. Maybe it's just a phase and this too will pass.

 

[UnknownPath]

Hey Rufus,

My opinion would be, try mixing two or three of your options.

Like you, I have wanted to be in relationship for a while, and it isn't for the principle of the thing. For me, I want the search to be over--I want my best friend and confidant with some hot sex on the side.

Naturally I lean towards being a loner and I live in a small backwater town.

So, I have done online dating with other people through POF.com (it is a free dating site), tried to live with the idea that I will probably never find quite the man I am looking for, but still enjoy life: the friendships I have made, the roleplaying I do here if I am lonely for affection, and maybe a date now and again.

I am not saying it is a foolproof plan, but it has kind of worked for me. It may be the best option for you. And if you have to walk away from people who were possible matches because they are not quite the best fit--maybe you can still be friends with them, so if you have to live like a bachelor the rest of your life, you have some friends to help the time pass a little less drearily. And maybe one of those once-dated friends will be open to a FWB's kind of relationship.

I hope you find a solution you can handle.

 

[Rufus_the_Lame]

Like you, I have wanted to be in relationship for a while, and it isn't for the principle of the thing. For me, I want the search to be over--I want my best friend and confidant with some hot sex on the side.

Hi Unknown Path

That's the dream, it's funny how sometimes you think you're the only one until someone else comes along. I am also a loner living in a rather isolated but lovely 'wicker man' style village/town.

It's only recently I have been able to admit to myself and others; that what I want and miss isn't necessarily the larger emotion of love but the simpler notion of affection. Fwb won't work for me, I'm fiercely loyal and I couldn't handle watching the person I'm intimate with; flirting with others.

Rufus

 

[UnknownPath]

Yeah, I get that...

I understand the loyal streak, I really do. I am a loyal kind of girl, and it sucks ass when I can't find a guy who is interested in me as a person as well. I have only done one FWB's/Roleplay friendship but I had to end it because I craved the personal attachment. I knew the person I was writing with would nearly fuck anybody because that is just the way they are--and you do not walk into a FWB's situation without being prepared for that kind of mindset.

But I don't have that mindset, so I understand when you say you don't as well. It was just a thought thrown out there in case it could help in any way at all.

 

[HayleyLuvsSex]

be single,fuck whoever you want

 

[greengamegirl]

Option 4

I wonder if there is another option other than being single or looking online.

Instead of making plans, you can see where your life will lead.

I don't really get making plans to: not die alone, be married with X amount of kids, find true love, be in a relationship just to say you're in a relationship, to be single.

Any number of circumstances could prevent those plans from happening or put you in a position you didn't consider before.

You don't know what tomorrow will bring.

Option 4: see what happens.

 

[mterrence]

.....

 

[Rufus_the_Lame]

"It was just a thought thrown out there in case it could help in any way at all" - Unknown Path

Unknown path, you have been a great help just knowing that I'm not the only one.

"be single, fuck whoever you want" - Hayley Luvs Sex

Hayley, it's sweet that you think that is an option for me. Thank you, but truth be told I don't have to option to make love to anyone I want because they don't want to.

"Option 4: see what happens." - Green Game Girl

Green game girl, ideally that is the perfect solution. It is for the most part exactly what I am doing and doing nothing is something I do incredibly well!

"You should definitely give online dating another try." - M Terrence

M Terrence it is good to hear that you have had a positive experience with online dating. I am on OK Cupid at the moment and trying the "Slowly, slowly catchy monkey" approach.

 

[phil_o]

read

Read the book 'dice man' can't do any worse then taking advice from the good people on Lit.

 

[Rufus_the_Lame]

Read the book 'dice man' can't do any worse then taking advice from the good people on Lit.

That's an interesting proposal, and I was watching an episode of Big Bang Theory last night in which Sheldon rolls dice in order to decide what to do. It's not something I would choose to do myself, but I get the feeling that you may be being a little flippant? Anyway thanks for answering, have a great day!

 

[1sickbastard]

be single,fuck whoever you want

^^^This^^^

Bachelorhood isn't a bad thing. Just learn how to be happy and comfortable with yourself.
Remember also that being in a relationship is no guarantee that you won't be lonely.

 

[Rufus_the_Lame]

^^^This^^^

Bachelorhood isn't a bad thing. Just learn how to be happy and comfortable with yourself.
Remember also that being in a relationship is no guarantee that you won't be lonely.

Absolutely I couldn't agree more

 

[MortalKombatKitteh]

How about just let it be. The more you try and force it the less anything will happen. Get up every day, live life and let it happen. It will happen.

Agreed!!!!!!

 

[delugewriter]

You could always try posting an actual ad here...?

 

[Rufus_the_Lame]

You could always try posting an actual ad here...?

An interesting concept; one I did consider but I had one question to ask myself first.

What am I looking for? and therefore what am I advertising?

I think I now know the answer so watch this space for a personal ad in the very near future.