Feel Free To Parody

[pelegrino]

Chose a song, a stanza, a line even, (I think is better if you also like or admire the original version).
Write a few lyrics to fit the meter, the rhythm and the tune more or less, making fun of it, parodying to your heart's content, if you are in the mood, of course.
Mention the original song or give a link to youtube for reference.

This is my effort for tonight for a tune and some lyrics I have really loved in my life.
As Times Goes By




You must remember it,
a git is just a git,
a jerk is just a jerk,
the world will always give the elbow,
to every birk.

 

[Senna Jawa]

This is my effort for tonight for a tune and some lyrics I have really loved in my life.
As Times Goes By


You must remember it,
a git is just a git,
a jerk is just a jerk,
the world will always give the elbow,
to every birk.

--

you dismember her fair
you must remember where
princess is just princess
world's red face is just like red ass
don't leave any witness
​

Now I'll click on the link, and will listen to your favorite song.

 

[pelegrino]

John Denver - Take Me Home, Country Roads



Country roads,
take me far,
to a cool
sea side bar,
South Sardinia,
full of sweet babes,
to behold…
country roads.

 

[pensivepoet]

Folsum prison blues~j cash
I see that cop a comin
He's racin round the bend
Cuz he aint had a donut
~since half past ten
But he smells that coffee brewin
He can taste them ol sweet rolls
But he aint got time to eat one
He'll just take six to go
(riff)
Them boys what robbed the bank
They're tearin otta town
But he's chewin on a donut
And just can't put it down
~he knows he'll catch em later
He knows he can't be beat
Cuz though he's fatter than a milk cow
His cars the fastest on the street
Sooey!

 

[pelegrino]

Brilliant, PP, that's the spirit! Johnny would have liked it very much.

I like this version best, I think, out of the many available on youtube.

 

[oggbashan]

Encouragements to an Author
by oggbashan©

Why so pale and wan, fond author?
Prythee, why so pale?
Will, when working hard can’t move her,
Drinking hard prevail?
Prythee, why so pale?

Why so dull and mute, dumb author?
Prythee, why so mute?
Will, when writing well can’t win her,
Writing nothing do’t?
Prythee, why so mute?

Quit, quit, for shame! Muse she may be,
This cannot make her;
If for you she will not be a lady,
Nothing can make her:
The devil take her!

Based on ‘Encouragements to a Lover’ by Sir John Suckling (1609-1642)

A parody of this:

Sir J. Suckling

Encouragements to a Lover

WHY so pale and wan, fond lover?
Prythee, why so pale?
Will, if looking well can't move her,
Looking ill prevail?
Prythee, why so pale?

Why so dull and mute, young sinner?
Prythee, why so mute?
Will, when speaking well can't win her,
Saying nothing do't?
Prythee, why so mute?

Quit, quit, for shame! this will not move,
This cannot take her;
If of herself she will not love,
Nothing can make her:
The D——l take her!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Folsum prison blues~j cash
I see that cop a comin
He's racin round the bend
Cuz he aint had a donut
~since half past ten
But he smells that coffee brewin
He can taste them ol sweet rolls
But he aint got time to eat one
He'll just take six to go
(riff)
Them boys what robbed the bank
They're tearin otta town
But he's chewin on a donut
And just can't put it down
~he knows he'll catch em later
He knows he can't be beat
Cuz though he's fatter than a milk cow
His cars the fastest on the street
Sooey!

Whoooooooot

 

[UnderYourSpell]

The Pogues Fairytale of New York

They've got sows
big as cows
They've got highways of cars
but the rain drenches often
so let's go for a jar.
When you first caught my eye
on a cold Monday eve
you promised that
heaven was waiting for me.
I was loud
you were flashy,
the band playing trashy
and when they stopped playing
we begged please no more.
Some threesomes were swinging
your drunken friends singing,
we kissed round the corner
then you stayed overnight.
The lads of the local Rugby Club
were singing Yogi Bear
and the sirens were ringing out
across the square

 

[pensivepoet]

Same old lang syne~dan fogelberg
Met my new lover at the liquor store
I was drunk on christmas eve
Asked her if she'd like to share a snort
And she said she had to pee
Didn't notice her rough face at first
But then her bloodshot eyes met mine
I tried to hide my look of shock and horror
And fell on a case of wine
We drank a fifth of bourbon
We drank a box of wine
I did her out behind the dumpster
She didn't seem to mind
She disappeared while i was pissing
Turning snow a pale gold
It wasn't just the ugliness
But damn that chick was old!
I turned to look for just a moment
While i did another line
But she was gone just like the whiskey
Just another auld lang syne

 

[pelegrino]

Whack For The Tolley-o

I never understood in all my life why after so much road tax that I pay every year (for the maintenance of the national highways supposedly), I still have to pay excruciating tolls in most of the European countries I lived or I'm passing through. The most ridiculously expensive networks are in my opinion those of Italy, France and Switzerland, real road bandits. It has happened to me to stop and pay anew every thirty miles.
The only countries where using the national highways is free (and also the safest networks) are Germany, Britain, Ireland and I think Belgium. The rest are crap.
Why do we have to pay tolls? Where does all that money go?
According to most European constitutions it is completely unconstitutional for a private or national business or organization to stop any European citizen passing unless he pays them. They have no fucking right at all, in fact legally they don’t have a leg to stand on.
But no fucker ever took them to Brussels. I think sometimes that this (western bit) continent is inhabited by 300.000.000 wallies.
Anyway, I'm only complaining about little but very expensive Peloponnese here:


WHISKEY IN THE JAR
(Doubliners' version, cause all the other ones are just pathetic as far as folk music is concerned, and this is folk music at its best)

WHACK FOR THE TOLLEY-O

As I was going over the Artemision mountain
I spied the toll collector and his money he was counting,
he first put down his barrier and then his hand protruded,
sayin', "Get out and deliver, faithful corporate believer,
Musha rin um du rum da, Whack for the daddy-o,
Whack for the daddy-o, put money in my jar".


I said, "Lift up your barrier, I don’t have any money,
I'm bound for Kalamata, got a cold, my nose is runny,
so lift your fucking barrier, in earnest I implore you,
my money has been taken by four thieves I met before you,
Musha rin um du rum da, Whack for the money-o,
Whack for the tolley-o, the devil take your jar".

He said, "I cannot let you, I am the toll collector,
I'm working for my boss and we belong to private sector",
I said, "You are just vermin, so fuck the private sector,
your tolls are more expensive than my trip's full tank of petrol,
Musha rin um du rum da, Whack for the bossy-o,
Whack for the tolley-o, the devil take your boss".

He said, "I'll call the coppers", I said, "They are not needed,
You'll soon be dead, my friend, unfed, a parasite just wedded".
And then I drew my pistol and shot him in the face,
that's how it has begun this crazy, all night, mountain race.
Musha rin um du rum da, Whack for the tolley-o,
Whack for the bossy-o, the blood runs in the jar".

By the police I'm hunted, I'm stranded in the mountains,
I'm hiding in a cave, it's cold, I hear some water fountains,
I cannot go a roaming cause the roads are too risky,
I searched the glove compartment and I found a bottle of whiskey,
Musha rin um du rum da, Whack for the daddy-o,
Whack for the daddy-o, There's whiskey in my car.

Musha rin um du rum da, Whack for the daddy-o,
Whack for the daddy-o, There's whiskey in my car.

(fading out like a mountain spring)

 

[oggbashan]

I never understood in all my life why after so much road tax that I pay every year (for the maintenance of the national highways supposedly), I still have to pay excruciating tolls in most of the European countries I lived or I'm passing through. The most ridiculously expensive networks are in my opinion those of Italy, France and Switzerland, real road bandits. It has happened to me to stop and pay anew every thirty miles.
The only countries where using the national highways is free (and also the safest networks) are Germany, Britain, Ireland and I think Belgium. The rest are crap.
Why do we have to pay tolls? Where does all that money go?
According to most European constitutions it is completely unconstitutional for a private or national business or organization to stop any European citizen passing unless he pays them. They have no fucking right at all, in fact legally they don’t have a leg to stand on.
But no fucker ever took them to Brussels. I think sometimes that this (western bit) continent is inhabited by 300.000.000 wallies.

Sorry. Your interpretation of European Law is slightly flawed. Highways are free. Autobahn, Motorways, Freeways, Autoroutes etc. are private land, many built by commercial enterprises. They have a right to charge you.

The M6 Toll in the UK was funded commercially - so the driver has to pay.

You CAN drive around Europe on toll-free roads. It will take forever to get anywhere. You are paying for the convenience of a faster route.

In England, the first new roads built since the Romans left were toll roads in the 18th Century. Travelling on toll roads was even more of a nuisance because there could be another toll gate and charge every few miles, all run by different organisations. Those ancient toll roads had different charges for different goods and vehicles.

http://www.newforest-online.co.uk/nfolimages/new-forest-towns/eling-tide-mill-toll-sign.jpg


Remember the song "The Rock Island Line"? That railroad had different toll charges for varieties of freight.

 

[boomer177]

Returning to Geneva via a different route from a day-trip in France, my friend and I unexpectedly came upon an unmanned correct-coinage-only toll booth at the one-lane mountain tunnel at the border. Twenty-five years later, we are still sitting here.

 

[pelegrino]

Sorry. Your interpretation of European Law is slightly flawed. Highways are free. Autobahn, Motorways, Freeways, Autoroutes etc. are private land, many built by commercial enterprises. They have a right to charge you.

The M6 Toll in the UK was funded commercially - so the driver has to pay.

You CAN drive around Europe on toll-free roads. It will take forever to get anywhere. You are paying for the convenience of a faster route.

In England, the first new roads built since the Romans left were toll roads in the 18th Century. Travelling on toll roads was even more of a nuisance because there could be another toll gate and charge every few miles, all run by different organisations. Those ancient toll roads had different charges for different goods and vehicles.

http://www.newforest-online.co.uk/nfolimages/new-forest-towns/eling-tide-mill-toll-sign.jpg

http://s0.geograph.org.uk/geophotos/01/80/60/1806040_c038eaaf.jpg

Remember the song "The Rock Island Line"? That railroad had different toll charges for varieties of freight.

A law is what one makes of it, oggbashan, and so the hero in my parody effected one of many possible interpretations of it.
I have taken some legal advice from volunteer activist's groups who support and encourage people not to pay tolls.The police have come in many cases to support the road bandits but in the end they could not find a legal reason for stopping people pass and they just let them go without paying. This is happening more and more in the country I am at present (Greece), and there are signs that it started happening in other countries also. That is how the law is interpreted by many free European citizens. It is just not so well known or advertized, but nothing can stop you passing, in fact is quite illegal and unconstitutional if someone tries to do so.
So, I don’t think my interpretation is flawed, unless we take yours as the correct one.

A national high way stands on national grounds, so if a government sales or hires those grounds to private profiteers it can be considered as "ultimate" treason punishable by death. We as citizens pay enough road taxes every year for the building and maintenance of a national highways network (god knows) and there is no need for a government to renege its responsibility to build those roads and just call in the sharks to do their dirty work. I am the "people", therefore the rightful owner of the land in question and speaking as the landlord of national ground, I condemn that sale and deem it illegal on the part of any government. Most European constitutions confirm my right, but the governments ignore in most cases the constitutions forbidding them the sale of national property (remember Thatcher and the trouble we had in the 80s with the sale of most national industries?) Well she got away with it only because of the apathy on the part of the general public. I am not one to stand by and let that happen again on any national property, that's the lesson 80s Britain taught me.


Thank you for all historical information you provide.
I am uncertain whether you support the right of the profiteers to profit or the right of the people to move about freely in their countries irrespective of how many interpretations a law may have. If the first is the case I suggest you limit your driving to just M6, as the rest of Britain still maintains a non toll policy on national highways.

And last but not least, a very merry Christmas!

 

[pelegrino]

The Beatles- I want to hold your hand lyrics

I Wanna Smoke Your Skunk

oh yeah I'll tell you something
I think you'll understand
and when I say that something
I wanna smoke your skunk
I wanna smoke your sku-u-u-u-unk
I wanna smoke your skunk.

oh please give to me
some of that stuff you have
and please say to me
you'll let me smoke your skunk
Now let me smoke your sku-u-u-u-unk
I wanna smoke your skunk.

And when I search you I find something inside
you're such a dope head that my friend
you can't hide, you can't hide, you can't hide,

yeah you got that something
I think you'll understand
when I find that something
I wanna smoke your skunk
I wanna smoke your sku-u-u-u-unk
I wanna smoke your skunk.

And when I search you I find something inside
you're such a dope head that my friend
you can't hide, you can't hide, you can't hide,

yeah you got that something
I think you'll understand
when I find that something
I wanna smoke your skunk
I wanna smoke your skunk
I wanna smoke your skunk (1)
I wanna smoke your sku-u-u-u-u-u-unk

(1) ! Nice unexpected cadence here ! Line repeated 4 times instead of 3. Small touches like this one made Beatles the greatest band - (chord used: V of VI) - harmonic vocabulary far beyond the average of a typical rock musician's, in very early years.

 

[oggbashan]

A law is what one makes of it, oggbashan, and so the hero in my parody effected one of many possible interpretations of it.
I have taken some legal advice from volunteer activist's groups who support and encourage people not to pay tolls.The police have come in many cases to support the road bandits but in the end they could not find a legal reason for stopping people pass and they just let them go without paying. This is happening more and more in the country I am at present (Greece), and there are signs that it started happening in other countries also. That is how the law is interpreted by many free European citizens. It is just not so well known or advertized, but nothing can stop you passing, in fact is quite illegal and unconstitutional if someone tries to do so.
So, I don’t think my interpretation is flawed, unless we take yours as the correct one.

A national high way stands on national grounds, so if a government sales or hires those grounds to private profiteers it can be considered as "ultimate" treason punishable by death. We as citizens pay enough road taxes every year for the building and maintenance of a national highways network (god knows) and there is no need for a government to renege its responsibility to build those roads and just call in the sharks to do their dirty work. I am the "people", therefore the rightful owner of the land in question and speaking as the landlord of national ground, I condemn that sale and deem it illegal on the part of any government. Most European constitutions confirm my right, but the governments ignore in most cases the constitutions forbidding them the sale of national property (remember Thatcher and the trouble we had in the 80s with the sale of most national industries?) Well she got away with it only because of the apathy on the part of the general public. I am not one to stand by and let that happen again on any national property, that's the lesson 80s Britain taught me.


Thank you for all historical information you provide.
I am uncertain whether you support the right of the profiteers to profit or the right of the people to move about freely in their countries irrespective of how many interpretations a law may have. If the first is the case I suggest you limit your driving to just M6, as the rest of Britain still maintains a non toll policy on national highways.

And last but not least, a very merry Christmas!

The law is very different in the UK. Land is owned privately. We don't really have the same definition of a national highway or national land. We do have a Highways Agency which maintains major routes including motorways but they are acting within English Law. I think the laws in Greece are laws that are part of the Code Napoleon, which was accepted in most of Europe after Napoleon Bonaparte. It wasn't just in areas that he conquered, but the Code Napoleon was the first comprehensive set of laws that applied in most of Europe. I might be incorrect, but certainly the law on highways differs in the UK.

Toll roads were created in England in the 18th Century and each was established by law. Some of those ancient ones still exist. Where they do, they were and are on private land.

The modern toll roads and bridges, such as the M6 Toll, Dartford Crossing Tunnels and Bridge, were set up legally. The politicians promised that when the construction costs of the Dartford Crossing were paid off, the tolls would be removed. They broke that promise, and although it has been the subject of substantial legal challenges, the courts have upheld the continuing tolls.

Other roads are maintained and built by our County Councils and Unitary Authorities. They charge householders, including me, a substantial sum each year for roads. The government adds car tax and fuel taxes so I pay three times, and again when I use the Dartford Crossing, or enter the Congestion Charging Zone in Central London. All those charges have been challenged in the courts by our motoring and road haulier organisations - unsuccessfully.

In the UK if you were to refuse to pay a toll, you would be fined. If you refused to pay the fine, you would be summoned to court. If you failed to pay the court's fine, the bailiffs would be sent to your house to remove possessions, including your car, to the value of the fine.

If, by refusing to pay the toll, you blocked the road for other traffic, the Police would be called and you would be charged with obstruction - preventing the free movement of traffic. Your car could be seized on the spot and you would be left at the side of the road.

I don't like tolls. I don't like tolls that are continued when their purpose has been met. I will pay a toll on the M6 for my convenience. I will pay tolls on Autoroutes in France and I price my journey to take account of those tolls. But I don't otherwise pay the French Government for the use of their roads, so I pay up.

Recently there were major roadworks in South West England that caused massive delays. A farmer built a short dirt road across his own land that enabled people to avoid the roadworks and he charged a toll for use of that road. I think he made £100,000 in tolls but the cost of creating that road and removing it afterwards was slightly more than £100,000 so he made a loss. But he was very popular locally for doing it. He saved many people hours of waiting in traffic jams. He was acting within English Law.

I think that is the main difference between you and I. What could be challenged in Greece under Greek or European law has been frequently proven to have the law's backing in English Law. Just don't try to avoid paying the few tolls we have in the UK. It would be a long walk back to Greece.

Best wishes to you and yours for a Happy Christmas and a toll-free New Year.

PS. Don't tell the Greek Government about the London Congestion Charge. It might give them ideas.

Edited for PPS: Your poem shows one of the important functions of poetry - to make people think about subjects and ideas they wouldn't otherwise consider. Congratulations!

PPPS: I've remembered. In the UK, the highways are the "Queen's Highways". The offence of obstruction is for 'Obstructing the Queen's Highway', so presumably only Her Majesty has the legal right to use them without paying a toll or taxes. I suppose that the ultimate penalty for obstructing the Queen's Highway is to be convicted of 'Treason' but the penalty for Treason is no longer execution, but being 'Detained at Her Majesty's Pleasure' i.e. as long as she and her justices think appropriate. Annoying Her Majesty is still dangerous!