Bad line of the day

[MagicFingers]

This is so bad, it's funny. Hope you enjoy it too.

"As she touched him she felt his tool grow slowly in her hand very quickly and she just kept stroking it."

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Yeah, how does a tool grow slowly, very quickly?

Boggles the mind.

 

[PayDay]

I love bad nomenclature.

I find the OP sentence to be epic.

 

[Handley_Page]

This is so bad, it's funny. Hope you enjoy it too.

"As she touched him she felt his tool grow slowly in her hand very quickly and she just kept stroking it."

Do tell, please. Where did you find this particular gem ?

 

[PayDay]

Do tell, please. Where did you find this particular gem ?

This---^

 

[Privates1stClass]

Bad Line of the day

"As she touched him she felt his tool grow slowly in her hand very quickly and she just kept stroking it."

Well, it could be that she was at a hardware store, and the sales person was demonstrating an electric screwdriver for her. Tool time!

 

[DreamCloud]

Well, I understood it:
She very quickly felt how slowly it was growing.


I really hope I didn't write this - maybe in one of my drunken 3 AM epiphanies.

 

[lovecraft68]

This is so bad, it's funny. Hope you enjoy it too.

"As she touched him she felt his tool grow slowly in her hand very quickly and she just kept stroking it."

Seeing this drives home the reason many writer's stress shying away from adverbs.

remove them and....

As she touched him she felt his tool grow in her hand and she just kept stroking it.

Its a passable sentence. I would end it "and kept stroking it" but it is more understandable without the LY wordage. This is something I've been working hard on in my newer stories.

 

[Carnevil9]

You people have never taken calculus? The "slowly" is the first derivative of penis size with respect to time, and the "quickly" is the second derivative. It was growing slowly, but quickly increasing its rate of growth.

I know mine does!

 

[PayDay]

Well, it could be that she was at a hardware store, and the sales person was demonstrating an electric screwdriver for her. Tool time!

Plot Bunny Win---^

 

[MagicFingers]

Where?

It was from a story that I had just read. Not a Lit story! Sorry, I should have stayed here. Sometimes I read .txt offline while updates are running.

What about the "touched him" and "kept stroking..."? That's a jump too.

Loved all the posts.
Anyone else spot a good-bad sentence?