Nice guys finish last?

[TallTimbers35]

With many apologies to certain people, it seems that this thread has stirred some emotions. Therefore I am rescinding it (at least as best Lit will allow).

To those hurt...my undying apologies.

to the rest, thank you for your passionate replies

Nice guys are sometimes real idiots.

Leaving Lit as a result. Thanks all.

 

[TallTimbers35]

.......................

 

[TallTimbers35]

Just an FYI...If you PM me and ask for a reply and your inbox is full....it makes it a bit more difficult. I'm very interested in replying, so clear some room and drop me another line.

 

[YAK411976]

I know what you mean. I used to think it was just the douche bags who seemed to get the girls. However it does seem the smart girls grow up. Those that don't aren't worth the time.

 

[DesEsseintes]

When it comes to gentlemen and ladies, they tend to appreciate it if you don't finish first.

 

[SxeSub]

My take on the nice guy syndrome: I used to say this all the time. I have a ton of friends that are girls and every time I'd bring up going on a date they'd say the phrase I hated the most: "we're just friends". What I realized is that I "made my move" to late. I always tried to be the friend first and lover second. Now I make my move early. Tell them I'm interested and go for a kiss within the first few encounters. /shrugs. It's worked for me. Good luck.

 

[southern_gal]

Guys, please don't buy that old adage. Please. Nice guys will never go out of style. Just be open to suggestions outside your comfy circle. But nice, sexy guys are always always always in demand. Trust me.

 

[StacyLeigh]

I feel for you TT35... Often times, nice girls draw the short straw too.

 

[L0tus]

Nice guys finish last but guess what? At least they finish.

 

[xanderra]

so true

I feel the same way also... I guess it also doesn't help me having a weird personality

 

[Litoname]

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[NiceNastyMann]

This is worse than a cult. "Can't get <fill in the blank> because I'm too nice, darn it."

Look at Minnesota. Look at Canada. If niceness was a terminal disease there'd be no one living there.

 

[xanderra]

This is worse than a cult. "Can't get <fill in the blank> because I'm too nice, darn it."

Look at Minnesota. Look at Canada. If niceness was a terminal disease there'd be no one living there.

Your right this is worse then a cult... There is no koolaid

 

[SwtSassyNrse26]

I for one hope and pray that nice guys never go out of style. Be true to yourself. And as one poster worded it always be open to trying new things. A great personality is very sexy.

PS......my birth state is Utah

 

[mike_confident]

just keep trying

 

[Paul_Chance]

I Don't Buy It

Next time a woman tries to move you into the friend zone - try this - say "Great! Because I sleep with ALL my friends!". Unless you happen to want to be in the friend zone - simply don't let them put you there. Be direct, use your humor and wit, and simply reject being sent there.

I'm, by nature, a nice guy - I'm pleasant, easy going, relatively drama free and sincerely interested in people. I am also a guy - so sex matters and is important. Years ago I learned how to stay out of the friend zone (unless that was where I wanted to be - make no mistake, friends are important in this life).

I have a few friends who vocalize the "nice guys finish last" sentiment. It is usually out of one of two circumstances.

In the first, they simply do not know how to move out of the friend zone - they choke, hesitate, or simply have no idea what to do next. (I am watching the playoffs, LOL, so I am quite proud that I avoided baseball metaphors.)

In the second circumstance it is far more specific - usually involving jealously that someone they had a sexual interest in chose someone else - usually someone they perceive as being a bad guy. The answer there is this - relationships are complex beasties and in the real world they are far more about the balance of things - many, many things - that they are simply not aware of. Things happening inside both the object of their affection AND inside the bad guy.

If you're the nice guy who keeps finishing last (not getting picked), pay attention to the details and see what is going there and learn the skills to close. One of the things I see in the nice guys who finish last is they are often totally unaware of the complete package they're presenting - they don't see the problem as being something within them that they can work on and change.

Some nice guys do get screwed (and not in the good way), when that happens, learn the lesson and don't repeat it. If you're firmly in the friend zone - well hell, try asking your friends how the hell to get out of it.

Good luck.

 

[StacyLeigh]

Is that really what you think? That guys should wait to be nice until a girl is deemed worthy? That's a pretty douchey thing to say.

It sucks that's nice guys get shafted but that's only by girls who were never right for them in the first place. Might as well just be yourself from the beginning. Getting hurt sucks but it's better than living behind a wall.

Argh,

I hate this topic.

The only nice guys who finish last are the ones who hand out their kindness like it's fucking candy on Halloween. The unfortunate part is that's what most do.

If you're a nice guy constantly getting the short end of the stick, ask yourself one simple question: When was the last time a girl actually deserved or earned a chance to see your "nice guy" persona? If you go out of your way to make her feel special when she really hasn't done anything to be considered special you only have yourself to blame.

Don't reward girls for bad behavior

It's a very simple rule any guy can pick up.

 

[ElijaRDC]

Ladies and gents, the thing is, just being nice isn't enough.

Relationships require chemistry and, usually, some level of compatibility.

Being a nice person should be just one part of the package.

 

[NotReallyBatman]

They don't. There comes a time when being nice makes you a pushover. I believe you should always be nice, holding doors, etc. But when you become a pushover you're no longer considering dating material. It's a fine line.

 

[wildchild24143]

Sometimes nice guys don't finish at all, and if they do its all too often on the floor of their own shower

 

[k_m_d_]

My take on the nice guy syndrome: I used to say this all the time. I have a ton of friends that are girls and every time I'd bring up going on a date they'd say the phrase I hated the most: "we're just friends". What I realized is that I "made my move" to late. I always tried to be the friend first and lover second. Now I make my move early. Tell them I'm interested and go for a kiss within the first few encounters. /shrugs. It's worked for me. Good luck.

Pretty much this.

 

[ElijaRDC]

Pretty much this.

How's that working out for you??

JK, JK!!!

But I had to

 

[xanderra]

Sometimes nice guys don't finish at all, and if they do its all too often on the floor of their own shower

"gasps" have you been stalking me?

 

[k_m_d_]

How's that working out for you??

JK, JK!!!

But I had to

I'm not saying I do it, but I know that not making a move early enough (largely because I can't read people well enough to feel comfortable trying) is why I get friendzoned.

 

[ElijaRDC]

I'm not saying I do it, but I know that not making a move early enough (largely because I can't read people well enough to feel comfortable trying) is why I get friendzoned.

I'm not saying the point isn't legitimate, but I had to go for the joke.