New Beginnings

[wtexcat]

Could someone please come fondle my ass and tell me if these jeans look okay?

Oh yes they look wonderful.....and I wish I could fondle it...

 

[ohverbatum7]

Could someone please come fondle my ass and tell me if these jeans look okay?


I didn't Know I was so fond of a fondle until I saw you in those jeans.

 

[cshaks]

My rant. Though, I am guising this as a public service announcement if you will. Some dating advice that also applies to PM's and chats.

Please learn to fucking spell. Please know the difference between there, their and they're and use them properly. Also, your knowledge of your and you're would be greatly appreciated. Please learn to form complete sentences, including punctuation. And for the love of all that's holy and unholy - stop fucking using the word "cum" in ways you find clever. You're welcum - cum on over - are you twelve? Stop.

Lord knows I make grammar mistakes, I'm not judging everything that gets written to me based on the rules of the English language. But fuck, you want to turn me on? You want me to be excited about your PM's and texts and emails? Words baby. Use your fucking words. You could be an ugly ass mother fucker and still seduce me into your virtual bed with your words. The brain is a powerful sex organ my friends.

So where is this coming from? What got me all riled up?

I'm happy to say that my inbox is relatively drivel free. Though I do cringe and parts of my soul die a little when I read some of the crap that comes in -but I digress.

A boy/man from highschool - he's been all up my grill the second he found out I was single. I hadn't even moved out of my house with my ex and he was messaging me on Facebook asking me out. Finally last night I gave him my phone number so he could holler at me a bit, I thought it would be a fun way to kill some time and get my flirt on. Plus he was pretty cute back in the day and I did have a bit of a crush on him back then.

Four hours of my life are now wasted. The last three hours that we texted I honestly kept going because I was so confused and was just trying to figure out what the fuck he was trying to say. It takes me FIVE-EVER to write a text because I swear I write paragraphs compared to the three to four words that come back at me. I'm not saying you need to write some verbose Shakespeare shit, but c'mon!

It all ended at three in the morning with me finally just saying, "No, seriously dude, what the fuck are you talking about?"

To which he replied, "O U now." And it took me a second to realize he meant, "Oh, you know." And I didn't. I didn't now or know, and I turned off my phone and went to bed.

This is not an invitation for you to wax poetic about titty fucking me or filling me with your hot sperm. It's just merely an insight into some of the human beings on the receiving end of your messages.

Peace out.

I only just discovered this thread, somehow I missed it, and I have to say that I absolutely love this rant! As well as all the incredible pictures that you have been teasing us with.
And by the way, those jeans are absolutely perfect, don't you dare change a thing....

Cheers from down under.

 

[EndlessNameless]

Since I love your rant so much, I have taken the liberty of translating it to txtspk. Your wel"cum", signed, your friendly lit asshole.

My rant. Though, I M guising DIS az a public srvic announcement f U wiL. som d8ing advice dat also applies 2 PM's & chats.

pls Lern 2 fkn spL. pls knO d difference Btwen there, thR & they're & uz dem properly. Also, yor knowLdG of yor & you're wud b gr8ly appreciated. pls Lern 2 form complEt sentences, including punctuation. & 4 d luv of aL that's holy & unholy - stop fkn UzN d wrd "cum" n ways U find clever. You're welcum - cum on Ovr - R U twelve? Stop.

Lord knows I mAk grammar mistakes, I'm not judging evrtng dat gets RitN 2 me basD on d RulZ of d eng lngwij. bt fuck, U wnt 2 turn me on? U wnt me 2 b Xited bout yor PM's & texts & emails? wrds ~. uz yor fkn wrds. U c%d b an ugLE (_!_) mum fuxor & stil CdUs me in2 yor virtual bed w yor wrds. d brain iz a powerful SX organ my fRnds.

So whr iz DIS comin from? wot got me aL riled up?

I'm 2 sA dat my inbox iz relatively drivel frE. tho I do cringe & parts of my soul die a ltl wen I rED som of d crp dat comes n -but I digress.

A boy/man frm highschool - he's Bin aL ^ my grill d 2nd he found out I wz sngL. I hadn't evN muvD out of my hows w my ex & he wz msgN me on Facebook asking me out. finalE lst nyt I gave him my fone # so he c%d holler @ me a bit, I thawt it wud b a way 2 kill som tym & git my flirt on. Plus he wz pritE Qt bak n d dA & I did hav a bit of a crush on him bak thN.

4 hours of my Lyf R nw ;>. d lst 3 hours dat we texted I honestly kept goin cuz I wz so confused & wz jst trying 2 figur out wot d feck he wz trying 2 sA. It takes me FIVE-EVER 2 wrte a txt cuz I swear I wrte paragraphs compared 2 d 3 2 4 wrds dat cum bak @ me. I'm not saying U nEd 2 wrte som verbose shAkspEr shit, bt c'mon!

It aL endD @ 3 n d morn w me finalE jst saying, "No, CreslE dude, wot d feck R U talkin about?"

2 whch he replied, "O U now." & it t%k me a 2nd 2 rElIs he meant, "Oh, U know." & I didn't. I didn't nw o know, & I turnD off my fone & went 2 bed.

DIS iz not an invitation 4 U 2 wax poetic bout titty fkn me o filling me w yor hot sperm. It's jst meRlE an insight in2 som of d hUmN beings on d receiving nd of yor messages.

(-<-) out.

 

[Prince Albert]

Hey sexy lady, glad you are well. Congrads on the new job. Yes your ass, & rest of you, look wonderful in those!!!

 

[Wolfking05]

Fuck me, I am coughing now because you had me laughing so hard at your rant and lil follow up lol

 

[Wolfking05]

Is it? I had no idea! I was trying to find panties to match. I had to stop myself when I hit the rack of Harry Potter shirts



I did, though I won't tell anyone how...hehe...but I did!

Now you are just teasing:caning:

You definitely need to get matching panties

 

[BeardInHerJuice]

New Additions

Clicked few snaps earlier. Quality may not be good

 

[hatlover123]

*Ordered a cup of hot sperm from Starbucks*


*doesn't know what to do with it now...*

This thread has me confused.....

 

[original_pk10]

*Ordered a cup of hot sperm from Starbucks*


*doesn't know what to do with it now...*

This thread has me confused.....

hahahaha!!!!!!!! watch THIS

 

[original_pk10]

You just won the internet EN!!!!!!!!!! This had me rolling with laughter!!!!!!!!!!!

Since I love your rant so much, I have taken the liberty of translating it to txtspk. Your wel"cum", signed, your friendly lit asshole.

My rant. Though, I M guising DIS az a public srvic announcement f U wiL. som d8ing advice dat also applies 2 PM's & chats.

pls Lern 2 fkn spL. pls knO d difference Btwen there, thR & they're & uz dem properly. Also, yor knowLdG of yor & you're wud b gr8ly appreciated. pls Lern 2 form complEt sentences, including punctuation. & 4 d luv of aL that's holy & unholy - stop fkn UzN d wrd "cum" n ways U find clever. You're welcum - cum on Ovr - R U twelve? Stop.

Lord knows I mAk grammar mistakes, I'm not judging evrtng dat gets RitN 2 me basD on d RulZ of d eng lngwij. bt fuck, U wnt 2 turn me on? U wnt me 2 b Xited bout yor PM's & texts & emails? wrds ~. uz yor fkn wrds. U c%d b an ugLE (_!_) mum fuxor & stil CdUs me in2 yor virtual bed w yor wrds. d brain iz a powerful SX organ my fRnds.

So whr iz DIS comin from? wot got me aL riled up?

I'm 2 sA dat my inbox iz relatively drivel frE. tho I do cringe & parts of my soul die a ltl wen I rED som of d crp dat comes n -but I digress.

A boy/man frm highschool - he's Bin aL ^ my grill d 2nd he found out I wz sngL. I hadn't evN muvD out of my hows w my ex & he wz msgN me on Facebook asking me out. finalE lst nyt I gave him my fone # so he c%d holler @ me a bit, I thawt it wud b a way 2 kill som tym & git my flirt on. Plus he wz pritE Qt bak n d dA & I did hav a bit of a crush on him bak thN.

4 hours of my Lyf R nw ;>. d lst 3 hours dat we texted I honestly kept goin cuz I wz so confused & wz jst trying 2 figur out wot d feck he wz trying 2 sA. It takes me FIVE-EVER 2 wrte a txt cuz I swear I wrte paragraphs compared 2 d 3 2 4 wrds dat cum bak @ me. I'm not saying U nEd 2 wrte som verbose shAkspEr shit, bt c'mon!

It aL endD @ 3 n d morn w me finalE jst saying, "No, CreslE dude, wot d feck R U talkin about?"

2 whch he replied, "O U now." & it t%k me a 2nd 2 rElIs he meant, "Oh, U know." & I didn't. I didn't nw o know, & I turnD off my fone & went 2 bed.

DIS iz not an invitation 4 U 2 wax poetic bout titty fkn me o filling me w yor hot sperm. It's jst meRlE an insight in2 som of d hUmN beings on d receiving nd of yor messages.

(-<-) out.

 

[hatlover123]

hahahaha!!!!!!!! watch THIS

...I want my extra large hot cum....

 

[EndlessNameless]

You just won the internet EN!!!!!!!!!! This had me rolling with laughter!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank god for internet translators. It was literally a copy/paste. I've always hated text speak and the like. Even when I was on internet chat years ago some things annoyed me. Is it REALLY so fucking hard to type out "you" instead of "u"!? It's two more letters. Damn. Even when texting I don't go for perfect but I certainly don't type out that mangled shit. Have you ever seen anyone type out ebonics? Holy fuck, please stab me in the brain.

 

[original_pk10]

Thank god for internet translators. It was literally a copy/paste. I've always hated text speak and the like. Even when I was on internet chat years ago some things annoyed me. Is it REALLY so fucking hard to type out "you" instead of "u"!? It's two more letters. Damn. Even when texting I don't go for perfect but I certainly don't type out that mangled shit. Have you ever seen anyone type out ebonics? Holy fuck, please stab me in the brain.

You need to watch jacksfilms on YouTube and watch the Your Grammar Sucks videos. OMG...best ever!!!! So fucking funny.

 

[original_pk10]

...I want my extra large hot cum....

LOL, yes with the hot cum...the cinnabun jizz

 

[original_pk10]

Hey sexy lady, glad you are well. Congrads on the new job. Yes your ass, & rest of you, look wonderful in those!!!

Thank you PA!!!!!!

Fuck me, I am coughing now because you had me laughing so hard at your rant and lil follow up lol

Hahaha, I love to go off sometimes. Every couple months I just can't help myself.

Clicked few snaps earlier. Quality may not be good

nice! thank you for sharing

 

[original_pk10]

I enjoyed your Sunday morning rant. It made me smile and educated me at the same time. While I was tempted to write some crappy reply using bad spelling and illegal use of the semicolon, I thought it would be best to just say thank you.

I did want to point out that while you mentioned your and you're you forgot to mention "yore" (JK

You're absolutely correct, I left one out! Dammit.

I hope that fella doesn't actually talk that ignorant. That would be sad.

I haven't spoken to him, but he probably does.

Omg u better scoop him up while the getting is good! What a catch! Srsly!


I'm going to hug you so tight and I'm not letting you pull away until you breathe. That was quite the rant. So much anger! Stop that! You're ruining that beautiful smile. There's no use stressing over someone else's ignorance. Sounds like this guy did you a tremendous favor and steered you away right from the start.

Now loosen up. You sounds tense babe. Here, lie down over there. Sounds like you could use a long, sensual butt rub to ease that stress.

OK, maybe that's just a cheesy excuse to feel up your ass again. You can't blame me sheesh.

You better be having a splendid day or I will have to find you.

*takes your hugs and your ass rub* thank you, I needed that

Congratulations ! PK I couldn't agree more with your Rant. Guys can
always at times be Crude and Rude.

Thank you

if you want you can come cycling with me.....i woke up in my bed with shorts on. cat laying on the floor. I think she meowed at me.

Aw, hello kitty!

Winner winner, chikn dinner!!

Hahaha, he is STILL texting me. Dude is THIRSTY.

turn this way... I think I can help...

see... this button in front shouldn't be closed... and the zipper... should be down...

you know... some kids like to have their pants ride below their butt...

like this!

NOW... about that ass fondling...

hehehe

on my way

hell yes

I will!!!! Damn, they look way better than ok. They look awesomely great!!!! But then they are on you.

aw, shucks!!!!!!!!

Enjoy your time at the fair. Family time is great time.

We had a fantastic time.

Fondle fondle.... I say that sexy ass of yours make Levi Strauss proud of making Jeans in the first place.

hehe, thank you!

Yeah, they look great....Although.....
Would look better crumpled up around your ankles!!!!

they sure would!

Sure thing...in the name of letting you know how those jeans look course.

LMAO, captain obvious, right?

Butt, butt, butt...I'm a breast man!

I just have this to say about that, "nice jeans, can I talk you out of them?"

haha, oh you!

I don't even need to touch it to tell you it's a magnificent ass in those jeans. The question is how early can I take them off. They're in the way woman!

How early can you take them off? I'll drop them before you hit the door...*grins*

No...they look terrible! Take them off now!!

hahahahaha

I adore your rants, you miniature sex goddess, and totally agree with you, especially about the homophones and coming versus that ridiculousness with the U. And don't get me started on misuse of the apostrophe.

But really, I came here to say YAY YOU on the job
and thank you for your gorgeous pics

thank you!

Oh yes they look wonderful.....and I wish I could fondle it...

it's nice and squeezable.

Could someone please come fondle my ass and tell me if these jeans look okay?


I didn't Know I was so fond of a fondle until I saw you in those jeans.

hehe

I only just discovered this thread, somehow I missed it, and I have to say that I absolutely love this rant! As well as all the incredible pictures that you have been teasing us with.
And by the way, those jeans are absolutely perfect, don't you dare change a thing....

Cheers from down under.

Oh thank you for stopping by!!!!!!!!!!

 

[BradBigBrain]

Amber is the color of your energy!

 

[hatlover123]

Amber is the color of your energy!

My energy is the colour of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.

 

[original_pk10]

My energy is rainbow tie dye with glittery heart shaped confetti...and whip cream.

 

[original_pk10]

My energy is the colour of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.

I think your energy is more like the color of Jabba the Hutt. Sort of an off color, puce and olive murky grey thing.

 

[BradBigBrain]

My energy is rainbow tie dye with glittery heart shaped confetti...and whip cream.

No doubt, my little lover. With some super hero mixed in...

Like a fool I feel in love with you...you turned my whole world upside down.

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

Could someone please come fondle my ass and tell me if these jeans look okay?

I'll be right over! Btw, do you also need someone to tell you if your T-shirt is a proper fit?

 

[hatlover123]

I think your energy is more like the color of Jabba the Hutt. Sort of an off color, puce and olive murky grey thing.

Man...that got me hard.

You have no idea how much I want to put my hair up into a bun on each side of my head and be chained to his slippery worm-like body.

Fuck...

I've said to much.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Suicide blonde, suicide blonde
Suicide blonde, suicide blonde
Suicide blonde was the colour of her hair
Like a cheap distraction
For a new affair
She knew it would finish
Before it began
Something tells me you lost the plan