Having Trouble Reaching Orgasm? Here's What Might Help

[JackLuis]

Having Trouble Reaching Orgasm? Here's What Might Help

Apparently, ladies, it really is all in your head. A recent study published in the current issue of Sexologies finds that for females, the key to orgasms might not be in sex itself, but in thinking sexy thoughts. A poll of more than 250 French women found that for those who were able to focus on their bodies and steer their thoughts to the erotic during intercourse, they were more likely to be “orgasmic.”

 

[StrangeLife]

Women need to watch more porn...

 

[patientlee]

Having Trouble Reaching Orgasm? Here's What Might Help

Simple as that.

 

[StrangeLife]

 

[Aynmair]

Women need to watch more porn...

Don't know about other women, but reading porn/erotica is much more effective for me than watching it.

 

[Handley_Page]

ROFL

 

[allamagione]

Yep. My husband's good, but he just can't do what that gangbang fantasy can do.

 

[Privates1stClass]

An article by the same author says that eating apples also helps women enjoy sex more.

So there you go, drink hard cider and have sexy thoughts.

http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/fruit-makes-women-enjoy-sex-more

 

[robertreams]

So all I have to do to assure my woman of great orgasms is get inside her head? Oh, well, in that case. . .

here's a tip. Going out for the evening? Put a dot (with a magic marker) at the base of her thumb. Go to dinner, bowling, (not to a dark movie) tell her each time she sees the dot to thnk of what might happen later. Ths works really well.

 

[TxRad]

So all I have to do to assure my woman of great orgasms is get inside her head? Oh, well, in that case. . .

here's a tip. Going out for the evening? Put a dot (with a magic marker) at the base of her thumb. Go to dinner, bowling, (not to a dark movie) tell her each time she sees the dot to thnk of what might happen later. Ths works really well.

A butt plug up her ass works just as well, if not better.

 

[VenusButterflies]

Definitely true. If I have trouble reaching orgasm during sex, I start fantasizing.

But the best kind of sex is the sex where you are so stimulated by what's happening that you don't even remember to fantasize, because you don't have to.

So here's a question: is it really up to the woman to ultimately get herself off, by fantasizing during sex? Or should the male take some responsibility/be more attentive to what turns the woman on (provided they have talked about it)? I'm not saying that women shouldn't take the same responsibility -- women should also be more attentive to what turns their partner(s) on.

 

[patientlee]

Definitely true. If I have trouble reaching orgasm during sex, I start fantasizing.

But the best kind of sex is the sex where you are so stimulated by what's happening that you don't even remember to fantasize, because you don't have to.

So here's a question: is it really up to the woman to ultimately get herself off, by fantasizing during sex? Or should the male take some responsibility/be more attentive to what turns the woman on (provided they have talked about it)? I'm not saying that women shouldn't take the same responsibility -- women should also be more attentive to what turns their partner(s) on.

Over complicating the matter is the fastest route to dissatisfaction. Trust me. If something can be overcomplicated, I've overcomplicated it. Just fuck and have fun.

 

[TxRad]

Definitely true. If I have trouble reaching orgasm during sex, I start fantasizing.

But the best kind of sex is the sex where you are so stimulated by what's happening that you don't even remember to fantasize, because you don't have to.

So here's a question: is it really up to the woman to ultimately get herself off, by fantasizing during sex? Or should the male take some responsibility/be more attentive to what turns the woman on (provided they have talked about it)? I'm not saying that women shouldn't take the same responsibility -- women should also be more attentive to what turns their partner(s) on.

Something I learned early in life, pay attention to your partner and see what turns them on. Use that information as best you can. You got the invitation to her bed or her to your bed. If you want a rematch, you better do it right the first time.

 

[allamagione]

Definitely true. If I have trouble reaching orgasm during sex, I start fantasizing.

But the best kind of sex is the sex where you are so stimulated by what's happening that you don't even remember to fantasize, because you don't have to.

So here's a question: is it really up to the woman to ultimately get herself off, by fantasizing during sex? Or should the male take some responsibility/be more attentive to what turns the woman on (provided they have talked about it)? I'm not saying that women shouldn't take the same responsibility -- women should also be more attentive to what turns their partner(s) on.

In some cases, fantasizing is just so much easier than trying to explain.

So, men. Do y'all get off on physical sensation alone, or do you need the thinky thoughts, too?

 

[Handley_Page]

So here's a question: is it really up to the woman to ultimately get herself off, by fantasizing during sex? Or should the male take some responsibility/be more attentive to what turns the woman on (provided they have talked about it)? I'm not saying that women shouldn't take the same responsibility -- women should also be more attentive to what turns their partner(s) on.

Something I learned early in life, pay attention to your partner and see what turns them on. Use that information as best you can. You got the invitation to her bed or her to your bed. If you want a rematch, you better do it right the first time.

Of course, it really really helps if you've spoken about it. Sadly, this did NOT happen in all too many of my encounters. She's so wrapped up in her head that external signs are lost or invisible (this includes the "OMG that's the spot OOOO h h h " or whatever.).

 

[Dyslexicea]

Having Trouble Reaching Orgasm? Here's What Might Help

Apparently, ladies, it really is all in your head. A recent study published in the current issue of Sexologies finds that for females, the key to orgasms might not be in sex itself, but in thinking sexy thoughts. A poll of more than 250 French women found that for those who were able to focus on their bodies and steer their thoughts to the erotic during intercourse, they were more likely to be “orgasmic.”

Sexist much, sure I know it's written by a woman, Agata Blaszczak-Boxe who qualification for writing the article in Live Science are an interested in psychology, climate change and tech.

Women in the study who reported regularly reaching orgasm during sex seemed to be more focused on their bodily sensations during intercourse than the women who had trouble having regular orgasms with their partners, the researchers said.

Not to mention the male sexist definition of sex, it's not sex unless one of them happens to have a penis and it involves sticking that thingy into one of our vaginas.

"It seems that women have no problem" focusing on erotic fantasies when they are on their own, De Sutter told Live Science. But women who do not have regular orgasms during intercourse seem to have more difficulties focusing their attention on the present moment when they have sex with their partners, she said.

Obviously if I'm thinking about what to cook for our dinner party next week I'm not likely to have an orgasm. Maybe the lack of having orgasms is why some women think about cooking instead of having sex so fantastic she doesn't need to be thinking erotic thoughts at all she's living it, just sayin. I'm not always 'In The Mood' when we have sex but it doesn't take long before she has me in the mood and I'm not thinking about cooking, I'm not thinking erotic thoughts, I'm experiencing what's happening to my body and mind. Hint, Hint jump on, jump off sex isn't ever mood inspiring.

I'm always suspicious of an article which quotes(note quote marks above) only a few words while filling in the rest with the writer's thoughts. I don't really want to disparage De Sutter's research since Live Science, which isn't actually a scientific journal, failed to give any links to her research. Nor do we know if De Sutter really made reference to intercourse when it comes to our orgasms. The study did include 90% of women who were heterosexual, so I'm of the opinion if the study was about women having orgasm during intercourse it would have been 100% heterosexual which leads me to believe the study was about orgasms period, not any particular type.

Not much of a scientific study with only 250 women. What really makes this study suspect is that of the 250 women, 176 regularly have orgasms during sex, if its sex as defined by Live Science, intercourse, it's really strange since real scientific studies have shown that somewhere between 13%(lowest I've found) and 30%(highest I've found) of us are even capable of having orgasms from vaginal penetration, regardless of what's doing the penetrating. Maybe it's just that French men have magic dicks.

Let me quote from the science of women's orgasms as written by Anne Koedt although written in 1970 this is still the scientific fact, "Whenever female orgasm and frigidity are discussed, a false distinction is made between the vaginal and the clitoral orgasm. Frigidity has generally been defined by men as the failure of women to have vaginal orgasms. Actually the vagina is not a highly sensitive area and is not constructed to achieve orgasm. It is the clitoris which is the center of sexual sensitivity and which is the female equivalent of the penis." The truth is the only kind of orgasms we can have is clitoral, it's just the lucky few who can have enough indirect clitoral stimulation during penetration to produce an orgasm, the same goes for nipple and mental orgasms, the only difference is the woman's own body, not a dick, hand or dildo, is doing the indirect stimulation.

Why is it you guys are never blamed for our not having orgasms. I do always have at least one orgasm during sex, rarely only one, most of the time many more than one, of course I happen to not be with a man, thank god(small g intentional). Just another article written to blame us for our not having orgasms relieving men of any responsibility to make sure his partner gets hers too. No wonder so many men complain their wives and lovers lose interest in sex, what good is it to have sex with a man who doesn't give his partner an orgasm.

Enough blaming you men, we live in a fucked up society, boys aren't taught how to pleasure women, girl aren't even taught how to pleasure themselves much less know what they need from a man. According to a recent survey of American college freshmen women, 30% didn't even know what a clitoris was or that she had one, really, really, really fucked up.

 

[lovecraft68]

Or maybe the guy isn't pulling his weight in the bedroom.

Sexy thoughts? The woman should only be laying there enjoying while her man gets her off. If she has to think sexy thoughts and fantasize about other things than Mr wonderful is not doing his job.

But....if we say its the man's fault their penis shrinks even more along with their fragile self esteem.

So in order to protect the eggshell male ego we have to create articles and theories as to why women can't get off.

The average woman cannot get off because the average man thinks letting her suck his cock and his two pumps and done are all she needs.

The problem is....men suck at sex.

How about that theory? Won't find that around here.

 

[StrangeLife]

Or maybe the guy isn't pulling his weight in the bedroom.

Sexy thoughts? The woman should only be laying there enjoying while her man gets her off. If she has to think sexy thoughts and fantasize about other things than Mr wonderful is not doing his job.

But....if we say its the man's fault their penis shrinks even more along with their fragile self esteem.

So in order to protect the eggshell male ego we have to create articles and theories as to why women can't get off.

The average woman cannot get off because the average man thinks letting her suck his cock and his two pumps and done are all she needs.

The problem is....men suck at sex.

How about that theory? Won't find that around here.

Dear wife of Lovecraft68.

Please remove that .38 from his back and stop telling him what to type. Know that coercion under threat of bodily harm is illegal - even within a marriage.

 

[SecondCircle]

Or maybe the guy isn't pulling his weight in the bedroom.

Sexy thoughts? The woman should only be laying there enjoying while her man gets her off. If she has to think sexy thoughts and fantasize about other things than Mr wonderful is not doing his job.

But....if we say its the man's fault their penis shrinks even more along with their fragile self esteem.

So in order to protect the eggshell male ego we have to create articles and theories as to why women can't get off.

The average woman cannot get off because the average man thinks letting her suck his cock and his two pumps and done are all she needs.

The problem is....men suck at sex.

How about that theory? Won't find that around here.

I don't think they were saying the women should think of other things to get her off. The way I interpreted it was to say women should just relax and alliw themselves to get into it. Think about the moment and being in the moment and all that.

And I don't think ALL men suck at sex. We can certainly be idiots and kinda selfish or inconsiderate when it comes to stuff like that, but I don't think its quite like that across the board.

I think if a couple is having trouble in the bedroom, it is the COUPLE's fault. Not just one party or the other. You could go on with the puns and monikers or whatever. "Takes two to tango, team effort, can't win a marathon without a few bandaids on your nipples, so on and so on."

The best sex (IMO) is when the man and the woman are both trying like hell to drive the other one crazy. When you both are trying to push each other's buttons, you'd be amazed at what will happen.

 

[VenusButterflies]

Over complicating the matter is the fastest route to dissatisfaction. Trust me. If something can be overcomplicated, I've overcomplicated it. Just fuck and have fun.

Wait -- there's a way to stop overcomplicating things?

Would it make sense to you if I told you it's simpler for me to overcomplicate things than it is to keep them simple?

 

[VenusButterflies]

Something I learned early in life, pay attention to your partner and see what turns them on. Use that information as best you can. You got the invitation to her bed or her to your bed. If you want a rematch, you better do it right the first time.

Well, sometimes it takes time. But you definitely better be doing something right the first time!

 

[VenusButterflies]

In some cases, fantasizing is just so much easier than trying to explain.

So, men. Do y'all get off on physical sensation alone, or do you need the thinky thoughts, too?

True -- especially when in the mood for a gangbang.

 

[patientlee]

Wait -- there's a way to stop overcomplicating things?

Would it make sense to you if I told you it's simpler for me to overcomplicate things than it is to keep them simple?

Honey, I invented simplification by way of over complication.

 

[Montanos]

Definitely true. If I have trouble reaching orgasm during sex, I start fantasizing.

But the best kind of sex is the sex where you are so stimulated by what's happening that you don't even remember to fantasize, because you don't have to.

So here's a question: is it really up to the woman to ultimately get herself off, by fantasizing during sex? Or should the male take some responsibility/be more attentive to what turns the woman on (provided they have talked about it)? I'm not saying that women shouldn't take the same responsibility -- women should also be more attentive to what turns their partner(s) on.

Oh boy, gender based sex responsibility debate ... here we go. (Rings the Bell)

Now, I don't take sides on whose responsibility it is to achieve ... their own ... orgasms. .

I just know that I would offer myself as a erm ... mouth to labia ... facilitator to test both sides of the developing issue.

I imagine we would need two focus groups.

1. Women that fantasize while receiving emergency mouth to labia CPR.

2. Women that don't fantasize while receiving emergency mouth to labia CPR.

I'm all about the research.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical practitioner but might pretend to be one. Research might include many useful sex-toys, the use of fingers, passionate sexual dialogue, jokes of ill repute and obscene amounts of kinkiness.

Montanos

 

[3113]

and obscene amounts of kinkiness.

Does that include chocolate? I really think the research incomplete if it doesn't include chocolate.