Using "slut" and "slutty" in a positive way?

[tomlitilia]

I've fairly recently published a couple of stories about a woman who discovers and explores her slutty side, particularly with a fascination with facials. In this, my aim has been to stay clear of any type of degradation because I find that an extreme turn-off myself. I know it's a fine line to stay within given the topic, which is pretty much why I wanted to write it. Whether I've completely succeeded or not, I can't tell, but I've tried to make it very clear that the actions and the use of such words are all happening on the heroine's own terms.

But as I'm writing the third part, I get a bit curios about how readers feel about the word “slut”. I've tried to use it as kind of positive yet naughty word, as in the sense of a girl who likes the sultry side of sex, which most certainly is not a a bad thing. But words can be powerful and have different connotations to different people.

So what do you think, can “slut” and “slutty” be used in a fun way, or does it immediately evoke an association with degrading things?

 

[allamagione]

Sure, it can be used in a fun way without being degrading. And it can be used in a degrading way and still be fun.

As long as everyone is portrayed as consenting and enjoying themselves, it's a positive thing, right?

 

[lovecraft68]

As long as the woman has no issue with being called that, then its fun and not degrading, a playful "You love it because you're my little slut" or if the woman is into degradation then a "Look at you, you dirty fucking slut" can be fun too.

Only if she is not "into" the term is it truly degrading.

 

[Hypoxia]

Are these parallel?

A: Black people can call other blacks 'nigger' but white people shouldn't.
B: Women can call other women 'slut' but men shouldn't.

Substitute other groups and slurs (ethnic, sexual). Are they comparable?

 

[49greg]

Seems like I've read several stories where the women wanted to be known as sluts, and where it wasn't known as an insult.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

"She deliberately chose the slutty-looking outfit; after all, it was by Louis Vuitton and it was amazingly expensive. What else could she possibly wear onto Joan Rivers' fashion police? It fitted perfectly around her god-given body, didn't it?"

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

"Of course, it was a touch sluttier than the time she had gone on Letterman, but then, Letterman was a push-over, and the fashion police were not, but they were such suckers for 'slutty.'"

 

[Bramblethorn]

Are these parallel?

A: Black people can call other blacks 'nigger' but white people shouldn't.
B: Women can call other women 'slut' but men shouldn't.

Similar issues but I'm not sure they're exact parallels. Somebody who's Black gets exposed to the word "n----r" from birth simply by the colour of their skin; "slut" is at least ostensibly about behaviour. So when a woman calls another woman "slutty" as an insult she isn't focusing on a shared trait; she's saying "you are sexually immoral", with implied "and I am not".

In practice, I think the answer for both is "nobody should call anybody either of those names unless they know the audience is cool with it" but the degree of offensiveness will vary depending on context.

 

[PennLady]

Similar issues but I'm not sure they're exact parallels. Somebody who's Black gets exposed to the word "n----r" from birth simply by the colour of their skin; "slut" is at least ostensibly about behaviour. So when a woman calls another woman "slutty" as an insult she isn't focusing on a shared trait; she's saying "you are sexually immoral", with implied "and I am not".

In practice, I think the answer for both is "nobody should call anybody either of those names unless they know the audience is cool with it" but the degree of offensiveness will vary depending on context.

I agree here, especially with the last part.

My first thought when reading the OP was, "Why does this have to have a positive spin?" Some things are simply negative, or have negative connotations to people, and that's not always a bad thing. Now, some people can use the negative thing in a joking way, and as long as everyone's in on the joke, no problem.

But I can't really imagine too many women wanting to be called "slut" or "slutty," unless it's a) a joke, or b) part of a scenario like LC mentioned. However, even in b), the term itself isn't positive. The woman is getting off on being called something negative. And again in that scenario, presuming it's all consensual, no problem.

The real problem is, I think most can agree, is that when a woman is called a "slut," the person calling her that is making a negative moral judgment that is none of their business in the first place.

 

[Montanos]

I always enjoy when a MAN is called a slut by a gorgeous woman that wants to enjoy his sexual promiscuous tendencies.

Then again, I'm the sort of guy who loves dominant females that can't keep their knickers on around the geeky short guy with the 9.35 inch dick.



Montanos

 

[PervOtaku]

I think in general part of the appeal of kinky sex is the idea of being naughty, that you're getting away with something you shouldn't be doing. The nastier something is, the more it's a turn-on. In this sense, a woman might like being called slut or even call herself a slut, or ask to be made into a slut by a dominant partner, or what have you.

As with everything, intent is key. If you call a woman a slut because you think she's being immoral and shouldn't, it's an insult. If you call a woman a slut because you want to do immoral things with her, then it's encouragement.

 

[SecondCircle]

I think in general part of the appeal of kinky sex is the idea of being naughty, that you're getting away with something you shouldn't be doing. The nastier something is, the more it's a turn-on. In this sense, a woman might like being called slut or even call herself a slut, or ask to be made into a slut by a dominant partner, or what have you.

As with everything, intent is key. If you call a woman a slut because you think she's being immoral and shouldn't, it's an insult. If you call a woman a slut because you want to do immoral things with her, then it's encouragement.

This.

 

[TamLin01]

I always think of it as positive. "Slut" is a word that people try to use to make women ashamed of liking or pursuing sex, or even just trying to appear attractive or actively seeking sexual attention. So being a "slut" is only a negative thing if you have a problem with a woman's sexuality. Despite what those who engendered the word intended, being a "slut" is, if anything, healthy.

Incidentally, thinking back I can scarcely recall any woman I've ever slept with who did not like to hear the word thrown around in the bedroom. Make of that what you will.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

"The fact that Americans as a society are not sluts because they are only ever very selectively fucked, and the fact that Palestinians are in fact today's niggers - ought to cause no one who can sanguinely watch children being callously slaughtered by weapons marketeers and shirt-and-tie bureaucrats, any grievances whatsoever and they ought to rather toughen up compared to their surface appearance of toughness when they try to piss around with people's lives by bugging their private communications and throwing the word 'terrorist' around with gay abandon and then calling moral superiority on the rest of the world on behalf of a handful of corruptly privileged private banks."

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

But to get back to the original subject, it is all about the intended meaning of the usage of the words.

Embarrassing someone in public or outside of an intimate circle in which all the participants have a positive understanding of what is being said and what is going on - is just insulting and plainly wrong.

Insults, however, are not always uncalled for.

Is there a positive spin possible with the word 'slut?'

If you are a highly sex-positive person then yes, definitely, there is.

 

[AMoveableBeast]

I always think of it as positive. "Slut" is a word that people try to use to make women ashamed of liking or pursuing sex, or even just trying to appear attractive or actively seeking sexual attention. So being a "slut" is only a negative thing if you have a problem with a woman's sexuality. Despite what those who engendered the word intended, being a "slut" is, if anything, healthy.

Incidentally, thinking back I can scarcely recall any woman I've ever slept with who did not like to hear the word thrown around in the bedroom. Make of that what you will.

I couldn't agree more.

 

[Cruel2BKind]

Start with it being used on herself.

Emphasize how much fun she/they are having. How natural it feels. How normal, how nice. Show them having fun being slutty, and emphasize how they are doing it for themselves, vs for a man or for onlookers.

Keep it focused on self. That helps.

 

[lovecraft68]

I always think of it as positive. "Slut" is a word that people try to use to make women ashamed of liking or pursuing sex, or even just trying to appear attractive or actively seeking sexual attention. So being a "slut" is only a negative thing if you have a problem with a woman's sexuality. Despite what those who engendered the word intended, being a "slut" is, if anything, healthy.

Incidentally, thinking back I can scarcely recall any woman I've ever slept with who did not like to hear the word thrown around in the bedroom. Make of that what you will.

Well said and the classic double standard.

Guy sleeps with a lot of women=stud. Woman a lot of men=slut

male porn star=God Female pornstar=slut.

Any woman who will not sleep with a man=slut, somehow....

Slut was created by men as a derogatory term and those men are pissed that many women can embrace it. Takes the fun out of it.

Oh, there is also the lit version. Any woman here is a slut because its a porn site and any of these sluts who will not show their tits and cyber with them are cunts as well.

I have a longtime friend who after her divorce has been just enjoying herself playing cougar and cub and doing whoever, whenever.

She says to me, "I'm not a slut, I am a female imitating male sexuality"

 

[Montanos]

TamLin01

I always think of it as positive. "Slut" is a word that people try to use to make women ashamed of liking or pursuing sex, or even just trying to appear attractive or actively seeking sexual attention. So being a "slut" is only a negative thing if you have a problem with a woman's sexuality. Despite what those who engendered the word intended, being a "slut" is, if anything, healthy.

Incidentally, thinking back I can scarcely recall any woman I've ever slept with who did not like to hear the word thrown around in the bedroom. Make of that what you will.

Well said and the classic double standard.

Guy sleeps with a lot of women=stud. Woman a lot of men=slut

male porn star=God Female pornstar=slut.

Any woman who will not sleep with a man=slut, somehow....

Slut was created by men as a derogatory term and those men are pissed that many women can embrace it. Takes the fun out of it.

Oh, there is also the lit version. Any woman here is a slut because its a porn site and any of these sluts who will not show their tits and cyber with them are cunts as well.

I have a longtime friend who after her divorce has been just enjoying herself playing cougar and cub and doing whoever, whenever.

She says to me, "I'm not a slut, I am a female imitating male sexuality"

I agree with the history of the terminology. I have to inquire, as a man, if a woman calls you a slut ... don't you feel .... awesome? Because I get a thrill that goes from the base of my spine all the way to the top of my head.

At the same time, if a man calls ME a slut ... well ... let's say the discourse is going to trend towards how I am a slut with his mama, wife and little sister or something increasingly derogatory.

Montanos

 

[MatthewVett]

It all depends on context and consent. If everyone in the story is fine with the term, then yes, it can be used positively. And in a more general audience, you'd probably run a greater risk of misunderstanding, but I think Lit's audience will be more understanding about the possible positivity of the term "slut."

 

[Sammael Bard]

TamLin01

I agree with the history of the terminology. I have to inquire, as a man, if a woman calls you a slut ... don't you feel .... awesome? Because I get a thrill that goes from the base of my spine all the way to the top of my head.

At the same time, if a man calls ME a slut ... well ... let's say the discourse is going to trend towards how I am a slut with his mama, wife and little sister or something increasingly derogatory.

Montanos

You, my friend, are a feminist to your very core and I suspect that you will definitely enjoy a fem-dom session with a lady

As for the topic matter of this thread, as long as you bring out the eroticism in the term in the story, it won't be degoratory in any way.

I've read an ample amount of stories where slut is often used but I didn't mind it at all. The same term apalls me when I read the way in which it was used in some stories.

I guess it all depends on how you use that term.

 

[Handley_Page]

I once called my (then) wife "Wench".
She went ballistic, calling me all the names under the sun for insulting her and one and on and on . . .
I think she's have hit me if I'd used the (highly derogatory) term "Slut"

 

[Handley_Page]

I once called my (then) wife "Wench".
She went ballistic, calling me all the names under the sun for insulting her and one and on and on . . .
I think she's have hit me if I'd used the (highly derogatory) term "Slut"
The term "slattern" is very similar, but older, I believe.
My little Oxford defines a slut:-

1 A woman of slovenly habits or appearance.
A kitchen maid; a drudge. rare.
2 A sexually promiscuous woman, a hussy, a tart.

---------------------------------------------------------
Excerpted from Oxford Talking Dictionary
Copyright © 1998 The Learning Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

 

[Montanos]

You, my friend, are a feminist to your very core and I suspect that you will definitely enjoy a fem-dom session with a lady

As for the topic matter of this thread, as long as you bring out the eroticism in the term in the story, it won't be degoratory in any way.

I've read an ample amount of stories where slut is often used but I didn't mind it at all. The same term apalls me when I read the way in which it was used in some stories.

I guess it all depends on how you use that term.

Well, I wouldn't mind a female dominant, but its all about enjoying very assertive women. Nothing greater than having a woman push me down, all wet and horny, while pulling my boxer shorts off with manic need.

Ok .... I'm going to stop fantasizing now.


Montanos

 

[Aynmair]

In my younger days I was part of a medieval recreation group. We used terms that harked back to middle ages. Wenches were simply (youngish) serving girls in bars or pubs and the term was not at all derogatory, it simply denoted a job. The word has evolved, but I simply can't get worked up about it, in fact it has a very playful tone to me.

Slut on the other hand is quite derogatory - I wouldn't stand for being called a slut except by the closest of friends and only in special and very playful circumstances (slutty would be slightly more acceptable than slut), whether they be male or female. The only term I hate worse is being called a cunt, which has 99.95% negative connotations.

Can I imagine a woman not minding? Sort of, maybe, possibly. Can I imagine me not minding? The person slinging that term about better be really close to me, and mean it in a very affectionate manner.