Do you have a plan?

[NotHisLady]

Friday I had to have some fairly minor oral surgery but they did make me sign that thing that says I completely understand and it's OK with me if they kill me. (Yes, I know that isn't what it actually SAYS but it kind of is, isn't it?)

Anyway, there are several people I know online, that I consider to be my friends and who I know care about me and if I'm ok. They knew ahead of time what I had going on and that I'd be out of sight for a bit but I don't like making folks worry. When enough of the drugs wore off a bit I got online and sent out "I'm not dead" notes and updates on how things went, etc.

Somewhere in all of that I got to thinking, what if everything hadn't gone well? My hubby knows that I have stuff going on online but not what that stuff is. He isn't interested and doesn't want to know.
I think he would send email to people if something happened to me assuming I gave him a list. I can say for sure that there's no way in this or any other hell that he'd come and post HERE if ya'll needed to be saying prayers or sending flowers!
It's something I'm going to have to think about because I don't ever want people to think I just decided to go play elsewhere if the reason is more serious (or that something bad happened when I'm just absent minded!)

Do any of you who post here or have online friends who don't intersect with your RL have a plan for what would happen in a situation where something bad happened? Would anyone let those people outside that real life circle know?
How would you expect to find out if something happened to one of your online friends?

 

[HoneyFortune]

That's a really good thought and question. I often wonder how news of Mrs. H's passing filtered here. Did she have a plan or trusted person who was the go between from her daily life and online life? I float in and out of here, but am fully entrenched in related boards that sprung out of Lit. I need to figure out a way to get someone from our loose and large Lit network to be the person who is that go between, and I shall be for them.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Rainshine has my password to Facebook so she would know what happened to me. She would let you all know what happened here I presume.

Also, she could really make me look like I'm posting from the grave too.

 

[LadyVer]

Rain has your pw to FB? okaaaay.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Rain has your pw to FB? okaaaay.

Yeah?

We've posted about it several times on here. She often signs me up for shitty fan clubs and such.

 

[LadyVer]

Yeah?

We've posted about it several times on here. She often signs me up for shitty fan clubs and such.

Sounds kind of funny. Are you on FB under The PMANN?

 

[Lord Pmann]

Sounds kind of funny. Are you on FB under The PMANN?

Hehe. No. My actual Facebook.

She was kind enough to sign me up for my favourite shows such as Gilmore Girls, Dawson's Creek and Gossip Girl. Not to mention The Notebook and Beaches as my favourite movies.

But if anything happened to me, she would let the wondering masses know.

 

[LadyVer]

Hehe. No. My actual Facebook.

She was kind enough to sign me up for my favourite shows such as Gilmore Girls, Dawson's Creek and Gossip Girl. Not to mention The Notebook and Beaches as my favourite movies.

But if anything happened to me, she would let the wondering masses know.

Interesting. Gilmore Girls was a fave of mine.

 

[Essie1]

.....

 

[LWulf]

No.

I have maybe one or two online friends that I would like them to know what happened, but I don't have anybody that crosses those lines between net and real life.

I've thought about loading a time delayed program that would release information in the event I don't sign in in a timely manner, but knowing my luck, I'd get a job working in some far off location or my computer will break down, something that would prevent me from logging on and then everybody would get the time delayed message stating my last days are done. Then I would log on...

Hell, I think most people would be happy I was gone Which I have no problem with. I'd rather people laugh than cry.

I'd rather people remember me for what I am than think of me in any way, shape or form, better than I actually was.
"Oh he was such an Angel!"
"Pfft! Yeah right, you didn't know him too well I take it?!"

 

[NotHisLady]

The drug fog has lifted a bit (for now...)

Honestly I'm less concerned with people I know in conversation of as acquaintances than with those who are true friends.
The ones I was online last night sending those updates to (Yes, I started them with "I'm not dead" to know me is to love me) I truly care about. It isn't a long list but for me even a couple of people who care about me is something I take seriously. There have been times in my life when I couldn't claim even one that wasn't a blood relation.
I also think I've sorted out something that, for me, will be a solution that can let me stop worrying about it. There is one person I know who I trust completely with every part of my life, I'm going to talk to her about giving her some info. If there's ever a need she'll make sure anyone who would care will know.

I still do wonder about those people I have friendships with whose RL families are no part of their online life. An accident or health issue that I didn't know about until long afterwards would break my heart.

Doesn't sound like anyone has given this much more thought than I had.

 

[Essie1]

.....

 

[LadyVer]

I tend to keep online, at least Lit anyway, separate from real life, so I don't think there's a way that if something happened to me, anyone on Lit would know, although I do communicate with a few people via email, mostly writers I've worked with whom I consider friends, so I guess it's possible news could get out. But I don't have a plan and don't really think I'll do much about it. And because of my job, I no longer interact as much on Facebook or Twitter. FB is a way to stay in touch with my kids than anything else. I do administer a closed health-related FB group and would probably make the effort to keep the group informed, if possible.

Hope the op is feeling better.

 

[NotHisLady]

Hope the op is feeling better.

I am, thanks.
Over the past 2 days my sleep schedule has been so messed up that right now I'm wide awake but no ill effects that weren't pretty much expected.
(If everyone would kindly invoke his/her personal deity that this will at last be the final big step in getting this done I'd appreciate it!)

 

[NippleMuncher]

Oh, like anyone would miss me if I were gone.

I've got someone who will log into all my online accounts and post on my behalf should some Darwinian event take place.

 

[Eilan]

I'm pretty much always logged in to Facebook and Lit on the desktop in my home office, so my husband wouldn't even have to worry about figuring out passwords. I'm friends with five Litsters (I think?), so if something happened to me and my husband posted about it on FB but not here, I'm sure one of them would mention it.

 

[JennyNo1]

I actually did think about this before some surgery I had some months ago, partly because of Mrs. H, whom someone mentioned earlier. One of her good Lit friends had also become a RL friend who found out about it from a family member who knew her contact info. I asked a family member to call my friend after surgery with an update. Simple.

 

[bailadora]

My husband knows I'm on Lit, and he has my password, but I seriously doubt it would occur to him post here in the event I passed away.

 

[HoneyFortune]

I actually did think about this before some surgery I had some months ago, partly because of Mrs. H, whom someone mentioned earlier. One of her good Lit friends had also become a RL friend who found out about it from a family member who knew her contact info. I asked a family member to call my friend after surgery with an update. Simple.

I am glad you posted that because I have wondered how news of Mrs. H traveled here.

And unrelated, but there is a Litster who disappeared from here and another board that sprung out of Lit. Honey123 ... anyone know what happened to her? I worry it was something like what happened to Mrs. H, but hoping she just simply fluttered away like so many do.

 

[NotHisLady]

My husband knows I'm on Lit, and he has my password, but I seriously doubt it would occur to him post here in the event I passed away.

If it were just here I wouldn't worry over it.
There are people I correspond with via email or IM with that have been (and continue to be) real friends to me. Those lines don't intersect each other and none of them cross much into my day to day life outside the odd phone call. (If you knew my friends you'd get that I mean truly ODD phone call.) None of it is stuff I hide, it's just that some things that are part of my life simply aren't part of 'our' life anymore when you talk about hubby and me. Sad but true maybe but it is what it is.
So if it were just here and I wound up incapacitated for an unknown length of time maybe I'd be bored out of my mind while I wasn't thinking about not dying. I'm sure I'd miss you all.
If that were to happen and I just vanished without a word to people I care about and who care about me, that would upset me. I would want some way of letting them know what happened and what was going on. (At least one would call to check up but I'm not really sure what sort of answer that would get.)
Hell, if I just died it'd be easy! They know my name and where I live so when I wasn't around for a bit they'd just look up my obit. Probably send really ugly flowers just to get back at me for kicking off with no warning.

I've spent too much of my life a wall flower. This business of having friends is more complicated than I thought. Things I never thought I'd need to consider are suddenly things I should have already thought of.
This one at least I think I've solved. One person who knows me and who I trust. In the right kind of emergency she'll send a few messages for me. My guess is one of them will find its way back here but if not the ones who's hearts are dear to me will know I didn't get bored or lazy or just forget.

 

[LallyH]

There are three of us online here who have alternative contact methods for each other, and when one of us has gone awol without warning for 24 hours or so, the sirens sound, Thunderbirds are launched, and the dogs sent out until we're found. And duly battered around the head for being so inconsiderate and thoughtless.

 

[StrayKat]

My husband knows my "general" passwords but I truly doubt he would bother to go through all the forums I frequent on and off just to let people I communicate with know something happened.
FB is different, I am sure he would post there and since most my closer online friends are both on my and his friends list, I dont see the need to particularly set something up for any other site.

 

[MeekMe]

I thought about this one day while we were driving somewhere. I didn't tell Mister. I don't have a plan. If something happened I would just disappear. I'm not sure it would be noticeable here, though. I did somewhat day dream that he would come here and maybe put something in the profile or make a post. I won't make a plan or request he do that, it seems like a painful thing to do.

 

[GooodGurrl]

I am somewhat disappointed nobody else has taken this prime opportunity to quote Pheobe from friends when asked this question...

Pheobe: I don't even have a pl-uh!


Seriously though... I've thought about this often. I have come close to dying before and, if I did, nobody really knows enough about the places I visit to actually know to let any of my online contacts know. I do have a few fandom friends on my FB, so I am sure they would eventually find out when that gets out there. So the majority of my internet peoples would know.

But this site? Not so much. I have a few friends who know that I visit an adult site, that I even post photos, but they don't know the name of the site and i don't see them trying too hard to find out.

 

[Hypoxia]

Our plan? When we hurt enough, we'll drive off a high bridge. Wills are made out. Accounts can just expire, thank you -- gone, there's no reason to fret over digital ephemera. My writings can live on as orphans till they're purged, and I just won't fucking care.