Incest -need guidance/editor

[litmlove]

Hi, I need an editor to help me with my writing skills.

I have published one story [1st person past tense - BRO/SIS], and the story did receive some mild praise. My problem was I barely used editorial help (except for a section). http://www.literotica.com/s/a-serendipitious-scheme-ch-01

I am now writing a story which is at 5,500 words (missing sections) and the story is expected to grow to 8 or 9,000 words [3rd person present tense - Dad/Daughter]. I would like some guidance now, or should I wait until almost done? I want help with things such as pacing, tone, [flesh out]/[cut] and etc.

Except for the errors I read past, I am reasonably good with grammar and punctuation. I use Microsoft word.

Any help would be appreciated.

Regards,
M Love.

 

[LadyVer]

I read the first few paragraphs, and I'm not into reading incest stories much. The issue I noticed is you need to tighten up your writing. It's too wordy, which makes it confusing. With the sister's names and ages, and then your descriptions of them, it stops the flow of the reading. Plus, do you realize how many incest stories start this way? A lot.

I would recommend before you get an editor that you tighten up your story.

My 2 cents, FWIW, anyway.

Good luck.

 

[litmlove]

OK, I will wait until almost complete.

I know, my main problems are:

- Sentences length (flow)

- a few missed word/grammar mistakes

- name checking

- I am not so sure believability is a massive problem, but it could be better

- A wordy style is not necessarily a bad thing, my problem is that the writing needs to be more focused and compelling. This is part of the reason of why I changed to present tense.

 

[LadyVer]

You're trying to say too much in the first paragraphs. Too much info and stats for the reader to have to wade through, before the reader even cares enough about the characters and the story. It's basically an info dump.

 

[Hypoxia]

INFODUMP! I did that with my first submitted stories here. They kinda suck.

Try this: Write your story. Put it aside for a few weeks, yes, THAT long. Then read it, not as if it was your own creation, but like somebody else's work. Is the beginning interesting? Will ANYONE bother reading past the first paragraph?

Read some mainstream short stories. See how they're structured. Imitate. That's the learning process. G'luck!

 

[MeredithEighty8]

INFODUMP! I did that with my first submitted stories here. They kinda suck.

Try this: Write your story. Put it aside for a few weeks, yes, THAT long. Then read it, not as if it was your own creation, but like somebody else's work. Is the beginning interesting? Will ANYONE bother reading past the first paragraph?

Read some mainstream short stories. See how they're structured. Imitate. That's the learning process. G'luck!

Excellent advice. I am also a relatively new writer and putting the story aside and letting it "marinate" has proven advantageous. When I pick it up again after even a few days I find things that cause me to wonder:

- What was I thinking when I wrote that?
- Geez, that doesn't make sense.
- He/she had their clothes on, when did they take their clothes off?
- Would my character really say something like that?
- Am I providing more facts/details than the reader would even care about?
- This situation is just plain stupid and implausible.
- Is this sex for sex sake?
- Why are my characters doing what they're doing?

As you can see, the list could go on and on, and they are things you might not catch during the original writing. After I've done all that I think I can do to clean up the story I then start looking for my editor to basically check my grammar, tense consistency, structure, flow, etc.

Good luck!