Suggestions for meeting girls into BDSM

[NYTimesBest]

So here is my dilemma: I am into all kinds of bondage and kinky stuff like breastfeeding, needle-play, master/slave stuff -basically anything a girl will let me do to them i wanna try or get more involved with.

However, I cannot think of a way to meet a girl who like's this stuff initially for a relationsship, not just NSA sex. Like, usually you discover what a girl likes over time and start regular and build in kinkiness as you get to know each other. At least that has been my experience. It's not like I can bring this stuff up at Barnes and Noble as I'm making small talk to a woman I just met, like 'hey, want to come back to my place and have a buttplug shoved in your ass while I ball gag you and tie you up so you can't move, and abuse the shit out of your tits while we stretch your pussy lips out and i fuck you?" I mean, maybe she'd be totally into trying out all kinds of stuff, but that's after 10,000 kicks to the balls and probably a few arrests.

Other than this forum, which isn't really meant for dating, or craigslist - which is a joke and if you even get someone real you're totally lucky, more lucky if you don't meet someone insane if you do - has anyone found a successful way in the real world to meet people with similar bondage and fetish interests that worked?

 

[dreamykitten2]

Have u tried joining fetlife?

It's free and they have munches which are meet and greets. It's a good way I think to meet people of like minds and also make friends in your community ! Fetlife.com

 

[NYTimesBest]

i haven't tried that but I may do so now, thank you for the suggestion!

 

[Pachet]

Yep, Fetlife

 

[Stella_Omega]

Pretty much everyone that is currently significant to me right now, I met via fetlife.

 

[NYTimesBest]

OK, I signed up. Didn't know what to put for my role, so I think I picked unsure.

If any of you want to add me as a friend on there that'd be cool. My username is: biddickkinkman

We shall see what happens!

 

[dreamykitten2]

OK, I signed up. Didn't know what to put for my role, so I think I picked unsure.

If any of you want to add me as a friend on there that'd be cool. My username is: biddickkinkman

We shall see what happens!

The more friends u make the better and make sure u check out munches and people were u live!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

....

Didn't know what to put for my role, so I think I picked unsure....

Stella_Omega has a great essay (click words "great essay") on roles/identities, etc.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Stella_Omega has a great essay (click words "great essay") on roles/identities, etc.

Hah! I love it

 

[peedrinker21]

just use this munky pic. works for me.

 

[midwestyankee]

Wow, your local Barnes and Noble must be a very stuffy place. Too bad.

 

[dreamykitten2]

Her essay is wonderful

Stella_Omega has a great essay (click words "great essay") on roles/identities, etc.

And it really gives a lot of info! Thanks Stella for putting things in perspective!!!

 

[NYTimesBest]

so i've been on fetlife now a few days, maybe a week, not sure, and trying to meet people. a few things I find annoying on it: the site sucks. just about all i can say. i'm talking about navigating etc, it's poorly designed and annoying. they should allow u to search by age and gender at least.

like when i look for local people, i don't want to meet a dude. pretty simple. and i don't care anything for what any guy is into, i don't want to know, and have no interest in knowing. So wish I could filter stuff like that.

but i am talking to a few ppl on there, and some seem okay. Some are very standoffish and even rude, but it feels like most can't be bothered. so not sure how I feel about it.

 

[wicked woman]

so i've been on fetlife now a few days, maybe a week, not sure, and trying to meet people. a few things I find annoying on it: the site sucks. just about all i can say. i'm talking about navigating etc, it's poorly designed and annoying. they should allow u to search by age and gender at least.

like when i look for local people, i don't want to meet a dude. pretty simple. and i don't care anything for what any guy is into, i don't want to know, and have no interest in knowing. So wish I could filter stuff like that.

but i am talking to a few ppl on there, and some seem okay. Some are very standoffish and even rude, but it feels like most can't be bothered. so not sure how I feel about it.

It's not meant as a dating site, which is why you can't search it like one. It's meant for people to discuss/meet who have similar interests.

 

[babyjane20011]

It's free and they have munches which are meet and greets. It's a good way I think to meet people of like minds and also make friends in your community ! Fetlife.com

sent u pm

 

[DVS]

so i've been on fetlife now a few days, maybe a week, not sure, and trying to meet people. a few things I find annoying on it: the site sucks. just about all i can say. i'm talking about navigating etc, it's poorly designed and annoying. they should allow u to search by age and gender at least.

like when i look for local people, i don't want to meet a dude. pretty simple. and i don't care anything for what any guy is into, i don't want to know, and have no interest in knowing. So wish I could filter stuff like that.

but i am talking to a few ppl on there, and some seem okay. Some are very standoffish and even rude, but it feels like most can't be bothered. so not sure how I feel about it.

Yeah, I don't like their layout, either. I also don't like the reverse text thing. That's difficult on my eyes after a while. And no, it's not a dating site, so don't treat it as such. Like wicked woman has already said, it's just a very large site with a lot of kinky people with varied interests akin to BDSM.

Find your city, look for people in that city and check out their profiles. Of course, if you're a male dom, you don't need to check out the men, but there should be a fair amount of women in your city to check out.

Also, the munches of your city groups might be something you want to give a look to. Many people can be standoffish as you say, because they don't know you. People are easily standoffish to strangers. If you start going to their munches, they will get to know you and you won't be a stranger to them any more.

Take your time with people. Don't be in a hurry to get something going, because that is another thing that brings up red flags. If you let things go at a slow pace, these people can get to know you and they are more likely to warm up to you. Nobody likes to rush into anything they aren't sure of.

Give fetlife a chance. It's really your best connection to the kinky people in your area until you are able to meet them face to face.

 

[babyjane20011]

And it really gives a lot of info! Thanks Stella for putting things in perspective!!!

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