Sex addiction/Nymphomania

[SgtSpiderMan]

Please feel free to expand on the following topics.

1. Would you consider yourself a sex addict or nymphomaniac?
2. Have you ever dated/been in involved with a sex addict or nymphomaniac?
3. Any downsides to dating them?

 

[StrongMaster7]

Most of the men I have talked with would probably qualify as sex addicts. Maybe 90%.

I have only heard stories of women who were as sexually active as they could be. Upbringing and society have inhibited most women I am acquainted with.*

*That's why I am on Lit and used to read Penthouse Forum. These are the only places I have even heard stories of women with "male" sex drives.


"The difference between the sex drive of the average man and the average woman is the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing a bullet." - Larry Miller

Thank God for any women who are exceptions to this. May your numbers increase.

 

[MILFSauce]

I have only heard stories of women who were as sexually active as they could be. Upbringing and society have inhibited most women I am acquainted with.*

"The difference between the sex drive of the average man and the average woman is the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing a bullet." - Larry Miller

I think that's an over-simplification. You have to distinguish between sex drive, which is biological, and outward sexual behavior, which is cultural.

The innate drive to reproduce, to have sex, is just as strong in women as in men. Furthermore, women get just as much physical pleasure from sex as men, if not more. I'm certain that an orgasm feels just as good to me as it does to any man.

Sexual behavior is a totally different thing. Anthropologically speaking, it makes no sense for females to run around, fucking anything that moves. The different roles of male and female in the overall reproductive scheme dictate that, and a mere one or two generations of gaining control over our reproductive function isn't going to change it.

As for the original question about sex addiction ... people like to wink and poke each other in the ribs about this, but it's no joke. Liking sex a lot doesn't mean you're "addicted" to it. Any sort of addiction is by definition detrimental to your life. I don't think anyone would truly want to be addicted to sex any more than they would to anything else.

Regarding so-called nymphomania ... what does that mean, anyway? Take someone like me. I enjoy sex. A lot. At certain times of the month, I'm practically insatiable. Does that make me a nympho? Or would I have to indiscriminately fuck anyone who wants me? There was a short period, right after my divorce, when that wasn't too far from the truth, but it's not what I do now. So was I a nympho then but not now?

What's that old joke ... the definition of a nympho is a woman who has sex with anyone, including me. The definition of a bitch is a woman who has sex with anyone, except me.

 

[smallgirl]

Please feel free to expand on the following topics.

1. Would you consider yourself a sex addict or nymphomaniac?
2. Have you ever dated/been in involved with a sex addict or nymphomaniac?
3. Any downsides to dating them?

I think women who have the high sex drive like men are still "labeled" and looked down on by most of society. I think some women look down on those women who stay sexual...maybe from jealousy? So we are labeled sex addicts, nymphos...sluts, etc.
Am I a sex addict? No. I'm just a very very sexual person. I love sex, I enjoy sex, and I probably get more pleasure from sex than men do. Am I a nympho? At times, yes. Because at times I'm insatiable. I'm satisfied for a few hours then I need it again. But then there are times my satisfaction last for days.
I don't enjoy labels...we are all different. I just happen to need sex more then most women.

 

[RedNails]

1. Would you consider yourself a sex addict or nymphomaniac? Yes, and so does my therapist.
2. Have you ever dated/been in involved with a sex addict or nymphomaniac? Oh yes
3. Any downsides to dating them? You can forget monogamy

 

[pete]

i would view true sex addiction like any other addiction - if you can't stop, even though you want to, if its affecting other aspects of your life adversely, your work, your relationships, etc, then you're probably an addict.
and that's not a good thing.

 

[MILFSauce]

Was just reading up on this a little more ...

The American Psychiatric Association doesn't consider "nymphomania" to be a legitimate diagnosis, although it's in the process of considering it.

The World Health Organization does have ICD-10 codes for "Excessive sexual drive" and "Excessive masturbation."

In the 1800's, nymphomania was considered a serious mental illness, and women could be sent to an institution if found to be masturbating or for enjoying sex "too much" or for engaging in "perversions" (oral or anal sex, or, not surprisingly, lesbian sex).

Damn, I'd be serving concurrent life sentences if that was practiced today.

Interesting that getting a blowjob was perfectly ok ... it was only giving one that was considered perverted. I'm going to take a leap and assume that men in the 1800's liked getting their dick sucked just as much as men do today.

Regarding the institutionalization, the woman themselves had no choice in the matter, and it was a matter of great public shame.

In 19th century Britain, the female population greatly outnumbered the male population, which has been given as one cause for the rise of prostitution during the period. Can't beat that logic, eh?

 

[OpenMouth]

I'm not. I get ridiculously obsessed / kinky / imaginative after a few days without sex, but after I've cum I lose interest for a while.

That's why I spend loads of time masturbating but hardly ever all the way. I just that feeling of frustration...

 

[sexy_hottie_2003]

1. Yes I would because I can't live without sex whether it be cyber, masturbation, etc
2. Yes my last boyfriend was. We had sex all the time.
3. Nope.

 

[1millionsecrets]

1. Nope. I can stop... when ever I want to.
2. Yes my first real boyfriend was a nympho... I was with him for 3 years...
3. It wasn't bad... I didn't really know until the 2nd year in... We had sex nearly constantly and that was eventually all he cared about.
It was fun, and lonely.

 

[hotrodtom]

Try Out of the Shadows, by Patrick Carnes, M.D. It describes some of the scary extremes of this affliction, some of which I have seen but most, thankfully, I have not. Apparently, treatment for this affliction is rare and somewhat hard to find. Sex Addicts Anonymous, in Houston, and Sexaholics Anonymous, in Tennessee, are two of a group of national organizations which say they can help. My partner, herself a psychologist, was resistant to the idea of group therapy, thinking it would become a source for new j-o buddies and conquest stories. sa.org and saa-recovery.org are listed sites.

 

[BongoGal]

...Anthropologically speaking, it makes no sense for females to run around, fucking anything that moves. The different roles of male and female in the overall reproductive scheme dictate that, and a mere one or two generations of gaining control over our reproductive function isn't going to change it.

Birth control sure made my twenties a whole lot different than they would have been before The Pill. Back in the olden days, fucking someone was important and risky enough that it had better have been with someone you were legally attached to or would be if a pregnancy came into the picture. Sex without birth control can't be (or shouldn't be) casual unless you are happy to have a baby. Knowing that pregnancy wasn't going to result in a commitment to a baby sure opened the door for sex as fun for me. I was able to relax about it. I can only imagine how unrelaxing sex could have been if I were relying on chance or 'pulling out' or on a condom not tearing.

I was definitely sexually active, but was I an addict or a nympho? I don't think so. I just liked sex and orgasms and had both when I could. If I were an addict/nympho, being separated from my sex partners would have been cause to cheat on them, and I've never cheated. Does masturbating on a regular basis constitute a problem? I don't think so unless it becomes socially crippling or risky behavior.

 

[Eastcoast1956]

Please feel free to expand on the following topics.

1. Would you consider yourself a sex addict or nymphomaniac?
2. Have you ever dated/been in involved with a sex addict or nymphomaniac?
3. Any downsides to dating them?

I now just like sex for the thrill of it. I don't know why as a society we have to label having sex with others as wrong. I guess it is that old puritan ideal showing in our upbringing. If that makes me a nymphomaniac then I will just have to wear the label. There are others, slut, comes to mind. If god did not want us to have sex he should not have made it so enjoyable. I left my husband in the care of an old friend and came east after my mother went into ICU. She is getting better, but I have not been without a man in bed with me any night since I came home, from the west. I go back next week and I don't intend not having sex at least several more times with an old boyfriend that I have had an affair with for the last nine months off and on. I think my husband has been mostly sleeping since before Christmas. So why give labels.

 

[Missingout]

Having all this time off recently definitely has made me a sex addict. That's all I'm thinking about and doing.

 

[Sheana_V]

I also don't know what it would mean to be a sex addict / nymphomaniac.
Certainly my sex drive is distracting at times. I need to excuse myself for private time throughout the day... but I don't know that I'd call it a problem.
Certainly, I'd suggest that a high sex drive and low impulse control can get you into a ton of trouble in a number of ways.

 

[Belle_Nuit]

Birth control sure made my twenties a whole lot different than they would have been before The Pill. Back in the olden days, fucking someone was important and risky enough that it had better have been with someone you were legally attached to or would be if a pregnancy came into the picture. Sex without birth control can't be (or shouldn't be) casual unless you are happy to have a baby. Knowing that pregnancy wasn't going to result in a commitment to a baby sure opened the door for sex as fun for me. I was able to relax about it. I can only imagine how unrelaxing sex could have been if I were relying on chance or 'pulling out' or on a condom not tearing.

Its interesting you wrote this. I agree with what you wrote. However I hate the pill! I was on it for years before going off. I didn't realise at the time how much it shut down my sex drive. I was protected from pregnancy, but I never wanted to have sex in the first place. Now we use condoms and pull out (both together) its worked for us so far and I actually want sex again!

As per the OP no I'm not a nympho, but at certain times in the month I'm insatiable. I've never dated a nympho (I really wouldn't want to). I can appreciate a healthy sex drive!

 

[DeceptiveSpeed]

The Pill killed my wife's sex drive. Eventually we got to the point where having good (and frequent) sex was more important that maybe making a kid.

Wife definitely isn't a nympho, but there's one particular stretch in her cycle where I know things are going to get fun.

 

[amofiga]

Please feel free to expand on the following topics.

1. Would you consider yourself a sex addict or nymphomaniac?
2. Have you ever dated/been in involved with a sex addict or nymphomaniac?
3. Any downsides to dating them?

1) I'm a guy. I do not consider my self a sex addict despite the fact that I love all varieties of sex and have not always been monogamous. However, "not monogamous" does not mean I've had sex partners indiscriminately and casually.

2) To the best of my knowledge, I've never been involved with a sex addict or nymphomaniac even though some of my female friends have certainly enjoyed sex and were also not monogamous.

3) The downside to dating a sex addict/nympho depends on how serious you are about the relationship and how secure you are emotionally. If you are secure in your own sexuality and aren't emotionally involved, there's little or no emotional downside. If you can't accept someone you're involved with having sex with other people, then it will kill you emotionally. The other more realistic downside is disease. The more sex partners someone has, the greater the probability of STD's. You need to be careful and safe.

 

[tallpdxmale]

Please feel free to expand on the following topics.

1. Would you consider yourself a sex addict or nymphomaniac?
2. Have you ever dated/been in involved with a sex addict or nymphomaniac?
3. Any downsides to dating them?

1. No; but I was probably borderline in the past.
2. Married to an addict for 10 years. The lies, deceptions and emotional damage is equal to any other addiction.
3. Consider that true addicts are compulsive, obsessive and continue their behaviors despite all consequences. It might be fun for a short while; but you really lose your reality in the drama after awhile.

I was young and stupid enough to think:
a) It was cool to have an extreme sex life
b) Once understanding the problem of my partner I could help "save" her. It ultimately took took a 30 day in-patient addiction program (Del Amo Hospital) to help her face her issues. The relationship on the other hand; just couldn't survive.

I helped my ex/friend when I could; but had to move on to save myself.

Caveat Emptor.

 

[Lazy_lay]

....
In the 1800's, nymphomania was considered a serious mental illness, and women could be sent to an institution if found to be masturbating or for enjoying sex "too much" or for engaging in "perversions" (oral or anal sex, or, not surprisingly, lesbian sex).

Damn, I'd be serving concurrent life sentences if that was practiced today.

Interesting that getting a blowjob was perfectly ok ... it was only giving one that was considered perverted. ....

"So, there you young and pretty thing. Suck my cock or I'll report you for sucking cock. Now be a good little girl..."

Well, you gotta admit....

Back on a serious note, addiction to sex can be as devastating as addition to drugs. Really nothing exciting or hot about it.

 

[MILFSauce]

addiction to sex can be as devastating as addition to drugs.

I'm not sure I'd agree with that. Take a look at a meth junkie. Not a pretty sight.

Really nothing exciting or hot about it.

True. An "addiction", by definition, is something that seriously disrupts your life and causes problems at home or work. Just liking sex a lot doesn't make it an addiction.