I have a Daddy Dom. I need to learn to respect him more. Well to show it better. I get comfortable and sometimes show disrespect even though I don't mean to. He told me to do something and I figured out a way to get around it because I didn't want to do it. He is trying to get me out of my comfort zone. It really turns me on when he takes control and I like it a lot. I want to push my limits. This is cconsensual. How do you go about pushing limits and working outside of your comfort zone?
Respect for your Dom
- Thread starter lilturtle
- Start date
Primalex
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2007
- Posts
- 6,144
Pachet
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2013
- Posts
- 170
Can't you just strip and he jerks off?
ever helpful...
Loverskitten
I bite
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2011
- Posts
- 2,186
Online relationship?
G
GrrlFriday
Guest
Ask yourself why it is out of your comfort zone. Is it out of your comfort zone for a good reason? Try writing a story where someone bashes through their own comfort zone to do that something.
CaringDaddy4U
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2013
- Posts
- 7
Lilturtle you say that "It really turns me on when he takes control and I like it a lot. I want to push my limits." and yet you are trying to find a way to get around what your Daddy has told you to do. I'm assuming that what he told you to do is not illegal or will put you in possible physical or emotional harm. If that is the case then you are being very disrespectful to your Daddy. Perhaps this is just some form of inner brat that is acting out and challenging your Daddy to see if he will be firm with you.
There should already be good communication between the two of you so I would suggest that you discuss this task with your Daddy and voice how you feel about doing it for him. He can explain why he wants you to do and how he thinks it will help you to grow.
After it's been discussed if he still wants you to do it then you should obey and do it exactly the way your Daddy tells you. Trust, respect, and your desire to please your Daddy are all critical elements of a good relationship and if you can't clearly feel their presence in yours then you need to stop and ask yourself why they are missing.
There should already be good communication between the two of you so I would suggest that you discuss this task with your Daddy and voice how you feel about doing it for him. He can explain why he wants you to do and how he thinks it will help you to grow.
After it's been discussed if he still wants you to do it then you should obey and do it exactly the way your Daddy tells you. Trust, respect, and your desire to please your Daddy are all critical elements of a good relationship and if you can't clearly feel their presence in yours then you need to stop and ask yourself why they are missing.
Thank you for your response. We did talk about it and I better understand why he asked me to do it. At first I thought it was humilation which I'm not into. I plan on doing what he says and discussing things more if I have issues. I want to be a good babygirl for him.
Loverskitten
I bite
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2011
- Posts
- 2,186
There's also a difference between LDRs and online only.
My confusion is that why wouldn't the Dom know she didn't do the "task"
Oh well, glad the OP talked it out.
I meant in person, 24/7. Although I must admit I am skeptical of online only ones that have no intention of ever being together. I was responding to that concept which is what I think of when someone says online.
TurtlesDaddy
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2013
- Posts
- 1
I am lilturtle's Daddy.
If anyone has any questions I would be happy to respond.
If anyone has any questions I would be happy to respond.
Last edited:
I showed disrespect again or lack of trust might be more like it. I got scared of something. Communication is key and hopefully we will be able to talk about it. This is a constant work in progress. Does anyone else in a D/s relationship find that to be the case?
MasterMix
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2013
- Posts
- 138
Does he really know you have this tendency to fight? I would said your issue is not that rare case. And, in my view this is the most challenging and interesting part of building a real deep d/s relationship if none of you are just looking for a toy for play.
It is this fight/tameness process so that your dom can really show you his ability of being a dom and make you submit to him trully in your heart.
Let him know your need to be tamed and see what he can do.
That reminds me of a passage from the Little Prince.
“I am looking for friends. What does that mean -- tame?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."
"To establish ties?"
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world....”
"You become responsible forever for what you’ve tamed."
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
YourCaptor
Cute Girl Connoisseur
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2007
- Posts
- 4,550
Cute name!
So is it a lack of respect, a lack of trust, or separate instances of both? It is not quite clear from your writing.
If I had to take a wild guess at what you are describing I would say you are not convinced the dom is competent.
So is it a lack of respect, a lack of trust, or separate instances of both? It is not quite clear from your writing.
If I had to take a wild guess at what you are describing I would say you are not convinced the dom is competent.
I feel he is quite competent. I struggle with my end but it has little to do with him. Maybe my inner brat?
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Posts
- 8,493
It is possible to feel someone is competent, and even trust them [to a degree], and still struggle with the vulnerability that is sometimes [often] exposed through submission.
If what he's asking for is taking things too fast, discuss slowing things down.
If you don't understand (ie: you mentioned thinking X was coming fro a place of humiliation, but after talking you realized it wasn't)... ask questions.
And if it's neither one of those things, and your inner adult/ independent person is saying "Screw that! I don't want to! [even though it's reasonable, not going to harm me, within our established limits, etc]".... suck it up and submit. That's what you asked for, right? The opportunity to submit?
If what he's asking for is taking things too fast, discuss slowing things down.
If you don't understand (ie: you mentioned thinking X was coming fro a place of humiliation, but after talking you realized it wasn't)... ask questions.
And if it's neither one of those things, and your inner adult/ independent person is saying "Screw that! I don't want to! [even though it's reasonable, not going to harm me, within our established limits, etc]".... suck it up and submit. That's what you asked for, right? The opportunity to submit?
YourCaptor
Cute Girl Connoisseur
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2007
- Posts
- 4,550
Umm, I doubt it, bratiness is not really anything difficult to deal with. And if you were a brat I think it would not be a subject of debate in your head, you would know if you were.
Again, the info you have given is very limited. You are avoiding things? Do you get tasks to do and then have to do them on your own time? If so a hands on approach may be better.
KoPilot
Obscene Epicene
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2010
- Posts
- 2,444
Yeah, bratting should just be another mindful component of an otherwise smoothly-running dynamic, like domestic servitude.
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Posts
- 8,493
How would you define "brat" outside of kink/BDSM? Everyone has experienced a willful, bratty, disobedient child at one point or another... brats in a BDSM context are similar - they'll do things, but grudgingly. They'll push buttons to get a reaction. They might also ID as SAM - Smart Ass Masochist (getting in trouble on purpose to be "punished"), etc.
YourCaptor
Cute Girl Connoisseur
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2007
- Posts
- 4,550
I think me and cutiemouse have largely been saying the same thing on this thread, but different ways of explaining the same thing can often be helpful, so.
A brat is a brat, nothing special. Just like your average extroverted 8 year old.
Brats are usually unreasonable and employ some form of annoyance.
The golden brat tactic is the temper tantrum.
They misbehave in order to get their will through. Basically they create an annoyance which can only be removed if they get whatever it is they want.
So typically, I think, (don’t really know too much about what other people do), you can simply prove the fact that you can remove the annoyance without giving them what they want.
That is pretty easy to do in a BDSM context. Not so easy to do at the grocery store.
A brat is a brat, nothing special. Just like your average extroverted 8 year old.
Brats are usually unreasonable and employ some form of annoyance.
The golden brat tactic is the temper tantrum.
They misbehave in order to get their will through. Basically they create an annoyance which can only be removed if they get whatever it is they want.
So typically, I think, (don’t really know too much about what other people do), you can simply prove the fact that you can remove the annoyance without giving them what they want.
That is pretty easy to do in a BDSM context. Not so easy to do at the grocery store.
YourCaptor
Cute Girl Connoisseur
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2007
- Posts
- 4,550
Sounds right.
About the fear thing. Maybe a safe word would be handy soon. You can also give feedback on your anxiety about anything with red, yellow, green, or 1-10.
Keep in mind that practically nobody on this board likes brats and SAMs, so understand that their definitions run on the negative side of things.
I thought we were fairly impartial and factual.
