Question for the ladies -- involving cross-dressing men

[Jessica32120]

Long story short: For halloween I went out dressed for the first time to a party, and it was great Just being there dressed, talking to boys and girls, was exhilirating.

I talked to a girl at one stage who genuinely complimented me on my legs, and later when I was leaving asked me to stay. She has a boyfriend (who was there) but it made me wonder how many women actually like or find it fun to hang out with a crossdressing guy. And so this is my question. Actually, I guess there's a few:

* If you like to see boys dressed up, would you also like to go out with them in public like that? Maybe to a club or bar?
* Do you like the idea of helping them to dress? Teaching them, or just the fun of doing it?
* Does your interest extend just as far as seeing it as a bit of fun, or does it also tweak something sexual in you as well (do you want to have sex with him while dressed?)
* If there are ladies who like all of the above, where do I find you?

Thanks in advance for any responses, I'm keenly interested. *beams a smile while flicking hair behind ear*

Jess

 

[Jessica32120]

*looks down drawing circles in the sand with her maryjanes, hands clasped behind back*

*pouts*

 

[littlecordelera]

I've known guys who dressed up as women for Halloween, but it didn't really seem like "crossdressing." Technically, I guess it was, but they didn't do it for arousal. They did it to be funny.

In all honesty, and with all due respect, a guy who gets aroused by dressing up like a woman would not appeal to me as a romantic interest. I know some gay guys who do this and I love them to death, but, for obvious reasons, we don't find each other romantically interesting.

So, to answer your question, no, I would not want to participate in crossdressing a guy as a sexual thing. But that doesn't mean I would dislike him.

 

[mara101]

*many* not all crossdressers are quite sexy and I enjoy those on a very dirty level. however, its always fun to help them dress, go out and have a fun time with them.

 

[Jacqui_S]

I've known blokes of all ages that have crossdressed to various degrees.
Some do it for a laugh, some do it because they like the clothes and some do it because they want to feel like a woman.
Personally I have no issue with it and I'm happy to be out and about with crossdressed friends.
I don't find it sexually appealing though, but that isn't to say I wouldn't fancy a guy that crossdressed.
A guy and what he wears are two different things and I wouldn't just dismiss someone because he liked to wear a skirt every now and then.

 

[Jessica32120]

I've known guys who dressed up as women for Halloween, but it didn't really seem like "crossdressing." Technically, I guess it was, but they didn't do it for arousal. They did it to be funny.

In all honesty, and with all due respect, a guy who gets aroused by dressing up like a woman would not appeal to me as a romantic interest. I know some gay guys who do this and I love them to death, but, for obvious reasons, we don't find each other romantically interesting.

Thankyou for your honesty and taking the time to reply. I completely understand

I now realise I maybe should have posted this in the GLBT forum, as any women who might find crossdressed boys attractive possibly have bi-tendencies?

*many* not all crossdressers are quite sexy and I enjoy those on a very dirty level. however, its always fun to help them dress, go out and have a fun time with them.

What does, um, 'dirty' involve?

And I think, with your reply and Jacqui's below, I realise that while some men might have a negative opinion of other men dressing up (at least, out in real life, not here on lit!), women are probably far more accepting in general.

I've known blokes of all ages that have crossdressed to various degrees.
Some do it for a laugh, some do it because they like the clothes and some do it because they want to feel like a woman.

This is certainly me. At the same time I recognise I'm not TG, I don't identify as a girl in the wrong body and want to keep my, er, boy bits. But since childhood I've felt a strong feminine side. It did later become a sexual thing, however. Yay for growing up confused!

Personally I have no issue with it and I'm happy to be out and about with crossdressed friends.
I don't find it sexually appealing though, but that isn't to say I wouldn't fancy a guy that crossdressed.
A guy and what he wears are two different things and I wouldn't just dismiss someone because he liked to wear a skirt every now and then.

That's a really eye-opening view, thankyou. That you could have a partner that dressed, and didn't mind or had fun with it, but preferred him being a man between the sheets.

 

[Jessica32120]

Bump for justice!

and curiosity

and, um, because I was hoping there would be more responses, I guess

*straightens tights, pats down skirt*

 

[FlyAwayFromHere]

a bit about me:

-Female
-Straight
-Doesnt cross dress
-Married
-Non-judgemental, couldnt care less... each to their own and they have the right to do what they want.
-age 22

answers:

* If you like to see boys dressed up, would you also like to go out with them in public like that? Maybe to a club or bar?

I have no problem going to a bar or club with someone when they are dressed out of the norm or are clearly different to the masses. In fact, i like it because i have always been bullied for who i am, and i am "normal", so i like to make an effort to show people who have harder struggles with their identity and those around them that i support them and love them for who they are. This is the only buzz i would get from this.

* Do you like the idea of helping them to dress? Teaching them, or just the fun of doing it?

In a friend way, yes. The same way i would dress and do make up, have a girly night with a girl friend. I dont identify with it sexually.

* Does your interest extend just as far as seeing it as a bit of fun, or does it also tweak something sexual in you as well (do you want to have sex with him while dressed?)

I like manly hairy men, so seeing a man dressed as a women doesnt turn me on in the slightest.

* If there are ladies who like all of the above, where do I find you?

sorry to let you down

 

[KinkyPan]

I think it is sexy as fuck to see a guy in a skirt.

I like playing with hair and makeup, so that's good fun, but when I've had occasion to help out making a guy pretty specifically *for me*?? That's extra hot.

A guy wearing girly clothes has a different feel to it than feminine clothing on a trans woman. Although I can be attracted to anyone, on a woman (regardless of GAAB) it's just clothes. On someone who primarily identifies as male, for some reason it seriously flips my switches.

I don't like some forms of feminisation play in D/s because so many people like it as a form of humiliation, like femininity is shameful in some way. That turns me right the fuck off. I will not punish someone by making him wear clothes I wear regularly. But just wearing pretty clothes to please me? That gets my motor running.

Even if he's wearing them just because he likes them, I like the look, think it's great, and if I'm attracted to him as a person I will think it's sexy as fuck. And yes, I'd happily go out in public with him dressed up.

Oh, and I know that a lot of people prefer what is sometimes called a "passable" presentation. I don't, necessarily. Sometimes hairy legs in fishnets or glossy lips surrounded by facial hair do it for me.

As for where to find ladies who like this? I'm not sure what to tell you except hang out where crossdressers, trans* people, and queer people in general are.

 

[blade_rocknut]

I've known guys who dressed up as women for Halloween, but it didn't really seem like "crossdressing." Technically, I guess it was, but they didn't do it for arousal. They did it to be funny.

In all honesty, and with all due respect, a guy who gets aroused by dressing up like a woman would not appeal to me as a romantic interest. I know some gay guys who do this and I love them to death, but, for obvious reasons, we don't find each other romantically interesting.

So, to answer your question, no, I would not want to participate in crossdressing a guy as a sexual thing. But that doesn't mean I would dislike him.

I would have to interject a wedge of doubt into the assertion that men do this on Halloween just to be funny. Yes; it works very well that way when properly affected, but I'd bet 90% or more of us are exercising our "go out dressed without fear of being found out" card. Crossdressing among straight men is far more common than people would like to accept, with most of them being deeply in the closet about it.

Also, arousal is not the primary motivator for it... more like satisfaction of a curiosity, fulfillment of a void, or some sense of completeness. Arousal often is a side effect; IMHO, wrought from the societal taboo of the act. The arousal tends to decrease with time; the desire to dress and feel that completeness does not.

I did quite a lot of Halloween dressing this year; none of it on the convincing, all out level. Running 5 and 10 k races as a girl... was a blast. Posing for pictures with women...groups of women in awe of my bravery ( and legs) was a blast. I will say though; 10k in Florida heat with an industrial sports bra stuffed with 8 cups of rapidly saturated rice... was NOT arousing!

 

[Asian_Flower]

Hi Jessica, to be honest, I have no interest at all in men like this in a romantic context, friends, not an issue. I am attracted to the Alpha male, rugged, masculine, muscular types. Just a personal preference.

 

[Marci_M]

Having grown up with a brother that loved to wear my clothes, I became very used to seeing a man in pretty things, so it doesn't bother me at all. We often went out as two sisters to clubs, or to shop. I think it made us even closer - sharing many more things.

I'd be more than willing to be with a man that cross-dressed, and if it turned out to be more than just hanging out, that would be nice, too. I've always wanted to find a bisexual man to be with as I'm very bi. Just think of all the fun we'd have sharing outfits and lovers

 

[blade_rocknut]

Hi Jessica, to be honest, I have no interest at all in men like this in a romantic context, friends, not an issue. I am attracted to the Alpha male, rugged, masculine, muscular types. Just a personal preference.

Another point I hear quite a lot. (in forums on other sites, in particular)

While I certainly won't tell you your taste is wrong (we all have our preferences for sure), it seems a commonly held misconception that crossdresser is congruent with sissy, or weak, or frail, or submissive. The hiccup in wiring that brings on that urge to do these things is not exclusive of masculinity... those guys just have a harder time pulling off the look, and likely a tougher time coming to grips with it; given their otherwise "alpha" persona.

Obviously, I'm not trying to change anyone's mind about whom to find attractive; rather asserting that you *just never know* what "type" of person has or does find satisfaction in temporarily escaping their "assigned" role in life. I certainly hid it pretty well until a few years ago; and still do in regard to the general public.

I could start a new profile here, only use shirtless pics or facial ones with a week's beard...and no one would know. I (and many others like me) am a guy. I do guy things. I Crossfit, I race bikes and triathlon, I hunt, fish, shoot, compete in archery tourneys, work on cars & trucks and make my living in the construction industry wearing a tool belt.

Stereotypes suck.

 

[Redrosewitch]

Me me for sure !

Hadn't realised that cross dressed guys could turn me on before coming here, then I found these threads and OMG !

I'd want the whole deal, dressing together, and yes sex with a cross dressed guy would turn me right on.

Sadly hubby isn't into wearing ladies clothing, but I'm working on him to be able to do some sharing.

 

[eroticajim]

I think it is sexy as fuck to see a guy in a skirt.

Glad to hear your views, KinkyPan. Very glad to hear someone who doesn't automatically associate dressing femme with humiliation, cuckolding, and emasculation (turn me off).

My wife indulges me but I also had a female friend before her who indulged me non-sexually. I had a hard time (lol) not being aroused when I was around her as she got very comfortable with me in dress up, walking around in her panties. I would have loved to be with her sexually and romantically but it wasn't reciprocated. Still it was great having a female friend for shopping, dress up and tips on makeup etc.

(Oh, and I've done the dress femme "for a lark" on Halloween when it was totally a way for me to dress in public without having to be quite as brave. Very arousing.)

 

[Jessica32120]

Thanks everyone for the honest responses, very informative!

Hi Jessica, to be honest, I have no interest at all in men like this in a romantic context, friends, not an issue. I am attracted to the Alpha male, rugged, masculine, muscular types. Just a personal preference.

No problem, thanks for taking the time to reply

I think it is sexy as fuck to see a guy in a skirt.

I like playing with hair and makeup, so that's good fun, but when I've had occasion to help out making a guy pretty specifically *for me*?? That's extra hot.

And if you find it hot, I guarantee e'll find that huge turn on in itself!

I don't like some forms of feminisation play in D/s because so many people like it as a form of humiliation, like femininity is shameful in some way.

I'm so glad you said this. For myself, I get off on fantasies of being dressed and having sex with a girl or guy. But if you go looking for porn based around this it's predominantly degrading to the person cross-dressing. Most of it seems to revolve around the act being humiliating, and getting off on that humiliation. I'm sure some do, and I won't begrudge someone their particular kink, but for me that's not true at all. The hottest fantasy for me is to be dressed as a girl, and treated like a girl sexually, as if I was a genetic girl having sex with her partner. Like a female friend dressing me up and making me look passable, picking up a guy together, and then teaching me how to please a guy sexually for my 'first time' (er, is it getting hot in here? *phew!*).

The male/female powerplay can be fun, and I'm certainly submissive as a girl, but there's a huge difference between dominance/submissiveness and humiliating someone (and after all, there are many ways to humiliate someone that have nothing to do with dressing as the other gender). So I don't get why it's so popular in cross-dressing porn to make it a humiliating experience. It's more arousing for me to be treated like a regular girl when I'm dressed.

Oh, and I know that a lot of people prefer what is sometimes called a "passable" presentation. I don't, necessarily. Sometimes hairy legs in fishnets or glossy lips surrounded by facial hair do it for me.

Haha you're fantastic *puts down the razor for my stubble, re-applies lippy*.

I would have to interject a wedge of doubt into the assertion that men do this on Halloween just to be funny. Yes; it works very well that way when properly affected, but I'd bet 90% or more of us are exercising our "go out dressed without fear of being found out" card.

That was certainly me It was liberating, too, to finally do it.

Also, arousal is not the primary motivator for it... more like satisfaction of a curiosity, fulfillment of a void, or some sense of completeness. Arousal often is a side effect; IMHO, wrought from the societal taboo of the act. The arousal tends to decrease with time; the desire to dress and feel that completeness does not.

Just as another perspective -- I think the above is certainly true for those who are more gender-dysmorphic, as the dressing is an expression of who they feel they are, sometimes separate from sex.

After many years of dressing and many years of running around in one's head questioning yourself, I've come to realise the above is not true for me. Instead it is largely a sexually arousing experience, that's only got stronger with time, and that ultimately I like being a guy when I'm not dressed. I'm also in that odd camp that isn't attracted to men, but when I dress I totally want to have sex with a cock. Still working that one out. But on the whole it's not an identity thing for me, it's a fun sex thing. The problem is that I've got to the stage where it's the most powerful and guaranteed way for me to get aroused. As in, I get off more thinking about being dressed as a girl having sex, than having sex with me being a guy. Hence, finding a partner who likes, or is even aroused, by this kink would kinda be a perfect match!

I'd be more than willing to be with a man that cross-dressed, and if it turned out to be more than just hanging out, that would be nice, too. I've always wanted to find a bisexual man to be with as I'm very bi. Just think of all the fun we'd have sharing outfits and lovers

Oh my, now if only I was in NY

 

[FistedSister]

I have several cross-dressing friends. Even when I was younger

I did. And, I've always had lot of fun with them.

 

[StacyTG]

I would LOVE to find a woman like you describe, but certainly not on a physical/relationship level.

See, here's the thing. I'm transgendered. I know I was born into the wrong body. I wanted to come out to my mother, but she died before I could open my heart to her, and now I'm left with trying to deal with this on my own. It would be nice to find a "girlfriend", more of a "best-friend" relationship. Someone who could help me with my hair and make-up, pick out clothes, etc.

Let's be honest. I was born a guy, so I've been conditioned to shop, groom as a guy, so learning to coordinate patterns and colors is a completely new experience for me!

If I could find a woman who was interested in me sexually, well I guess that would be nice, but since I'm pretty sure I'm gay (being transgendered, does that make me straight?) I'm not sure a romantic LTR with genetic female is at all what I want!

 

[blade_rocknut]

I would LOVE to find a woman like you describe, but certainly not on a physical/relationship level.

See, here's the thing. I'm transgendered. I know I was born into the wrong body. I wanted to come out to my mother, but she died before I could open my heart to her, and now I'm left with trying to deal with this on my own. It would be nice to find a "girlfriend", more of a "best-friend" relationship. Someone who could help me with my hair and make-up, pick out clothes, etc.

Let's be honest. I was born a guy, so I've been conditioned to shop, groom as a guy, so learning to coordinate patterns and colors is a completely new experience for me!

If I could find a woman who was interested in me sexually, well I guess that would be nice, but since I'm pretty sure I'm gay (being transgendered, does that make me straight?) I'm not sure a romantic LTR with genetic female is at all what I want!

I've observed (through online channels, at least) that a good portion of TG folk settle into a pansexual attitude; though I think most would prefer one or the other, romantically.

 

[Dyslexicea]

I would LOVE to find a woman like you describe, but certainly not on a physical/relationship level.

See, here's the thing. I'm transgendered. I know I was born into the wrong body. I wanted to come out to my mother, but she died before I could open my heart to her, and now I'm left with trying to deal with this on my own. It would be nice to find a "girlfriend", more of a "best-friend" relationship. Someone who could help me with my hair and make-up, pick out clothes, etc.

Let's be honest. I was born a guy, so I've been conditioned to shop, groom as a guy, so learning to coordinate patterns and colors is a completely new experience for me!

If I could find a woman who was interested in me sexually, well I guess that would be nice, but since I'm pretty sure I'm gay (being transgendered, does that make me straight?) I'm not sure a romantic LTR with genetic female is at all what I want!

I just had to comment.

I do understand your need for a close woman friend. Surprising how many straight women lack having one after they get married, especially if she doesn't have a sister. With many of my hetero friends I seem to be the default best friend.

It's normal for most women to be attracted to men and being you are a woman I'd have to say you're straight. Being trans makes you no less a woman than I am.

As for the OP, if a man dresses as a woman to express his feminine nature I have no problem but if it's merely for sexual stimulation I'm not likely to want his friendship.

 

[stickygirl]

Stacy, Blade & Dys
You're lovely and there are some interesting posts here - nice thread OP

As a trans* person the thing that really messed with my head was that initially, I was aroused by dressing as a girl. It was about the first thing I blurted to my counsellor because I was trying cover up the truth. As a boy full of testosterone I found pretty much everything made me horny… breathing…
Once that balloon was burst by my counsellor - "So you feel horny - that's just biology talking" then I could put that aside as a distraction to acknowledging my true gender.
Now as a woman I really don't find men cross-dressing attractive: I don't object to it, why shoud I, but it doesn't get me hot. Blade has me figured because I'm realising that I am pansexual. Despite being a regular on Lit, I'm not into 'sex for the sake of it'.

 

[Jessica32120]

Let's be honest. I was born a guy, so I've been conditioned to shop, groom as a guy, so learning to coordinate patterns and colors is a completely new experience for me!

I can definitely relate to this!

If I could find a woman who was interested in me sexually, well I guess that would be nice, but since I'm pretty sure I'm gay (being transgendered, does that make me straight?) I'm not sure a romantic LTR with genetic female is at all what I want!

And something also I struggle with. I would say 'oh why isn't sexuality black and white?' but then I think humanity would be all the less interesting if it were.

I've observed (through online channels, at least) that a good portion of TG folk settle into a pansexual attitude; though I think most would prefer one or the other, romantically.

I think your comment hits unnervingly close to home. Thanks Blade (more to think about!)

I just had to comment.
As for the OP, if a man dresses as a woman to express his feminine nature I have no problem but if it's merely for sexual stimulation I'm not likely to want his friendship.

So, you're saying if it's gender-dysmorphia you're ok with it but if it's not you wouldn't even be their friend? For me, as with someone born in the wrong body, I didn't choose this. I don't know where it came from, but just because it's sexual it's no less valid a state of being. I can understand it precluding a romantic involvement if that's not your thing, but precluding even a friendship with the person? Really? Is it so offensive to you?

Stacy, Blade & Dys
As a trans* person the thing that really messed with my head was that initially, I was aroused by dressing as a girl. It was about the first thing I blurted to my counsellor because I was trying cover up the truth. As a boy full of testosterone I found pretty much everything made me horny… breathing…
Once that balloon was burst by my counsellor - "So you feel horny - that's just biology talking" then I could put that aside as a distraction to acknowledging my true gender.

Heh, I would say this would be me, but I'm a grown man now and admittedly the testosterone is no less driving than it was when I was younger. If I put any stock in Astrology, I'd say it was the Scorpio in me. But it's interesting what your counsellor said. Something that helped me recently I found on another forum where someone said (paraphrasing here):

It's simple -- there's the sex you feel you are, and the sex you're attracted to.

For me, despite totally loving being a girl and identifying heavily as a girl sexually, this (mostly) only happens when I'm aroused. I've come to relate sexually as a female when I'm being, well, sexual. So I realised, for me at least, I'm not trans in the sense of being in the wrong body -- which gave me a huge respect for those that are, as I can relate to the need to dress, only for different reasons. It also helped explain why, even when I am dressed and totally turned on by the thought of being with a man sexually, that in the street it's women I notice. It's women I seem drawn to. This obviously doesn't bode well for being a straight trans-woman, if that's what I were, but then if sex were so black and white (getting back to the above) I doubt we'd have forums like this It's confusing, but we all have our own journey.

Now as a woman I really don't find men cross-dressing attractive: I don't object to it, why shoud I, but it doesn't get me hot. Blade has me figured because I'm realising that I am pansexual. Despite being a regular on Lit, I'm not into 'sex for the sake of it'.

In many ways I wish I felt like you. It would be so much simpler.

 

[xdressslut]

involing cross dressing

hi just wanted to briefly comment I dress and have been for years since young I love both genders equally in saying that '' I truly believe in " Live and Let Live "" and I finf most people to be ok hugs

Cheryl

 

[stickygirl]

So, you're saying if it's gender-dysmorphia you're ok with it but if it's not you wouldn't even be their friend?

Knowing a little of Dys, I think you just misread that or maybe she typoed it? I've had only fair and considerate replies from Dys and I know she wouldn't hold someone's ID or sexuality against them. She's good people

But it's interesting what your counsellor said. Something that helped me recently I found on another forum where someone said (paraphrasing here):

It's simple -- there's the sex you feel you are, and the sex you're attracted to.

Yup - that's why the word gender is more commonly used to describe ones self-defined sex.... terminology isn't my strong point - there's a snappier phrase

For me, despite totally loving being a girl and identifying heavily as a girl sexually, this (mostly) only happens when I'm aroused. I've come to relate sexually as a female when I'm being, well, sexual. So I realised, for me at least, I'm not trans in the sense of being in the wrong body -- which gave me a huge respect for those that are, as I can relate to the need to dress, only for different reasons. It also helped explain why, even when I am dressed and totally turned on by the thought of being with a man sexually, that in the street it's women I notice. It's women I seem drawn to. This obviously doesn't bode well for being a straight trans-woman, if that's what I were, but then if sex were so black and white (getting back to the above) I doubt we'd have forums like this It's confusing, but we all have our own journey.


In many ways I wish I felt like you. It would be so much simpler.

You've confused me a little because in an earlier post I thought you said you didn't ID as a woman. But I hear the rattle of label-chains approaching - please - lets not go there!! From what you've said you sound to be gender fluid. You can either regard that as a blessing or a curse!

 

[FistedSister]

I would LOVE to find a woman like you describe, but certainly not on a physical/relationship level.

See, here's the thing. I'm transgendered. I know I was born into the wrong body. I wanted to come out to my mother, but she died before I could open my heart to her, and now I'm left with trying to deal with this on my own. It would be nice to find a "girlfriend", more of a "best-friend" relationship. Someone who could help me with my hair and make-up, pick out clothes, etc.

Let's be honest. I was born a guy, so I've been conditioned to shop, groom as a guy, so learning to coordinate patterns and colors is a completely new experience for me!

If I could find a woman who was interested in me sexually, well I guess that would be nice, but since I'm pretty sure I'm gay (being transgendered, does that make me straight?) I'm not sure a romantic LTR with genetic female is at all what I want!

Let's talk, Stacy. I'm Helen.