Learning to write tender and romantic sex

[Feotakahari]

I'm trying to write a sex scene between two characters who've been in love for a very long time. My goal is to make it less idealized and spectacular than I usually go for, and more of a cute, tender scene. I've been trying to learn from the stories in the romance section, but even those tend to be less emotional than I'm going for--the scenes around the sex are tender, and then the sex itself turns into just another bland list of actions and reactions. Can anyone recommend authors (here or elsewhere) who can really make sex scenes feel tender, and who I might be able to learn to mimic?

 

[Cruel2BKind]

I'm trying to write a sex scene between two characters who've been in love for a very long time. My goal is to make it less idealized and spectacular than I usually go for, and more of a cute, tender scene. I've been trying to learn from the stories in the romance section, but even those tend to be less emotional than I'm going for--the scenes around the sex are tender, and then the sex itself turns into just another bland list of actions and reactions. Can anyone recommend authors (here or elsewhere) who can really make sex scenes feel tender, and who I might be able to learn to mimic?

It helps if you know/care about the people involved. I don't really know how to do tenderness shorthand.

Try reading Robcub32's stuff. He's fantastic.

 

[oggbashan]

You could try some of mine:

http://www.literotica.com/s/dinner-with-friends-1

http://www.literotica.com/s/e-mail-valentine

http://www.literotica.com/s/faded-card

http://www.literotica.com/s/flawed-red-silk-ch-10 (Not A Woman - longer story)

http://www.literotica.com/s/genie-1

http://www.literotica.com/s/hedgehog-feud

http://www.literotica.com/s/nursery-santa

If they don't suit what you want, they might give you a better idea of what you do want to write.

 

[DeYaKen]

I'm trying to write a sex scene between two characters who've been in love for a very long time. My goal is to make it less idealized and spectacular than I usually go for, and more of a cute, tender scene. I've been trying to learn from the stories in the romance section, but even those tend to be less emotional than I'm going for--the scenes around the sex are tender, and then the sex itself turns into just another bland list of actions and reactions. Can anyone recommend authors (here or elsewhere) who can really make sex scenes feel tender, and who I might be able to learn to mimic?

FWIW I would concentrate on the feeling other than those of the genitalia. Things like the feeling of swelling in the chest. the touching and caressing kissing of the neck and shoulders if one is more experienced than the other you could have them guiding the other. Try to think back to the first time you made love to someone you were really in love with and try to describe how it felt.

 

[lovecraft68]

FWIW I would concentrate on the feeling other than those of the genitalia. Things like the feeling of swelling in the chest. the touching and caressing kissing of the neck and shoulders if one is more experienced than the other you could have them guiding the other. Try to think back to the first time you made love to someone you were really in love with and try to describe how it felt.

I'm still waiting to make love for the first time

 

[DeYaKen]

I'm still waiting to make love for the first time

You must be much younger than I

 

[lovecraft68]

You must be much younger than I

Nah, I just really can't ever remember "making love" in that truly romantic way. I spent a lot of my years in the lifestyle and have always been into "porno sex"

My wife and I will hold hands and be very affectionate during the course of the night, but once we hit bed we're both into hot and nasty.

we'll cuddle up afterwards, but during neither of us has a romantic bone in our bodies. Guess its what makes us work we'd be in trouble of one of us was into Harlequin sex.

So I'm with the OP in looking for some example of this because needless to say I'm only winging it when I write about it.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

http://www.literotica.com/s/inside-my-head-1

This link isn't meant to brag about romance ... Actually kind of the opposite. But its a good enough example of viewpoint writing that should neatly tie up your problem. No matter what style of writer you are, if you take advantage of viewpoint writing and your character is feeling that the encounter is romantic, well ... It should translate that way to the reader.

Good luck.

 

[PennLady]

I'm not actually sure how "tender" my stuff is, but I do write romance and much of it is on the softer side. It doesn't mean it can't be explicit, but there are different feelings involved, I think. You might consider that each person might more concerned about the other person's reaction or enjoyment than their own.

I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for, but here are a couple of mine if you'd like to check them out.

Who Cares What I Wear?

King's Bay

Christmas Creep

Morning Sun

And here's a link to my page, too, if you want to see a few more. I have a couple of multi-part stories here that have a few scenes.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm not actually sure how "tender" my stuff is, but I do write romance and much of it is on the softer side. It doesn't mean it can't be explicit, but there are different feelings involved, I think. You might consider that each person might more concerned about the other person's reaction or enjoyment than their own.

I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for, but here are a couple of mine if you'd like to check them out.

Who Cares What I Wear?

King's Bay

Christmas Creep

Morning Sun

And here's a link to my page, too, if you want to see a few more. I have a couple of multi-part stories here that have a few scenes.

I enjoyed Who cares what I Wear.

I mean, I never read romance, ever!

 

[patientlee]

PennLady does romance very nicely. I recommend Rhythm and the Blue Line.

(As I watch the Bruins almost score on Toronto. Damn.)

I'm not actually sure how "tender" my stuff is, but I do write romance and much of it is on the softer side. It doesn't mean it can't be explicit, but there are different feelings involved, I think. You might consider that each person might more concerned about the other person's reaction or enjoyment than their own.

I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for, but here are a couple of mine if you'd like to check them out.

Who Cares What I Wear?

King's Bay

Christmas Creep

Morning Sun

And here's a link to my page, too, if you want to see a few more. I have a couple of multi-part stories here that have a few scenes.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

I enjoyed Who cares what I Wear.

I mean, I never read romance, ever!

Ditto!!!! Heheheheh

 

[sunandshadow]

I write romance. When I am aiming for a particularly tender scene I usually focus on how one of the characters has some anxiety or upsetness that is soothed during the course of the sex. If you've ever seen stories tagged h/c, that stands for hurt/comfort, and it's considered one of the major "fetishes" among romance readers, with the comfort part being the appealing payoff one, the hurt is only there to create an opportunity for the comfort. This hurt is usually not a physical injury, but instead a feeling of being inadequate, neglected, insulted, unwanted, pathetic, clumsy, awkward, bullied, misunderstood, etc.

Example: One of the characters may have an unpleasant encounter with a parent they have a bad relationship with; their partner would want to distract them from dwelling on their dark thoughts and cheer them up or calm them down afterward, and would use cuddles, kisses, compliments, willingly accepting orders from the irritated person or creating a situation where the irritated person doesn't have to make any decisions; that part's like a vary mild version of power exchange.

 

[RoyceConnors]

Tender comes from all the emotion that's a part of that experience. The desire for it to be perfect and special and fairytale nice. To make it real, have trouble getting the bra undone, holes in his socks, real life foibles that normally happen

It can be as perfect as you want, or fraught with pitfalls that happen. Interruptions, kids, phone, all the usual things that happen in life at the wrong time. That makes for a tender scene.

 

[DeYaKen]

Tender comes from all the emotion that's a part of that experience. The desire for it to be perfect and special and fairytale nice. To make it real, have trouble getting the bra undone, holes in his socks, real life foibles that normally happen

It can be as perfect as you want, or fraught with pitfalls that happen. Interruptions, kids, phone, all the usual things that happen in life at the wrong time. That makes for a tender scene.

I'd agree with that. If it's their first time he should fumble with the buttons on her blouse. She should be pulling his shirt up so that she can run her hands over his bare back as she hugs him. she should have trouble with his belt. No Blow jobs or pussy eating at this stage. They are in love it is the closeness, being part of one another, that is important. The physical enjoyment of sex comes upon them it is not what they are pursuing. There should be no shouts of Harder , Faster. ( No woman has ever yelled that at me, maybe I'm doing it wrong).

If it is a first time for both of them you might like to remember that most people consider that their first time was disappointing.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I'm trying to write a sex scene between two characters who've been in love for a very long time. My goal is to make it less idealized and spectacular than I usually go for, and more of a cute, tender scene. I've been trying to learn from the stories in the romance section, but even those tend to be less emotional than I'm going for--the scenes around the sex are tender, and then the sex itself turns into just another bland list of actions and reactions. Can anyone recommend authors (here or elsewhere) who can really make sex scenes feel tender, and who I might be able to learn to mimic?

I think I do a reasonable job at this in some parts of my story "A Stringed Instrument", although not all the sex is like that. This might be one of the better examples from my work: http://www.literotica.com/s/a-stringed-instrument-ch-09?page=2

 

[SecondCircle]

I liked Rhythm and the Blue Line, and I usually don't care to read much romance, so I'd check it out. I'm not saying anyone should "write like" this person or that one, but reading can help you assess what you like and don't like, and you can learn as much from good stories as bad ones. ...Rhythm and the Blue line is a good one.

I agree that romance does seem to work better with a focus on the emotions that are involved with the love making. Take the reader not only into a character's head, but their heart. Explain what they feel at the tiniest touch. The smallest things seem like an atom bomb to a person in love. The slightest glance can make someone's knees weak and their body feel like melting butter.

On another note, the OP said the characters have been in love for a long time. I'm unclear as to whether that means they've been together for a while as a couple, like happily married, or if they've been crushing one one another from a distance, and actually haven't made love yet. If it's the latter, then yes you can play on the "first time making love" emotions, where everything seems so wonderful but clumsy at the same time.

However if they are a couple that has been together for quite some time, and have made love before, it'll be slightly different. The love making becomes a different feeling down the road, as does attraction. I've noticed that the things that matter most for my wife and myself are the things unattainable by another person. Play on the little things still, but things that are very personal. The way SHE smiles, or the way HIS touch is rough but gentle. The way HER voice sounds to HIM. The way HIS eyes glow. Not just any details, but the particular things that each person has found attractive about their mate. Irreplaceable details that they can't possibly imagine finding in someone else, deeper than just a curvy figure or huge cock.

Its a similar thing to that "first time" romance, only now its stood the test of time.

Ah. Rambling again. Good luck with the hot flashes.

 

[slyc_willie]

I find that what often helps create the right kind of mood with readers is a simple matter of word choice. If I'm writing a raw, heated, passionate sex scene in the backseat of a car, then I'm going to have Bruce "slamming his hard cock into Julie's simmering cunt."

On the other hand, with a tender scene on a beachfront lanai at sunset, Bruce would more likely be "pushing gently within Julie's trembling body, gazing down into her eyes with affection."

Word choice can have tremendous impact on a story. I try not to get too flowery with what few romantic pieces I've written, but I don't use words like cock, cunt, fuck, bang, slam or plow too often in those.

 

[RoyceConnors]

I see this as a platonic love that has come full circle and it's time to take the next step and become physical. Like most, it's as planned out as it can be, but generally it never follows it.

Some things should play out well to set the scene and romance of the moment, but dialog should end up stinted, as they try to describe what they want to do, or how they feel, as nerves play out. The respect of the moment should be upheld completely, but as stated, life doesn't always co-operate and stuff happens.

As clumsy as the sex might be, you should try and always get the intention of what they want to do. Maybe have the first attempt go a bit off and then talk a bit and then try again and now it works better.

That would play out to be a very tender scene of a first time.

 

[Darkniciad]

I think people are getting a bit distracted with the "first time" element. That wasn't really a part of the original query.

Slyc has the best starting point - word choice. You don't have to go full-blown Harlequin romance, but toning down the vulgarity and sprinkling in a few soft euphemisms makes a big difference.

Concentrate on the bodies in motion rather than zooming in on the genitalia. Tone down any vocalizations, both in the words used and intensity. Slow things down so they have time to kiss and caress. Give the same treatment to the orgasms.

 

[sr71plt]

In terms of word choice, using "Bruce" for a hetero story will be seen by quite a few as a bad word choice to begin with.

Sort of like using Lance.

 

[lovecraft68]

Bruce had such a Homosexual connotation to it that when They created the Incredible Hulk TV show in the 70's/80's(The Ferrigno Hulk) they changed Banner's first name to David from the original comic name Bruce.

 

[patientlee]

I hear Bruce, I see a shark going, "Here's Brucie!"

 

[Darkniciad]

I hear Bruce, I see a shark going, "Here's Brucie!"

And this is all I can think of:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f_p0CgPeyA

 

[SecondCircle]

I think people are getting a bit distracted with the "first time" element. That wasn't really a part of the original query.

Slyc has the best starting point - word choice. You don't have to go full-blown Harlequin romance, but toning down the vulgarity and sprinkling in a few soft euphemisms makes a big difference.

Concentrate on the bodies in motion rather than zooming in on the genitalia. Tone down any vocalizations, both in the words used and intensity. Slow things down so they have time to kiss and caress. Give the same treatment to the orgasms.

This is right too. The way you word things has a huge effect on the kind of story you're telling, like the lighting in a movie or something, the connotations are just right there in the word choice.

I wouldn't say follow one single device or advice given here. All are examples that could be used together. "First time" is just an example that one could use along with many many others, it's not meant to be the only thing. Just a possibility.

But I think mood setting is paramount. Those word choices, those emotions, those little things that piece together one big glowing picture... these are all dials that you can use to fine tune the atmosphere of your story. Romance should teem with a feeling of love.

... But I don't think I'll be writing one any time soon.