Wwyd or what would you do?

[Recidiva]

some people pretend to seek advice as a way to get attention

Yes, they do.

For instance, I have no patience with someone asking for advice on the same problem over and over when they think that "suffering" equals effort.

I'll tell them that I've given them all I've got and that thinking about it just wastes time. Start trying something and then get back to me, otherwise let's watch a movie.

I'll give the same advice a few times before I'll say I'm out of patience on the subject and it's a waste of time to talk about it over and over. Keep in mind for me that's probably a couple of hundred hours of analysis before I finally put it aside and say let's bake bread or do something useful if we're going to talk about it again.

But in general, it rarely gets to that point because there aren't a lot of people I'm close to that don't get my point the first time and feel the need to repeat it.

With my kids, though, there's no expiration point, I'll listen because that's my job.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I don't judge but I also don't sugarcoat it. In most cases my friends take my advice, because they know I'm direct and I think about all the angles. Questions concerning relationships, I never know who will or who won't follow my advice. It's a coin toss, love can make common sense take a holiday.

 

[Debbie]

With my kids, though, there's no expiration point, I'll listen because that's my job.

I love my children dearly but when there was too much teenage drama llama I would say:

"You don't want to hear anyone else's opinion but your own so I have nothing more to say."

 

[Recidiva]

I love my children dearly but when there was too much teenage drama llama I would say:

"You don't want to hear anyone else's opinion but your own so I have nothing more to say."

Yeah, it's tricky because my son has Asperger's and I can't actually tell at which repetition he will listen or not listen. Two hundred? Five hundred and seven? Three thousand and fifty two?

It's made me rethink that fact for a lot of people.

I've persisted often enough and gotten results long after I thought it would have been a dead subject, so I think I've defaulted to letting people surprise me and being patient, if somewhat irreverent in my delivery.

It's not always patient though, I cycle through emotions and sometimes, to my surprise, genuinely getting angry has done the trick where patience didn't.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I don't judge but I also don't sugarcoat it. In most cases my friends take my advice, because they know I'm direct and I think about all the angles. Questions concerning relationships, I never know who will or who won't follow my advice. It's a coin toss, love can make common sense take a holiday.

Of course you judge, unless youre a dolt who waits for houses to fall on them and the winds to push them around. If you assess all the angles I assume you adjudicate a choice.

 

[Debbie]

Yeah, it's tricky because my son has Asperger's and I can't actually tell at which repetition he will listen or not listen. Two hundred? Five hundred and seven? Three thousand and fifty two?

It's not always patient though, I cycle through emotions and sometimes, to my surprise, genuinely getting angry has done the trick where patience didn't.

Patience is supposedly a virtue. If only parents could buy calm pills or patience tonics when needed.

If I am really angry I am silent.

When my sons were younger you would hear them whispering.

"We've done it now. She's not saying a word."

bigrednz just enjoys the silence from my nattering.

 

[Recidiva]

Patience is supposedly a virtue. If only parents could buy calm pills or patience tonics when needed.

If I am really angry I am silent.

When my sons were younger you would hear them whispering.

"We've done it now. She's not saying a word."

bigrednz just enjoys the silence from my nattering.

I had to learn to be patient and then I learned all sorts of uses for it.

My daughter and I had a hell of a time, because our personalities were very different. Nothing worked. One day I slapped her. Then I slapped her again. I said something like "This is how you make people feel. If you feel like reporting me to Social Services, do it now so I can miss a day of work." and walked away.

It was a huge breakthrough. She finally respected me.

This is partly why I'm not a dog person. I don't WANT to be alpha. I don't WANT to do that crap, but if I have to, I will. Bitching about it all the while. In her case, she needed me to do it so she would take me seriously.

Now we get along just fine.

I try everything I think is reasonable and if they don't work, I'll start doing the unreasonable stuff I think will appeal to their personality.

In general though, most people can't push me to slap them in order to communicate, I'll walk out way before that point. Can't be friends with people who act like dogs.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Of course you judge, unless youre a dolt who waits for houses to fall on them and the winds to push them around. If you assess all the angles I assume you adjudicate a choice.

I usually just state the choices and pros and cons. I sometimes ask them questions, if they are particularly conflicted. I'm a little more insistent in romance issues, only because intelligence drops due to redirected blood flow.

Most people know the answers to their problems, I just remind them they do.

If they keep saying but, it means they know and they don't want to accept the solution.

 

[girlsmiley]

https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/p480x480/1379434_766380163391439_1955770568_n.jpg

Hahaha! Brilliant.