Wwyd or what would you do?

[Debbie]

When people ask for your advice do you give it or politely change the subject?

 

[dolf]

depends on the person and the topic.

 

[warrior queen]

I have no fear, no shame and no dignity.... ask for advice and you're going to get it. No frills, no pc, no punches pulled.

 

[SeaDaddy1]

What dolf said.

 

[Not Normal]

If they ask I give.

 

[Debbie]

I find that more often than not people don't really want your advice.

What they really want is to be told what to do or want feedback.

I'm a sounding board and that's ok but there's no need to go off the deep end if you ask for an honest answer and get one.

 

[gravyrug]

I find that more often than not people don't really want your advice.

What they really want is to be told what to do or want feedback.

I'm a sounding board and that's ok but there's no need to go off the deep end if you ask for an honest answer and get one.

That's why I mostly just ask questions till they figure it out themselves. Unless it's about something I actually know the answer to.

 

[Debbie]

That's why I mostly just ask questions till they figure it out themselves.

Now that is good advice.

I used to do that to my teenagers.

It was so much easier to deal with a situation rather than a small thing turning into teenage my world is over type drama if they came to their own conclusions.

Teenage meltdowns can be so melodramatic, entertaining and emotionally draining.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I own a cool book about pediatric cardiovascular surgery. In it the world famous surgeon talks about how his students refuse to follow directions and take his advice until after they create a DEFCON 5 crisis he has to repair.

I find its true for most things, people resist counsel and instruction till after they have a crisis they cant deal with.

 

[SeaDaddy1]

The most consistent, singular word used to describe me among both friends and foes alike is "integrity". I value my friends as a whole; and sometimes the sum of their parts is greater than the whole. I strive to be as honest and truthful with them as I can. Their feelings and emotions on particular subjects are taken into consideration above any else I might already have an unmovable objection to. Sometimes I lie if I disagree...because they are forever in my heart and I don't want to hurt them. Sometimes I still stay the course of my own principles, methods, values, etc., and I hope that friend will still value and love me as I do them.

 

[SeaDaddy1]

That's why I mostly just ask questions till they figure it out themselves. Unless it's about something I actually know the answer to.

Awesome.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The most consistent, singular word used to describe me among both friends and foes alike is "integrity". I value my friends as a whole; and sometimes the sum of their parts is greater than the whole. I strive to be as honest and truthful with them as I can. Their feelings and emotions on particular subjects are taken into consideration above any else I might already have an unmovable objection to. Sometimes I lie if I disagree...because they are forever in my heart and I don't want to hurt them. Sometimes I still stay the course of my own principles, methods, values, etc., and I hope that friend will still value and love me as I do them.

Naaah. Truth and honesty kills most relationships. Most of the time relationship death comes soon after our cherished friends and lovers get arrested or caught in the act. The minute theyre exposed as a sinner in the paper or on tv, kiss them goodbye.

 

[warrior queen]

That's why I mostly just ask questions till they figure it out themselves. Unless it's about something I actually know the answer to.

Mostly, I do that too.
But if someone asks me directly, they're going to get a completely honest, up-front response.
Luckily, most of my friends know they're going to get an uncensored answer

 

[SeaDaddy1]

Naaah. Truth and honesty kills most relationships. Most of the time relationship death comes soon after our cherished friends and lovers get arrested or caught in the act. The minute theyre exposed as a sinner in the paper or on tv, kiss them goodbye.

True that. Most times I've been most honest in an attempt to prevent the inevitable are times I've lost good friends who failed to listen to the advice or opinion I had to offer. Publicity/media never plays a role in my friendships.

 

[oggbashan]

It depends on why they are asking for my advice.

If it is just for information on which they can base a decision e.g. what is the easiest way to get from A to B (instead of the SatNav way), then I'll give it - if I know.

Aside: My daughter's in laws recently went to Disney Paris. They used their SatNav to get directions. It sent them down the Champs Elysee in the rush hour. I would have told them to use the Peripherique and wait until AFTER the rush hour.

If they have a choice of two actions and don't know which to choose, I'd ask questions and let them work out the best-for-them course for themselves, i.e. act as a sounding board.

If they are asking for advice when they have already made their decision and want to be argued out of it - I'll decline to play.

 

[butters]

depends on who's asking and their reasons for doing so

 

[tactful]

When people ask for your advice do you give it or politely change the subject?

Generally, if I can help them, I will, if I can't, I'll try and point them in the right direction, unless their from New Jersey.

 

[eyer]

Fvck 'em all...

 

[slave_]

 

[Recidiva]

I don't think that some people necessarily wish to learn, they wish to be right.

However, if someone asks for advice I'll give the best I can give and then let it go. Whether or not they listen to me now, it might be in their head for later use.

In general though, I don't give advice unless it's asked because that's intrusive and presumptuous. If someone isn't ready to hear it, it can prejudice the hearer against the advice and make them resistant over time to the idea. That's why nagging isn't a good idea. Let people come to their own conclusions or ask freely.

 

[HoHoBomb]

I don't think that some people necessarily wish to learn, they wish to be right.

However, if someone asks for advice I'll give the best I can give and then let it go. Whether or not they listen to me now, it might be in their head for later use.

In general though, I don't give advice unless it's asked because that's intrusive and presumptuous. If someone isn't ready to hear it, it can prejudice the hearer against the advice and make them resistant over time to the idea. That's why nagging isn't a good idea. Let people come to their own conclusions or ask freely.

some people pretend to seek advice as a way to get attention

 

[Laurel]

This.

 

[pete]

brilliant!

 

[pointless]

depends on who's asking and their reasons for doing so

yep.

and no one ever listens, you juvenile cunts. not really or not often anyway. everyone just wants you to confirm they're opinion/desire/whatever and if you do awesome. if you don't well fuck you. you don't know what you're fucking talking about anyway.

 

[Debbie]

Or they ask your advice, don't take it but it's still your fault if everything turns to custard.