FAWC You, Two!

[sr71plt]

The spaces between pips in ellipses and the lack of same on either side of em dashes are rules I knowingly violate. I don't even know why I resist conforming to standards on those.

I even turned off the autocorrect features that would fix them when I type them the way I always do.

Just stubborn, I guess. The meaning is still clear and only the tiniest percentage of people on Lit will know the difference anyway

Sure, it makes no difference on Literotica--other than why not just learn the universal "works" and have good habits? You make a habit of it anyway. Why not to standard? The stubborness in something like this speaks to an "it's all about me" attitude.

But in a publisher's production system, not using publishing ellipsis could grind the production machinery to a halt and necessitate a search, fix, and turning the machinery back on.

 

[damppanties]

Absolute Pitch- this was not the story I was going to write for this basket. I had a story about 2000 words in when I got told I was going out of town in a few days and they wanted me to work about 80 miles away up till then. No time so I took the story I was writing and put it into the works in progress file and started this one. With the music part I basically have to thank Scurries for a picture he posted on one of the contest pages, a lady tied to a piano top. That got me to thinking about pianos as a vibrating sex toy. Where I pulled Lucy and Schroeder from... hell if I know, it just popped into mind.

...

Comments on my two are welcome be they good or bad. Here for the writing practice and the floor show.

MST

I meant to comment on this one before!

I really liked this one too, for the story itself and for the reason that it seemed to work as bookends in combination with mine. In this, the guy is too absorbed in his music to do anything else, and in mine the girl knows that her music cannot be everything to her. They also appear in the perfect positions too work as bookends - second from the top and second from the bottom in the list on the submissions page!

And let me say, I was really miffed that I didn't id this as MSTarot's. I felt like I should know his writing by now... and even bragged as much to someone in a PM.

Anyhow, the actual story: Music/rhyme was definitely the central ingredient and it was done so well, making it so integral to the plot that the story couldn't have been written without it. Arrogant and energetic were also present in a good way, though I must admit I was a little stumped by the game/toy. Was the piano meant to be the game or toy?

Interesting that MST commented that this one was the throwaway one. I liked this one better than his other one. I liked the unrequited love angle and that it was done without making the girl appear to be a sop kneeling at his feet and mooning at him like some desperate thing. And the end was absolutely masterful. I liked that it remained true to the story as well as providing something for people who want happy ever afters.

 

[sr71plt]

Aren't I right that "Absolute Pitch" is just a "grown up" take on Charles Schulz's Lucy and Schroeder in Peanuts? I haven't seen anyone other than me (in the story comments) analyze it as such. And it refers to Schulz right there in the first sentence. I liked it other than some technical issues. Gave it a 4.

 

[Darkniciad]

Sure, it makes no difference on Literotica--other than why not just learn the universal "works" and have good habits? You make a habit of it anyway. Why not to standard? The stubborness in something like this speaks to an "it's all about me" attitude.

But in a publisher's production system, not using publishing ellipsis could grind the production machinery to a halt and necessitate a search, fix, and turning the machinery back on.

It is all about me I'm not afraid to admit that. Anything I do to increase the readability or enjoyment of reading in my stories is for the sole purpose of getting more feedback. Everything has an ulterior motive that's all about me.

Nobody's complained about those two things, all of the sites where I post accept them as-is, and so I've had no prompt to change.

No worries about gumming up the publishing machinery, because I seriously doubt that's ever going to happen. Any time I think about it, it starts to feel like work, and that shuts my machinery down.

It's the same reason I could never program for a living, and why my energy waned once the IbProBattle mod shot to such high popularity back in the day. The constant feature requests ( some bordering on harassment ) and such for the mod started feeling like work, rather than something I was doing primarily for enjoyment, challenge, and the minor "celebrity" of being one of the people behind it.

 

[MSTarot]

They also appear in the perfect positions too work as bookends -

And let me say, I was really miffed that I didn't id this as MSTarot's. I felt like I should know his writing by now... and even bragged as much to someone in a PM.

Was the piano meant to be the game or toy?

Interesting that MST commented that this one was the throwaway one.

I noticed a similarity in story as well... Bookends? Good way of putting it.



Sometimes I look back and go I wrote that? There are times I don't know my own writing.


Yes, the piano was the toy. An idea play on the toy piano that Schroeder used to play such impossible music on. Also in the whole vibrating sex toy way.


I didn't think of it as a throwaway. It was still a good story just rushed and not the story I was intending to write.

 

[MSTarot]

Aren't I right that "Absolute Pitch" is just a "grown up" take on Charles Schulz's Lucy and Schroeder in Peanuts? I haven't seen anyone other than me (in the story comments) analyze it as such. And it refers to Schulz right there in the first sentence. I liked it other than some technical issues. Gave it a 4.

Yes it was. It was the Toy part linked with Music that brought it to mind when I was trying to figure out what to write.

 

[slyc_willie]

Three dots with a space between the dots. Like this . . . not like this ...

I don't remember where that is in the CMS and I don't have mine next to me right now.

Then you could have pegged mine for his and vice-versa. I always place spaces between ellipses.

 

[sr71plt]

Then you could have pegged mine for his and vice-versa. I always place spaces between ellipses.

She probably also noticed mine had barely made it onto the second Lit. page.

 

[_Lynn_]

She probably also noticed mine had barely made it onto the second Lit. page.

So, I compared lengths.

 

[sr71plt]

So, I compared lengths.

Oh, that's what you were doing? Sorry, I got a different impression . . . and got carried away. (there's one of those ellipsis thingees.)

 

[_Lynn_]

Oh, that's what you were doing? Sorry, I got a different impression . . . and got carried away. (there's one of those ellipsis thingees.)

Ooo, a thingee.

 

[Tx Tall Tales]

Sure, it makes no difference on Literotica--other than why not just learn the universal "works" and have good habits? You make a habit of it anyway. Why not to standard? The stubborness in something like this speaks to an "it's all about me" attitude.

But in a publisher's production system, not using publishing ellipsis could grind the production machinery to a halt and necessitate a search, fix, and turning the machinery back on.

Knowing the correct way, I've started using a bastardized version of my own for readability.

Online, automatic publishing will break up correct ellipses at the end of lines. Very ugly and confusing. I now place three periods immediately after the word and the add a space before the next. It works better, and gets the message across.

In this case "it's all about the reader," and working with the publishers production system.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Congratulations MistressLynn!



I'm slowly catching up with the comments on the thread before posting - I have a bunch of notes on the stories. I just have to pop out now to get croissants for breakfast, shaking a kitten off my pyjama leg as I go. (Get off, you!)

Enjoying reading people's thoughts and looking forward to posting my mean nasty comments on all your hard work, guys.

 

[patientlee]

Congratulations MistressLynn!



I'm slowly catching up with the comments on the thread before posting - I have a bunch of notes on the stories. I just have to pop out now to get croissants for breakfast, shaking a kitten off my pyjama leg as I go. (Get off, you!)

Enjoying reading people's thoughts and looking forward to posting my mean nasty comments on all your hard work, guys.

Go easy on me. I know how flawed mine is. ;-)

On second thought, I'm not as delicate as I look. I can take it.

Enjoy your croissants. I'm finally going to bed at 3:30 in the morning, begging my kitty to snuggle in.

 

[sr71plt]

Congratulations MistressLynn!



I'm slowly catching up with the comments on the thread before posting - I have a bunch of notes on the stories. I just have to pop out now to get croissants for breakfast, shaking a kitten off my pyjama leg as I go. (Get off, you!)

Enjoying reading people's thoughts and looking forward to posting my mean nasty comments on all your hard work, guys.

Where did you have to pop out to to get those croissants? France?

 

[FAWCker]

I am going to PM Laurel tonight and give her the list of story names and the authors to whom those stories will be reassigned. I don't know how long that will take; it was done just a couple of days after the first FAWC, but let's not take that for granted.

Once they are in your story list, you can do whatever you want with them.

Once again, congratulations MistressLynn!

 

[_Lynn_]

Congratulations MistressLynn!



I'm slowly catching up with the comments on the thread before posting - I have a bunch of notes on the stories. I just have to pop out now to get croissants for breakfast, shaking a kitten off my pyjama leg as I go. (Get off, you!)

Enjoying reading people's thoughts and looking forward to posting my mean nasty comments on all your hard work, guys.

Thank you.

I am going to PM Laurel tonight and give her the list of story names and the authors to whom those stories will be reassigned. I don't know how long that will take; it was done just a couple of days after the first FAWC, but let's not take that for granted.

Once they are in your story list, you can do whatever you want with them.

Once again, congratulations MistressLynn!

I had fun with the challenge. Thank you.

 

[sheablue]

Hi all! I'm not going to go on and on, because I didn't finish my story, so none of you got to read it. (anna read what I have so far and gave me some feed back.)

The basket ingredients I got were Envy, Affectation, Vehicle and Sport.

I had the very basis of an idea before the contest started. For novel, really, for this year's NaNo. But I thought it would be a good research project and exercise to write a story for FAWC using the same idea, and then I would have a good start for NaNo.

Having these basket ingredients actually helped flesh out the story. I needed two rival "groups" (angels and demons, actually) with more than one reason to hate each other and compete with each other. I needed vehicle, so they became motorcycle builders/racers. I needed a sport, so they were to compete in the Dakar motorcycle rally, one of the most dangerous races in the world. I needed a conflict in the story, a reason the main character, Ruby, leaves the demons (who are the good guys) and joins the angels (who are the bad guys). Envy takes a role with that, a demon girl jealous of Ruby's relationship with the Demon gang leader betrays her to the angels.

It was affectation that was giving me a bitch of a headache. I didn't really think I understood it except as something negative, like someone who pretends to have a british accent. I decided the leader of the angels would pretend to be a patron of the arts, even though he didn't care. Because the angels were rich and beautiful and arrogant, and could buy their way out of problems, and they persuaded with a false sense of joy and well being. But he was empty and had no soul so he has to pretend to have love for beauty even though he does not.

Anyway, when I realized that I wan't going to finish the story, and that it really wanted to be a novel after all, I was relieved because I thought I could abandon the constraints of the basket elements. But then I realized that they were working pretty well. They helped me with plot elements that may have taken a lot longer to resolve. They helped me add dimension to my characters.

Giving myself challenges like this might be a good way to get stories started that are having trouble starting. It was an interesting way to make sure I have more of a well-rounded story than I might have otherwise.

Maybe that's why his round of stories were so good? (I'm sorry I did not get a chance to read them. I've been ill and still am. But I trust you all who said they were really quite exemplary.)

Those are my thoughts. I'm looking forward to November so I can get back to Ruby and the angels and the demons and that dangerous motorcycle race!

 

[patientlee]

Hi all! I'm not going to go on and on, because I didn't finish my story, so none of you got to read it. (anna read what I have so far and gave me some feed back.)

The basket ingredients I got were Envy, Affectation, Vehicle and Sport.

I had the very basis of an idea before the contest started. For novel, really, for this year's NaNo. But I thought it would be a good research project and exercise to write a story for FAWC using the same idea, and then I would have a good start for NaNo.

Having these basket ingredients actually helped flesh out the story. I needed two rival "groups" (angels and demons, actually) with more than one reason to hate each other and compete with each other. I needed vehicle, so they became motorcycle builders/racers. I needed a sport, so they were to compete in the Dakar motorcycle rally, one of the most dangerous races in the world. I needed a conflict in the story, a reason the main character, Ruby, leaves the demons (who are the good guys) and joins the angels (who are the bad guys). Envy takes a role with that, a demon girl jealous of Ruby's relationship with the Demon gang leader betrays her to the angels.

It was affectation that was giving me a bitch of a headache. I didn't really think I understood it except as something negative, like someone who pretends to have a british accent. I decided the leader of the angels would pretend to be a patron of the arts, even though he didn't care. Because the angels were rich and beautiful and arrogant, and could buy their way out of problems, and they persuaded with a false sense of joy and well being. But he was empty and had no soul so he has to pretend to have love for beauty even though he does not.

Anyway, when I realized that I wan't going to finish the story, and that it really wanted to be a novel after all, I was relieved because I thought I could abandon the constraints of the basket elements. But then I realized that they were working pretty well. They helped me with plot elements that may have taken a lot longer to resolve. They helped me add dimension to my characters.

Giving myself challenges like this might be a good way to get stories started that are having trouble starting. It was an interesting way to make sure I have more of a well-rounded story than I might have otherwise.

Maybe that's why his round of stories were so good? (I'm sorry I did not get a chance to read them. I've been ill and still am. But I trust you all who said they were really quite exemplary.)

Those are my thoughts. I'm looking forward to November so I can get back to Ruby and the angels and the demons and that dangerous motorcycle race!

Affectation, vehicle and sport were in my story (Be Awesome) and The Golden Ring. Common combo.

 

[slyc_willie]

You know, Shea, in a way I think you may have gotten the most out of this challenge. Because you took it for what it was, a challenge to your abilities as a writer. That's really what FAWC is about, after all. Sure, this is something of a competition, but that's not the main focus. The focus is on making each of us look at story writing in a different way.

Even though your story wasn't part of the FAWC, I'm glad you are continuing it. Make sure to let us know when it's finished and posted.

 

[sr71plt]

What springs to mind for affection in sheablue's scenario would be for some bruiser of a sonofabitch in the Angels gang having a pet monkey he was continually being affectionate and gentle with (no, not sexually)while fending off any human's attempts to be his friend or brutalizing/dehumanizing his sex partners, as a sex angle for the story.

(I have a horror story that uses the Dakar rally as its background. An interesting choice. I like the risks you indicate you were taking.)

 

[slyc_willie]

Affectation, vehicle and sport were in my story (Be Awesome) and The Golden Ring. Common combo.

I was surprised to see that, out of a total of twenty-five baskets, a few ended up sharing as many as three ingredients. There were even two stories that originally had the exact same basket, before I made an executive decision to re-roll the basket. Out of a total of 1,296 possible combinations, that two of them would end up exactly the same was pretty interesting.

 

[sr71plt]

What two different authors did with exactly the same ingredients would have been an interesting discussion.

 

[slyc_willie]

What two different authors did with exactly the same ingredients would have been an interesting discussion.

It could have, and I considered that, but decided that uniqueness trumped an additional challenge to the exercise. I figured at least a few people would catch on that two of the stories had the very same basket and would end up unnecessarily comparing them.

 

[patientlee]

I was surprised to see that, out of a total of twenty-five baskets, a few ended up sharing as many as three ingredients. There were even two stories that originally had the exact same basket, before I made an executive decision to re-roll the basket. Out of a total of 1,296 possible combinations, that two of them would end up exactly the same was pretty interesting.

I had to laugh when I saw vehicle and sport, two of the things I would be the least interested in. The only sport I like is hockey, and there was hockey in one of my Nude Day stories, and unlike my husband, father, brother, sons, I don't give a hoot about cars or trucks. I drive a crappy minivan, and I'm only interested in a new vehicle because the cigarette lighter doesn't work so I can't charge my phone or GPS.

Zamboni is a fun word though.