Ministering to the heathen...

[oggbashan]

Since 2004, jeanne_d_artois has been an ordained Minister of the Universal Life Church of Modesto, California - www.ulc.net

Since it might be slightly awkward for me, not as oggbashan, but as the real me, to produce my credentials as a Minister in the name of Jeanne D'Artois, I have now applied to be ordained in my real name.

So, at the moment, Jeanne extends her blessings to all you miserable sinners.

"Repent!" (she says) "Repent and be healed!" (Jeanne again) "May you all members of the Authors' Hangout go forth and spread the gospel of Literotica and bring confusion to all grammar pedants, split infinitive spotters and typo hounds. Bring joy, happiness and erotic pleasure to all those, always provided they are over 18 years of age, by posting to this blessed site."

"Go forth and multiply (stories of course!) diligently!" (Last words from Jeanne.)

The ULC provides a range of suitable titles that its ordained ministers can use. As me, once ordained, I think I'll be a Canon, a loose one of course. Jeanne even though she has far more seniority than me in the ULC, hasn't decided between being an Archbishop or a Grand Mufti.

What would you want your title as a minister to be? The ULC provides a list of helpful suggestions and identity documentation.

 

[jeanne_d_artois]

"Grand Mufti"? "Archbishop?"

Og has been putting words into my mouth again.

"Grand Mufti" isn't one of the ULC's choices. I'm satisfied with the title I already have. It is comprehensive and suitable.

The Reverend Jeanne D'Artois D.D

Oops! I forgot to say what my title is.

Goddess, of course.

 

[Handley_Page]

Erm. . . Ogg, did you notice this:-

"Applying for ordination in the name of a fictitious person or animal, or the submission of a person's name without his or her permission is fraud."

But I like the idea. I'm sure my personal God would not object.

 

[oggbashan]

Erm. . . Ogg, did you notice this:-

"Applying for ordination in the name of a fictitious person or animal, or the submission of a person's name without his or her permission is fraud."

But I like the idea. I'm sure my personal God would not object.

Jeanne would vehemently reject the idea that she is fictitious. And she applied by herself, using her own email and then address, which wasn't my residence. She ought to update her details.

The fraud would only apply if you wanted to practise as a minister, performing marriages etc. That is possible in some US states. It would be more difficult in the UK to get official recognition to perform marriage ceremonies as a ULC minister.

I have just applied for ordination in my RL identity, not as oggbashan.

Once ordained, I can argue from a better position with a local self-appointed Imam. My status as a minister of the ULC would actually be more 'official' than his. The local Muslim community disown him as an Imam. He is harmless but stupid. They regard him as the tolerated village idiot of their community.

 

[Saxon_Hart]

Jeanne would vehemently reject the idea that she is fictitious. And she applied by herself, using her own email and then address, which wasn't my residence. She ought to update her details.

The fraud would only apply if you wanted to practise as a minister, performing marriages etc. That is possible in some US states. It would be more difficult in the UK to get official recognition to perform marriage ceremonies as a ULC minister.

Might not be a bad idea for tax purposes. Just sayin...

 

[oggbashan]

Might not be a bad idea for tax purposes. Just sayin...

There are no tax benefits in the UK, unless your 'church' is registered as a charity. The rules on 'charities' in the UK have been more strictly enforced in recent years.

I can't see any circumstance which would allow a ULC minister to gain a tax advantage in the UK.

 

[Saxon_Hart]

There are no tax benefits in the UK, unless your 'church' is registered as a charity. The rules on 'charities' in the UK have been more strictly enforced in recent years.

I can't see any circumstance which would allow a ULC minister to gain a tax advantage in the UK.

Probably not here either. Most likely a thousand firey hoops to jump through to be tax exempt.

 

[litfan10]

Isn't there an actual organized following of the Force (ala Star Wars) over in England? Can't get more fictitious than that!

 

[glynndah]

Heathen? Am I the only heathen on Lit?

 

[litfan10]

Heathen? Am I the only heathen on Lit?

for the good little heathen!

 

[R. Richard]

Is Grand Poobah an option?

 

[glynndah]

Wow! All those clergy! I hope I have enough sins to confess.

 

[Handley_Page]

Isn't there an actual organized following of the Force (ala Star Wars) over in England? Can't get more fictitious than that!

A number of citizenry put "Jedi" s their religion, after New Zealand revealed that it might be thought a 'real' religion prior to an Election.
I'm not sure about the Force, though.

 

[slyc_willie]

What would you want your title as a minister to be? The ULC provides a list of helpful suggestions and identity documentation.

I've always liked "deacon." It has that sort of near-future-dystopian-militant sound to it, like the Clerics in Equilibrium.

Deacon Gabriel Daemon. Got a nice ring to it.

 

[slyc_willie]

A number of citizenry put "Jedi" s their religion, after New Zealand revealed that it might be thought a 'real' religion prior to an Election.
I'm not sure about the Force, though.

Did you say JEDI?

 

[Saxon_Hart]

I'll just stay a heathen. It's a lot less paperwork.

 

[Handley_Page]

Did you say JEDI?

Oh, Yes, Willie. JEDI. As I recall, if a significant number of the electorate put Jedi on the census form, it is a de facto religion.
Quite how this would be interpreted in the Arab world is unclear, but I suspect a loss of the head may come into it somewhere.

I'll just stay a heathen. It's a lot less paperwork.

Trust me. You're only storing up trouble for later. The paperwork is even worse.

 

[oggbashan]

Isn't there an actual organized following of the Force (ala Star Wars) over in England? Can't get more fictitious than that!

In the latest census (2011) the answers under religion included Jedi, and adherents of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. This was the first census on which you could write in 'other religion', but the numbers, although in the thousands, were statistically small.

In elections we have The Official Monster Raving Loony Party (and other oddballs).

 

[Bramblethorn]

A number of citizenry put "Jedi" s their religion, after New Zealand revealed that it might be thought a 'real' religion prior to an Election.

People in Australia, NZ, and the UK got the idea into their head that if enough respondents answered "Jedi" it'd get some sort of official recognition, but AFAIK there was never anything in it.

If getting listed in the census was enough to do it, every football team in Australia would be a religion

 

[oggbashan]

Oops!

I forgot that I had already been ordained as me:

This is to confirm that

[Details omitted]

of [Address Details omitted]

United Kingdom

has been ordained as a minister of the
Universal Life Church, Modesto, California.

Date of Ordination: August 18, 2005

So I have been ordained as me and as Jeanne for several years.

Perhaps I/we should start preaching and building a congregation?

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Might not be a bad idea for tax purposes. Just sayin...

No, you don't want to try this. I was ordained a minister in the same church back in the early 80's when the attraction of ordination was precisely to avoid taxes. The IRS quickly closed that loophole and laid down specifics for what you have to do to be considered a religion -- number of parishioners, number of services per month, donations, properties, etc.

I never used it for tax evasion since I was a student at the time. I just wanted to be a conduit to heaven.

And incidentally, there was nothing especially Christian about the ULC. As long as you sent them your $20, you were free to believe whatever you wanted.

 

[oggbashan]

...

And incidentally, there was nothing especially Christian about the ULC. As long as you sent them your $20, you were free to believe whatever you wanted.

And you still can. But basic ordination is free and on-line with a delay for human review of your eligibility.

Og (twice ordained - as Jeanne and as my real life self - but NOT as oggbashan)

 

[NaokoSmith]

Well, as a bad Buddhist I'm not very au fait with religious titles. I saw a nice title in the golf club in Über Stepford on a recent visit, though. Lady Vice Captain. I wouldn't mind being the Lady Vice Captain.

 

[oggbashan]

Well, as a bad Buddhist I'm not very au fait with religious titles. I saw a nice title in the golf club in Über Stepford on a recent visit, though. Lady Vice Captain. I wouldn't mind being the Lady Vice Captain.

I am still Vice-President of our local Chamber of Commerce.

I even have a chain of office.

 

[NaokoSmith]

I am still Vice-President of our local Chamber of Commerce.

I even have a chain of office.

Surely, Ogg, you are a Rear Vice Admiral?

Don't wave the chain about too freely - TxRad is murmuring about handcuffs in the newbie's thread.