Wanting a woman 18-74, perfect 10 body, rich and willing to leave all her shit to me
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Jett_73
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Ernie paid for her facelift as a 70th birthday present. You should have seen her before! A look from Aunt Agnes was known to curdle milk.
IhateClowns
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Hey there you lovely young man.
I can't see your picture too clearly because I accidently left my contact lenses in the same glass as my false teeth.
I hurt my eyes when I tried to put my molars in by mistake.
But, fuzzy though you are, you remind me of my grandson.
His grandpappy passed away last Tuesday and I'm looking for a healthy young stud to warm my bed in the twilight of my life. Poor old Ernie was not in the best of health in his later years. An octogenarian still has needs you know!
Oh, poot.
You said no older than 74. Well, I'm a hot bit of wrinkle for my age, so if ya change your mind, sweetling, you know where to find me.
Agnes
http://mimg.ugo.com/201011/65188/cuts/throw-momma-from-the-train_786_poster.jpg
That picture was taken right after I asked her if she wanted to get fucked anally. She said no so I kicked her to the curb. I mean listen, if you are not willing to take it in the pooper then you shouldn't be answering Lit personal ads.
IhateClowns
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Agnes is a hoot isn't she.
IhateClowns
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Hmmmm I love riddles.
Jett_73
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Bit harsh, IFC. Remember she's also got a hearing aid so she probably heard 'fucked annually'. Pretty sure that dirty old Aunt Agnes would happily take it at least daily if she could.
IhateClowns
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Bit harsh, IFC. Remember she's also got a hearing aid so she probably heard 'fucked annually'. Pretty sure that dirty old Aunt Agnes would happily take it at least daily if she could.
Ahhhh well damn. Fucked annually huh? I bet she is very tight. I am imagining those varicose veined legs wrapped around my waist as I thrust deep inside her tight hatchet wound. Does she like dirty talk? I bet she does. What a dirty whore.
sunshinegirl05
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That was just................disturbing. LOL
IhateClowns
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Not into anal huh?
lovetopleasewomen
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not annually....
sunshinegirl05
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Chaingun
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I never said that....but it wasn't a mental image I needed.
I threw up in my mouth just a little bit.
Jett_73
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A word to the wise, IFC, just in case you're getting in a bit too, ah, deep. *erk*
Don't believe everything Aunt Agnes tells you. If she's piqued your interest with talk of the 'ranch' she'll leave you in her Will, I'm not sure that half an acre on a hillside with a 'vegetable' patch of unidentifiable produce and a score of oddball chickens actually qualifies.
Even 'farm' is a bit of a stretch. 'Shack on a bit of half-tamed wilderness' is probably more accurate.
You should also know that my cousin Judd died after failing to avoid a hug from her. They said it was an aneurism, but the family always had doubts. Aunty's body odor is pretty powerful ...
IhateClowns
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I threw up in my mouth just a little bit.
Bulimia is not something to joke about. Try ex-lax instead.
IhateClowns
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Agnes churns her own cottage cheese huh? There is nothing like going down on a ripe woman and coming up with a goatee full of cottage cheese. Fuck now I am craving lasagna for some reason.
IhateClowns
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I never said that....but it wasn't a mental image I needed.
You should clearly know better by now. I have been here a while
IhateClowns
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Ladies I know it is Mother's Day. If you are wanting a quickie at the gas station hit me up around 1045am. I can fill you up as I fill my car up. If you want your tank topped off come meet me.
IhateClowns
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I am glad everyone here posts naked. It makes it so much easier to meet up randomly and just bang. I just hammered an 18 year ok virgin with a daddy complex. Lit is awesome!!!
IhateClowns
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You ever been gummed by a forty-eight year old crack whore? If you don't stare directly into the bruises and concentrate on the gumming it is quite a hot experience. Make sure you meet in public though. Otherwise she will steal you blind and sell your shit on Craigslist. Got to love the women of lit.
sunshinegirl05
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I'm so sorry you've been reduced down to that.
On the other hand....it must have been nice not to feel sharp teeth while she was bobbing up and down.
IhateClowns
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She was comatose from the drug overdose so I just mouth raped her. Then left her a roll of quarters for a cab ride when she wakes up.
sunshinegirl05
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Oooh! gotcha!
IhateClowns
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Lol. Do ya now.
sunshinegirl05
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Yep. At least you left her something. Most guys would have just left.
IhateClowns
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I am a gentleman.
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