Favorite line from your stories

[PennLady]

So I thought I'd try to lighten things up a little. I was re-reading a story (Rhythnm & the Blue Line) and came across a line I had fun writing. Ryan, the main character, is talking with her best friend, Lara. Ryan's been upset over a few things, including a possible break up with her boyfriend, and Lara takes her to task:

"Please, I'm your best friend." Lara scoffed, then sat down. "I'm serious. You've been in a pissy mood ever since he met your parents and if I hear one more angry metal song, I'm going to turn your iPod off with a hammer. You haven't mentioned him at all for the past few days. So tell me what it is. Did you break up?"

I always like the line about turning the iPod off with a hammer.

So what lines were you pleased to come up with?

 

[Euphony]

So I thought I'd try to lighten things up a little. I was re-reading a story (Rhythnm & the Blue Line) and came across a line I had fun writing. Ryan, the main character, is talking with her best friend, Lara. Ryan's been upset over a few things, including a possible break up with her boyfriend, and Lara takes her to task:



I always like the line about turning the iPod off with a hammer.

So what lines were you pleased to come up with?

I liked it and it fit very well.
My issue with "lines" is I think I fall too much in love with them to the detriment of flow. Some of the best things ever to come out of my head I worry work only in their own vacuum or stand out as me trying to make a moment. (you know what Im talking about. Like some of the really corny forced stuff in romantic comedies these days) Ive never seen you guilty of that.

 

[HarryHill]

OOh! I'll play; let me run and find one....brb
..
Here's one from 'Chosen Mate' chapter 1 (the bar)
..
“You are always polite and quiet except when telling your stories. You’re good looking in a kind of old man way and you smell okay.” She looked at him with her appraising eyes.
“Thank God." The words escaped from his mouth, unbidden, before he could stop them. Her eyes filled with mirth.

 

[TxRad]

What's even more fun is to come up with a line and then have to write a story so you can use it.

I've done that twice.

 

[bashfullyshameless]

Eric is from 21st Century Seattle. He is stuck in a sword-and-sorcery world, and after much misadventure is now getting intimate with Fallon the Sexy Barbarian:

"You have that look," she accused playfully.

"What look?"

"You wish to say something you know will be stupid."

He laughed. "How do you..." Eric shook his head, reaching out his hands to slip them up her sides and then touch her breasts. Fallon smiled approvingly, enjoying his touch, but waited for his silly question. "You don't need to wear anything to support these?"

Fallon blinked. "Support?"

"Yeah, I mean..." She was certainly well-endowed. Eric had figured she wore some sort of primitive bra. Now he stared in wonder. "Shouldn't these sag without support?"

"Do all women in your country have weak breasts?" Fallon asked.

 

[bashfullyshameless]

Ugh. Sorry. My passage above is from "Days of High Adventure."

http://www.literotica.com/s/days-of-high-adventure

 

[Stella_Omega]

Here's one of mine, Gloria's quip at the end;

Jess felt herself fly onto the bed, and grunt-yelped when Gloria threw herself on top of her, pushing her face down into the bedclothes. Gloria wrapped her arms around Jess’s middle and forced her ignominiously forward to kneel facing the brass headboard. “Grab it” she ordered, and cuffed the redhead’s wrists to the big central baluster.

“Oh no, oh no, oh god…” Jess breathed.

“Don’t hurt my bed, little girl,” Gloria said, watching her struggle.

“I’ll break it down, if I can,” she said between her teeth.

“And I’ll beat on you,” Gloria said, pleasantly, “With every piece, so just stop it…

 

[3113]

This is from "Pretty as a Picture"--readers seem to love this exchange between Simon, the model/photographer who is absolutely sure that all he's got going for him is a pretty face; he has seduced Arianne, a BBW, and is now 'fessing up to the fact that he thinks he "tricked" her into giving him something for nothing:

“My face,” he snorted. “A good model can give his photographer any expression needed, and I was a damn good model. Tell me what you want to see on my pretty face and you‟ll have it. Take a picture if you like, but don‟t think it has anything on real faces out there, less good-looking but with character and soul. Do you understand what I‟m saying? I‟m just a pretty picture. You‟re real. Three dimensional. Truly beautiful. And I knew by lunchtime that I didn‟t deserve you and couldn‟t earn you—but I wanted you so badly. So I gave you my best profile and tricked you into thinking I was worth it.”
“Is that what you think happened?” she demanded, arms still folded.
“Um, well, yes. And you can throw me out now.”
“Simon,” she sighed with exasperation, “you are such an ass! Did it ever occur to you, ever, that I might have fucked you not for your looks, but for your talent?”

 

[PennLady]

Eric is from 21st Century Seattle. He is stuck in a sword-and-sorcery world, and after much misadventure is now getting intimate with Fallon the Sexy Barbarian:

<snip>

"Do all women in your country have weak breasts?" Fallon asked.

LOL Excellent.

 

[sr71plt]

What's even more fun is to come up with a line and then have to write a story so you can use it.

I've done that twice.

I've done that on occasion too.

No particularly memorable lines come to mind, but thanks PennLady for the reminder that this is an erotica writing forum.

 

[glynndah]

This is from my story, Shopping for Sex Toys at Walmart.

Still have the same sized bed? Because we're going to buy you some new sheets. They are not perfectly fine. Your mother got them at an outlet store for you when you were ten. They're not cool and retro. They're misprints. They say STAR TERK for heaven's sake. They don't say you're a guy with a sense of humor. They say you're a pathetic loser who just moved from his mom's basement.

 

[RodenAddison]

The story is a about a woman who is six foot four and dresses up to bring back old memories or being bold. The fellow she crosses paths with has been dealing with a mental illness and is trying to get past it when he runs across her.

---

He'd never heard of the Evil Sock Fairy before, but she seemed to make sense. Damn, he thought to himself, how could that possibly make sense? He felt like he was losing his grip on reality again. The doctor had told him if he had an episode to try and go along with it and stay calm. Jesman had said that would make it easier to recover from the event and to call him the next day to see him. The episodes came one at a time and rarely closer together than a few days so he decided, since she didn't seem to have nasty teeth, to go along with it. He'd been told if he felt he could control the episode to control it in his favour.

"You're awfully tall to be a fairy aren't you?"

She scowled at him. The sarcasm bit. "Equal opportunity—Government regulation," she said.

---

The link is below.

 

[TinyBeth]

I think I have to go with this from my very first story. I might have written it a little differently now, but I stand by it. From "His Annual Visit." Tasha is watching her old friend Rick put the moves on another woman.

Tasha laughed to herself as it was obvious that the other woman couldn't quite handle Rick's bizarre combination of bravado and vulnerability. One minute he was the greatest genius alive and everyone listening to him would believe it and resent the hell out of him for it forever and the next he needed to be reassured he was still attractive now that his wife had left him.

 

[Darkniciad]

Somebody sent me a link to this one, and I'm too tired to write at the moment, so what the hell -- I'll toss out a couple while I'm here.

LST3K Ep. 06: Witch Season

Dark: Beware the fun-sized Snickers bars of Lucifer!

Ghost of a Chance

Don't mind the ectosplooge, it vanishes in sunlight.

 

[Bramblethorn]

So what lines were you pleased to come up with?

I pulled open the drawer, fumbled around until I found something suitably cylindrical, and pushed the switch at the end.

Buzzzzzzzzz.

"Oh. Yeah. Um, that's not the torch."

*****

Or for readers from the former British Empire (and really stretching 'line' here):

I tried to push sexual thoughts out of my mind and go back to sleep. Count sheep. No, something stronger than that. Think of cricket matches, stretching out day after day, the steady drone of the commentary...

And here comes Tufnell running in to bowl. It's a nice smooth delivery, straight down the line... and Ponting blocks it. And he's not running. Thorpe throws it back to Tufnell. No score. And there's been no score the whole morning. Thirteen overs left before lunch. Tony, do you think Ponting can keep this up?

Well Richie, if anybody can he can. He scored two back on Friday but today he knows he has to stay put and not try to repeat that. This is magnificent cricket, a classic display of holding on to her breast and not doing anything with it. That's what the game is all about.

Couldn't agree more, Tony. This reminds me of something that almost happened back in 1932... oh, and here comes Tufnell again. No, he's stopped. He's polishing the ball. Look how snugly it fits in his hand. Lovely and warm... and you can see the strain on Ponting's face. You can tell he wants to score, but he knows that's not in the game plan. Must be hoping for rain to cool things off.

 

[Bramblethorn]

"Do all women in your country have weak breasts?" Fallon asked.

I loved this one

 

[oggbashan]

If I had a favourite line...

...I'd delete it.

I find it too easy to write sentences that are really meaningful to me and on a re-read sound overly contrived.

But some of my best lines are in my fifty-word stories because I've had to pare them to the bone.

If I had to choose, it would probably be the last line of this:

Correctness

Happy Christmas messages will not be allowed on public buildings this year. It isn't inclusive.

The private buildings have more Christmas signs than ever before.

The bright neon signs on the mosque and the synagogue are much appreciated, reminding us that goodwill is intended for all.

Inclusion is not exclusive.

 

[SevenSquared]

I have a few lines which I am quite proud of, but unfortunately they are only really funny in the context of the story, so they wouldn't really work written down here.

 

[lovecraft68]

So I thought I'd try to lighten things up a little. I was re-reading a story (Rhythnm & the Blue Line) and came across a line I had fun writing. Ryan, the main character, is talking with her best friend, Lara. Ryan's been upset over a few things, including a possible break up with her boyfriend, and Lara takes her to task:



I always like the line about turning the iPod off with a hammer.

So what lines were you pleased to come up with?

This can be a really fun thread, I'm seeing it a few minutes before I have to leave for work so I'll have to think on this during the day,

One quick one though, When I wrote it, it was really just meant as a crack on one character from another, but when I was first editing this, Shades was at its height and the line instantly reminded me of Christian Gray.

The scene is a woman is showing up for an initiation with a dom she has never met. The member of the group she has met was a smooth talking wealthy business man, she is assuming that is what this guy will be.

However, he's the opposite, a heavily tattooed bad boy type and not recognizing hims she insults him, then says he was not what she expected. his line is

He gave her the smirk again as he signaled the bartender. “And what did you expect? Warner?” He
snorted. “Some smooth talking fag in a suit?”

 

[soflabbwlvr]

This is fun. I had a hard time deciding, and in the end I narrowed it to two. The first is from "Her Hunger, Chapter 2." At this point, Lisette has met Glen at a frat party and accompanied him to his room. She's on her hands and knees giving him a blow job when she feels a tongue and a finger stimulating her from behind. The mysterious stranger licks her to an orgasm. When she turns around, she's shocked to find that it was another woman who joined the two of them.

Courtney was a small girl with short, black hair cut in a pixie style. She was very pretty, with an indefinable ethnic quality that hinted at an Asian background. Her porcelain skin was flawless. She was nicely shaped, with small breasts capped by pale tan nipples that stood out in the cool night air, though not so prominently as Lisette's pink cherries. She was shorter than Lisette, but probably weighed about the same. It was apparent that she was not as fit as Lisette-- Courtney was both softer and more curved than the taller, athletic blonde.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Lisette asked. "I'm not a lesbian."

"Neither am I," Courtney countered.

"Really? You act like one."

"You respond like one."

The second is from "The BBW Chronicles, Chapter 4." Veronica has already hooked her lover up with two of her friends, and is introducing him to a third. Keshia is an opinionated black woman with a strong personality, who does not take kindly to being an afterthought.

"Was I talking to you, Miss Know-it-all?" Keshia chided Veronica. Turning back to me, she asked, "I assume you must know why I am here, don't you?"

"Well, if you are a friend of Veronica, then I have a pretty good idea," I responded.

"Oh, I'm a real good friend of Veronica. At least I used to be. I don't know so much any more. The bitch has been holding out on me." Keshia glared at Veronica. "Haven't you, Vero?"

"That's not true and you know it, Keshia," Veronica snapped back. "You aren't sexually frustrated like some of my other friends."

"Vero told me about your little Sgt. Pecker's Homely Fat Cunt Band, or whatever kind of sex club the two of you are running for the nasty hoes over here in Hoeville," Keshia said, turning toward me. "I'm not interested in a membership, but my so-called 'friend' should keep me up to date and give me the option. You know what I'm saying? That's what friends do for each other, wouldn't you agree, Vero?"

I've got several more I could use, but I'm taking up too much space already.

 

[thelovingsadist]

What's even more fun is to come up with a line and then have to write a story so you can use it.

I've done that twice.

I'm planning to do this, but I haven't gotten to it yet. There's another story I want to finish first.

Though, I might as well share the line I'm going to base the story off of. Maybe it'll pressure me a bit to actually finish it.

“Internet love is like food love. You think you want that beautiful and delicious cake, until you eat the whole thing. Then you realize it doesn't quite agree with you.”

 

[alwayswantedto]

<deleted>

 

[loquere]

I do have a favorite line from a John Gresham novel. "The Litigators,"

There arguing a civil case, when the lead defense counsel has a heart attack. It's funny because the case was against the manufacturer of a supposed faulty drug, that causes heart attacks.

 

[PennLady]

Can't say this is my best, but I enjoyed writing it, from "The Relationship Business." Val, in charge of Valentine's Day, is dealing with one of his employees, Izzy. She's rather forward.

Val reminded himself that office relationships never worked out. Just look at me and Halley. Thinking of Halley had the odd effect of eliminating some of his fear of Izzy. However, she was a formidable presence and he decided to watch his step.

"No, you're not." Izzy's voice was a reprimand wrapped in a purr. "We all know how stressful things are this time of year. Doubly so for you, I'm sure, with so little previous experience."

I liked the bolded line.

 

[lovecraft68]

Can't say this is my best, but I enjoyed writing it, from "The Relationship Business." Val, in charge of Valentine's Day, is dealing with one of his employees, Izzy. She's rather forward.



I liked the bolded line.

When I read that all I could think of is my sister always saying some one is a moron wrapped up in an idiot, disguised as an asshole.

I used that in a chapter of SWB but for the life of me can no longer remember which one.

I actually spent some time thinking on this today in work and no one line comes to mind

I do have a scene from the Circle novel where a member of the Circle is scoping out the woman they think could be their next member and starts playing the game with her.

It turns into a test of wills with some pretty harsh insults thrown around by both sides. I think its one of the most fun scenes I've written.