Compared to "normal folk"

[amofiga]

What do you suppose the percentage is of the general population that holds the same sort of sexual interest and background of the people on Lit? I tend to think that the membership here represents a very small percentage of the general population and opinions, experiences, activities here are not representative of "normal folk". It just seems that most of the people I know don't seem to have the same sexual proclivities expressed here, but then again, I've long since learned that you can't judge a book by its cover and some of the people who seem like prudes are closet pervs and vice versa.

Do you think we represent about 20% of the general population or 80% or somewhere about the middle of the road? Do you think a lot of the people in the general population have had/want threesomes, gang bangs, are interested in BDSM, like to have cyber sex or dirty talking phone sex, want information on new and different ways to masturbate, own all sorts of sex toys, watch porn, read or write erotica, etc. Most of my neighbors seem to be of the right wing conservative bible thumper types.

I wonder what the demographics of the membership is here. Are there more college kids than retirees or mostly middle aged soccer moms or what?

Just wondering if anybody else has thought about it.

 

[Tomahawk26]

Being interested in sexuality from a theoretical/psychological/sociological standpoint as well as a practical one I have thought about this! I always wonder what's really kinky by the barometer of the rest of the world. . . a lot of people don't talk about the kind of stuff we talk about here. A number of my friends are like Lit members (particularly the ones on my roller derby team) in that they're up for talking about all kinds of "outside the norm" stuff--but I think I just tend to make friends with really open people! But I am always curious what other people are doing in their bedrooms.

 

[southern_gal]

I don't have an educated guess as to the percentages, but I have to believe that far more "normal" people than we think are walking around with fantasies and / or fetishes that have never been spoken of let alone acted upon. I base this on my own personal life experience and two of my very dear friends. To look at me, you might guess that I am a librarian or something and that is by design. I have spent a lifetime so far covering up what is really going on inside of me. I recently confessed to two very close friends that I have been reading erotic literature for years and to my surprise they had a few confessions of their own. So I am thinking that there are many of us that are still in our own closet of sorts and use Lit as an outlet while many others never really express what is in the background of their lives.

 

[cutiepiejes]

I don't have an educated guess as to the percentages, but I have to believe that far more "normal" people than we think are walking around with fantasies and / or fetishes that have never been spoken of let alone acted upon. I base this on my own personal life experience and two of my very dear friends. To look at me, you might guess that I am a librarian or something and that is by design. I have spent a lifetime so far covering up what is really going on inside of me. I recently confessed to two very close friends that I have been reading erotic literature for years and to my surprise they had a few confessions of their own. So I am thinking that there are many of us that are still in our own closet of sorts and use Lit as an outlet while many others never really express what is in the background of their lives.

I totally agree with you.

 

[help_me_Rhonda]

Being interested in sexuality from a theoretical/psychological/sociological standpoint as well as a practical one I have thought about this! I always wonder what's really kinky by the barometer of the rest of the world. . . a lot of people don't talk about the kind of stuff we talk about here. A number of my friends are like Lit members (particularly the ones on my roller derby team) in that they're up for talking about all kinds of "outside the norm" stuff--but I think I just tend to make friends with really open people! But I am always curious what other people are doing in their bedrooms.

I am too, but I might be disappointed, because I believe we are the minority. Hell, I would have been in the minority, before I joined Lit just two months ago- it was very vanilla.

I don't have an educated guess as to the percentages, but I have to believe that far more "normal" people than we think are walking around with fantasies and / or fetishes that have never been spoken of let alone acted upon. I base this on my own personal life experience and two of my very dear friends. To look at me, you might guess that I am a librarian or something and that is by design. I have spent a lifetime so far covering up what is really going on inside of me. I recently confessed to two very close friends that I have been reading erotic literature for years and to my surprise they had a few confessions of their own. So I am thinking that there are many of us that are still in our own closet of sorts and use Lit as an outlet while many others never really express what is in the background of their lives.

I honestly had never (consciously) considered most of the things before joining Lit that are now part of my life, thanks to this forum.

 

[Funky_Space]

I think a lot of people think like this, however, a lot of people are afraid to voice what they think or just haven't found Lit yet. Everyone has there own fantasies and desires, even within Lit you see varying levels of kinkiness from the tame to the extreme. So I guess everyone finds there own niche. A bit of a ramble but you get my point...(I hope).

 

[monkeyman057]

I think there is still a lot of shame associated with sex so there's still a lot of people that just don't talk about it. I believe most people with healthy libidos enjoy fantasy and eroticism. I just don't think most of those people are very open about it or talk about it much.

Sexuality of any flavor other than 'standard hetero' is still stigmatized very heavily. Not nearly so much as it was, say 50 years ago, but old habits die hard. Old social conventions die even harder.

 

[Tomahawk26]

I think a lot of people think like this, however, a lot of people are afraid to voice what they think or just haven't found Lit yet. Everyone has there own fantasies and desires, even within Lit you see varying levels of kinkiness from the tame to the extreme. So I guess everyone finds there own niche. A bit of a ramble but you get my point...(I hope).

I always find that whole idea so shocking--when I read posts on here about things people want to try, but are afraid to tell their partner. . . or things people have asked their partners to try, but they just won't do it. I can't even fathom being in a relationship like that. If I didn't feel I could tell my husband what I'm thinking about, what turns me on, what I'd like to try with him, I don't think it would be a very fulfilling sex life, or a very fulfilling life in general!

 

[monkeyman057]

I always find that whole idea so shocking--when I read posts on here about things people want to try, but are afraid to tell their partner. . . or things people have asked their partners to try, but they just won't do it. I can't even fathom being in a relationship like that. If I didn't feel I could tell my husband what I'm thinking about, what turns me on, what I'd like to try with him, I don't think it would be a very fulfilling sex life, or a very fulfilling life in general!

I agree. I've been in relationships where I didn't feel OK sharing my deepest and darkest and it SUCKS. To never be able to fully express yourself and just be who you are... bah. /gladthatsover

 

[Emerson40]

First of all, I don't care for the word "normal". It should never be used to describe anything besides a setting on my dishwasher. When it comes to people and how the behave, dress, talk, think, etc... who decides what is normal? And although there is some positives attached to being outside the "norm" (i.e. in business, music), for the most part I believe there are more negatives associated when you are not "normal" or conforming with society's "norms".

As far as folk here, from what I've read and seen throughout the boards, I think there is a small representation of society here, as opposed to a segment of populace outside of the norm. I think there are professionals, homemakers, entrepreneurs, bored husbands / wives, sexually dynamic couples, gay, straight, etc, etc. The same folks sitting around the coffee shop this morning, or in line at the grocery checkout are here.
I think Lit provides a place where people can interact with others about all sorts things, things that that the constraints of a "normal" society make difficult. There's anonymity available here, which makes things easier if you want to talk about putting toys in your bum, your disappointment in your spouse or kids, or your attraction for the opposite sex or curvy girls - things you can't readily discuss with the neighbor over the back fence as you may not want to endure the sideways glances, or risk exposure should the neighbor speak to others about you.
There's acceptance here, support form some, and a few ass-hats thrown into the mix to keep things interesting. I think of Lit more like a community, with some of the prejudices and constraints of "not normal" peeled away, than a village of misfits.