How to answer why is she a naughty girl

[londonaberdeen]

Hi,
My partner has previously said she wants to explore a little spanking and bondage.

The other night during sex I rolled her into doggie, quickly bound her hands behind her back. Spanked her ass before taking her.

During our after sex chatting, she asked why I had smacked her. I said it was because she had been a naughty girl.

She asked why was she naughty.

So rather than sharing the rubbish that came out, can I ask for help??

What am I supposed to say? What is it she is looking to hear?

 

[J D Danger]

Look her deep in her eyes and say...

do you think I really don't know?...then I would whisper in her ear...I know that you have very naughty thoughts about how when and where I am going to fuck you...

I know that those thoughts consume your days and I know that sometimes those very naughty thoughts make you so hot ad wet that you want to touch yourself in public ad day dream of m fucking you...

these are all naughty thoughts that I am pleased my naughty girl is having..but you are mine and I will punish or fuck mine when I want how I want..for as long as I want...



I would say something like that

now if she asks....why do you spank me?...the answer is simple...you are mine and I do what I want with what is mine...I need no other reason

 

[Stella_Omega]

You can tell her that you spanked her because you wanted to. And because you know she liked it. You don't need any other reasons, really-- do you?

 

[Redkate]

Other than what's been already said I also like hearing something along the lines of, "because sluts like you need a spanking." If she asks why, I like something like "to remind you that you're mine and your ass belongs to me."

Maybe not for everyone, cause not everyone likes to identify as a slut/whore.

 

[ecstaticsub]

You can tell her that you spanked her because you wanted to. And because you know she liked it. You don't need any other reasons, really-- do you?

Yep, this is all I need to hear.

As a matter of fact I don't want to hear that I was a naughty girl. Because usually I'm not. I am loyal, obedient even when it hurts, and honest when I do make mistakes.

I like to be spanked because I know he likes it. That's all that matters

 

[Stella_Omega]

Coming back to this...

What am I supposed to say? What is it she is looking to hear?

You're asking us to read your partner's mind for you.

My genuine suggestions is that you and she sit down, and -- you can come up with some kind of a sexy game to keep it going, but you and she both have to talk like big boys and girls.

What DOES she want to hear you say? What words does she never want to hear from you? Only she can tell you.

And in return, you can tell her what YOU want, what kinds of things you've fantasised about and what kind of reactions you hope to get.

 

[Tryharder62]

Look her deep in her eyes and say...

do you think I really don't know?...then I would whisper in her ear...I know that you have very naughty thoughts about how when and where I am going to fuck you...

I know that those thoughts consume your days and I know that sometimes those very naughty thoughts make you so hot ad wet that you want to touch yourself in public ad day dream of m fucking you...

these are all naughty thoughts that I am pleased my naughty girl is having..but you are mine and I will punish or fuck mine when I want how I want..for as long as I want...



I would say something like that

now if she asks....why do you spank me?...the answer is simple...you are mine and I do what I want with what is mine...I need no other reason

Did it just get very hot in here!

 

[CutieMouse]

Yep, this is all I need to hear.

As a matter of fact I don't want to hear that I was a naughty girl. Because usually I'm not. I am loyal, obedient even when it hurts, and honest when I do make mistakes.

I like to be spanked because I know he likes it. That's all that matters

Same here. The whole "you've been naughty" schtick tends to break my head wide open. Because (over-thinker that I am), I always end up confused... If X was what you wanted and it made you feel good, why does that make me "naughty"? Wouldn't it be more naughty of me to simply refuse to do X? In fact, if X is something you want repeated, wouldn't it make more sense to create a positive feedback loop around the concept of X (including reward spankings, if that's what one is into), instead of attaching a negative (naughty) connotation to the act?

Thank goodness The Men™ both just smile when I start explaining things like that...

 

[midwestyankee]

You can tell her that you spanked her because you wanted to. And because you know she liked it. You don't need any other reasons, really-- do you?

Yes, because if you need a game to make it work this week, you'll keep needing games ad infinitum. And eventually the games will become the focus instead of her ass and your interest in turning it red.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Listen to Stella, e-sub, Stella, Mouse, and Yank. They all gave you good, solid, intelligent and adult responses.

And yes, I know I said Stella twice. She posted twice, with two different, very good responses. When I grow up, I hope I'm as smart as she is.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

Hmn/ the absolute worst thing ever is all the talk especially where it consists of someone asking that sort of question. It would turn me off instantly.

Example: picture this - you are spanking J-Lo really REALLY hard. After rough sex and a cup of tea/coffee/tequila, she asks 'why do you want to spank my ass?' (???!)

I would be very suspicious of someone who initially claimed to want to try out a little spanking/bondage and then afterwards start to try and 'analyze' it especially in terms of what I was doing. No way!

I think it's a big mistake to go down this road, but then I don't really have the solution either to how to play with a really inexperienced person who wants to analyze stuff like this. Just because they put people in tight leather on tv drama programs these days a lot or dress models like that in fashion shoots doesn't mean EVERYONE is going to get the same thrill out of spanking/bondage as someone who is seriously kinked for real.

And I'm afraid that for me at least, I really disagree with pop sex manuals that say you can 'incorporate light spanking and bondage' into your sex life to spice it up... Well, put it this way, you can if you want to but it doesn't mean you are INTO SPANKING OR BONDAGE FOR REAL.

People who are really into it for real are a world away from the others who pretend like silly little kids playing in places they shouldn't ought to be. I think.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

I mean hey I know it's all relative and there are plenty of people who think they like 'a little spanking' as part of the whole thing - but this is a BDSM Talk section on Literotica and I just find this tendency to trivialize things in pop culture nowadays a little insulting because it tends to deny or steer away from the existence of authenticity. I'm not criticising the op - I understand the question because I have been there too.

I just don't think there is a real answer to it. Lot's of women who are just being juvenile ask this type of question all the time. It is really really really annoying to someone who is deeply into the lifestyle and happens to have sex with 'normal' people too! I mean of course it depends on the sort of 'tone of voice' the question is asked with; sometimes you can tell the person is just being gratuitous about a serious thing and is going to end up trying to leverage whatever honest answer you give for a sexual player's advantage.

Of course you could go into scientific psychological technical detail about 'why' but that is going to end up achieving what...? I dunno. Tough question. Don't actually envy the op here.

 

[Stella_Omega]

DMMW, I keep trying to write an answer to that first post of yours, and... haha I just can't wrap my head around how not to make insane amounts of fun at you. Maybe after another couple cups of coffee.

Tell you what when you come across those fetish pictures that touch on YOUR obsession a little bit, instead of getting all riled up, just chant this mantra;

My sex is my sex, their sex is their sex. It's not a competitive sport.

 

[knottywordz]

+1 Well said

 

[Netzach]

I think "why am I naughty" is a totally valid question from a "real" person. I think it's totally valid to wonder why someone's throwing a cliche at you during an intimate moment - if you want to play with "naughty" then back it up, see it through, have a reason, even a made up silly reason.

The reason T has my devotion and my sexually unfettered "whatever you want" access is because we're on the same page about being "slutty" or being "naughty" or being turned off by whatever value judgement you can slap onto that if you're going to play by "their" rules on the turf of YOUR bed. (ew)

That sex negative bullshit has no business being laid over MY desire, unless it's a very funny little joke. Whatever works for you, but I think thinking is so important, to quote Blackadder. You're being made to think, and that's awesome. Decide why she's naughty or maybe she's totally not.

 

[knot_sweet]

I would have gone with "Are you questioning me?"

Alternatively, don't tell her she's been naughty. Tell her you like spanking her because her ass looks so good with your hand prints on on it.

 

[nfrrdscnnr1]

perhaps?

Perhaps, "Because I want (need) you to be naughty."

 

[londonaberdeen]

Thanks to nearly all. Most of you have taken the question and replied with sensible advice or comments.
Next time I keep it simple - I wanted to, I did, because I can.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thanks to nearly all. Most of you have taken the question and replied with sensible advice or comments.
Next time I keep it simple - I wanted to, I did, because I can.

Don't wait for her to ask. If it's the same woman-- start a new conversation with her.

 

[remy_lebeau8]

Look her deep in her eyes and say...

do you think I really don't know?...then I would whisper in her ear...I know that you have very naughty thoughts about how when and where I am going to fuck you...

I know that those thoughts consume your days and I know that sometimes those very naughty thoughts make you so hot ad wet that you want to touch yourself in public ad day dream of m fucking you...

these are all naughty thoughts that I am pleased my naughty girl is having..but you are mine and I will punish or fuck mine when I want how I want..for as long as I want...



I would say something like that

now if she asks....why do you spank me?...the answer is simple...you are mine and I do what I want with what is mine...I need no other reason

After a night of sending her dirty texts from work, I'm so gonna use this

Thanks

 

[xssve]

Several answers spring to mind:

"Just cuz".

"You must have done something".

"Because you make me want to do bad things to you".

"That's what you get for being such a sexy, gorgeous bitch".

Ideally, I think, unless you actually have a specific reason, it should be something vague or something she has no control over, like being a sexy, gorgeous bitch.

I've had some women tell me the confusion is part of the thing - I mean in real life, punishment is often arbitrary, done for no other reason than the amusement of the sadist, and rationalized a million different ways.

 

[Stella_Omega]

If anyone ever told me I should be punished for something I have no control over, like being a gorgeous sexy bitch-- They would be looking for someone else to punish. And possibly looking for the first aid kit.

So although xssive's advice does work for some women, it's worthwhile to find out if she has triggers or boundaries that you don't want to cross.

 

[FurryFury]

I feel this way too. I don't like to be called naughty because I'm not. I work hard at being a good girl but I still love spankings!

Yep, this is all I need to hear.

As a matter of fact I don't want to hear that I was a naughty girl. Because usually I'm not. I am loyal, obedient even when it hurts, and honest when I do make mistakes.

I like to be spanked because I know he likes it. That's all that matters

 

[Netzach]

If anyone ever told me I should be punished for something I have no control over, like being a gorgeous sexy bitch-- They would be looking for someone else to punish. And possibly looking for the first aid kit.

So although xssive's advice does work for some women, it's worthwhile to find out if she has triggers or boundaries that you don't want to cross.

Agreed. However if someone wanted to spank me for it, literally "I spank you!"

versus punish me for it, whatever, if you're suave enough to pull that off without sounding like a dork, I salute you.

God, are the lines subtle with humans.