You could offer to do naughty things to keep her mouth busy but not saying any words. Okay, I guess we could have let that idea slide.
That is not a secret.
I did also very much enjoy the guessing game!
Guessed a few right too
Aye, I be brave and foolish
I must have been mistaken, I have no secrets here. Open book. Yup yup yup. Ok, your turn. Very wonderful secret....but I have the video
You did jump up fast and graceful.....but Billy did get an eye full
Actually his name was.Chris. And he wouldn't leave me alone after that day. 
I kinda sorta did that,
)
I feel a need to post this, in this thread, because the nick is anonymous enough & because during previous visits to Lit I have found that one can speak one's mind here without being judged & find support
My secret is that the last 6 years of my life/marriage have been a lie. I was not happy, felt imprisoned and manipulated & couldn't get out because I felt guilty for not being able to live up to the standards that were set for me.
I tried so hard to please everyone ( i.e. my partner ) but it never was good enough, things that went wrong always were my fault and I accepted that even when it was not true. He said so, so it had to be true. I even went to therapists so I could be "fixed" to his liking.
My world was limited to my family and work. I had no friends, no social life and therefor no frames of reference to compare my situation with. In hindsight : exactly the way he liked it. At times I tried to flee & get away in virtual environments but it got too hard keeping that a secret as well, and ofcourse I never found there what I was looking for.
I felt like I was wearing a mask, had to wear a mask because the real me wasn't acceptable. At the same time I didn't know who I really was but I knew the real me was there somewhere & not being able - and not being allowed - to surface.
And then, a few years ago, I lost everything. The secret of the heart had indeed continued to grow & fester & eat me up from the inside and it blew up in my face.
At present, I am living alone, divorced, and with the help of a therapist of my choosing finally finding out who I really am.
I now have freedom of mind, freedom to be who I want to be, I have two very dear & close friends, and the freedom to be so unbelievably fucking mad at my former partner for dominating and manipulating me for such a long time.
Pieces of the puzzle keep falling into place faster than ever and I am finally able to see him objectively. It's not a pretty sight at all.
I now know I am not a "bad person". There is nothing wrong with me, and I *am* strong. It's OK for me to be who I am & be true to myself first. So no more secrets and subsequent lies.
This is me, and if you don't like it, fuck off
( Thank you neruda for providing the opportunity to get this off my chest
)
I feel a need to post this, in this thread, because the nick is anonymous enough & because during previous visits to Lit I have found that one can speak one's mind here without being judged & find support
My secret is that the last 6 years of my life/marriage have been a lie. I was not happy, felt imprisoned and manipulated & couldn't get out because I felt guilty for not being able to live up to the standards that were set for me.
I tried so hard to please everyone ( i.e. my partner ) but it never was good enough, things that went wrong always were my fault and I accepted that even when it was not true. He said so, so it had to be true. I even went to therapists so I could be "fixed" to his liking.
My world was limited to my family and work. I had no friends, no social life and therefor no frames of reference to compare my situation with. In hindsight : exactly the way he liked it. At times I tried to flee & get away in virtual environments but it got too hard keeping that a secret as well, and ofcourse I never found there what I was looking for.
I felt like I was wearing a mask, had to wear a mask because the real me wasn't acceptable. At the same time I didn't know who I really was but I knew the real me was there somewhere & not being able - and not being allowed - to surface.
And then, a few years ago, I lost everything. The secret of the heart had indeed continued to grow & fester & eat me up from the inside and it blew up in my face.
At present, I am living alone, divorced, and with the help of a therapist of my choosing finally finding out who I really am.
I now have freedom of mind, freedom to be who I want to be, I have two very dear & close friends, and the freedom to be so unbelievably fucking mad at my former partner for dominating and manipulating me for such a long time.
Pieces of the puzzle keep falling into place faster than ever and I am finally able to see him objectively. It's not a pretty sight at all.
I now know I am not a "bad person". There is nothing wrong with me, and I *am* strong. It's OK for me to be who I am & be true to myself first. So no more secrets and subsequent lies.
This is me, and if you don't like it, fuck off
( Thank you neruda for providing the opportunity to get this off my chest
I feel a need to post this, in this thread, because the nick is anonymous enough & because during previous visits to Lit I have found that one can speak one's mind here without being judged & find support
My secret is that the last 6 years of my life/marriage have been a lie. I was not happy, felt imprisoned and manipulated & couldn't get out because I felt guilty for not being able to live up to the standards that were set for me.
I tried so hard to please everyone ( i.e. my partner ) but it never was good enough, things that went wrong always were my fault and I accepted that even when it was not true. He said so, so it had to be true. I even went to therapists so I could be "fixed" to his liking.
My world was limited to my family and work. I had no friends, no social life and therefor no frames of reference to compare my situation with. In hindsight : exactly the way he liked it. At times I tried to flee & get away in virtual environments but it got too hard keeping that a secret as well, and ofcourse I never found there what I was looking for.
I felt like I was wearing a mask, had to wear a mask because the real me wasn't acceptable. At the same time I didn't know who I really was but I knew the real me was there somewhere & not being able - and not being allowed - to surface.
And then, a few years ago, I lost everything. The secret of the heart had indeed continued to grow & fester & eat me up from the inside and it blew up in my face.
At present, I am living alone, divorced, and with the help of a therapist of my choosing finally finding out who I really am.
I now have freedom of mind, freedom to be who I want to be, I have two very dear & close friends, and the freedom to be so unbelievably fucking mad at my former partner for dominating and manipulating me for such a long time.
Pieces of the puzzle keep falling into place faster than ever and I am finally able to see him objectively. It's not a pretty sight at all.
I now know I am not a "bad person". There is nothing wrong with me, and I *am* strong. It's OK for me to be who I am & be true to myself first. So no more secrets and subsequent lies.
This is me, and if you don't like it, fuck off
( Thank you neruda for providing the opportunity to get this off my chest
