Anonymous Secrets Thread

[neruda]

good grief! how do you ever erase that kind of mental pic?

You don't. I've tried. Alcohol CERTAINLY doesn't work.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

NOT inless he is living in Antartica

I giggle over that. Pretty funny...and could have potentially been very very very awkward. Oops.

 

[Kudram123]

Eye bleach LOL

Is there such a thing?!

I need it I need it!



Not so anonymous confession:

I think there should be a maximum amount of time you can be buck naked at the gym locker rooms! nobody here wants to see your balls hanging out!

 

[neruda]

Is there such a thing?!

I need it I need it!



Not so anonymous confession:

I think there should be a maximum amount of time you can be buck naked at the gym locker rooms! nobody here wants to see your balls hanging out!

I think in mens rooms when there is more than one urinal available it should be against the law to use the one right next to the only other person using one. Or to use the middle one so that the next person is forced to stand next to you.

If there are 15 urinals and some guy stands right next to me, I am just going to assume I'm about to get rolled or raped and act accordingly.

 

[softhelmet]

Kudram123 turned me on to this thread...seems very fun and intelligent. i'm just returning to lit after a long sybbatical (from my Spelling studies, obviously)

 

[Kudram123]

I think in mens rooms when there is more than one urinal available it should be against the law to use the one right next to the only other person using one. Or to use the middle one so that the next person is forced to stand next to you.

If there are 15 urinals and some guy stands right next to me, I am just going to assume I'm about to get rolled or raped and act accordingly.

Yeh, some people have poor urinal etiquette.

Kudram123 turned me on to this thread...seems very fun and intelligent. i'm just returning to lit after a long sybbatical (from my Spelling studies, obviously)

I'm hooked on this one indeed

 

[neruda]

Kudram123 turned me on to this thread...seems very fun and intelligent. i'm just returning to lit after a long sybbatical (from my Spelling studies, obviously)

Soft helmet, good to have you with us. I'm Paul, and this is evyone else. Everyone else, this is soft helmet. Say hi!

 

[neruda]

Yeh, some people have poor urinal etiquette.




I'm hooked on this one indeed

Urinal Etiquette! That's obviously the right term for it.

Alright gentlemen, what are the rules of urinal etiquette? What do you wish other men did and didn't do in this penis waving, awkward moment of proximity to other men.

 

[perkyT]

I don't know whether to laugh or shake my head at some of these confessions. At least the laughing kicked me out of my grumpy mood.

 

[neruda]

I don't know whether to laugh or shake my head at some of these confessions. At least the laughing kicked me out of my grumpy mood.

Laughter is the appropriate response.

That's for joining us and playing our game.

 

[Aquagal]

Urinal Etiquette! That's obviously the right term for it.

Alright gentlemen, what are the rules of urinal etiquette? What do you wish other men did and didn't do in this penis waving, awkward moment of proximity to other men.

Is sword crossing allowed?

 

[Pervy_Sage]

Is sword crossing allowed?

Hell no!!! Lol

 

[BradBigBrain]

This is from Miss Manners

Don’t Make Eye Contact - Nothing is weirder than taking a glance over at your neighbor, let alone making full eye contact. Maintaining it for the duration of your trip, however, makes the act downright disturbing and could potentially qualify as sexual harassment. Instead…

Look straight ahead. No glancing around at anyone else’s business. Stare at the wall in front of you. Mentally write your lab paper. Daydream. Think of the Family Guy episode you just watched. Read the graffiti. Trust me, the sh*t people write is so much funnier than what’s going on next to you.

Speaking of funny, Don’t Make Jokes. Randomly saying “Dropping the kids off at the pool, too, eh?” does not help you bond with your neighbor – it makes you creepy. This goes for random bursts of laughter too. Unless you’re drunk, that definitely does not fly, especially if the jacked guy right next to you thinks that you’re laughing at him.

Whether there are 3 urinals or 30 empty, pick the one furthest away from me. I hate it when there are like 7 empty urinals and I go to the one all the way in the corner and then someone follows me to that corner. . WTF? Go away! Why would you want to plop your penis RIGHTNEXT to mine??

Oh, and don’t be the ass who picks the middle urinal if there are only 3. That leaves the guy after you only two options, neither of which are pleasant. He could hold his pee until you finish OR he could say screw it and decide to relieve himself next to you.

If your only option is to pee between two guys, leave. Stand outside the door if you like and wait for one of them to come out. No point in squeezing your way in and subjecting yourself to twice the awkwardness.

Use the barriers. I hate it when people don’t use the barriers properly. Like when they stand super far back from the urinal and I can see their entire package out of my peripheral. I especially hate this because it almost always leads to drippage- where they MISS and the pee hits the barrier before spraying all over the place. Also high on the list: when they’re standing so far back from the urinal (extra douchebag points if they’re also leaning back) that their golden shower falls short of the urinal and rains down onto the ground…splashing my new Jordans. Accidents only happen if you let them. I once had the unfortunate experience of someone urinating on my leg. Granted, it was a “friend” that did it and it certainly wasn’t an accident.

No noises. Yeah, I’m glad you can finally relieve your bladder but don’t start making any satisfied noises. No sighs. No moans. No “Ahhhhh”s and “Oooohh”s. And definitely no “Oh yeah”s. I don’t ever want to hear another man moan while my pants are down and my penis is exposed. Oh, and for heaven’s sake- no grunting!

Don’t poop in the urinal. I’ve never actually seen this one happen, but my friends swear to me that they have. Gross. Urinals are for number 1, guys, not 2.

Wash your hands. I’ll admit that I’m lazy. Sometimes I wear the same outfit for a week, sometimes I “forget” to shower, and, when the remote is all the way across the room, I call up my roommate and make him get it. As lazy as I am though, I ALWAYS (okay, mostly always) wash my hands. You should too. Sorry, but I don’t want to shake your hand right after you’ve held your penis. Stay out of the bowl of nuts on the bar too, people actually eat those.

Skinny jeans. I don’t know if this counts, but I can’t stand it when other guys wear skinny jeans that are so tight that they have to completely pull down their pants to take a piss. When I walk into the bathroom, I don’t want to be assaulted by the image of your bare ass as you pee. It’s a bathroom, keep it classy (well.. as classy as it can get in the guys bathroom, anyway).

… and that’s all for now folks.

 

[1sickbastard]

Don’t Make Eye Contact - Nothing is weirder than taking a glance over at your neighbor, let alone making full eye contact. Maintaining it for the duration of your trip, however, makes the act downright disturbing and could potentially qualify as sexual harassment. Instead…

Look straight ahead. No glancing around at anyone else’s business. Stare at the wall in front of you. Mentally write your lab paper. Daydream. Think of the Family Guy episode you just watched. Read the graffiti. Trust me, the sh*t people write is so much funnier than what’s going on next to you.

Speaking of funny, Don’t Make Jokes. Randomly saying “Dropping the kids off at the pool, too, eh?” does not help you bond with your neighbor – it makes you creepy. This goes for random bursts of laughter too. Unless you’re drunk, that definitely does not fly, especially if the jacked guy right next to you thinks that you’re laughing at him.

Whether there are 3 urinals or 30 empty, pick the one furthest away from me. I hate it when there are like 7 empty urinals and I go to the one all the way in the corner and then someone follows me to that corner. . WTF? Go away! Why would you want to plop your penis RIGHTNEXT to mine??

Oh, and don’t be the ass who picks the middle urinal if there are only 3. That leaves the guy after you only two options, neither of which are pleasant. He could hold his pee until you finish OR he could say screw it and decide to relieve himself next to you.

If your only option is to pee between two guys, leave. Stand outside the door if you like and wait for one of them to come out. No point in squeezing your way in and subjecting yourself to twice the awkwardness.

Use the barriers. I hate it when people don’t use the barriers properly. Like when they stand super far back from the urinal and I can see their entire package out of my peripheral. I especially hate this because it almost always leads to drippage- where they MISS and the pee hits the barrier before spraying all over the place. Also high on the list: when they’re standing so far back from the urinal (extra douchebag points if they’re also leaning back) that their golden shower falls short of the urinal and rains down onto the ground…splashing my new Jordans. Accidents only happen if you let them. I once had the unfortunate experience of someone urinating on my leg. Granted, it was a “friend” that did it and it certainly wasn’t an accident.

No noises. Yeah, I’m glad you can finally relieve your bladder but don’t start making any satisfied noises. No sighs. No moans. No “Ahhhhh”s and “Oooohh”s. And definitely no “Oh yeah”s. I don’t ever want to hear another man moan while my pants are down and my penis is exposed. Oh, and for heaven’s sake- no grunting!

Don’t poop in the urinal. I’ve never actually seen this one happen, but my friends swear to me that they have. Gross. Urinals are for number 1, guys, not 2.

Wash your hands. I’ll admit that I’m lazy. Sometimes I wear the same outfit for a week, sometimes I “forget” to shower, and, when the remote is all the way across the room, I call up my roommate and make him get it. As lazy as I am though, I ALWAYS (okay, mostly always) wash my hands. You should too. Sorry, but I don’t want to shake your hand right after you’ve held your penis. Stay out of the bowl of nuts on the bar too, people actually eat those.

Skinny jeans. I don’t know if this counts, but I can’t stand it when other guys wear skinny jeans that are so tight that they have to completely pull down their pants to take a piss. When I walk into the bathroom, I don’t want to be assaulted by the image of your bare ass as you pee. It’s a bathroom, keep it classy (well.. as classy as it can get in the guys bathroom, anyway).

… and that’s all for now folks.

Select the open urinal farthest from any other urinal(s) in use. (Already been said, but bears repeating)

Don't masturbate at a urinal. Use the toilet stall.

 

[perkyT]

Don’t Make Eye Contact - Nothing is weirder than taking a glance over at your neighbor, let alone making full eye contact. Maintaining it for the duration of your trip, however, makes the act downright disturbing and could potentially qualify as sexual harassment. Instead…

Look straight ahead. No glancing around at anyone else’s business. Stare at the wall in front of you. Mentally write your lab paper. Daydream. Think of the Family Guy episode you just watched. Read the graffiti. Trust me, the sh*t people write is so much funnier than what’s going on next to you.

Speaking of funny, Don’t Make Jokes. Randomly saying “Dropping the kids off at the pool, too, eh?” does not help you bond with your neighbor – it makes you creepy. This goes for random bursts of laughter too. Unless you’re drunk, that definitely does not fly, especially if the jacked guy right next to you thinks that you’re laughing at him.

Whether there are 3 urinals or 30 empty, pick the one furthest away from me. I hate it when there are like 7 empty urinals and I go to the one all the way in the corner and then someone follows me to that corner. . WTF? Go away! Why would you want to plop your penis RIGHTNEXT to mine??

Oh, and don’t be the ass who picks the middle urinal if there are only 3. That leaves the guy after you only two options, neither of which are pleasant. He could hold his pee until you finish OR he could say screw it and decide to relieve himself next to you.

If your only option is to pee between two guys, leave. Stand outside the door if you like and wait for one of them to come out. No point in squeezing your way in and subjecting yourself to twice the awkwardness.

Use the barriers. I hate it when people don’t use the barriers properly. Like when they stand super far back from the urinal and I can see their entire package out of my peripheral. I especially hate this because it almost always leads to drippage- where they MISS and the pee hits the barrier before spraying all over the place. Also high on the list: when they’re standing so far back from the urinal (extra douchebag points if they’re also leaning back) that their golden shower falls short of the urinal and rains down onto the ground…splashing my new Jordans. Accidents only happen if you let them. I once had the unfortunate experience of someone urinating on my leg. Granted, it was a “friend” that did it and it certainly wasn’t an accident.

No noises. Yeah, I’m glad you can finally relieve your bladder but don’t start making any satisfied noises. No sighs. No moans. No “Ahhhhh”s and “Oooohh”s. And definitely no “Oh yeah”s. I don’t ever want to hear another man moan while my pants are down and my penis is exposed. Oh, and for heaven’s sake- no grunting!

Don’t poop in the urinal. I’ve never actually seen this one happen, but my friends swear to me that they have. Gross. Urinals are for number 1, guys, not 2.

Wash your hands. I’ll admit that I’m lazy. Sometimes I wear the same outfit for a week, sometimes I “forget” to shower, and, when the remote is all the way across the room, I call up my roommate and make him get it. As lazy as I am though, I ALWAYS (okay, mostly always) wash my hands. You should too. Sorry, but I don’t want to shake your hand right after you’ve held your penis. Stay out of the bowl of nuts on the bar too, people actually eat those.

Skinny jeans. I don’t know if this counts, but I can’t stand it when other guys wear skinny jeans that are so tight that they have to completely pull down their pants to take a piss. When I walk into the bathroom, I don’t want to be assaulted by the image of your bare ass as you pee. It’s a bathroom, keep it classy (well.. as classy as it can get in the guys bathroom, anyway).

… and that’s all for now folks.

Thank God we have stalls With doors in the ladies' room!

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Is sword crossing allowed?

OH MY GOD!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha

 

[Aquagal]

Thank God we have stalls With doors in the ladies' room!

Yeah, because toilet hovering is so unattractive!

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Is sword crossing allowed?

*giggles* My light saber is bigger than yours!

 

[Aquagal]

*giggles* My light saber is bigger than yours!

I hope so!

I just made an observation. Our Av's have similar angles.

 

[Kudram123]

Urinal Etiquette! That's obviously the right term for it.

Alright gentlemen, what are the rules of urinal etiquette? What do you wish other men did and didn't do in this penis waving, awkward moment of proximity to other men.

So far we seem to be missing one rather improtant bit :

http://www.teesd.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/dont-cross-the-streams-t-shirt.jpg

 

[thesweetsweetness]

Thank God we have stalls With doors in the ladies' room!

Agreed!

 

[fungatorgurl101]

I hope so!

I just made an observation. Our Av's have similar angles.

I like it

 

[neruda]

- 38, Female - Last week I placed an ad on Craigslist's casual encounters. Forty five men responded, and I had sex with three of them (separately), all in a two day time frame. My boyfriend has no idea.

 

[neruda]

Is sword crossing allowed?

Not no, but HELL NO!

 

[neruda]

Don’t Make Eye Contact - Nothing is weirder than taking a glance over at your neighbor, let alone making full eye contact. Maintaining it for the duration of your trip, however, makes the act downright disturbing and could potentially qualify as sexual harassment. Instead…

Look straight ahead. No glancing around at anyone else’s business. Stare at the wall in front of you. Mentally write your lab paper. Daydream. Think of the Family Guy episode you just watched. Read the graffiti. Trust me, the sh*t people write is so much funnier than what’s going on next to you.

Speaking of funny, Don’t Make Jokes. Randomly saying “Dropping the kids off at the pool, too, eh?” does not help you bond with your neighbor – it makes you creepy. This goes for random bursts of laughter too. Unless you’re drunk, that definitely does not fly, especially if the jacked guy right next to you thinks that you’re laughing at him.

Whether there are 3 urinals or 30 empty, pick the one furthest away from me. I hate it when there are like 7 empty urinals and I go to the one all the way in the corner and then someone follows me to that corner. . WTF? Go away! Why would you want to plop your penis RIGHTNEXT to mine??

Oh, and don’t be the ass who picks the middle urinal if there are only 3. That leaves the guy after you only two options, neither of which are pleasant. He could hold his pee until you finish OR he could say screw it and decide to relieve himself next to you.

If your only option is to pee between two guys, leave. Stand outside the door if you like and wait for one of them to come out. No point in squeezing your way in and subjecting yourself to twice the awkwardness.

Use the barriers. I hate it when people don’t use the barriers properly. Like when they stand super far back from the urinal and I can see their entire package out of my peripheral. I especially hate this because it almost always leads to drippage- where they MISS and the pee hits the barrier before spraying all over the place. Also high on the list: when they’re standing so far back from the urinal (extra douchebag points if they’re also leaning back) that their golden shower falls short of the urinal and rains down onto the ground…splashing my new Jordans. Accidents only happen if you let them. I once had the unfortunate experience of someone urinating on my leg. Granted, it was a “friend” that did it and it certainly wasn’t an accident.

No noises. Yeah, I’m glad you can finally relieve your bladder but don’t start making any satisfied noises. No sighs. No moans. No “Ahhhhh”s and “Oooohh”s. And definitely no “Oh yeah”s. I don’t ever want to hear another man moan while my pants are down and my penis is exposed. Oh, and for heaven’s sake- no grunting!

Don’t poop in the urinal. I’ve never actually seen this one happen, but my friends swear to me that they have. Gross. Urinals are for number 1, guys, not 2.

Wash your hands. I’ll admit that I’m lazy. Sometimes I wear the same outfit for a week, sometimes I “forget” to shower, and, when the remote is all the way across the room, I call up my roommate and make him get it. As lazy as I am though, I ALWAYS (okay, mostly always) wash my hands. You should too. Sorry, but I don’t want to shake your hand right after you’ve held your penis. Stay out of the bowl of nuts on the bar too, people actually eat those.

Skinny jeans. I don’t know if this counts, but I can’t stand it when other guys wear skinny jeans that are so tight that they have to completely pull down their pants to take a piss. When I walk into the bathroom, I don’t want to be assaulted by the image of your bare ass as you pee. It’s a bathroom, keep it classy (well.. as classy as it can get in the guys bathroom, anyway).

… and that’s all for now folks.

Brad, this on had me rolling. I actually printed out a copy and will post it in the restroom at work.

I would add this to the list (although it is partially covered by #1) No "Meat Grazing", progress checking, stream comparison or any other forms of casual inspection. This isn't cold war Russia, there is no understanding that we can monitor our neighbor.

On a side note, I once heard that those barriers were originally installed by a restaurant in Texas that was frequented by John Wayne. Apparently John never used urinals because he had gotten peed on too many timed by startled guys that recognized him and turned to say hello before pinching off the flow.