A question of what to expect on this forum...

[graceanne]

It's arguable that asshole's post with the intent of of pissing people off, too, though. This feels like a which came first, the chick or the egg, discussion. If a person is a troll, can he also be an asshole, is he necessarily an asshole...and if a person is an asshole, can he also be a troll...

Ah, but that's the difference. Assholes don't post with the intent to piss people off, they simply don't care if they do. They also don't care if they don't piss people off. They simply don't care how you feel about them or their posts.

A troll, however, will leave if they don't piss you off. The point is to piss you off and if that doesn't work they leave. That's why you can get rid of a troll by not feeding them, but an asshole is here to stay.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Ah, but that's the difference. Assholes don't post with the intent to piss people off, they simply don't care if they do. They also don't care if they don't piss people off. They simply don't care how you feel about them or their posts.

A troll, however, will leave if they don't piss you off. The point is to piss you off and if that doesn't work they leave. That's why you can get rid of a troll by not feeding them, but an asshole is here to stay.

Which mostly sounds like a troll that won't leave.

 

[graceanne]

Which mostly sounds like a troll that won't leave.

Somewhat. But the main thing to keep in mind is that all trolls are assholes, but not all assholes are trolls. I might be biased, though, cause you all know how much I adore trolls - they're so much fun.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Somewhat. But the main thing to keep in mind is that all trolls are assholes, but not all assholes are trolls. I might be biased, though, cause you all know how much I adore trolls - they're so much fun.

I adore neither trolls nor assholes.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

And as you can see, Ms. Wicked, threads here often get sidetracked or hijacked.

 

[graceanne]

And as you can see, Ms. Wicked, threads here often get sidetracked or hijacked.

Nuh-uh!

... ooh look! A sparkly!




What were we talking about?

 

[WickedSpitFire]

And as you can see, Ms. Wicked, threads here often get sidetracked or hijacked.

Yanno. It's cool.

 

[Licia]

Yanno. It's cool.

I do love me some organic conversation.

 

[Primalex]

Which mostly sounds like a troll that won't leave.

So what, you look and sound mostly like a guy.

Isn't how we feel the important part?

 

[Stella_Omega]

So what, you look and sound mostly like a guy.

Isn't how we feel the important part?

Important to whom?

 

[ownedsubgal]

hello WickedSpitFire, welcome to the BDSM forum. there is nothing particularly helpful or insightful i have to add here, i feel Grace and a couple of others did a more than adequate job there.

but i wanted to very lightly touch on a comment you made in your original post, in which you described labels as fluid. there are many here who will not share that opinion, myself among them. you just are who/what you are, up is up and not sometimes down or to the side, etc. too often i've noticed people reject the very idea of labels when they may not fit into one or two very specific groups with which for some reason they've developed some sort of obsession. check out webster's...there are a whole heck of a lot of labels out there, baby.

i also wanted to add that i Primalex.

 

[Stella_Omega]

but i wanted to very lightly touch on a comment you made in your original post, in which you described labels as fluid. there are many here who will not share that opinion, myself among them. you just are who/what you are, up is up and not sometimes down or to the side, etc. too often i've noticed people reject the very idea of labels when they may not fit into one or two very specific groups with which for some reason they've developed some sort of obsession. check out webster's...there are a whole heck of a lot of labels out there, baby.

Actually, this might be the single most helpful thing anyone has said in this thread!
And the bolded-- the most insightful.

She's right, OP. Much of BDSM community is people who prefer, or even need, strict guidelines and boundaries and definitions. And that is, in fact, why labels are necessary. If you find partners who don't worry about labels, then they needn't be important for you, either. Untill you find those people, though-- you need to communicate with folk who don't know you yet.

When one label does not fit you perfectly, you may find that adding labels will be more useful to you and the people you are talking to, than denying that labels exist.

 

[Shankara20]

I adore neither trolls nor assholes.

errrrr, as to "assholes" I find them very entertaining and great to play with. So as not to insult the one I came equipped with, I tend to refer to people that are behaving badly as more of an "asshat" then a "asshole". I do not want my lovely bodypart play thinggy , which I do adore, to get mad and go all "closed up" and stuff.

But then again you know the problem with labels....

 

[WickedSpitFire]

Actually, this might be the single most helpful thing anyone has said in this thread!
And the bolded-- the most insightful.

She's right, OP. Much of BDSM community is people who prefer, or even need, strict guidelines and boundaries and definitions. And that is, in fact, why labels are necessary. If you find partners who don't worry about labels, then they needn't be important for you, either. Untill you find those people, though-- you need to communicate with folk who don't know you yet.

When one label does not fit you perfectly, you may find that adding labels will be more useful to you and the people you are talking to, than denying that labels exist.

I'm not saying that labels don't exist, just that I have difficulty with them and for that reason somewhat dislike them. I find for me that labels are fluid, because I view myself as a fluid person. I feel as though I change, and with me, so might too a label I may have previously settled on. I may be something, but I don't look at it with permanency. If I didn't constantly change as a way of growth I'd be very unhappy with myself.

For now, what I have is a very minimal list of labels I can use to describe what I am, and a larger list of labels to describe what I'm not. The in between list of things I have not yet decided if I am or am not, even if it's only sometimes and rarely at that...is a work in progress.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Ah. What you're saying I think, is that you change labels, because you have changed. Although labels themselves are not so fluid, people are.

I totally agree with that. And most of us need to be able to jettison labls that no longer describe us-- of course, that's the easy part. Getting our partners to accept the change is sometimes damn difficult.

For now, what I have is a very minimal list of labels I can use to describe what I am, and a larger list of labels to describe what I'm not. The in between list of things I have not yet decided if I am or am not, even if it's only sometimes and rarely at that...is a work in progress.

Well, sure. Which is why MORE words are better than few.

We can say "Blue" and disappoint every single person who looks at that blue, because each one of them was expecting a different version of blue. Turquoise blue. Cerulean blue. Grey-blue. Indigo blue. Midnight blue. Baby blue.

"I used to be cerulean blue, but as I got darker I became indigo blue, and I am still getting darker, and will probably become black eventually."

"Really? I used to be blue, myself, but I went purple and now I am totally red."

"What shade of red? Cherry, or blood? "

"Well, coral actually. With some orange overtones."

 

[graceanne]

Well, sure. Which is why MORE words are better than few.

We can say "Blue" and disappoint every single person who looks at that blue, because each one of them was expecting a different version of blue. Turquoise blue. Cerulean blue. Grey-blue. Indigo blue. Midnight blue. Baby blue.

"I used to be cerulean blue, but as I got darker I became indigo blue, and I am still getting darker, and will probably become black eventually."

"Really? I used to be blue, myself, but I went purple and now I am totally red."

"What shade of red? Cherry, or blood? "

"Well, coral actually. With some orange overtones."

Great analogy. If we still had a thought of the day calender I would SO put this there.

 

[seela]

Great analogy. If we still had a thought of the day calender I would SO put this there.

Maybe somebody should start one again? Not as a calendar, because they never got finished, but more like "hidden gems" or highlights or something like that. A lot of people don't read all threads and they might miss out on a lot of insight.

 

[WickedSpitFire]

Maybe somebody should start one again? Not as a calendar, because they never got finished, but more like "hidden gems" or highlights or something like that. A lot of people don't read all threads and they might miss out on a lot of insight.

I second this.

 

[graceanne]

Maybe somebody should start one again? Not as a calendar, because they never got finished, but more like "hidden gems" or highlights or something like that. A lot of people don't read all threads and they might miss out on a lot of insight.

I was actually considering having the librarian do something like that, but I really like your idea of not doing it as a calender. Hidden Gems sounds like a great idea for a title. I wonder if we could get it stickied.

Hm....

 

[seela]

I was actually considering having the librarian do something like that, but I really like your idea of not doing it as a calender. Hidden Gems sounds like a great idea for a title. I wonder if we could get it stickied.

Hm....

I'm sure KC or Etoile will sticky it, but as I said in the 50 Shades thread, I think the stickies get overlooked often, because they look different than the other threads. A lot of people haven't found the BDSM Book Club thread, when they've seen it mentioned in some discussion and have asked for a link for it - and the BDSM Book Club thread is a sticky, so I think that serves as proof that they do get overlooked sometimes.

Then again, the New Faces thread seems to be doing just fine here and people post there regularly, so it might work.

 

[graceanne]

I'm sure KC or Etoile will sticky it, but as I said in the 50 Shades thread, I think the stickies get overlooked often, because they look different than the other threads. A lot of people haven't found the BDSM Book Club thread, when they've seen it mentioned in some discussion and have asked for a link for it - and the BDSM Book Club thread is a sticky, so I think that serves as proof that they do get overlooked sometimes.

Then again, the New Faces thread seems to be doing just fine here and people post there regularly, so it might work.

True enough. Poor furry has gotten almost no traffic since I asked to have it stickied. And even with the new faces, I see people occasionally, who've already posted, saying 'oh, i didn't notice this'.