Your best or your worst PM or IM opening lines... and if you want your reactions ...

[RedHairedandFriendly]

hey
After losing a bet to my ex, I recently had to show up at her best friend's bday party in white sneakers, a trench coat, and a white gstring. It just got worse from there. To make matters worse, one of my teachers from high school was at the party. Care to chat?


*triple yawn*

 

[Blase]

hey
After losing a bet to my ex, I recently had to show up at her best friend's bday party in white sneakers, a trench coat, and a white gstring. It just got worse from there. To make matters worse, one of my teachers from high school was at the party. Care to chat?


*triple yawn*

Well, points for creativity, if not relevance.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Well, points for creativity, if not relevance.

Only points I'll give are to spelling and grammar. I'd almost put money on this PM having been sent to me before.

 

[Aurantica]

hey
After losing a bet to my ex, I recently had to show up at her best friend's bday party in white sneakers, a trench coat, and a white gstring. It just got worse from there. To make matters worse, one of my teachers from high school was at the party. Care to chat?


*triple yawn*

I got that one today...

 

[Fish_Tales]

I got that one today...

Damn - I must have hit the "send" button twice!

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I got that one today...

*sniff sniff* I thought I was special.

 

[TexasWife25]

"Last December I took this pic. The shot glass is from a lady in Texas who sent it to me the year before. I squirt almost twice as much as the average man. So since you are from Texas, I thought this would be something to show you."


*faceplam*

 

[Fish_Tales]

"Last December I took this pic. The shot glass is from a lady in Texas who sent it to me the year before. I squirt almost twice as much as the average man. So since you are from Texas, I thought this would be something to show you."


*faceplam*

Squirts twice as much as the average???

Where can you get turbo charged water pistols like that???

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

"Last December I took this pic. The shot glass is from a lady in Texas who sent it to me the year before. I squirt almost twice as much as the average man. So since you are from Texas, I thought this would be something to show you."


*faceplam*

He seriously sent you a picture? Please tell me it did NOT have his sperm in it.

 

[TexasWife25]

He seriously sent you a picture? Please tell me it did NOT have his sperm in it.

There was a picture of a shot glass included in the PM. If he shot his load into it .. he wasnt an above average squirter

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

There was a picture of a shot glass included in the PM. If he shot his load into it .. he wasnt an above average squirter

lol - Not at all. I'm just glad you didn't have to look at it! I don't mind cum, matter of fact, kinda like it, but I don't need random cum coming at me, ya know. lol

 

[TomBoner]

lol - Not at all. I'm just glad you didn't have to look at it! I don't mind cum, matter of fact, kinda like it, but I don't need random cum coming at me, ya know. lol

Can random cum come from a cock you know, or can random cum only come from a cock you have yet to meet?

I'm gonna go research confuscious on this one!

 

[Lord Pmann]

"Last December I took this pic. The shot glass is from a lady in Texas who sent it to me the year before. I squirt almost twice as much as the average man. So since you are from Texas, I thought this would be something to show you."


*faceplam*

This is the best thing I've read all week. I mean, I just can't imagine a girl doesn't want to see a guy's cum in a shot glass. Apparently I know nothing about women. When I proposed to my wife I went with the semen filled shot glass rather than the diamonds and platinum approach. Maybe it's time I treat her right and replace that shot glass with a ring!

 

[TexasWife25]

lol - Not at all. I'm just glad you didn't have to look at it! I don't mind cum, matter of fact, kinda like it, but I don't need random cum coming at me, ya know. lol

I know exactly what you mean. I love cum, but I kinda prefer the whole process, maybe even to be on a 1st name basis when the owner of sed cum ... *shrug* Im werid like that.

 

[TomBoner]

Only requiring knowledge of 1st name and not last. Some lucky guy still has a shot!



And nobody tell her that she spell's werid rather weirdly!

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Can random cum come from a cock you know, or can random cum only come from a cock you have yet to meet?

I'm gonna go research confuscious on this one!

I'd say cum from a cock I've met and agreed to let cum. lol

(oh that sounded all Domme)

This is the best thing I've read all week. I mean, I just can't imagine a girl doesn't want to see a guy's cum in a shot glass. Apparently I know nothing about women. When I proposed to my wife I went with the semen filled shot glass rather than the diamonds and platinum approach. Maybe it's time I treat her right and replace that shot glass with a ring!

I would say it's time.

I know exactly what you mean. I love cum, but I kinda prefer the whole process, maybe even to be on a 1st name basis when the owner of sed cum ... *shrug* Im werid like that.

*chuckles* Not weird at all. I prefer a named cummer too.

 

[Sensualdreamer]

Received ***I know this is a long shot, but I'm desperate. you said 1-10 you were a 10 soo.. wanna watch me on cam if not go on cam yourself?***

Reaction: This is the type of PM where I wanna take a water hose and shower a guy down. If you have the time to click on my profile to PM me, you should take the time to read my profile. You have NEVER even spoken to me on any thread let alone my thread. Am I gonna reply to your PM...nope, but even if you had spoken to me previously this type of PM is just among the crappiest that a woman can receive.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Received ***I know this is a long shot, but I'm desperate. you said 1-10 you were a 10 soo.. wanna watch me on cam if not go on cam yourself?***

Reaction: This is the type of PM where I wanna take a water hose and shower a guy down. If you have the time to click on my profile to PM me, you should take the time to read my profile. You have NEVER even spoken to me on any thread let alone my thread. Am I gonna reply to your PM...nope, but even if you had spoken to me previously this type of PM is just among the crappiest that a woman can receive.

You know... I'm offended that he was "desperate" so he just picked someone randomly and I was the lucky girl. It makes you feel loved don't it.

 

[Lord Pmann]

You know... I'm offended that he was "desperate" so he just picked someone randomly and I was the lucky girl. It makes you feel loved don't it.

Or, you could be a glass half full girl and feel like you won the lottery!!! The prize being Mr. McDoucherson.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Or, you could be a glass half full girl and feel like you won the lottery!!! The prize being Mr. McDoucherson.

True and perhaps I would feel that way if I were on the edge of a climax and needed that one special surprise man to get me there at that exact moment in time!

 

[TomBoner]

I'd say cum from a cock I've met and agreed to let cum. lol

(oh that sounded all Domme)

I'm having visions of you walking up to a man with a hard-on, reaching out and giving his cock a good firm hand shake, while saying "How do you do, Mr. Cock! Would you like to cum for me today?"



Course, it could just be the opposite reaction of giving it a firm shake and then saying "Ohhhhhhh! You are a slimeball cock! I will NEVER agree to let you cum with me, Mr. Prick!"

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I'm having visions of you walking up to a man with a hard-on, reaching out and giving his cock a good firm hand shake, while saying "How do you do, Mr. Cock! Would you like to cum for me today?"



Course, it could just be the opposite reaction of giving it a firm shake and then saying "Ohhhhhhh! You are a slimeball cock! I will NEVER agree to let you cum with me, Mr. Prick!"

*chuckles*

Yeah, that's so me.

 

[dancerhailey]

looks like i got another PM from somebody who got my name wrong. this time i was called Hayley.... at least they got the name right, unlike the last person to who got my name wrong and called me bailey lol

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

looks like i got another PM from somebody who got my name wrong. this time i was called Hayley.... at least they got the name right, unlike the last person to who got my name wrong and called me bailey lol

Some folks are called Beth. (Not me, but another Litster lady has been called another woman's name).

 

[Aquagal]

I got called an old lady last night.

Kids with bad manners...sheesh!