Experienced Men And Women Please Help Me
- Thread starter sam35
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FurryFury
Addict of Sensation
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- Apr 3, 2005
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This is NOT different from any other situation or relationship. My advice, "train" her just like anyone else.
Respect her hard limits.
Take it slow.
Take what you want.
Nibble at the soft limits as you gain mutual trust and respect.
FF
Respect her hard limits.
Take it slow.
Take what you want.
Nibble at the soft limits as you gain mutual trust and respect.
FF
subwannabe
Literotica Guru
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- Sep 25, 2004
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- 2,872
I don't know the dynamics of the relationship. Knowing that would help. Also don't know you. Your post kind of makes me shake my head because it seems like if you have to ask for help with this then maybe this isn't your thing anyway. I'm also not sure what you mean by "give me all the powers". She has laid out the parameters of the relationship but I can't help but think you are considering expanding her parameters which wouldn't be an honest thing to do. I don't get why you want PM's. This is a discussion bulletin board.
FurryFury
Addict of Sensation
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HottieMama
Notta Domme
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Here's a hint too... I'm not your "mommy," and PMing me asking for any type of advice is a REALLY bad idea.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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The very first step is to communicate with her about your (plural) situation. It seems that she has opened the discussion, by expressing her desire to be submissive, as we say, in the bedroom (meaning not a 24/7 TPE situation). You admit in your second post to being "new at this," so a good starting point for you would be to visit - frequently and for substantial periods of time! - the BDSM Talk Library (<--- click me!). The second post in the Library thread lists links to alphabetical groupings of topics, and within those groupings are links to threads concerning just about anything about which you - or she, or both of you - might have questions or concerns. Learn something about the BDSM culture before you try to jump into it, kind of like learning how to run before you enter the Boston Marathon.
The bolded portions of this quoted post are key, especially the second one. One of the easiest ways for you to gain mutual trust and respect is... <drum roll> go to the Library and educate yourselves. Together. Since you are both (apparently) new to this culture, learning about it together can be remarkably bonding while it's educational.This is NOT different from any other situation or relationship. My advice, "train" her just like anyone else.
Respect her hard limits.
Take it slow.
Take what you want.
Nibble at the soft limits as you gain mutual trust and respect.
FF
I have to disagree with the first bolded portion of SWB's post. All of us were new at this at some point, and had to learn somehow in order to make it work. At least you're aware that you don't know much (if anything) about the culture, and you seem - so far
- to want to learn. Those are good things.As to the second bolded portion of SWB's post, yeah. This *is* a discussion board, and you may (unintentionally) help someone else (who's perhaps too shy to ask questions) in the same or a similar situation by posting your queries and concerns here and getting answers of some sort from more experienced folks.
Sam, Sam, Sam... You're a human being, and you're trying to learn about and do something that's apparently brand new to you. Of *course* you're going to make mistakes! The key thing here is for you and your lady to educate yourself so that the mistakes you (plural) make will be of the variety about which you can laugh together in the future: "Do you remember the time we..." rather than the variety which involves calling for an ambulance, going to the emergency room, and spending long, terrified hours answering the questions of police officers who don't understand this culture, think that you're an abusive domestic partner, and want to put you in jail for long, long years.
Lest that last terrify you too much, many of us have been living in this culture for years, even decades, without ever having had to undergo such an experience, but either know or know of someone who has had it happen to them because they went too far, not knowing the potential risks and dangers of what they were doing. In most cases, those people were "newbies" who thought they could just wing it. You've taken the right first step by seeking information. Now... get that information, through questions here, through going through the Library, and by seeking out other sources of information, many of which are available through such universal resources as Amazon.com, etc.
Welcome to the BDSM Talk forum, and good luck to you in your quest!
Just start somewhere and take it from there before she gets it from someone else...buy a book, read some Lit stories, dear God man do something!
Loverskitten
I bite
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I just laughed coffee out my nose
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
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Don't expect to take "all the powers." You will only get the sexual power at first, most likely. Anything too onerous and she will be gone.
She already is doing two very demanding fulltime jobs. She does not need to add a third. Your job is to make that portion of her life easier.
What research have you done? Since most of us do not have mentors at our shoulder-- I recommend you read some books, as well as ask us questions here.
But I don't even know what practical advice to give you yet-- your original post is pretty vague.
She already is doing two very demanding fulltime jobs. She does not need to add a third. Your job is to make that portion of her life easier.
What research have you done? Since most of us do not have mentors at our shoulder-- I recommend you read some books, as well as ask us questions here.
But I don't even know what practical advice to give you yet-- your original post is pretty vague.
