SpongeBob

[CandiCame]

So I can't sleep because of this whole, nervous disorder thing- tomarrow I'm going to try and find a psychiatrist or something who's open on weekends, because this shit is just getting old. For some reason, Spongebob is playing in the other room- I guess my little brother isn't asleep yet, because tomarrow is Saturday, and I have a question for everyone who has kids.

Mr. Krabs, Spongebob's boss has a daughter named Pearl that is fucking up his buisness, the Krusty Krab by making it all vegan with salads and shit. Pearl is a whale. Mr. Krabs, is a Krab. That ain't right.

The obvious answer is that she was adopted, but I honestly don't see a douchebag like Mr Krabs, who'll kill you over $20 and take the fillings out of your teeth after you're dead- a man who fought zombies over a hat because it was valuable- would take in and raise a child out of the kindness of his heart. That makes no sense. Therefore, Pearl must be his biological daughter.

Plus, the show has shown other whales, and they're HUGE in comparison to Pearl, and they don't walk on fins like she does, they're more anatomically correct. This leads me to believe that she's half-Krab. So this leads to one inevitable conclusion. Mr Krabs, 16 years ago, for whatever reason, totally fucked a whale.

http://en.spongepedia.org/images/2/28/TheBeachBand.JPGhttp://nick.mtvnimages.com/nick-assets/video/images/spongebob-squarepants/spongebob-mrkrabs-takes-a-vacation-the-greatest-place-on-earth-clip.jpg?format=jpeg&matteColor=white

 

[dirtwrench]

Dear God I had hoped that since my kids are now 20 & 18, I would never ever again have that song stuck in MY head. Thanks Candi ya rotten piece of shit.

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants..."

asshole.

 

[fluffPE]

Ummmm...can we get get a therapist or something in here right away? SaintPeter, are you free?

 

[CandiCame]

Ummmm...can we get get a therapist or something in here right away? SaintPeter, are you free?

I'd appreciate it.

it's even more frightening that I'm completely 100% sober right now.

 

[dirtwrench]

Sobriety has ruined many good nights in this world. Relax dummy. The sun will rise tomorrow and life will still suck then too.

 

[QueenLevitra]

So I can't sleep because of this whole, nervous disorder thing- tomarrow I'm going to try and find a psychiatrist or something who's open on weekends, because this shit is just getting old. For some reason, Spongebob is playing in the other room- I guess my little brother isn't asleep yet, because tomarrow is Saturday, and I have a question for everyone who has kids.

Mr. Krabs, Spongebob's boss has a daughter named Pearl that is fucking up his buisness, the Krusty Krab by making it all vegan with salads and shit. Pearl is a whale. Mr. Krabs, is a Krab. That ain't right.

The obvious answer is that she was adopted, but I honestly don't see a douchebag like Mr Krabs, who'll kill you over $20 and take the fillings out of your teeth after you're dead- a man who fought zombies over a hat because it was valuable- would take in and raise a child out of the kindness of his heart. That makes no sense. Therefore, Pearl must be his biological daughter.

Plus, the show has shown other whales, and they're HUGE in comparison to Pearl, and they don't walk on fins like she does, they're more anatomically correct. This leads me to believe that she's half-Krab. So this leads to one inevitable conclusion. Mr Krabs, 16 years ago, for whatever reason, totally fucked a whale.

http://en.spongepedia.org/images/2/28/TheBeachBand.JPGhttp://nick.mtvnimages.com/nick-assets/video/images/spongebob-squarepants/spongebob-mrkrabs-takes-a-vacation-the-greatest-place-on-earth-clip.jpg?format=jpeg&matteColor=white

Dude, Krabs is into the BBW.

Live and let live, k?thx!

 

[CandiCame]

Dude, Krabs is into the BBW.

Live and let live, k?thx!

I was more interested in how he did that, anatomically. Like, did he crawl up in there and jack off? He's had Pearl since she was a baby- in the episode that was just on, he says that he taught her to breech. So I wonder what happened to Mrs. Krabs...

 

[QueenLevitra]

I was more interested in how he did that, anatomically. Like, did he crawl up in there and jack off? He's had Pearl since she was a baby- in the episode that was just on, he says that he taught her to breech. So I wonder what happened to Mrs. Krabs...

Mrs. Krabs took the pics.

I often wonder about the pug/greyhound puppies at the pound too.

 

[CandiCame]

http://www.weirdasianews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/monster-crab.jpg

Maybe he's a spider crab. They get pretty big...

 

[Kurokami]

The obvious answer is that she was adopted, but I honestly don't see a douchebag like Mr Krabs, who'll kill you over $20 and take the fillings out of your teeth after you're dead- a man who fought zombies over a hat because it was valuable- would take in and raise a child out of the kindness of his heart. That makes no sense. Therefore, Pearl must be his biological daughter.

No, no, no. You're thinking about this the wrong way. Let me tell you: there are some people who would pay quite handsomely for whale meat. It's entirely possible Mr. Krabs just thinks of her as a long term investment.

 

[CandiCame]

No, no, no. You're thinking about this the wrong way. Let me tell you: there are some people who would pay quite handsomely for whale meat. It's entirely possible Mr. Krabs just thinks of her as a long term investment.

You just blew my fucking mind.

So that's what happened to her mom.

 

[Kurokami]

You just blew my fucking mind.

So that's what happened to her mom.

Hell, given how little Pearl appears in the series, it might not even be the same Pearl each time. There could be a series of Pearls, each one replaced when they reach a certain level of spoiled, entitled plumpness.

Krabs is a cold hearted motherfucker, after all.

 

[underthis]

Ha, ha! I like sponge bob

 

[KRCummings]

The musings of an idiotic, whiny, gay loser aside Spongebob was for some time the best show on TV. Much like The Simpsons it had the best writing staff around and the animation allowed for an anything-goes approach. It's best seasons rank up there with The Simpsons, Looney Tunes and Ren and Stimpy in terms of animation. Overall it ranks alongside MASH, Simpsons, Cheers, etc.