do you believe people can change?

[blunt_trauma]

are past mistakes ever forgiven?

 

[Liar]

Two questions there.

Yes.

Possibly, but not surely.

 

[VaticanAssassin]

are past mistakes ever forgiven?

People make mistakes that are against their true nature. I can easily forgive these.

As far as people changing there true nature. I believe it takes a traumatic event and a certain degree of intelligence to change who you are. So while very rare it is impossible.

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

are past mistakes ever forgiven?

no you're still a cunt

 

[neci]

are past mistakes ever forgiven?

jesus saves

 

[Sean]

jesus saves

But Scholes scores on the rebound.

 

[English Lady]

People can change, yes.

I think forgiveness can be achieved with time and a softening of heart. I'm not sure that's the same as forgetting though.

 

[warrior queen]

Some people can change.
Sometimes forgiveness is possible.
Depends on both the person, and how much you care.

 

[Angeline]

I believe the lesson of my failed first marriage is that people don't change. I'm a little slow on the uptake: it took me eighteen years to realize he'd never be the person I wanted him to be. And the kind of compromise I'd have to make to stay with him was not in me. I've forgiven but I'll never make that mistake again.

 

[subwannabe]

That is two questions.


First question: People can change but they can only change by themselves if they really want to. Other people can't change them.

Last question: Mistakes can be forgiven by some and not by others.

 

[December]

Yes, people can change. There are a lot of variables though.

 

[December]

I believe the lesson of my failed first marriage is that people don't change. I'm a little slow on the uptake: it took me eighteen years to realize he'd never be the person I wanted him to be. And the kind of compromise I'd have to make to stay with him was not in me. I've forgiven but I'll never make that mistake again.

In this scenario was he aware he needed to change? Was he ready to accept whatever wrong doings he did and try to help himself change? It really has to be his choice. You wanting him to be someone else won't do a damn bit of good until he makes the choice to become a better person himself.

 

[TexasWife25]

I think people learn from mistakes and can grow from that, but fundamental changes are few and far between. And forgiveness is more about the person forgiving then the person being forgiven.

 

[Wings27]

People can change.

As for forgiveness, that has always varied in my expirience.

 

[Johnny_Ray_Wilson]

Forgiving oneself is the most important and difficult first step. You cannot make others change their opinion of you, you must have faith they can do it themselves.

 

[blunt_trauma]

I believe the lesson of my failed first marriage is that people don't change. I'm a little slow on the uptake: it took me eighteen years to realize he'd never be the person I wanted him to be. And the kind of compromise I'd have to make to stay with him was not in me. I've forgiven but I'll never make that mistake again.

i think the lesson here is to marry a man who already is who you want him to be, rather than marry someone you don't want and expect him to change to fit your desires.

 

[MNGuy]

Can people change? Yes.

Can past mistakes ever be forgiven? For me, depends on the pain involved. I'm not really the forgiving type, you made your decision, live with it.

 

[Angeline]

In this scenario was he aware he needed to change? Was he ready to accept whatever wrong doings he did and try to help himself change? It really has to be his choice. You wanting him to be someone else won't do a damn bit of good until he makes the choice to become a better person himself.

He was aware. He was a very poor communicator: he'd get pissed or sad about any little thing but could never really articulate what was going on with him. We went for counseling (at my request) for a year, and at the end of that year the counselor basically said if he wasn't ready to change he (counselor) couldn't really help. So hubby couldn't or wouldn't help himself and I could not live that way anymore. My biggest mistake was being young and naive and thinking I could change him. Now, of course, I know it doesn't work like that. The only person anyone can change is themself.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Sure people change. They change every day of their lives.

But forgiveness isnt unilateral. Lotsa folks are fools and okay with the abuse and harm they experienced, and so are their trespassers. Real forgiveness includes action from both parties, the trespasser has to feel remorse and do penance to repair what they injured, the victim has to let it go once the injury is repaired.

 

[Angeline]

i think the lesson here is to marry a man who already is who you want him to be, rather than marry someone you don't want and expect him to change to fit your desires.

Exactly.

 

[Johnny_Ray_Wilson]

are past mistakes ever forgiven?

Michael Jackson says it best in this youtube link. You have to bear with the dumb ass commercial in front of it:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PivWY9wn5ps

 

[bronzeage]

I believe the lesson of my failed first marriage is that people don't change. I'm a little slow on the uptake: it took me eighteen years to realize he'd never be the person I wanted him to be. And the kind of compromise I'd have to make to stay with him was not in me. I've forgiven but I'll never make that mistake again.

The driving force for change in a person is pain. If something hurts, we'll find something else to do. The change is not predictable and certainly not controllable. You never know where it will be in the end.

A person who is numb to pain is truly fucked. They will never change. Why should they?

 

[Angeline]

The driving force for change in a person is pain. If something hurts, we'll find something else to do. The change is not predictable and certainly not controllable. You never know where it will be in the end.

A person who is numb to pain is truly fucked. They will never change. Why should they?

Some people love their pain, cherish it and build a wall around themself with it.

 

[blunt_trauma]

Exactly.

but that does not prove that people can't/won't change. it merely proves the foolishness of banking on future changes suiting your desires.

 

[December]

He was aware. He was a very poor communicator: he'd get pissed or sad about any little thing but could never really articulate what was going on with him. We went for counseling (at my request) for a year, and at the end of that year the counselor basically said if he wasn't ready to change he (counselor) couldn't really help. So hubby couldn't or wouldn't help himself and I could not live that way anymore. My biggest mistake was being young and naive and thinking I could change him. Now, of course, I know it doesn't work like that. The only person anyone can change is themself.

Okay, I can agree with this post, but it does contradict your previous post where you said you didn't think people could change.