Your last serious relationship: Did it break your heart or did you find happiness?

[Johnny_Ray_Wilson]

Any breakup/marriage with a significant other is painful whenever it is happening. Given time to look back, once the the drama has passed, we may see things differently - either with feelings of remorse or vindication. You may see yourself and/or them in a different light.

Are you better off or worse because of that breakup?

 

[TexasWife25]

I feel better off. The last man I loved, before the hubby ,was a pussy. He didn't have a thought in his head that hadnt been approved by his friends. He was too concerned with appearances and the opinions of others. While I cried my eyes out when I broke with him, I walked away knowing one of the most important things in a man, is his ability to stand up for what he honestly believes in.

 

[atmas]

Years of longing and yearning. And life hasn't been the same.

 

[Farrah]

Any breakup/marriage with a significant other is painful whenever it is happening. Given time to look back, once the the drama has passed, we may see things differently - either with feelings of remorse or vindication. You may see yourself and/or them in a different light.

Are you better off or worse because of that breakup?

I'm 28 years old and a statistic of divorce. I'm not going to lie...sometimes I feel like an epic failure. But, with almost 2 years of separation behind me, I finally have some clarity and perspective. I am light years away from the person I was when my marriage fell apart and even further from that 23 year-old blushing bride. I like who I am today. I honestly don't think I could say that if I were still with my ex. There came a point and time when we began to be toxic to, and for, one another. I wish him all the best, and I no longer carry the pain and anger that once affected my mind, heart and spirit. I've stopped looking back, and I'm really, really happy with where I am in my life.

 

[Johnny_Ray_Wilson]

.........one of the most important things in a man, is his ability to stand up for what he honestly believes in.

^^^^THIS!^^^^^

My last serious SO said this to me. She caught me at the lowest point in my life, and she was right.

 

[Angellica1612]

I'm 28 years old and a statistic of divorce. I'm not going to lie...sometimes I feel like an epic failure. But, with almost 2 years of separation behind me, I finally have some clarity and perspective. I am light years away from the person I was when my marriage fell apart and even further from that 23 year-old blushing bride. I like who I am today. I honestly don't think I could say that if I was still with my ex. There came a point and time when we began to be toxic to, and for, one another. I wish him all the best, and I no longer carry the pain and anger that once affected my mind, heart and spirit. I've stopped looking back, and I'm really, really happy with where I am in my life.

It's awesome that you have so much clarity and contentment at your young age. Good for you!

 

[Farrah]

It's awesome that you have so much clarity and contentment at your young age. Good for you!

Thank you. That's very kind of you to say.

 

[dagdag]

Any breakup/marriage with a significant other is painful whenever it is happening. Given time to look back, once the the drama has passed, we may see things differently - either with feelings of remorse or vindication. You may see yourself and/or them in a different light.

Are you better off or worse because of that breakup?

My last serious relationship is still the current one.

However, my last breakup although painful was the right decision. I still do love her but marrying would have not been the right decision for either of us. It took a while to come to that decision but I believe it was the right call. I wish we could run simulations on what if scenarios in relationships to see what life would looked like as a fantasy... Perhaps in the next decade another apple or orange would come up with that one.

 

[Angellica1612]

My last breakup was very painful, and conflicted. I don't regret that I ended it, but I regret that it had to end. And now, at 48, it's beginning to feel more and more hopeless that I'll ever find love. On the other hand, I'm finally learning who I am.

 

[Angellica1612]

^^^^THIS!^^^^^

My last serious SO said this to me. She caught me at the lowest point in my life, and she was right.

So how do you feel about that break up?

 

[Angellica1612]

Thank you. That's very kind of you to say.

YVW

 

[Batch]

should have been a poll

 

[AK_DDDs]

In the beginning of what I think is a break up. 8 years together and a one year old kiddo. I have been unhappy for so long that I hope to find happiness again.... Only time will tell.

 

[Johnny_Ray_Wilson]

So how do you feel about that break up?

She is a good woman, without a doubt in my mind. I never asked her to marry me, though I should have. One of 2 loves in my past life who knew me better than I did.

I drank booze heavily off/on during that relationship, knowing she hated a drunk. She treated me like a king and I worshiped the ground she walked on. We stood by each other, no matter what our differences were in private. Making love with her was just so........beautiful.

There are some "blanks" in my memory because of my drinking then. I know I did some stupid shit, but I cannot take that back.

After we broke up, she went back to some asshole who hit her sometimes; something I have never done to a woman. Especially someone I cared so much about. I suppose the last straw was when I broke his nose and knocked out one of his teeth AFTER the break up when I seen a bruised eye she tried to hide from me.

I do not drink anymore. I stand up for what I honestly believe in, even if it hurts to do so.

 

[Johnny_Ray_Wilson]

should have been a poll

I gave that thought some thought.

 

[sticky_keyboard]

Are you better off or worse because of that breakup?

Yes, I am.

 

[Johnny_Ray_Wilson]

I am better off for myself. Despite her offering of coming back to me in our last phone conversation. I had become the man she wanted, but I did not do it for her. When I asked if she would consider moving away from Texas to be with me, she asked if I could promise her I would stop drinking forever. I have not drank in over 2 yrs. I told her I could not keep that promise to myself. She hung up the phone. That was 6 months ago. I am still sober. No magic words for her.

 

[Angellica1612]

I am better off for myself. Despite her offering of coming back to me in our last phone conversation. I had become the man she wanted, but I did not do it for her. When I asked if she would consider moving away from Texas to be with me, she asked if I could promise her I would stop drinking forever. I have not drank in over 2 yrs. I told her I could not keep that promise to myself. She hung up the phone. That was 6 months ago. I am still sober. No magic words for her.

I'm glad to hear you're still sober, it's a tough journey. From reading your posts, you sound like you're pretty stable, and a good man. Hang in there.

 

[CandiCame]

This is the most appropriate St. Valentine's Day thread ever. FUCK a bunch of that holiday, right? And fuck relationships in general. I've decided that I'm not moving back into that fucked up grey area ever again- or at least not for a very long time. I am so tired of getting dumped or walking away from someone that I became invested in. I've got to work on myself. I've got to make myself someone worth loving and respecting before I can try to pawn myself off on anyone else again- I guess that's how my past break-ups have affected me. Because everyone wants to fix me; so maybe I need to do that first and cut out the work.

 

[Angellica1612]

This is the most appropriate St. Valentine's Day thread ever. FUCK a bunch of that holiday, right? And fuck relationships in general. I've decided that I'm not moving back into that fucked up grey area ever again- or at least not for a very long time. I am so tired of getting dumped or walking away from someone that I became invested in. I've got to work on myself. I've got to make myself someone worth loving and respecting before I can try to pawn myself off on anyone else again- I guess that's how my past break-ups have affected me. Because everyone wants to fix me; so maybe I need to do that first and cut out the work.

I have the strongest urge to hug you ***hugs***

 

[LucyH]

About the same, I think.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

My MacBook Pro and I are still happy and growing strong in our committed relationship.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

This is the most appropriate St. Valentine's Day thread ever. FUCK a bunch of that holiday, right? And fuck relationships in general. I've decided that I'm not moving back into that fucked up grey area ever again- or at least not for a very long time. I am so tired of getting dumped or walking away from someone that I became invested in. I've got to work on myself. I've got to make myself someone worth loving and respecting before I can try to pawn myself off on anyone else again- I guess that's how my past break-ups have affected me. Because everyone wants to fix me; so maybe I need to do that first and cut out the work.

Walk away from the drugs. Until you do, happiness, a steady love, and a job, will be elusive things.


I've been down that road. Ended up living out of the Sally (Salvation Army)...

 

[Wife of Bath]

I am better off for myself. Despite her offering of coming back to me in our last phone conversation. I had become the man she wanted, but I did not do it for her. When I asked if she would consider moving away from Texas to be with me, she asked if I could promise her I would stop drinking forever. I have not drank in over 2 yrs. I told her I could not keep that promise to myself. She hung up the phone. That was 6 months ago. I am still sober. No magic words for her.

Good for you. I wish the (perpetually recovering) alcoholic in my life had the same fortitude.

 

[Johnny_Ray_Wilson]

My MacBook Pro and I are still happy and growing strong in our committed relationship.

A Big Mac attack?