M for F........ A gentle gay friend?

[minksy]

Hi all,

I'm taking a chance and hoping to find a kindly gay guy who may want to become a good friend. Someone non-scene and academic would be nice. I may have watched too much Will and Grace(one of my fave comedies), but wouldnt everyone like a Will Truman in their life.

Ideally, someone in or near Midlands in England would be best.

Btw, I consider my-self a good listener and never divulge anything told in confidence.

Have a great day
M

 

[Stella_Omega]

I think you can find your good friend. Your best bet is going out and meeting people, lots of people, until you find the people you can connect with-- men AND women, alike.

Thing about gay men, though? Mostly, gay guys want the same thing you probably want-- a man to share their life with. Or another men to have sex with. or lots of other men to have sex with.

Not so much a woman to be BFF with. Because, see, gay guys are still guys, with all the things that guys do -- plus, homosexual.

 

[Etoile]

You gotta seek friends based on common interests, not because they're gay. Otherwise it will feel all unnatural and weird. Make friends the usual way, someone's bound to be gay - many people are all over the world!

Also, going into it saying you want a Will type is kind of objectifying the guy. It's unlikely a friend would really enjoy filling that role - that you only want to be friends because he's gay.

 

[Seamen]

Hi all,

I'm taking a chance and hoping to find a kindly gay guy who may want to become a good friend. Someone non-scene and academic would be nice. I may have watched too much Will and Grace(one of my fave comedies), but wouldnt everyone like a Will Truman in their life.

Ideally, someone in or near Midlands in England would be best.

Btw, I consider my-self a good listener and never divulge anything told in confidence.

Have a great day
M

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING.

Seriously, THAT is your criteria? A GAY guy? I can't decide whether to be amused or offended. It's sexism, is what it is.

If you'd watch the early episodes, you'd discover that Grace didn't actually look for a gay guy; she was actually in love with Will at first.

Your Will doesn't have to be either gay or a guy.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Seamen, it is sexism.

It's funny to me-- this is how (some) women objectify gay men, turning them into sexless shopping companions for the benefit of women.

Meanwhile, (some) men objectify gay women by turning them into oversexed sluts who welcome a man into their bed with their girlfriends.

Objectifying any group of people can only be an act of ignorance. The question is, is that ignorance willful, or can it be rectified?

Wanna try to teach a horse to sing?

 

[Seamen]

More than ignorance, I think it is desire, that leads one to objectify someone. Maybe the OP is terribly lonely; maybe she tried to make friends, but just didn't fit in; maybe she tried to find a companion but discovered men would only use her desperation to get her into bed; in this scenario, a gay friend would be ideally suited for her, as a gay man would

- most likely be a social outcast as well

- not be interested in her merely for sex, and then abandon her the moment he gets his way

- (probably) be capable of forming a deep, mutually intimate, emotionally satisfying relationship

- (probably) know the ins and outs of popular fashion

If you think about it, the OP meant well; we all do want a Will in our lives. Now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't have said what I said. If you're not scared off already, and are reading this, I'm really sorry OP; I hope you do find your Will.

Discrimination is born out of ignorance; this isn't that at all. Sadly, not much can be done about that, really. Hate requires no reason or reason. You can't convince somebody not to hate.

 

[Safe_Bet]

More than ignorance, I think it is desire, that leads one to objectify someone. Maybe the OP is terribly lonely; maybe she tried to make friends, but just didn't fit in; maybe she tried to find a companion but discovered men would only use her desperation to get her into bed; in this scenario, a gay friend would be ideally suited for her, as a gay man would

- most likely be a social outcast as well

- not be interested in her merely for sex, and then abandon her the moment he gets his way

- (probably) be capable of forming a deep, mutually intimate, emotionally satisfying relationship

- (probably) know the ins and outs of popular fashion

If you think about it, the OP meant well; we all do want a Will in our lives. Now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't have said what I said. If you're not scared off already, and are reading this, I'm really sorry OP; I hope you do find your Will.

Discrimination is born out of ignorance; this isn't that at all. Sadly, not much can be done about that, really. Hate requires no reason or reason. You can't convince somebody not to hate.

Jesus, dude! Stereotype much???

 

[lustatopia]

Minksy, my dear, I'm a faggot, I'm a tenured professor at a major university with a book about to go to print which mentions this site in passing and I would be pleased to be make your acquaintance.

But first, please excuse me for a moment while I disinfect the yeast infection on your thread.


* * *

You know, all you pricks are fucking hypocrites.

I've read your pathetic fantasies and your idiotic posts for years now and if I didn't have a life I could search out a thousand posts from each of you that is so deafeningly stupid and outrageously ignorant as to make our young Minsky's post here look like a Walt Whitman poem in comparison.

And yet you semi-feral pack of total losers have the temerity to gang bash young Minksy on her 14 post.

Why?

Because you're small-minded, self-righteous dweebs who need to crush the spark of life out of everything that stirs without your dee-vine permission in order to justify your utterly meaningless existence spent staring into the light of a computer monitor with your ever-growing pot bellies flopping over the second hand card table you call your office.

Makes you feel superior?

You should be ashamed of yourselves, but I suspect you really aren't intelligent enough to understand over the years you have grown into vectors of hate projecting your own personal inadequacies upon whoever is new, fresh and clean like an oily filth and then vanquish them, flushed down the toilet like the huge turd you know your lives have become.

I watched you grow. I studied you. I know you.

You hate yourselves, but you're to piss-weak to put that hate into the mirror, so it comes here looking for young victims. A kind of rhetorical pedophilia. Rape the hope and fantasies of some new member in a hot gang bang of self-loathing directed outward. And then you can insert your buttplugs, strap on the Depends pad and fall asleep in the basement thumbsucking until tomorrow. Repeat cycle.

Meanwhile, (some) men objectify gay women by turning them into oversexed sluts who welcome a man into their bed with their girlfriends.

Stella, you snarky little asexual ferret. Your whole pathetically amateurish oeuvre is based upon the sexual objectification of gay women, you fucking moron. It's like you're a zombie moonwalking, you are completely lacking in conscious awareness.

I don't know what I find more disgusting here. There is so much to vomit over.

Is it the hypocrisy?

Is the the bully gang rape of a noobie to assert your superiority?

Is in the insanely morbid level of lack of self-awareness and shame?

Or is it the fact that I go away for a few months on a speaking tour and when I return I find the same slow-witted self-loathing slabs of comatose flesh warming the same seats on the carousel going around and around and around and around.... Imagine the huge fat asses growing from your chins and the Vitamin D deficiency, but don't rush outside the shock of sunlight would kill you like mildew.

Your best bet is going out and meeting people, lots of people

Excuse me while I go wash my face with bleach. Your stench is seeping out of my monitor.

 

[Etoile]

I'd like to take you seriously, lustatopia, but I have no respect for someone who insults others on the basis of their presumed appearance. You make some valid points, rather colorfully, but the references to "growing pot bellies" and Vitamin D deficiency, etc take all the teeth out of it. By relying primarily on insults and only briefly addressing actual comments made by the people you're insulting, you are no better than those you decry.

By the way, what was your name before? If you've watched people here over the years, and watched them grow, I assume you must have been here longer than the 20 months your join date implies.

 

[Safe_Bet]

@ Minksy:

Watch out for Lustiphobia! First of all, he is NOT gay, he's a hedonistic bisexual. Secondly, if you believe any of his crap about being a tenured professor, him being out on a "speaking tour", etc. you are as dilusional as he is. Lastly, I believe that he uses multiple Alts (like PricelessT) to troll.

Bottom line: he IS the pot bellied dweeb in his mama's basement who is trying to flim flam you into being his "friend".

Just beware.

 

[Seamen]

Are you trying to boast that you're a tenured professor? Is that a boast, really? You imply that others here spend way too much time online - as opposed to you doing what? Are you like Indiana Jones or something?

Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, be how mediocre it may. That is why we are all here - to share our pointless perspectives. Now you have no authority to question that. If you don't like it, then log off and return to your supposedly adventurous lifestyle. You can't hurt anybody with your words. You should collect your ideas and pile them up in a heap on your first hand table; nobody wants them here.

Walt Whitman? That's the poet you could think of? You think quoting Orwell on your signature line here at Lit makes you an intellectual? You might be a tenured professor, but you have the manners of an untenured professor, let me tell you that.

 

[Stella_Omega]

None of that even made any sense.

Which doesn't surprise me in the least.

 

[Chrissi]

I don't know whether to have some popcorn or cry. But since I don't really like people at their base, I'll do neither and move along to the next thread.

As to Minsky, your post doesn't really bother me. But you are sorta looking at this through the wrong end of the telescope. Friends happen, be open to all applicants, whoever they may be.

I suppose I have/had a Grace in my life. We even tried sex once, many years ago. Emphasis on tried-and those memories best left in the "repressed heterosexual reaches of my mind." She is married now to a great guy and has a couple of children. Although we move in different circles we are still on the Christmas card list and still do the occasional couples dinner every great once in a while so to keep current.

Good luck on finding a Will, but don't fixate on the idea.

Topher