Local Kink Communities... what's your experience been like?

[Jaded_One]

I am beginning to take some tentative steps into exploring my area's kink community. While I may throw myself headlong into new things by myself or with people I trust, I am much more hesitant when it comes to exposing myself (no pun intended) publicly.

So, I'm taking some first steps by initiating contact with a few people in the community to get to know them and to get a feel for the group.

I'd love to hear other's first encounters with their groups.

 

[Literotti]

Re: Local Kink Communities...what's your experience been like?

I have been involved with my local kink community for over 10 years. I live in a small city just outside of a major US city. People usually first meet at munch, which is held once or twice a month in a public place (usually a resturant or coffee shop) that has a private room for parties. Fetishwear is usually not recommended for these initial meetings, as they are generally held in resturants that have a family venue. The people are usually very friendly and open, and the numbers range from a few all the way up to twenty or so. I have had very good experiences with the people in this community. Although I cannot speak for other area of the country, munches and similar get togethers are pretty much the same in different cities.

Good luck and hope you make many friends!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I would suggest that you join Fetlife (if you haven't already) and check with some people who live in your area about the various groups in the UNY area. I may have one contact in that area (I'm not sure if her area is actually considered upstate) who would talk to you about her experiences if you don't find the right contacts.

 

[Jaded_One]

I would suggest that you join Fetlife (if you haven't already) and check with some people who live in your area about the various groups in the UNY area. I may have one contact in that area (I'm not sure if her area is actually considered upstate) who would talk to you about her experiences if you don't find the right contacts.

Thanks, I did join Fetlife which is where I made some contacts... but other than a come to a munch, not really getting a feel for the group. Wisdom dictates that there are probably pluses and minuses to every group, but I guess that since this feels more persona,l I'd like a little more information going in.

It's hard to put into words what exactly I want to know before I expose myself. I guess it's not quite like a book club that if you don't mesh with the personalities, you can find another group. And there's something about walking into a room full of people who will already know more about me than most other people and yet are all strangers that I find... unsettling. Does that make sense?

 

[BiBunny]

I did the munch thing a few times. The best reaction I got was "meh." The worst was "never again." I don't want to discourage you, though. The local group where I live is rather incestuous; I think I was the only one there who wasn't fucking a member of the group. I've also since discovered that the BDSM "scene" isn't for me. Plus, I'm kind of misanthropic, so I'm sure you'll have better luck than I did, LOL.

 

[Jaded_One]

I did the munch thing a few times. The best reaction I got was "meh." The worst was "never again." I don't want to discourage you, though. The local group where I live is rather incestuous; I think I was the only one there who wasn't fucking a member of the group. I've also since discovered that the BDSM "scene" isn't for me. Plus, I'm kind of misanthropic, so I'm sure you'll have better luck than I did, LOL.

Lol... I don't know Bunny, I think I am actually very much the same. I appreciate your honest input.

 

[FurryFury]

My first encounter was at a local restaurant. I felt relieved to be able to talk somewhat openly with people who were also kinky.

Next was a demo and play party.

I don't play in public. I only play with my husband but it was interesting to me anyway.

I'm also not a voyeur but there were certain things I was interested in learning about it. I got some of that done that night.

Now I didn't go looking to hook up with anyone or publicly play so my goals may have been different from most.

I did learn a bit more about electrical, resistance play, interrogation (didn't expect or like that one), violet wands, various implements and fire cupping.

My schedule doesn't allow me to go often. My husband isn't that interested in going either though he will, for me.

I've been to quite a few more munches and several more demos, sometimes with my much more exhibitionist buddies. I've even met some lovely kinky people from Lit.

FF

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thanks, I did join Fetlife which is where I made some contacts... but other than a come to a munch, not really getting a feel for the group. Wisdom dictates that there are probably pluses and minuses to every group, but I guess that since this feels more persona,l I'd like a little more information going in.

It's hard to put into words what exactly I want to know before I expose myself. I guess it's not quite like a book club that if you don't mesh with the personalities, you can find another group. And there's something about walking into a room full of people who will already know more about me than most other people and yet are all strangers that I find... unsettling. Does that make sense?

That's why you go to the munches. You have to meet face-to-face a bit.

 

[switchbitch]

I have had very positive experience with Kink communities, I have been indulging in kink for a very long time. After a rather extreme career change that put me firmly in the public eye I had to stop going to kink functions and I miss them very much. Fortunately Literotica has helped fill the gap a little. While I still play privately 24/7 in my own rather strange dynamic I do miss the social side of kink communities face to face and it is this that Literotica has helped with to a certain extent.The open communication and discussion with a communityof if not totally like-minded at least understanding souls is a wonderful thing. There are always going to be those that you do not agree with and always going to be those who do not agree with you but overall I have found the kink community to be a very accepting bunch.I do wish you well in your foray into the community and I hope you find some that enrich your life. I know I have.

 

[HottieMama]

I am hesitant to post here because my experience has been vastly different than most of those above me. The kink community that I "came out" in was great. (Phila, PA Leather community.) It was warm, welcoming, and willing to "teach and guide." After I left Phila, I dropped out of the public scene for a while due to my relationship at that time and did not even attempt to get re involved until I moved here to Wichita KS. There are three active groups here in Wichita. I have been a member of them all at one time or another and left them all for various reasons ranging from the collective experience level of the group being much below mine, to in-fighting and politics, and at worst, due to the fact that one of our local groups freely allows a convicted sex offender to attend play parties. I have seen some horrendous shit go on in the "community" here, and I have seen people treated in a way that I wouldn't treat my worst enemy. It has completely soured my opinion of real-time kink groups and any type of public play.

If and when you do get involved with your local group/groups, do so with open ears. Listen to what is going on around you. Look at how members are treated both to their face and behind their back. Make sure, 100%, that behavior is something you want to be involved in.

 

[FurryFury]

Google is your friend . . .

What are munches? Where do I find a kink community near me?

 

[bergland]

I've been to quite a few more munches and several more demos, sometimes with my much more exhibitionist buddies. I've even met some lovely kinky people from Lit.

 

[Jaded_One]

I am hesitant to post here because my experience has been vastly different than most of those above me. The kink community that I "came out" in was great. (Phila, PA Leather community.) It was warm, welcoming, and willing to "teach and guide." After I left Phila, I dropped out of the public scene for a while due to my relationship at that time and did not even attempt to get re involved until I moved here to Wichita KS. There are three active groups here in Wichita. I have been a member of them all at one time or another and left them all for various reasons ranging from the collective experience level of the group being much below mine, to in-fighting and politics, and at worst, due to the fact that one of our local groups freely allows a convicted sex offender to attend play parties. I have seen some horrendous shit go on in the "community" here, and I have seen people treated in a way that I wouldn't treat my worst enemy. It has completely soured my opinion of real-time kink groups and any type of public play.

If and when you do get involved with your local group/groups, do so with open ears. Listen to what is going on around you. Look at how members are treated both to their face and behind their back. Make sure, 100%, that behavior is something you want to be involved in.

Thank you for your honest feedback! In a way, it almost sounds like a crap shoot. Fairly evenly mixed between good and not so good experiences.

 

[Netzach]

People being people it's going to vary a lot.
My experiences have been great to meh to awful, but taken as a whole, I think that meeting people in real face time has been very valuable.

 

[voltigeur]

I didn't have positive experiences (not particularly negative either) but like an earlier poster I had a different purpose for being there. At the time I was between girl friends and my ex had Dommed me and I was looking for someone who I could play that way again.

This group was all about public play and not really into dating. Most all of the people were paired up and I really didn't want to start expolring my darkest fantasies when I didn't know most of the people there.

My advise would to be clear about why you are there.