Women- what most attracts you to a man?

[MonaLittle]

and some not-quite-so-nice?

You betchya!

Side note: After 6 years, I've finally made 2000 posts!!

 

[SimplyaSub]

Sense of humor, the ability to cook, and a high sex drive.

 

[John Doe]

i find it quite odd how your poll focuses on the physical

suppose 'other' might cover the things women tend to find most attractive but the very nature of your options is ... well ... strange

confidence, smile, the ability to communicate well with their eyes, sense of humour, smelling great, showing respect for other people without making themselves a doormat, intellect, kindness, honesty, curiosity - loads of stuff that come way before how big a wallet or cock a man has. *disgusted emote*

and someone who has a way with words...

Humor, intelligence , kindness, confidence without arrogance.Appearance is way down on the list if you're talking about real attraction, and not just scratching a physical itch.

Women are like snowflakes.

Silly options, legitimate question.

Intelligence, kindness and compassion, fun sense of humor - ability to pun creatively is a definite plus - but no interest in humor at someone else's expense. The ability to see himself clearly coupled with the willingness to fix what he sees is less desirable - to have the first without the second is lazy and disingenuous. Although matching values are important, it depends on what they are - politics are less important than, say, attitudes about education and money, for example. Looks are so low down the scale they almost don't matter.

Funny, I always look at hands as well, and am drawn to long, thin fingers. And eyes that sparkle. But that is the first spark, not the continued attraction that makes me want to get to know the man.

Sense of humor
Intelligent
Similar beliefs (living a kind life)
Dominant personality (quietly, not the chest-pounding type)
Older (50's)
Financially secure

These are common, sound-good answers. Be more specific.

There's really no single factor- I think attraction for women can be a little more complicated and intangible than it is for men.

That's a sexist attitude.

 

[what_she_wants]

definitely a sense of humor... if you can make me laugh it's pretty much a given we'll get along nicely, a good listener, someone who knows what he wants to do in life is a bonus, a great smile, someone who tell you what their thinking with a glance, and who is honest. oh, and someone who can appreciate fine food and beverages! yes, those kind...

 

[NewEnglandGirl]

These are common, sound-good answers. Be more specific.

Actually, I was thinking about this question at work today. I realized that I'd left two important things out of my answer. One, that he respect me and see me as an equal, and two, that he respect his health and take care of his body. Not in a muscle man sort of way, but good nutrition, good hygiene (as WQ mentioned), and moderate exercise. I don't want to be a widow because the man I loved allowed his body to fall apart; obviously accidents can't be helped but many diseases and conditions are self-caused. And yeah, the going to bed without brushing his teeth thing... btdt. Not even remotely sexy. *shudder*

Now, to your question. For most folks, I suspect that a person with an intelligence we found equal to ours is the most desirable, or perhaps someone we find slightly smarter than ourselves... I know that "Damn, he is sooo smart!" realization can make me a little weak kneed. A man who not just encourages me to think about issues but actually challenges me to is a huge turn on. Widen my knowledge base, make me rethink my positions, broaden my window on the world... but do it with an attitude of sharing rather than condescension... because that takes you back to, respect me and see me as an equal, as I do for you.

Sense of humor is even more individualistic. For me, to be specific? I don't like a lot of vulgarity or slapstick, for the most part, although Monty Python and early Mel Brooks movies were notable exceptions in the slapstick department. I prefer subtle humor, humor that might make me think... PDQ Bach comes to mind. Again, the make my mind work concept.

Specific enough?

 

[HAL_9000]

Sense of humor, the ability to cook, and a high sex drive.

Shut up and bend over. Later I'll grill you a ribeye.

 

[sunandshadow]

It's interesting to me that so many people voted for similar beliefs. That's important for an actual relationship, but I can't see how it could seem hot/initially attract you to someone. But then, I voted for good looks (specifically long hair and a pretty face) so I guess I have to admit to being shallow.

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

first of all it's not my job to support your arguement.. I asked YOU to give ME examples..

And I did. Repeatedly. Now that I've given you actual links you'll say I need to help you read them, in order to support my argument. Then you'll say I need to help you comprehend the information, too.

that's how debate works...one side makes an arguement counters it with evidentiary support and the other side refutes it ideally using the same means

And I did just that. Three times.

and according to your first article it's not even the women bitching about being fat..it's the men bitching about the women being fat

Like I said, I need to help you comprehend.

the second is from a forum.. fer fucks sake, a forum for autism and aspergers.. that's reaching.. if we were using forums as substantial proof.. we would have to conclude that the world is populated by hot bisexual 18 year olds, and that Cade really has a lot of friends

So you're saying that wasn't a woman complaining about being rejected for being fat?

Really?

so in case it still doesnt qualify as women bitching about weight, it's men.. and in the second.. well, you do have a qunatative arguement.. but to say it's reaching for evidence of your massive theory of women bitching is a huge stretch

You'll make up anything to weasel out of admitting you are utterly clueless.

In this case you are lying right through your teeth.

any time I level any sort of criticism about something a man does you label it as misandry and man hating.. you've done it multiple times

That's all you ever do, bitch about men. Almost ALL of your threads are about men... except, as you admitted, one Republican woman. Because she was a Republican.

You even trivialize the murder of male babies and try to redirect the conversation over to how those poor Spartan women were mothers in Sparta (instead of fathers which in your universe is probably possible).

yet somehow you're shocked that your constant whining and bleating about women elicits a negative response

Yet women who complain always get praise and defense here. I'm the only person on Lit who calls women on their whiny bullshit.

You on the other hand defend the murder of male babies on account that women "were stuck with the role of being mothers".

as for my antecdotes refuting reality.. once again, I must point out untill you brought up that autism forum you had yet to bring up a single anecdotal or substantiative

I did bring up evidence. You simply lack any reading skills. Like when you claimed the first article was not about women bitching about men not dating fat women.

as for the last post.. sheesh man.. I didnt say the ONLY way people hook up is due to agressive men.. I was merely pointing out that we're still in a society that values agressive men over agressive women

http://www.datexpectations.com/dating/comments/do-men-want-women-to-make-the-first-move/2007-01-18/

Doesn't matter what I post though, you'll always make up new excuses to dismiss it.

 

[firenzi]

That's a sexist attitude.

Maybe, although I'm not sure why seeing differences between men and women is sexist. I'm not saying one is better than the other- it seems to me that men are either attracted to a woman or they aren't, and they don't spend much time analyzing why or how.

 

[badbabysitter]

And I did. Repeatedly. Now that I've given you actual links you'll say I need to help you read them, in order to support my argument. Then you'll say I need to help you comprehend the information, too.


And I did just that. Three times.


Like I said, I need to help you comprehend.


So you're saying that wasn't a woman complaining about being rejected for being fat?

Really?


You'll make up anything to weasel out of admitting you are utterly clueless.

In this case you are lying right through your teeth.


That's all you ever do, bitch about men. Almost ALL of your threads are about men... except, as you admitted, one Republican woman. Because she was a Republican.

You even trivialize the murder of male babies and try to redirect the conversation over to how those poor Spartan women were mothers in Sparta (instead of fathers which in your universe is probably possible).


Yet women who complain always get praise and defense here. I'm the only person on Lit who calls women on their whiny bullshit.

You on the other hand defend the murder of male babies on account that women "were stuck with the role of being mothers".


I did bring up evidence. You simply lack any reading skills. Like when you claimed the first article was not about women bitching about men not dating fat women.


http://www.datexpectations.com/dating/comments/do-men-want-women-to-make-the-first-move/2007-01-18/

Doesn't matter what I post though, you'll always make up new excuses to dismiss it.

You did not give me any citings untill you brought up the autism forum .. what you did bring up repeatedly were claims.. claims are much different then actual evidence

I could claim to be the Queen of Ireland , and that hundreds of people also feel that I'm the Irish Queen too.. untill you actually follow through on those claims.. it's conjecture

as for three times.. yes.. you claimed there were tonnes of women several times.. sadly.. untill the aspergers/autism forum.. you actually didnt support any of your multiple claims.. hence the point still stands

as for the next spiel.. are you also denying your first article was about men bitching about fat women? since you promoted it as an example of your arguement

I'm not weaseling out of it.. does the article not go on about men not being attractive to plus sized women.. a yes or no answer would be awesome

please show me how that article isnt about men not finding overweight attractive.. then you can call me a liar... I could cut and paste it if you need reminding

as for the next.. we've been over this.. when I make threads about shitty things people do, I do it about the shitty things they do...

you on the other hand like to write about the shitty thing peopl;e do.. but make a damn strong point of emphasizng their gender foremost

I could literally give dozens of examples of you doing so

personally I would love you to do the same.. show me how may threads I have bitching directly about men, and then lets compare how many you have directly bitching about women

I wonder what the results would be like....hmmmmm

as for the redirection of the Spartan thing.. if anything I was going easy on you.. I decided not to bring more historical accuracy into this to see how far you would go on this tirade.. classically you decided to blame women for something which is completely false and documented as being done so by men.. kudos to you

and dont give me the reading comprehension blather.. saying that tonnes of women say something and actually showing it are two different things

one is a claim.. the other is something substantiated.. you can't show that you substantiated something BEFORE you actually did so.. time travel is not legitimate form of debate

as for your link.. seriously? a personals advice tidbit?.. are you going to break out TigerBeat for a scientific analysis of demographics of teen girls?

and don't give me that " dismissing it " bull shit.. I could point out a certain thread wherin you STILL haven't responded something presented to you no matter how many times I do so

 

[renard_ruse]

It's interesting to me that so many people voted for similar beliefs. That's important for an actual relationship, but I can't see how it could seem hot/initially attract you to someone...

The question is not intended just as initial attraction.

 

[badbabysitter]

The question is not intended just as initial attraction.

then if its not initial attraction, almost all your other posts fall flat

anyone with a brain in their head is not going to stick in a relationship because of a physical feature

 

[renard_ruse]

So, its really not about getting into a dude's wallet? Either that or the babes on here are lying, or they are gay guys pretending to be babes?

 

[badbabysitter]

So, its really not about getting into a dude's wallet? Either that or the babes on here are lying, or they are gay guys pretending to be babes?

For the past 2 and half years , I've made more money then my significant other.. if anything, he's thrilled I'm making lots of ca*****

 

[renard_ruse]

then if its not initial attraction, almost all your other posts fall flat

anyone with a brain in their head is not going to stick in a relationship because of a physical feature

Its about attraction in general. Its at any point the poll respondant wants to make it.

 

[renard_ruse]

For the past 2 and half years , I've made more money then my significant other.. if anything, he's thrilled I'm making lots of ca*****

What is ca*****?

 

[badbabysitter]

What is ca*****?

weird.. i said cash-ola

how did it get censored?

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

You did not give me any citings untill you brought up the autism forum .. what you did bring up repeatedly were claims.. claims are much different then actual evidence

Wow, you've done everything but convince yourself that it's July right now and the sun revolves around the Earth. Your delusions are far too severe for me to keep chasing around.

I could claim to be the Queen of Ireland , and that hundreds of people also feel that I'm the Irish Queen too..

You've just about done that already.

as for the next.. we've been over this.. when I make threads about shitty things people do, I do it about the shitty things they do...

But you only complain about MEN. Except in the case of one woman, and even you admitted it was only because she was a Republican.

you on the other hand like to write about the shitty thing peopl;e do.. but make a damn strong point of emphasizng their gender foremost

I'm up front about it.

Whenever you are called out on your persistent habit of showing only MEN who do bad things, you duck dodge and evade.

And you STILL defended the murder of male babies on account that women "were stuck with the role of being mothers".

personally I would love you to do the same.. show me how may threads I have bitching directly about men, and then lets compare how many you have directly bitching about women

This in no way invalidates my argument that women who bitch about men get almost no flak. Or that I am the only one who does criticize those women. YOU sure as hell never do. You never criticize women.. well, except one. Because she was a Republican.

as for the redirection of the Spartan thing.. if anything I was going easy on you.. I decided not to bring more historical accuracy into this to see how far you would go on this tirade.. classically you decided to blame women for something which is completely false and documented as being done so by men.. kudos to you

You failed to show where anyone but women got thrown off of cliffs for being "unfit". You went so easy on me that you bitch slapped yourself/

and dont give me the reading comprehension blather.. saying that tonnes of women say something and actually showing it are two different things

I showed it. But you still have poor reading skills.

as for your link.. seriously? a personals advice tidbit?.. are you going to break out TigerBeat for a scientific analysis of demographics of teen girls?

See? I told you that you would simply make up some new spin doctoring.

and don't give me that " dismissing it " bull shit.. I could point out a certain thread wherin you STILL haven't responded something presented to you no matter how many times I do so

I've pointed out your habit of posting only threads that pertain to males who do bad things. You keep fleeing in fear from me when I pound you relentlessly about that.

 

[sunandshadow]

The question is not intended just as initial attraction.

Impossible to pick one then. For both women and men, mate selection involves balancing a lot of factors. But still, if I don't find a guy's face and hair attractive there's no chance there will be a relationship; if he's not pretty he's in my friend zone, and that's a permanent and instinctive thing, not a conscious decision on my part.

 

[sunandshadow]

So, its really not about getting into a dude's wallet? Either that or the babes on here are lying, or they are gay guys pretending to be babes?

Wallet isn't the _first_ factor. I've heard women talk about men's money, and when they do they are in the state of mind of being attracted to more than one guy. Money is used as a secondary factor to decide between multiple candidates who are already acceptable in more important areas.

 

[badbabysitter]

Wow, you've done everything but convince yourself that it's July right now and the sun revolves around the Earth. Your delusions are far too severe for me to keep chasing around.


You've just about done that already.


But you only complain about MEN. Except in the case of one woman, and even you admitted it was only because she was a Republican.


I'm up front about it.

Whenever you are called out on your persistent habit of showing only MEN who do bad things, you duck dodge and evade.

And you STILL defended the murder of male babies on account that women "were stuck with the role of being mothers".


This in no way invalidates my argument that women who bitch about men get almost no flak. Or that I am the only one who does criticize those women. YOU sure as hell never do. You never criticize women.. well, except one. Because she was a Republican.


You failed to show where anyone but women got thrown off of cliffs for being "unfit". You went so easy on me that you bitch slapped yourself/


I showed it. But you still have poor reading skills.


See? I told you that you would simply make up some new spin doctoring.


I've pointed out your habit of posting only threads that pertain to males who do bad things. You keep fleeing in fear from me when I pound you relentlessly about that.

I am not making shit up.. it was your job to back up your claims.. you did not.. it's as simple as that

as for my complaining soley about men.. complete falsehood... please check out say my last.. 20 threads and get back to me if they are all about men... if they are, I'll accept your arguement.. if they're not, you're full of shit

If you're not willing to do this.. it either shows a lack of confidence in your position.. or what's probably closer to the truth.. that it simply does not match reality

go on, I double dare you


I'm not looking to invalidate your arguement that in some situations women get the upper hand, I've even agreed with you in the past.. what it will invalidate are your outrageous claims that I only post negative things about men.. plus I can show you links in which I have directly criticized women.. the difference being that I don't criticize them because they ARE women.... that's your job

actually.. I didnt bitch slap myself by having you having a limited grasp of Spartan culture... if I'm wrong , show me.. but since I'm not.. you're full of shit

once again, you showed your " proof" AFTER being called on the carpet to do so.. and it was a thread in an autism/aspergers forum... I can not stress to you enough that you cannot say you showed proof AFTER you've claimed it... it's time tralvel.. you have to show it BEFORE.. that's kind of the point of saying you can back the claims you said already existed

and you STILL havent responded to that thread.. so you're ignoring it and dismissing it... if I'm fleeing in fear why have you never been able to respond to what I kept showing you over and over again?

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

I am not making shit up.. it was your job to back up your claims.. you did not.. it's as simple as that

I backed up my claims. And it is as SIMPLE as that. Not simple as in simple-minded like you, of course.

as for my complaining soley about men.. complete falsehood... please check out say my last.. 20 threads and get back to me if they are all about men... if they are, I'll accept your arguement.. if they're not, you're full of shit

It's not my job to look up your posts and show that you criticized a bunch of women for their bad deeds. It's up to you to show it.

I'm not looking to invalidate your arguement that in some situations women get the upper hand, I've even agreed with you in the past.. what it will invalidate are your outrageous claims that I only post negative things about men.. plus I can show you links in which I have directly criticized women.. the difference being that I don't criticize them because they ARE women.... that's your job

No you criticized ONE woman. Because she's a Republican.

The rest of your whining has been all about MEN.

actually.. I didnt bitch slap myself by having you having a limited grasp of Spartan culture... if I'm wrong , show me.. but since I'm not.. you're full of shit

You're the one who claimed Spartans threw baby girls off the mountaintops alongside baby boys, then declined to show evidence when I challenged you. Not even a single link. You're so full of shit your skin is browning.

once again, you showed your " proof" AFTER being called on the carpet to do so.. and it was a thread in an autism/aspergers forum... I can not stress to you enough that you cannot say you showed proof AFTER you've claimed it... it's time tralvel.. you have to show it BEFORE.. that's kind of the point of saying you can back the claims you said already existed

You're retarded and your memory of what happened is totally fucked. I showed proof and you just made up phoney reasons to keep ducking and dodging.

and you STILL havent responded to that thread.. so you're ignoring it and dismissing it... if I'm fleeing in fear why have you never been able to respond to what I kept showing you over and over again?

Showing me what? Your inane feminazi ramblings?

 

[badbabysitter]

I backed up my claims. And it is as SIMPLE as that. Not simple as in simple-minded like you, of course.


It's not my job to look up your posts and show that you criticized a bunch of women for their bad deeds. It's up to you to show it.


No you criticized ONE woman. Because she's a Republican.

The rest of your whining has been all about MEN.


You're the one who claimed Spartans threw baby girls off the mountaintops alongside baby boys, then declined to show evidence when I challenged you. Not even a single link. You're so full of shit your skin is browning.


You're retarded and your memory of what happened is totally fucked. I showed proof and you just made up phoney reasons to keep ducking and dodging.


Showing me what? Your inane feminazi ramblings?

Your claims of " tonnes" of women bitching about how men dont want them because they're plus size, or bitching about how they can't get men because they are plus size.. consisted of the following"


an article that discussed a study that concluded men werent attracted to overweight women...............thusly it wasn't women bitching ; it was men

an aspergers/autism forum.. where people got into a debate over the issue.. and to say there was anything resembling your conclusion is speculative at best

and a dating tips advice about women showing initiative or not.... which has nothing to do with them being plus size or their bitching thereof


1 out of 3 is not TONNES

thusly I'm STILL waiting for your " tonnes" to appear


and yes it is your job to look through my threads.. you made the accusation... and I'll call you on it

if you dont , it suggests one of the following

A... you are too stupid to use the search function

B... you would rather live in denial

C... or you realize that your assertion is complete bullshit and are too much of a chickenshit to do so

really.. so that article I posted about a woman who literally kept a slave in her home was about Michelle Bachmann.. shit, i didnt realize she lived in Vancouver.. that may end up disqualifying her run for presidency

or the article about Nikki haley making bullshit claims.. I guess Nikki Haley is just a really convincing crossdresser that's managed to fool the GOP into believing he's a woman

and I guess Jennifer Delaney.. is actually Johnifer Delaney

and the Dougherty family were two brothers and another brother with a vagina and breasts

and that's just from the first page

as for the Spartans I gave you evidence.. you didnt even know about their traditions of bathing children in wine untill I told you

"This control of your life started immediately at birth. From the moment a Spartan child was born, they were tested to make sure they embodied the image of a Spartan warrior. Immediately after birth, a Spartan child was dipped into a bath of wine to test its strength and fortitude. The Spartans believed that a weak child bathed in wine would convulse and die (Fant and Lefkowitz, 2005). If the child passed this particular test they were then taken by the father before a group of elders. If the Elders found the child deficient in any way (Frail looking, Deformed etc…) then the child was left on the sides of Mount Taygetos to die (Harley, 1934)."

The Spartan people were a far more open minded class. They realized that “regardless of gender all Spartiates had an obligation to serve the militaristic end of Sparta.” (Gaughan) Therefore, this facilitated greater freedom and financial independence in the women of Sparta. Spartan women were represented by the goddess Artemis whon was the “God of the hunt and protector of animals, women, girls, youth, and had a connection with adolescence and childbirth” (Who were the Amazons?). They were strong women who were “taught to read, write and protect themselves” (The Women of Sparta). They were trained in athletic events such as the “javelin, discus, foot races and arranged battles” (Women of Sparta) in the hopes that they would “strengthen their bodies for healthy childbirth” (Defelice). Marriage was non-ceremonial to these women. At age eighteen, they were assigned to a husband that would come and abduct them in the night form their family home. Marriages in Sparta boiled down to little more that procreation. Men did not live with their wives in Sparta. In Fact, they could have many wives. "


should I go on.....?

as for the last " innane ramblings".. maybe it's your woman hating cowardice showing through instead?

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

Y

an article that discussed a study that concluded men werent attracted to overweight women...............thusly it wasn't women bitching ; it was men



thusly I'm STILL waiting for your " tonnes" to appear

No one likes the fat fucks.....no one grows up imagining their prince charming or princess in the castle is an obese fuck who can't barely breath much less able to wash their own ass.

As far as Tonnes, her 170 lb ass is asleep....I gotta find a shock collar that wont let her eat anymore baconators.

Anyhow none of this matters, money, fame, even looks to an extent. Women want a guy who is fun. Don't get me wrong all those things help but if you can talk to her in a way that is fun you don't have to be a rich comedian with the looks of brad pit in fight club and you can still get laid pretty regularly. Hell you can be a scared up, nutty retired vet and she will bend over backwards for you if you keep her life fun and interesting.

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

No one likes the fat fucks.....

That's no more true than badbabysitter's whacked out assertions.

Women are by nature hypergamic. It's in their genes.

It's not entirely about money; it's about their desire for a man to provide for them, whether it's physical protection or the good things in life.

The thing that is hurting women nowadays is this economy is forcing many of them to stand on their own and provide their own protection or well being. Due to women's hypergamic nature that means they will pretty much stop wanting men. This is in fact EXACTLY what is happening in Japan and Germany.

It is rare that a woman looks beyond her hypergamic urges when looking for a mate. A woman who seeks out a LATERAL relationship is almost, but not entirely impossible, to find.