Race Play

[yes_master]

I am a sub blk male who enjoys being dominated and humiliated by aggressive white dudes. One thing that turns me on is when my partners and I engage in racial fantasy. However I often get alot of slack from people challenging me on my this racist issue, debating why I would ever give a white person the authority to devalue or dehumanize me racially to quench a sexual desire. Violence/racism & sexism will always exisist in our world. But when topics such as these emerge in the BDSM community people can be harsh.
I trust myself and my partners and always act responsible. I know im not the only one.
I would love to hear anyones personal experience or advice on the subject.

 

[BiBunny]

I wouldn't worry too much about what other people think of it, honestly. Some of us just have no interest in letting political or other outside influences into our bedrooms. If you're happy and your partner's happy, screw the other people.

There are plenty of people who enjoy the reverse dynamic as well, BTW.

 

[HottieMama]

Like Bunny said, I wouldn't worry about it all too much.

My ex-Domme was very into "race play." (She's black, I'm white.) It was NEVER something I could get into. I tried, for her, but I just couldn't say certain things that she liked to hear at times. I can't role-play to that degree, and I can't fake degradation where there is none for me.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

The most you should worry about other people's opinion is remembering who you can talk about what around. As far as you and your partner are concerned, it's really no one else's business. There shouldn't be a debate. It gets you off. So what. I get off on being ordered around by my boyfriend. I don't think that makes me sexist against myself. And if he was the kind of guy who treated me that way all day, I'd break up with him. After beating him with a O+ shaped stick.

If your partner is racially degrading you, but everyone's clear it's for the purposes of kink and sex, I really don't see the problem. It's really not that difficult to delineate between "sex life" and "real life". People are just oversensitive on issues like racism and sexism, so they don't stop and think about it.

Of course, that doesn't mean you should go flaunting your preferences because you have a right to them. I don't think it's very polite to intentionally antagonize people with things you know will upset them. That just makes you a troll.

 

[Stella_Omega]

it's a tough one. A lot of raw damage still there for so many people.

But-- you need what you need.

Im writing a gay pet play story with a black bottom and white top right now. It's really kinda scary, trying to get it right, and I keep on figuring that the black guy is really the dominant-- even though he bottoms by preference.

 

[YourCaptor]

Hey I hope you don't mind me going a little off topic but I've been pondering this one for some time.

Internalized racism, does it play a role in race play?

So basically internalized racism = the victim of racism using racism against their own, or them self.

For example, preferring whiter people, getting involved in crime, doing bad in school, generally seeing one self as inferior. It does not necessarily have to be a concision act.

 

[Stella_Omega]

How does getting bad grades imply that someone wants to be a bottom sexually?

 

[bhndblueyes88]

How does getting bad grades imply that someone wants to be a bottom sexually?

I think he means to wonder if someone who is racist against themselves (something that can cause things like poor grades) also causes things like wanting to sub/bottom specifically in a scenario like race play. Does internal racism lead to wanting race play?

It is an interesting question in general, even without race. On some level, do some pyls feel inferior to the type of people they choose as their PYLs, and choose PYLs based on that feeling? I'm talking on some level that the don't--maybe even can't--realize.

I think for this to happen, the pyl would have the need to feel inferior. Which probably isn't too uncommon. So then you have to consider...what do they already feel inferior for? I could see someone who's self-consious about their weight and needs to feel inferior consistently, and unknowingly, choosing PYLs who are excellent build, or maybe even very skinny.

I am not trying to say this is the case with everyone. I'm just presenting a specific scenario that I think could apply to an individual. I'm also hoping I'm along the lines that YC was trying to communicate (if not, feel free to correct me!)

 

[Etoile]

I hope osg chimes in. She has good stuff to say about this.

 

[YourCaptor]

I'm no so much asking about causation, but if internalized racism is an element within someones race play.

 

[BiBunny]

I'm no so much asking about causation, but if internalized racism is an element within someones race play.

In some people's? Possibly. In others'? No.

*Puts on professional hat* There are many people in the world, lots of whom fall under the "kinky" umbrella, who get off on things considered "taboo." For some, this might be toilet play; for others, rape play, etc.

In my experience, I've found that most people (well, most men) who are into race play, at least the ones I've come into contact with, are this way, too. Often, they've got more than one "taboo" kink, and they like to combine them.

*Takes off the ugly hat*

I'm, of course, not speaking for everyone here.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

In some people's? Possibly. In others'? No.

*Puts on professional hat* There are many people in the world, lots of whom fall under the "kinky" umbrella, who get off on things considered "taboo." For some, this might be toilet play; for others, rape play, etc.

In my experience, I've found that most people (well, most men) who are into race play, at least the ones I've come into contact with, are this way, too. Often, they've got more than one "taboo" kink, and they like to combine them.

*Takes off the ugly hat*

I'm, of course, not speaking for everyone here.

Why do you think the hat is ugly? I was picturing a nifty top hat, or a bowler hat

 

[BiBunny]

Why do you think the hat is ugly? I was picturing a nifty top hat, or a bowler hat

LOL, back when I used to show, I had this amazing wide-brim derby that I loved. Well, actually, I still have it, but I don't show horses anymore, so I don't really have an occasion to wear it anymore. I guess that could be my pro hat.

 

[MrRelaxer8002]

anything done between two or more adults is fine,and i wouldnt worry what others think or feel about it. If you enjoy it then more power to it,take it and own and love it!

 

[Rembrandt500]

"You know, we're all black...when the lights go out." - Lil Jon

Seriously though - this hasn't really been a fantasy of mine. Race is meaningless when I'm in bed.

 

[woman_inside]

I am a sub blk male who enjoys being dominated and humiliated by aggressive white dudes. One thing that turns me on is when my partners and I engage in racial fantasy. However I often get alot of slack from people challenging me on my this racist issue, debating why I would ever give a white person the authority to devalue or dehumanize me racially to quench a sexual desire. Violence/racism & sexism will always exisist in our world. But when topics such as these emerge in the BDSM community people can be harsh.
I trust myself and my partners and always act responsible. I know im not the only one.
I would love to hear anyones personal experience or advice on the subject.

I can relate, as a Hispanic. Some of my fantasies involve being in the US or Europe and being dominated and humiliated by a white or black man with a fetish for my racial appearance and/or origins.

 

[YourCaptor]

In some people's? Possibly. In others'? No.

*Puts on professional hat* There are many people in the world, lots of whom fall under the "kinky" umbrella, who get off on things considered "taboo." For some, this might be toilet play; for others, rape play, etc.

In my experience, I've found that most people (well, most men) who are into race play, at least the ones I've come into contact with, are this way, too. Often, they've got more than one "taboo" kink, and they like to combine them.

*Takes off the ugly hat*

I'm, of course, not speaking for everyone here.

But I want to know about it. You know, perving.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I can relate, as a Hispanic. Some of my fantasies involve being in the US or Europe and being dominated and humiliated by a white or black man with a fetish for my racial appearance and/or origins.

Well, I totally have a fetish for "exotic" appearances. I'm thinking about how I, as a white woman, could express that in a racial fantasy-- in a way that doesn't turn my deeply liberal stomach

I don't do humiliation anyway, though, not of any sort.

 

[midwestyankee]

LOL, back when I used to show, I had this amazing wide-brim derby that I loved. Well, actually, I still have it, but I don't show horses anymore, so I don't really have an occasion to wear it anymore. I guess that could be my pro hat.

Oh, I can think of a dozen scenarios where your derby would be useful.

 

[HottieMama]

Well, I totally have a fetish for "exotic" appearances. I'm thinking about how I, as a white woman, could express that in a racial fantasy-- in a way that doesn't turn my deeply liberal stomach

I don't do humiliation anyway, though, not of any sort.

Isn't race play by its' very nature a form of humiliation play? I personally have never seen/heard it done in any other way.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

Isn't race play by its' very nature a form of humiliation play? I personally have never seen/heard it done in any other way.

I don't see why it should have to be. The idea is just based on putting the power dynamic into a racial context, isn't it? And there's absolutely no reason why a "normal" power exchange has to include humiliation. So like...you could be the "black slave", but the actual relationship might not be any different than being a "white slave", but for the racial context? I could be thinking about this wrong though. I just don't see why it would have to include humiliation, even if it's usually done that way.

 

[HottieMama]

But what is the point of putting the power dynamic into a racial context if not to "humiliate" based on skin color/ethnicity?

"Black slave" implies "white master" to me, and the historical context of those roles is one of degradation and humiliation.

(I know VERY little about race play, all I know is what my former Domme enjoyed, which was certainly humiliation play based on race..)

 

[BiBunny]

But what is the point of putting the power dynamic into a racial context if not to "humiliate" based on skin color/ethnicity?

"Black slave" implies "white master" to me, and the historical context of those roles is one of degradation and humiliation.

(I know VERY little about race play, all I know is what my former Domme enjoyed, which was certainly humiliation play based on race..)

I think most of the time it is. But since many people refer to the humiliation aspect as "racial humiliation," it might be possible that there's another subset of race play that's not really meant to be humiliating or degrading.

Maybe interracial gangbang or cuckold (regardless of the fact that cuckolding is usually at least somewhat about humiliation, LOL) fantasies where the man/men participating are considered something more than a "big black cock" or whatever? I dunno.

Thinking....

 

[Stella_Omega]

Isn't race play by its' very nature a form of humiliation play? I personally have never seen/heard it done in any other way.

Well... I might 'other' my partner, or objectify them. I guess that's 'humiliation.' But I treasure my toys. And I don't think 'slave' necessarily equals 'humiliation'-- it does mean 'owned' but that would be because you are valuable to your owner.

YMMV, of course...

 

[Lynn_MXX]

I am a sub blk male who enjoys being dominated and humiliated by aggressive white dudes. One thing that turns me on is when my partners and I engage in racial fantasy. However I often get alot of slack from people challenging me on my this racist issue, debating why I would ever give a white person the authority to devalue or dehumanize me racially to quench a sexual desire. Violence/racism & sexism will always exisist in our world. But when topics such as these emerge in the BDSM community people can be harsh.
I trust myself and my partners and always act responsible. I know im not the only one.
I would love to hear anyones personal experience or advice on the subject.

I'm totally astounded by your comment