Why Won't He Give Me Anal?

[icandothis]

Over the last year or so I've developed a renewed curiosity about anal sex and would love to experiment, but I can't get my current lover to give me anal. I did it a few times many years ago with a previous boyfriend and though it was uncomfortable and a little painful at first, but he was considerate and thoughtful and never really hurt me in anyway. The feeling of fullness when he was completely inside me and the feelings of submission, safety and protectedness when he orgasmed and held me tightly to him made the discomfort well worth it. I physically and emotionally want my current lover to fuck me in the ass! I know he'd love it if he did it, but he just seems so closed minded and really hasn't given me a good reason why he won't do it. I need some advice. . .

 

[infinity706]

Honestly, the best thing you can probably do to convince him is to let him watch you fuck your own self in the ass. That way, he can see how much you enjoy it. Just take a dildo with a flared base, put a condom on it, lube it up, and go for it.

 

[CorruptedInnocence]

Assuming you've tried talking him into it you can try exhibition like infinity suggested but, Some people just wont do anal, Each person is different, first domme i was with required alot of hygiene stuff before she would do anything anal, Some people just dont like the idea, just grosses them out. If he wont do it and wont talk about it and the exhibition stuff grosses him out i would suggest moving on if you really need that in a relationship.

 

[icandothis]

Infinity,
Thanks for your reply . . . your suggestion would probably freak him way out, but I'll keep it in mind.

 

[infinity706]

I have to ask why it would freak him out so much. Even if he doesn't personally care for anal, I don't think I've met a guy that doesn't like watching their partner masturbate.

 

[icandothis]

Corrupted,
I don't need it, but I want it! and I really don't want to talk him into anything, I want him to do it because he wants to please me, to make me happy. He's an excellent lover and this could be just one more variation in an otherwise very satisfying love life. Awhile back I was taking a med with iron and became quite constipated (TMI?), anyway he was so loving and concerned, massaging my stomach and back and eventually quite enthusiastically giving me my first enema ever. . . so I don't know if hygiene is an issue. Maybe he thinks he will hurt me? What about getting one of those butt plug things and having him put it in me to help stretch me out? Maybe that would show him that screwing me in the butt won't kill me. I'll keep you posted.

 

[icandothis]

Infinity,
I don't know, sometimes he can be such a stick in the mud. I guess it's how he was raised. Fortunately once he lets himself do something sexually he usually enjoys it.

 

[GrimsPet]

I've had anal sex with only one man, a former lover. He was gentle, and believe me it was wonderful. I look forward to maybe having the same experience with Master.

As for your boyfriend's reluctance - some guys are insecure in their sexuality and will not do certain sexual acts that they feel swing to another direction other that the hetero mindset. Whether your boyfriend is like this or not is only something that he knows and maybe you might be able to pry out of him.

I suggest talking with him and trying to get to the root of the problem. And barring that, just live with the fact that you're not having anal sex. You can masturbate with dildos and buttplugs in your rear all you want to try to entice him but in the end it is going to be for nothing if he has some deep seated mindset that anal is the wrong thing to do.

 

[a75]

What you describe is rather unusual; more often it's the men who ask for anal and the women who refuse

Have you talked about your "anal wish" with your lover? I know that some people reject this kind of intercourse because of religion.

 

[icandothis]

I've had anal sex with only one man, a former lover. He was gentle, and believe me it was wonderful. I look forward to maybe having the same experience with Master.

GrimsPet,
That's a big reason why I want to have anal sex again with my current lover. I enjoyed it before with my ex and I want to enjoy it now with him. If it's not going to happen, then it's not going to happen, but I'm certainly not going to beg him for it! I will continue for awhile (at least) to try and talk to him about anal sex and my desire to have him make love to me that way. . . I can't seem to get it out of my mind. Thanks for your feedback.

 

[infinity706]

I don't know. If he's like some of the guys here ( me included), begging would be pretty hot.

 

[Ex Princess]

The first time I brought up anal with my man, I told him I wanted to give him an exciting present. I then got on my hands and knees and told him, "Please fuck me in the ass."

Never have I seen a man become so happy and compliant.

 

[icandothis]

What you describe is rather unusual; more often it's the men who ask for anal and the women who refuse

Have you talked about your "anal wish" with your lover? I know that some people reject this kind of intercourse because of religion.

A75,
Unusual? I don't think so . . . I dare say we would all be a little surprised to find out just how many women think about, talk about, fantasize about and actually enjoy anal sex. I guess my lover did grow up in a moderately religious, conservative family, but until now I never gave it much thought. Now that I think about it, he was kind of the same way about oral sex; he has always requested and enjoyed me sucking his cock, but when we first got together he couldn't/wouldn't cum in my mouth. I know he wanted to, but he just couldn't. After much persistence, patience and encouragement, I finally convinced him it was ok and that I loved the taste and smell of him and wanted him to cum in my mouth and not pull out. He eventually relaxed and trusted me enough to overcome his inhibitions and complete the act in my mouth. I'll try the same tact (persistence, patience, encouragement) with the "anal wish" and I'll see what happens.

 

[jet_nebula]

A75,
Unusual? I don't think so . . . I dare say we would all be a little surprised to find out just how many women think about, talk about, fantasize about and actually enjoy anal sex. I guess my lover did grow up in a moderately religious, conservative family, but until now I never gave it much thought. Now that I think about it, he was kind of the same way about oral sex; he has always requested and enjoyed me sucking his cock, but when we first got together he couldn't/wouldn't cum in my mouth. I know he wanted to, but he just couldn't. After much persistence, patience and encouragement, I finally convinced him it was ok and that I loved the taste and smell of him and wanted him to cum in my mouth and not pull out. He eventually relaxed and trusted me enough to overcome his inhibitions and complete the act in my mouth. I'll try the same tact (persistence, patience, encouragement) with the "anal wish" and I'll see what happens.

You could be describing my best friend. He's a square when it comes to anal and juicing in a woman's mouth. I have tried to convert him with my tales about the joys of both and he just won't do it. Different strokes. *shrug* You could try trading a fantasy for a fantasy. I'm sure he has a sexual fantasy and I'd be surprised if he didn't. You make his fantasy a reality and he does the same for you. It's fair and you both get what you want.

Best.

 

[cfuhrer]

Honestly, the best thing you can probably do to convince him is to let him watch you fuck your own self in the ass. That way, he can see how much you enjoy it. Just take a dildo with a flared base, put a condom on it, lube it up, and go for it.

I would suggest a couple of variations on this theme:
A- vaginal intercourse with a butt plug or dildo in (at least then you get some of what you want; sensation, feeling of fullness, etc)
B- doggy style vaginal intercourse while he manipulates the butt plug (or other similar toy) so he can be detached from the action itself but can still fulfill your needs.

 

[icandothis]

You could try trading a fantasy for a fantasy. I'm sure he has a sexual fantasy and I'd be surprised if he didn't. You make his fantasy a reality and he does the same for you. It's fair and you both get what you want.

Best.

Jet,
Thanks for your comments. I have a plan and last night was phase one . . . After a nice evening out and almost a full bottle of wine, we got home and right away started fingering and fondling each other. I told him that he could have anything he wanted. He loves simple fellatio and so I knew that was what he would want, you know him lying there with me between his legs sucking him off; but he surprised me alittle when he said he wanted to face fuck me. We don't do this often, but when we do my only rules are that he stay aware and not get carried away or too rough. Whether he realizes it or not, his domination thing really comes out when I let him do this because he is in total control, he can hold my head (which I usually don't like), change the depth and pressure, pretty much use my mouth anyway he wants. Sorry, I'm getting off point . . . after having his orgasm and cumming he was lying there with his eyes closed when I started lightly sucking and tonguing his dick and balls. I spread his thighs and continued softly kissing and licking between his thighs eventually working my way around to his butt hole. I gently urged him to turn over onto his stomach, lifted his hips and slowly started to give him the most intense ass rimming I had ever done. He at first half heartedly tried to pull away, but then relaxed (must be the wine). I never mentioned the "A" word, and I didn't try to penetrate him with my finger, it was just my mouth and tongue licking, poking, kissing, sucking his ass. When he couldn't handle it anymore, (by now his dick was hard again and pulsing), he turned me over and came inside me.
You know, I think I had started getting resentful towards him because he wouldn't do me and it made me feel awful. Keeping my mouth shut, not talking about it everytime we have sex and letting him come around on his own is probably the way to go, I hope so. He loved last night and was talking about the experience this morning.
I'm going on the assumption that it will happen. I saw online that I can get a set of graduated sized butt plugs, I think I'll get them to wear so I can stretch my hole and also we can use them as new toys. . . that's on my shopping list this week.

 

[icandothis]

I would suggest a couple of variations on this theme:
A- vaginal intercourse with a butt plug or dildo in (at least then you get some of what you want; sensation, feeling of fullness, etc)
B- doggy style vaginal intercourse while he manipulates the butt plug (or other similar toy) so he can be detached from the action itself but can still fulfill your needs.

I plan on visiting the store "Great Expectations" this week and picking up a new toy

 

[Tmmldr]

Jet,
Thanks for your comments. I have a plan and last night was phase one . . . After a nice evening out and almost a full bottle of wine, we got home and right away started fingering and fondling each other. I told him that he could have anything he wanted. He loves simple fellatio and so I knew that was what he would want, you know him lying there with me between his legs sucking him off; but he surprised me alittle when he said he wanted to face fuck me. We don't do this often, but when we do my only rules are that he stay aware and not get carried away or too rough. Whether he realizes it or not, his domination thing really comes out when I let him do this because he is in total control, he can hold my head (which I usually don't like), change the depth and pressure, pretty much use my mouth anyway he wants. Sorry, I'm getting off point . . . after having his orgasm and cumming he was lying there with his eyes closed when I started lightly sucking and tonguing his dick and balls. I spread his thighs and continued softly kissing and licking between his thighs eventually working my way around to his butt hole. I gently urged him to turn over onto his stomach, lifted his hips and slowly started to give him the most intense ass rimming I had ever done. He at first half heartedly tried to pull away, but then relaxed (must be the wine). I never mentioned the "A" word, and I didn't try to penetrate him with my finger, it was just my mouth and tongue licking, poking, kissing, sucking his ass. ....

That's totally hot, this guy is really lucky to have found you. I'd suggest the following. Do that again every now and then until he really is used to it, sometimes let him fuck you, sometimes blow job after the assplay. Then one day, do the same foreplay, put that cock in your pussy for a couple of strokes, and you move it to your ass. That way you are in control, he's not going to resist because you've got him well prepped, and you can do whatever you want.

One thing, to be sure it isn't gross enema first.

 

[icandothis]

That's totally hot, this guy is really lucky to have found you. I'd suggest the following. Do that again every now and then until he really is used to it, sometimes let him fuck you, sometimes blow job after the assplay. Then one day, do the same foreplay, put that cock in your pussy for a couple of strokes, and you move it to your ass. That way you are in control, he's not going to resist because you've got him well prepped, and you can do whatever you want.

Tmmldr,
Thanks for your suggestion . . . I like the way you think.

Despite our little issue right now, my SO really is a wonderful person and lover, A perfect example would be this morning when I awoke to the pressure of his erection against my hip and his hand gently massaging between my legs. He has me well trained, and I know that this is his unspoken cue that he wanted "morning sex" and so as usual, I slowly rolled onto my back and opened my thighs wide welcoming him. He knows me and he knows my body and without speaking he got on top of me and began fucking me with slow, deliberate strokes until he brought me to orgasm, but he didn't cum. I asked him if anything was wrong and he said no, but that he'd like it if I would suck his dick and lick his ass!

I started off sucking his dick and his balls moving gradually to his ass (like I did a couple of nights ago). He enjoyed this as much as he did before and I could tell he was getting ready to cum. He tried to shift positions so that he could cum inside me, but wasn't fast enough and ended up shooting his load in my face and all over my chest and tits. I was surprised at first, but then started wiping it off my face and licking his cum off of my fingers as he watched.

We've been together for a while and have never really gotten into "ass-play", but I think he really gets off on having me play with his ass, but I'm going to take your suggestion and only do it now and then until I'm ready to implement part two of my plan.

Thanks again . . .

 

[Tmmldr]

An older woman did this to me once, she was about 32 and I was 22. She got a blanket and we went out into the lawn in a secluded spot. She had some lotion, and I thought we were going to fuck. She got on top cowgirl style, rubbed some of that lotion around different places, and started tracing fingers up and down my cock until it was steel. Then she leaned forward and kissed, and I felt those tits and the nipples brush my chest as she grabbed the cock and prepared to insert it.

That was when the big surprise came, she put it on her little assbud and started pushing it in. I knew right away what was happening, felt her wince and shudder a bit. Mostly I just stayed still while she worked it in (it's large enough to not be that easy). All this time cuddled with me and kissing.

After a while the fucking started, first slowly then in earnest. She seemed to like long hard thrusts, the kind that make slapping sounds when my thighs hit her ass cheeks. Maybe she came doing this, I don't know....I was too busy headed in that direction myself to figure it out.

I got to know her better and understood that she loved to be fucked in the ass, but really didn't like to be fucked the regular way. I never understood if maybe there was a medical reason, or if it was just her preferences. We became very good friends after a while, even stayed friends but cut off the sex when I found my true love.

 

[icandothis]

Tmmldr,
Thank you for sharing this. What I remember about my first anal experience is that while I was head over heels in love with the guy, I didn't really think I would like being taken in the ass. I'm not all that experienced now, but then I had just graduated college, had my first apartment and I was sexually just beginning to grow and learn, in fact I don't think I even knew that people did it "that way".
The first time was for me memorable and it comes to mind as if it had just happened. The room reeked of spent sex as we lay in the bed recovering from a session of hot lovemaking, me dripping cum onto damp sweaty sheets, him spooning behind me and my ass nestled into his crotch. I began to sigh with pleasure when he started fingering my rosebud. When I felt him taking cum from my wet pussy and rubbing it into my asshole I got scared and tried to get away because I sensed what he was going to try and do. He roughly pulled me back and positioned himself pinning me to the bed. He held me there for a few seconds until I stopped struggling and then whispered into my ear "let me". I had the strangest mixture of feelings, I was scared and apprehensive, but at the same time excited. I knew what he wanted to do to me and I "let him". I was still full of cum from our earlier mating and the excitement and anticipation had made me even wetter. Alan had gotten some lube out of the bedstand and as he caressed my ass he began inserting it into my asshole. He positioned his cock at the opening of my asshole and started to enter me. As I lay there face down on the bed with him slowly pushing himself into me I began to softly cry and moan into the pillow. I asked him to stop even though I knew we were way past that; my lover firmly held my hips quite, stopped moving and told me to try and relax, he then reached around between my legs and began massaging my clit. As he worked my clit he resumed his slow entry into my ass. Unexpectedly he brought me to a fierce clitoral orgasm and at the same time he gave a final thrust and was in all the way. I swear I saw stars, but after a bit he began stroking in and out of my hole and slowly (very slowly) the pain started to change to pleasure. When we had finished and were lying there talking, I asked him if he expected us to do that all the time, and to my relief he said no. He said while he liked anal sex occasionally it wasn't something that he had to do to be satisfied. He said that while the sex was good, it was the feeling he got when he felt me under him, whimpering and moaning, trying to squirm away from him like a trapped rabbit that was unbelievable and made him so hard it hurt. Needless to say it got better over time and didn't hurt so much; though I never came solely from anal penetration he would always manually bring me to orgasm as he fucked me. I loved the closeness, the fullness, and the sensation of my lover cumming deep inside my ass.

 

[jan_vjj]

i guess i'm lucky: my guy PREFERS it in back.

 

[icandothis]

i guess i'm lucky: my guy PREFERS it in back.

Yes . . . very lucky, just enjoy!

 

[jet_nebula]

An older woman did this to me once, she was about 32 and I was 22. She got a blanket and we went out into the lawn in a secluded spot. She had some lotion, and I thought we were going to fuck. She got on top cowgirl style, rubbed some of that lotion around different places, and started tracing fingers up and down my cock until it was steel. Then she leaned forward and kissed, and I felt those tits and the nipples brush my chest as she grabbed the cock and prepared to insert it.

That was when the big surprise came, she put it on her little assbud and started pushing it in. I knew right away what was happening, felt her wince and shudder a bit. Mostly I just stayed still while she worked it in (it's large enough to not be that easy). All this time cuddled with me and kissing.

After a while the fucking started, first slowly then in earnest. She seemed to like long hard thrusts, the kind that make slapping sounds when my thighs hit her ass cheeks. Maybe she came doing this, I don't know....I was too busy headed in that direction myself to figure it out.

I got to know her better and understood that she loved to be fucked in the ass, but really didn't like to be fucked the regular way. I never understood if maybe there was a medical reason, or if it was just her preferences. We became very good friends after a while, even stayed friends but cut off the sex when I found my true love.

Here's to you, bro.

My first anal experience was at the request of an older woman. I was 17 and she was 28. Horny kid + older woman + anal sex= Priceless.

 

[Tmmldr]

l.....while the sex was good, it was the feeling he got when he felt me under him, whimpering and moaning, trying to squirm away from him like a trapped rabbit that was unbelievable and made him so hard it hurt. Needless to say it got better over time and didn't hurt so much; though I never came solely from anal penetration he would always manually bring me to orgasm as he fucked me. I loved the closeness, the fullness, and the sensation of my lover cumming deep inside my ass.

This woman liked to be in control, and was an ex ballerina. Looked great, but not jiggly, very muscled underneath, very fit, and liked to use her body. She didn't whimper and moan, not at all, but would watch me and my reactions and smile.\

Then there was another woman....she'd completely lose it and become a complete sex demon when her ass was fucked. After that cock slid in all the way she'd start groaning, whimpered, moaned, squirmed, acted like a trapped rabbit in the clutches of a cat. She'd lay flat on her stomach usually and I'd lay flat on my back to ease into her, then she'd sort of half prop herself up on knees and elbows and start trembling, shivering, bucking. She'd start working her clit with one hand frantically, and said that made it not hurt, and gave her multiple orgasms.

That was incredibly hot, and it's something I've never seen in any porn video. Ass fucking is common in porn, but these aspects of it may be hard to capture on film. Porn has obligatory sequences, and it's quite real. The similarity between what I've described with this second woman and your fond memories is quite striking.

Come to think of it, I've never these aspects of ass fucking described in a story either.