is not a haiku

[twelveoone]

is not a haiku
like yo mama, b-ball width
b-ball height, dribblin' in place

a dick like a pen
scribble'in' & dribble'in'
is not a haiku

Kaishaku if anybody here comes closest to the duplication of a Japanese haiku. A radically different language, different culture, with even a different way of thought. Haiku are also written in kanji, imported from China, which makes use of compound characters. Sometimes that is played with also. If you look at Drown's colorization of words with words, that would be close to what I'm talking about.

So what the fuck?

Why would I give this a five? Well it made me think, spurred some dubious creativity. Currently three "haiku" threads are running here. Someone just posted a series of them in new poems. Perhaps I am reading way too much into this, maybe it is a gentle reminder not to waste too much time on dubious creativity, when it could be better spent on doing something new or better.

So I just translated it for you.

 

[bogusagain]

My daughter studies Japanese at Lieden University and has lived in Japan for a year and she is adamant Hiakus can't be written in English. I don't know, I don't pretend know anything on the subject.

 

[drown]

i humbly remind...

you spring to point out their fall


ahhhhhh...
thy precipice

 

[drown]

ahhhh well...
that was harsh.




the thermometer
reads low.

when'd y'know you're done?​

 

[twelveoone]

ahhhh well...
that was harsh.




the thermometer
reads low.

when'd y'know you're done?​

where are the colours

 

[drown]

where are the colours

the colors play ball...

and so,
maintain their value

to articulates

 

[butters]

y'all being waaaay too smart for me on a sunday morning. guess you're not about to tone it down, so i need to wake up the greys and get commenting.


coffee, anyone?

 

[drown]

y'all being waaaay too smart for me on a sunday morning. guess you're not about to tone it down, so i need to wake up the greys and get commenting.


coffee, anyone?

i am no poet...
'i soil the garden'...s'been said
no small irony

 

[bronzeage]

My daughter studies Japanese at Lieden University and has lived in Japan for a year and she is adamant Hiakus can't be written in English. I don't know, I don't pretend know anything on the subject.

I have heard that before, mostly after I post a haiku.

It's sort of like saying one cannot truly grill on a hibachi, because true hibachi requires Japanese air for proper combustion.

Its just a short poem
what's the big fucking deal, Joe?
five seven five, no?

 

[simply__me]

He is Sam I Am
Yes sir, Sam I Am I is
Sam, I is not sir


that is haiku
a sublime choking design
not fit for rednecks

 

[drown]

analytical:
most anyone seems expert


still counting the beats?​

 

[Kaishaku]

As George would say...

"Motherfucker! Damn it all. You know you try... you try and teach them something, but do they care... fuck no, they just go on writing that mindless dribble, five seven five, yippee I wrote a haiku. I ought to kick their asses."

a slight variation on a quote by the infamous haiku policeman.


K.

 

[twelveoone]

analytical:
most anyone seems expert


still counting the beats?​

the best laid minds of

my generation​

were all fucking insane

we won't get fooled again​

so if Kerouc came back

I would count them​

but like

prone city​

man​

speaking thereof

was ginsberg buried​

ass up​

or ass down

drown?​

 

[bogusagain]

Ginsberg certainly over does the ass part in Howl.

a cock in the ass
makes a man howl with delight
you ass she spat​

Anyone seen the film Howl yet? Took my daughter the other night who said, Hmm, he's (Ginsberg) pretty much into asses but is it poetry?

Actually I quite enjoyed the film, particularly the animation part but I found the actor playing Ginsberg pretty mannered but then, Ginsberg himself was mannered.

 

[drown]

such 'insanities'
play now to a mad men beat

ginsburg's ass... ?

(PG)

an indiscretion
a smile that should have been ice

negotiated
​

what then of the rules?
are they wheat or firmament?

sends who on the road​

 

[butters]

ripe plums
white teeth
sticky fingers

 

[bronzeage]

ripe plums
white teeth
sticky fingers

ripe plums or white teeth
choose one, but cannot have both
Rolling Stones album

 

[butters]

ripe plums or white teeth
choose one, but cannot have both
Rolling Stones album

i k-k-k-kant
ku fan chews
metaphysically speaking

 

[bronzeage]

i k-k-k-kant
ku fan chews
metaphysically speaking

Metaphysically please
Metaphysically speaking
Thank you for taking my call, Mr. Physically.
May I call you Meta?

 

[Kaishaku]

Zen. - from George

zen my ass
I think I need to
kill someone


by George


K.

 

[twelveoone]

zen my ass
I think I need to
kill someone


by George


K.

Sign me up! Five more guys, it'll be a like some cool movie.

My daughter studies Japanese at Lieden University and has lived in Japan for a year and she is adamant Hiakus can't be written in English. I don't know, I don't pretend know anything on the subject.

Remember I said that once, I conceded, maybe one or two. One difference may be the difference between a part and apart.

 

[Tzara]

zen my ass
I think I need to
kill someone


by George


K.

Oi, zen ass. Cherry
petals drift on this light wind.
My sword, though, centered.

 

[drown]

legitamacy


silence

in seven measures
​

words fright
then cover

 

[twelveoone]

uncover

 

[bronzeage]

Uncover the truth
no one cares about haiku
except the haikutioner