Guy Baldwin's Leather Leadership Conference Keynote: 2011

[Stella_Omega]

The full video and text is here;
http://www.leatherati.com/leatherati/2011/04/guy-baldwin-keynote-a-call-to-action-for-llc.html

Thoughts?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Okay, here are mine;

The man was brilliant, and on a roll!

I thought about applying for a scholarship to the leadership conference. And then I thought-- why? What kind of leadership does my kinky self feel is necessary? I thought about the causes that I fight for-- environment, education, health, whatever-- none of them have a thing to do with my wanting, as Guy said, to get laid well. That is not a political issue. All those political things, I do anyway-- if I'm lucky, I get laid on my off time. :-/

But he's very wrong about one thing, which is that the fact of gathering together is so very immensely satisfying, that people will spend a ton of money to do it. I would far, far rather learn rope knotting, say, from a real person face to face, rather than from the internet. i can learn off the internet, sure-- but unless there's a warm body in front of me to use what I've learned, I am not satisfied.

I have never attended a leather event for activist purposes. I have one reason to show up-- which is to meet other leatherfolk in the flesh, get some assurance that my tribe still exists. Maybe get laid well.

Also, Did you notice the link to the right of the article, that the SF Eagle will probably be shut down because some thirty-something dude owns the building now?

And we lost the Chicago Eagle about five years ago, which was the place where I earned my leathers. That bar made dykes feel welcome, one night a week... Tuesdays, of course, when the boys needed an early night because they had work in the morning. So did the women, but we needed our tribe with much more urgency.

Guy is so very right, saying that the leather community needs to raise funds for ourselves.

 

[welkin]

Lurking on lit for the past half year or so has certainly made me believe that bdsm is the normalest thing ever. Like oral sex. And people don't form communities to seek support or advices on oral sex, so why bdsm?

Then I remembered how scared I was to enter this world just last year, and it made me smile.


Is there a cause to be an activist? With homosexuals, marriage is an obvious and highly visible battleground. But for just some bondage and spanking fun, is there? I need to get out into the "real world" more.

 

[eastern sun]

I thought he made a very effective claim to the threat the internet poses in diffusing the strength and core of the community. Hence the need for leather leadership to take strategic action and yes, fundraise, to tighten the identity of the group and bring young people in to the organized community.

I also thought he made an effective claim that this may be a lost cause, since the main objective is to get laid, and people seem (seem) to be able to hookup through the internet.

I think an interesting research question would be whether or not internet hookups are as safe, satisfying and reliable as hookups through organized events.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Lurking on lit for the past half year or so has certainly made me believe that bdsm is the normalest thing ever. Like oral sex. And people don't form communities to seek support or advices on oral sex, so why bdsm?

Then I remembered how scared I was to enter this world just last year, and it made me smile.


Is there a cause to be an activist? With homosexuals, marriage is an obvious and highly visible battleground. But for just some bondage and spanking fun, is there? I need to get out into the "real world" more.

I'd like to say that the version of BDSM you find on lit isn't the only version out there. it can be a lot more than bondage and a spanking....

And in the fact that people have been arrested for "bondage and spanking fun" is a thing the community should be raising money for-- defense funds and suchlike.

 

[intothewoods]

You might be able to hook up with someone you meet online. You might be able to find a relationship. But events are so much more than that! I don't even get out very often in the scene these days, but I can't imagine thinking that the experience of a large scale event can be replaced by the internet.

I think an interesting research question would be whether or not internet hookups are as safe, satisfying and reliable as hookups through organized events.

Yep.

 

[welkin]

Hmm, I guess being an introvert, I automatically become defensive and withdrawn when I'm among strangers... so I've been a lot more comfortable seeking out resources online. So I wholeheartedly concur with Guy Baldwin's motion to digitalize BDSM resources. =)

What I've also observed (the few times I ventured into the local community) is that the "scene" seems to be more geared towards SM in BDSM, so I feel rather awkward as a mere BDS-er.

 

[Netzach]

I love the point about fundraising and we need to stop acting like we have to show what good boy scouts we really are. It's time to just act legitimate and expect decent treatment and take care of our damn own.

As we get older and older this is going to be more important. How are we supposed to age with any dignity without advocacy, foundation, and some healthy separatism?

 

[catalina_francisco]

I love the point about fundraising and we need to stop acting like we have to show what good boy scouts we really are. It's time to just act legitimate and expect decent treatment and take care of our damn own.

As we get older and older this is going to be more important. How are we supposed to age with any dignity without advocacy, foundation, and some healthy separatism?

Wisdom as always.

Catalina

 

[Stella_Omega]

Wisdom as always.

Catalina

Guy Baldwin's wisdom.

I have to say though, that the leather scene is one of the few social milieus in which I've seen demonstrated respect for elders. In Chicago, there was a Mistress in her eighties, a bit down on her financial luck, suffering from some health issues you would think she was any dowdy old lady. But -- when she showed up at the dungeons she was the undisputed queen. Leathermen, straights, lesbians alike, all were proud to be seen with her and being trained by her was a badge of pride and honor.

 

[Netzach]

Guy Baldwin's wisdom.

I have to say though, that the leather scene is one of the few social milieus in which I've seen demonstrated respect for elders. In Chicago, there was a Mistress in her eighties, a bit down on her financial luck, suffering from some health issues you would think she was any dowdy old lady. But -- when she showed up at the dungeons she was the undisputed queen. Leathermen, straights, lesbians alike, all were proud to be seen with her and being trained by her was a badge of pride and honor.

I think this mindset is getting more precarious though, and also respect and food on the table are two different things. We really need to take care of ourselves because no one else is going to do it for us without our identities being the cost.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The shit is making gentle contact with the fan now... if you are a fetlife member take a look at the leather leadership conference group's discussions.

 

[Stella_Omega]

yeah... that's pretty damn remote, Stag. Not to mention the "requirement" is absolutely an invasion of privacy. I'd say you'd have to negotiate that within your own personal marriage contract.

Hell, vanilla marriages have problems all the time and there's no legal way to mandate counseling.

 

[Netzach]

The shit is making gentle contact with the fan now... if you are a fetlife member take a look at the leather leadership conference group's discussions.

I can't find the fetlife version, but mainly I see "next time I won't take care of you fags when you're dying of AIDS I'm straight and I'm offended" stuff.

Wah wah wah. This is why I have no faith in a unified scene.

 

[ImOnIt]

"alternative relationship license"... immunity to domestic violence laws.

Let me stop you there. Making and maintaining a separate license I think would be immoral because A. equality, B. self-incrimination and C. it would be a LIST of names/couples. Think about that a second.

The problem is about mutual consent to intentional physical assault for fun, right? This is only a problem if kinky sex ends up being labelled and prosecuted as assault - does this happen (often/at all?). If no, good. The law is fine.

Does kinky sex make either party of a consenting couple vulnerable to prosecution by the state against the wishes of both parties?

Does kinky sex make either party vulnerable to being LIED ABOUT by a jilted partner to cause malicious and unwarranted prosecution? Are they more vulnerable than regular sex re: fabricated rape claims? Assuming that kinky couples need special protection (and I'm not sure they do) , then I would first think to something LIKE a contract, setting out very basically expectations, safeword and stopping the scene.

To require it to be written would be meaningless, as one cannot sign away future consent. The expected best practise as it stands between new couples is 1. expectation of activities and/or 2. how to pause/stop the scene and renegotiate.

I see more instances of a boundary-crossing top using written consent to intimidate poor bottom, reducing the incidence of legitimate complaints.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I can't find the fetlife version, but mainly I see "next time I won't take care of you fags when you're dying of AIDS I'm straight and I'm offended" stuff.

Wah wah wah. This is why I have no faith in a unified scene.

http://fetlife.com/groups/2359
http://fetlife.com/groups/2359/group_posts/1352328

There is some discussion about the opening video, and about whether or not it was appropriate in an inclusive gathering-- amongst many other issues...


And, speaking of inclusive, Tyler McCormic's keynote for the closing ceremonies

 

[Netzach]

http://fetlife.com/groups/2359
http://fetlife.com/groups/2359/group_posts/1352328

There is some discussion about the opening video, and about whether or not it was appropriate in an inclusive gathering-- amongst many other issues...


And, speaking of inclusive, Tyler McCormic's keynote for the closing ceremonies

Yeah, I guess I had to be there or something. But you know what, I came up through a pan/queer scene like you did. Maybe I'm dumb but a day in my life in which my part/time/dickloving/vagina/having self wasn't being validated because I was in a space where I was trying to learn something from gay men didn't kill me. I don't need to see myself reflected back at myself accurately at all times to not lose my shit - things being one of one femme tops in a room teaches you. Welcome to the margin and have a cup of STFU straight people. It's good for you, it's called "perspective."

As for there not being leatherwomen in the vid, that's kind of stupid, but I guess I'd just assume that if it's rolling prior to a gay speaker it might lean that way.

I think had the shoe been on the other foot and there was yet more footage of ciswomen kneeling at their cisdudemasters feet the pan community would be absolutely SILENT. They don't even notice themselves because the dominant paradigm is "normal."

I don't blame a lot of people who are fine sitting out this happy kumbaya charade to play at home, self included. I'll still donate to NCSF and legal defense funds, but I don't need to come out and try and touch everyone.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Welcome to the margin and have a cup of STFU straight people. It's good for you, it's called "perspective."

OHMYGHAWD I LUFF YOU I KEES YOU FEEEEETS

At the same time...

I think had the shoe been on the other foot and there was yet more footage of ciswomen kneeling at their cisdudemasters feet the pan community would be absolutely SILENT. They don't even notice themselves because the dominant paradigm is "normal."

Oh trust me the outcry would have been deafening dude, this was WEST HOLLYWOOD territory.

I wasn't there. I was part of the early shutdown of the LOC. I had applied for a scholarship which was a thought that was good for a moment, and sent in my volunteer stuff. But when it came down to it-- I didn't have the dollars they were desiring me to give so that I could give my time.

I did not have the extra income to do it.

Leadership doesn't have to be predicated upon having a disposable income, but advanced classes... yeah, they do. Or did this time.

I would have liked to say hi to Guy though, I've met him before.

 

[welkin]

cis-person?

Cis is opposite of trans, so someone who identifies the same as the gender they're born with.




I read a bit of the fetlife thread, but I have to say I hate how ugly everything gets once power and prestige come into the picture. It seems more virulent in the "leaders"' circle than I've seen elsewhere...

 

[welkin]

Not sure about the connotation, but the times I've seen it used, it was not derogatory.


Though changes aren't always something you can lobby for and just get it. It may take a lot of those court cases to help publicize bdsm as something safe and consensual, change people's perception, and establish some precedents before laws can be passed...

 

[Stella_Omega]

yeah.. a convention is a little more fun than a conference, in my experience... the vendor's rooms are always like these big agoras where you meet and socialise.

 

[Stella_Omega]

so it's akin to calling someone straight, as a way of differentiating them from homosexuals?

is it used derogatorily?

yes, and-- of course there are times when it's used to point out that someone doesn't know what they are talking about. Like when someone says; "Why the hell do you want to dress like that, you're a perfectly nice-looking lady and you'd look great in a dress!" and I say; "you're cis, I take it."

I think the point I was really trying to make earlier is that I'd rather donate money to lobbying, as an attempt to affect change, rather than donate money to legal defense, which is merely coping with and enduring a broken system by feeding it gobs of money.

It is understandable though; a broken legal system cannot simply be denied before it is fixed, people on the wrong side of it would certainly need help, and where else would they turn for support than the community that fosters and encourages the activities that got them into trouble... so I suppose it's not an unworthy cause.

Wow. I don't understand how it is that I ever got into trouble before I met up with the community!

Seriously, it's a little chicken-and-eggish, your reasoning here.

 

[Stella_Omega]

It's not meant to be.

When 'you' (non-specific) find yourself in jail because your pyl forgot to mention their doctor appointment the day after an impromptu canning session, are you really gonna turn to your estranged baptist mom (hypothetical stereotype) for help paying the lawyer's bill?

possibly, but it highlights the essensiality of having a community that is tight enough, or sympathetic enough with that plight, that they come together for the support that 'you' won't find elsewhere.

So yeah, in that light raising money for legal defense makes sense to me, even though I'd rather see money raised for some kind of real change, so that raising money for legal defense isn't an eternal necesity.

Maybe both at the same time?

We could call it "P.R and defense," or something.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Maybe.

At least now you seem to understand me.

I do, I hope.

Projects like those just don't have to be an either/or proposition. We need both at the same time, and most of the community knows that.