Is it unusual...

[curiousk0808]

Hi all. Just 3 quick questions for anyone who'd like to share their thoughts. Really quick background: I've never really been in a dominant/submissive relationship but find more often than not that I'd like to be AND the more I talk about it on here the more comfortable I am becoming with this facet of myself.

Which leads me to my questions.

1.) Is it unusual for someone to call themselves a submissive even if they have no experience?
2.) Is it unusual for them to consider themselves a submissive if they have no toys or paraphernelia?
3.) IF one is interested in making a few discreet purchases, what would you recommend and where from? Because I REALLY don't want a big box of obvious delivered to my doorstep for anyone to find.

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes a stab at any or all of these questions! I appreciate the help.

~CuriousK

 

[JamieJ424]

1. You can identify yourself in a way that suits your relationship goals. If you identify as a sub, you'll draw Dom/mes and vice versa. No experience necessary.

2. Toys are fun but optional. Submissiveness is an internal thing, part of your emotional makeup. Or not.

3. http://www.goodvibes.com/main.jhtml

J

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

1.) Is it unusual for someone to call themselves a submissive even if they have no experience?
2.) Is it unusual for them to consider themselves a submissive if they have no toys or paraphernelia?
3.) IF one is interested in making a few discreet purchases, what would you recommend and where from? Because I REALLY don't want a big box of obvious delivered to my doorstep for anyone to find.

1) No, because wouldn't that also would mean all virgins are asexaul?
2) Don't think it means anything except that maybe you would have some real fun shopping. In the mean time, we all have hands and they are great fun.
3)Actually, I have found a lot if not most of the places online offer discreet packaging with shipping. That said, I am happy with Xandria.com.

 

[satindesire]

1.) Is it unusual for someone to call themselves a submissive even if they have no experience? Submission is as much a part of a submissive person's identity as sexual orientation. You don't have to have sex to know you're a certain sexual identity.

2.) Is it unusual for them to consider themselves a submissive if they have no toys or paraphernelia? It's possible someone might have told you something along those lines, but trust me, and this comes from a fellow Submissive...If someone told you that, they're a MORON. End of story. Sex toys are just that, fun adult toys to use while having sex. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with BDSM at all.

3.) IF one is interested in making a few discreet purchases, what would you recommend and where from? Because I REALLY don't want a big box of obvious delivered to my doorstep for anyone to find. Adameve.com

 

[ImOnIt]

Submissives rise before dawn and feast upon baked potatoes.

Submissives possess the correct fawnskin almanac.

Submissives use secret knock #21.

Submissives can believe it's not butter.

Submissives always point north.

Submissives float on oil.

Submissives hide messages in invisible ink. You can reveal secret it by grilling your correspondence at 120degrees C.

Submissives squirt ink when startled. Approach with caution.

Submissives created the dewey decimal system.

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

Hi all. Just 3 quick questions for anyone who'd like to share their thoughts. Really quick background: I've never really been in a dominant/submissive relationship but find more often than not that I'd like to be AND the more I talk about it on here the more comfortable I am becoming with this facet of myself.

Which leads me to my questions.

1.) Is it unusual for someone to call themselves a submissive even if they have no experience?
2.) Is it unusual for them to consider themselves a submissive if they have no toys or paraphernelia?
3.) IF one is interested in making a few discreet purchases, what would you recommend and where from? Because I REALLY don't want a big box of obvious delivered to my doorstep for anyone to find.

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes a stab at any or all of these questions! I appreciate the help.

~CuriousK

I would assume it's not unusual to call yourself a submissive if you are becoming more and more convinced you are one, at least in your mind. Lack of experience and /or possesion of "toys" doesn't invalidate your gut submissive feelings. But if you truly think you're submissive, the gaining of experience will reinforce your inclinations.

A good place to shop for toys online is "The Stockroom". http://www.stockroom.com

Hope this helps!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

It's not unusual to be loved by anyone
It's not unusual to have fun with anyone

PS: Pretty much all adult themed websites ship discreetly. It's a key feature. The even better ones have vague names that show up on credit card statements.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

It's not unusual to be loved by anyone
It's not unusual to have fun with anyone

http://mmp.gadu-gadu.pl/ip?ft=f:gr-cover,c1400a013ca000000000000000004992a69d2f56a1490000&ff=png&fs=190x190&fo=forcesize

PS: Pretty much all adult themed websites ship discreetly. It's a key feature. The even better ones have vague names that show up on credit card statements.

Oh yeah.

"FROM: SEXYTIME KINKWORKS;
BALL GAG AND PADDLE DIVISION
1002 LEATHERRESTRAINT WAY
ORGASMCONTROL, OH 696969"

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

http://mmp.gadu-gadu.pl/ip?ft=f:gr-cover,c1400a013ca000000000000000004992a69d2f56a1490000&ff=png&fs=190x190&fo=forcesize



Oh yeah.

"FROM: SEXYTIME KINKWORKS;
BALL GAG AND PADDLE DIVISION
1002 LEATHERRESTRAINT WAY
ORGASMCONTROL, OH 696969"

It's what all the cool kids are doing!

 

[where]

also, you can be sexually submissive, call yourself a sub and still be an in-yer-face hardass bitch

 

[curiousk0808]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Thank you all for the reassurance and advice; I guess I was just concerned with misrepresenting myself if/when it gets to that point in RL. And your recommendations for sites have been equally amazing!

 

[where]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Thank you all for the reassurance and advice; I guess I was just concerned with misrepresenting myself if/when it gets to that point in RL. And your recommendations for sites have been equally amazing!

it should be noted that there are people in the bdsm 'community' who will think that you are not a 'proper' sub unless you do x, y or z and will claim that you are misrepresenting yourself. this has happened to me twice, ironically by two people who were only binary 'masters'.

if it does happen, ignore them and go your own way.

oh, and watch out for 'mentors' too. Some of them can be really fucking creepy.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have to agree with most of the advice you have had, so won't repeat it. As to toys, you will find many PYL's already have their own, but many appreciate pyl's who also have their own and for some things such as floggers etc., it can be a good health and safety issue to use your own. Vibrators? Really I don;t see them as typically BDSM toys, though they can be used in a way which makes them useful as such. What you might find though is you already have a lot of toys staring you in tha face right at home which you didn't even think of as fun before. You might like to browse this thread for some eye opening inspiration.

Catalina

 

[Sir_Winston54]

.... oh, and watch out for 'mentors' too. Some of them can be really fucking creepy.

Damn. There goes my opportunity to post in this thread.

 

[slave_]

Which leads me to my questions.

1.) Is it unusual for someone to call themselves a submissive even if they have no experience?
2.) Is it unusual for them to consider themselves a submissive if they have no toys or paraphernelia?
3.) IF one is interested in making a few discreet purchases, what would you recommend and where from? Because I REALLY don't want a big box of obvious delivered to my doorstep for anyone to find.

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes a stab at any or all of these questions! I appreciate the help.

~CuriousK

1. It is WHO you are, so of course, experience does not dictate what is intrinsic to your personality.

2. I do not have toys, props, gadgets, nothing. Could care less. One thing has nothing to do with the other, toys and props do not make or define WHO you are.

3. As for good, reliable service, there are many sites and I am sure someone here will chime in with a good one.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Damn. There goes my opportunity to post in this thread.

ba-dum-bum-CHING!

 

[slave_]

ba-dum-bum-CHING!

That's funny!

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

It's not unusual to be loved by anyone
It's not unusual to have fun with anyone

http://mmp.gadu-gadu.pl/ip?ft=f:gr-cover,c1400a013ca000000000000000004992a69d2f56a1490000&ff=png&fs=190x190&fo=forcesize

Dammit. Now I have that song stuck in my head.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Dammit. Now I have that song stuck in my head.

Me too!

That's funny!

And I have the cymbal rimshot in my head, too.

 

[where]

mmmmm rim shots....

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

mmmmm rim shots....

Now THAT was funny.

 

[where]

Now THAT was funny.

when I first came to lit, for months I had no idea what a rim shot was. I assumed it was something sexual to do with rimming. and thats how I prefer to keep thinking of it.

 

[MasterandSir]

Hi all. Just 3 quick questions for anyone who'd like to share their thoughts. Really quick background: I've never really been in a dominant/submissive relationship but find more often than not that I'd like to be AND the more I talk about it on here the more comfortable I am becoming with this facet of myself.

Which leads me to my questions.

1.) Is it unusual for someone to call themselves a submissive even if they have no experience?
2.) Is it unusual for them to consider themselves a submissive if they have no toys or paraphernelia?
3.) IF one is interested in making a few discreet purchases, what would you recommend and where from? Because I REALLY don't want a big box of obvious delivered to my doorstep for anyone to find.

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes a stab at any or all of these questions! I appreciate the help.

~CuriousK

1. No, we all started into BDSM with no experience
2. No, toys are not required to be a submissive.
3. Depending on what you are looking for (regular sex toys and light BDSM) can be had on Amazon. Your local sex shop can usually get in anything if you don't mind going there for more.....specific gear.

 

[DVS]

I don't think any store that sells erotic paraphernalia, online or otherwise, would have very many customers, if the purchases weren't packaged in a discreet manner. Something tells me it's not preferred to receive a package with the label visible to everybody from the FedEx man down to your neighbors.

And if such a package was shipped that way, I don't think it would make it to its destination. Someone would just plain steal it for their own. Discreet shipping on any purchase, be it microwave or book, basic bland packaging is the rule of thumb. You have no need to worry. That extra large black dildo named "Big Hank" you've got your eye on will not be shipped to your door in packaging that shows Hank's shape, how large he is or even what he is. The store wants you to shop there again. Even the return address will be very nondescript.

Oh, and on the first two questions...no and no. But they have already been answered quite well by others.

 

[DVS]

it should be noted that there are people in the bdsm 'community' who will think that you are not a 'proper' sub unless you do x, y or z and will claim that you are misrepresenting yourself. this has happened to me twice, ironically by two people who were only binary 'masters'.

if it does happen, ignore them and go your own way.

oh, and watch out for 'mentors' too. Some of them can be really fucking creepy.

Not to be confused with Mentos, which when added to a 2 liter bottle of cola can be damn fizzy and pretty cool.